*Beep-beep-beep*
Kurt glanced down when he heard his phone go off. A slight smile played at the corner of his lips and his heart fluttered, like always, as he saw the name across the screen of his phone. Blaine.
"Hey, darling. How are you?" Kurt was so happy to hear from Blaine. Ever since they started college, Kurt at NYU and Blaine at Vanderbilt, they amount of time they spent talking to one another had decreased.
"Kurt. Hi. I'm doing…well," Blaine sighed. "I miss you. How are you?"
"Oh, Blaine. I'm doing wonderful. I love New York City! NYU is amazing. Everything is great. Except you aren't here. I miss you, too. I'm so used to being minutes apart and now-"
"And now we're 14 hours apart," Blaine cut Kurt off, finishing the sentence. Kurt could hear an almost angry tone in his voice as he emphasized the word "hours." Kurt was dying because of the separation, also, but he was managing. He knew he would see Blaine on holidays and they tried to talk on the phone every day.
"Baby, I know. It's tough. The distance… we can't let it break us. We're stronger than that. You know we'll see each other soon enough!"
"That's not good enough, Kurt!" Blaine snapped. He took a few deep breaths and continued, "Wait- Kurt. I'm sorry about that. This has just been a lot tougher on me than it has on you, it seems. I'm in Tennessee and you're all the way in New York. Don't get me wrong, I love Nashville. I love Vanderbilt. But, Kurt? I also… I also love you. And it's killing me being away from someone I love so dearly. I feel like I'm disappointing you. Not being the best boyfriend I can be.
"And this hour time difference… It's only one hour, but it still makes things tough. You always text me in the morning to tell me good morning… I can't even answer 'Have a good day!' before your 8 AM class starts because I'm waking up at about that time. And then homework…essays…going out with friends… just, everything is always inconvenient. I love getting texts from you, but I want to hear your voice. No, I want to see you. I want to hold you. The pain of not being with you is becoming too much, Kurt. I can't balance it and schoolwork and a social life. I can't do it! I'm being a terrible boyfriend, I'm not fully applying myself, and any friends I've actually managed to make probably don't want to hang out with me because I'm always trying to talk to you or moping because I'm not with you. I just can't do this anymore."
After Blaine finished ranting, Kurt was silent for several moments, mulling everything over. What exactly is Blaine trying to say? He wondered to himself.
"Kurt… you still there?" Blaine sounded… worried? His voice sounded funny, almost as if he was trying to hold back a sob.
"Yes, Blaine. I'm still here. Right here. I'm just a little confused, that's all. What exactly are you trying to say?" Fear began to creep into Kurt's mind. His stomach started rolling, as if he was going to be sick.
"Kurt… I love you. I love you with all my heart and I know I always will. You're one of the best people I've ever met in my life. But…" he paused, as if unsure what to say next.
"But? But nothing. You love me and I love you more than you can ever understand. So why can't we just be happy with that? Make it through this year… no, this semester. Then we can figure something out. We'll see each other on break. We'll see each other at Christmas. And maybe we can sneak in some weekend visits. I'll see if next semester I can transfer to the school, Belmont, down in Nashville. They have a good music program, right? See… we'll be together. We can make it work, I know it…" Kurt was desperate; you could hear it in his voice. You could hear it in the way he frantically threw out ideas that popped into his head. Tears began to form in his eyes. Giving up New York City? How could he do that? He wasn't thinking about what he was saying. He just knew he loved Blaine and he wasn't letting him go.
"KURT. Kurt. No. I will not let you throw away New York for me. You're at NYU. You're living your dreams. You have the chance to break into the Broadway scene now. You're fulfilling everything you ever hoped for. There is no way I would ever let you throw that away for me, Kurt Hummel. I don't want that."
"Then come to New York. You could go to Columbia. It's here in the city and it's and Ivy League school, so your parents would approve. I mean, Blaine… come on… we…" Kurt trailed off as the tears began to fall.
Blaine winced. He knew Kurt, so he knew he had begun to cry. It felt like someone was stabbing him in the heart. He didn't want to hurt Kurt. He only wanted to make things better for the beautiful boy who held his heart. Being so far away wasn't what Kurt needed. So that's what he told him.
"Kurt… Kurtie, please don't cry," Blaine begged. He knew hearing Kurt cry would only make him cry. And he had been so close to crying already… it wouldn't take much to set him off. "Kurt, honey. I want things to be better for you. I'm so far away from you and that's not what you need. You need someone close. Someone who can take you on date, someone who can hug you, someone who can kiss you…" Blaine choked back a sob, part of which came from the jealousy he felt for whoever the future person he was describing might be. "You need someone who can love you better than I can.
"You know, Kurt. One day, after college…" Blaine paused, calculating his approach to his attempt at comfort. "One day, if I'm lucky enough to find you're still single and we're at a place in our lives where we can be together… Damn it, I want us to be together. I want us to be together forever. And I promise you, if you don't find someone better than me, we will be together. I'll wait for you. But for now…"
Oh god… Kurt thought to himself. Here it comes. The end. Kurt was quietly sobbing now, not even trying to restrain himself. He felt like he was going to crumble. Icy fingers gripped his heart and slowly tore it to shreds. He didn't want to hear these words, but he had no choice as they tumbled out of Blaine's mouth…
"…We need to end things. I'm sorry, Kurt. However, I hope we can remain friends. You know, keep in touch. We can still visit each other. Because I would be devastated to completely lose someone as marvelous as you from my life."
"Too bad, you piece of shit. You just did." Kurt slammed his finger into the "end call" button on his phone and threw the thing against the wall. The back fell off, causing the battery to fall out. Good. Now he can't call back. And if he does, at least I won't know.
Fuming with anger, Kurt stood for a moment, staring at the wall in front of him. Then, like a tidal wave, the emotions slapped him in the face. He dropped to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, resting his head on top of them, and let his heartbreak take over.
Blaine hoped Kurt wouldn't react too harshly. He hoped what he said didn't make him sound like a complete asshole.
"…I would be devastated to completely lose someone as marvelous as you from my life," Blaine half smiled through his tears as he spoke these words, because they were completely true. Hopefully Kurt would realize he really did have good intentions and they could remain friends for the four years they were in college. Blaine held his breath, waiting for Kurt to say something. Anything.
"Too bad, you piece of shit. You just did."
Well… anything but that.