Disclaimer: Once again I'm astounded by anybody who believes that any of the characters are mine. I own nothing but this apartment I live in. And my car... and other stuff i need, but that's besides the point. I think we all knoe That I own nothing. except this apartment...
Juicy Fruit Anybody?
As we watch our pray we find that our favorite hero of which many stories have been written about weather they be wrong or right; we find him in a most uncomfortable spot.
"Uh… Ron? Is that my last piece of juicy fruit you are eating?" Harry asked with an awkward look on his face.
"Sure is Harry. Did ya want it back?" He replied nonchalantly.
"…"
"Harry?"
"NOOO! Now I must to depart to Hogsmead, and acquisition more before History of Magic! Do you comprehend what you have done? Professor Dumbledore told me if I don't masticate gum during mind-numbing lessons like that that I'll never grow to be a master of candy manipulation!" Harry screamed, and dropped to his knees with his head in his hands.
"Harry, what the hell did you just say?" Ron said with a confused look on his face.
Harry looked at him and said, "I need more gum before class."
"Oh."
Glancing around for anybody, he quickly threw on his cleverly concealed invisibility cloak, and told Ron, "I'm going to go get some gum from Hogsmead. I'll try to make it back before class."
"Uh… Okay Harry" Ron replied while chewing on the gum.
Harry pulled out his even more cleverly concealed Marauders map, and quickly dashed off towards the secret passage that would bring him into Hunydukes basement.
Meanwhile a few hundred miles away our favorite Dark Lord was pacing back and forth in his evil lair with his oddly fitting classical music playing in the background.
'I wonder why that Potter brat keeps managing to get away from me.' He thought, 'It's really sickening that he always escapes my cleverly concocted plans. I mean really, how does one manage to avoid getting hit by a falling piano, and save a kitten from getting shaved by a lawn mower at the same time?'
His musings however were interrupted by one Malfoy senior knocking lightly on his chamber door.
"Enter Lucius. I hope you have good news for me?" he said from his throne that he just sat upon.
Lucius glanced at the toilet that Voldemort just sat on ever so quickly before kneeling, and replying with a bit of concern in his voice, " My lord, my son has sent news that the Potter boy has gone to Hogsmead to acquire some more of something called Juicy Fruit. We may have a chance to ambush him in Huneydukes."
Voldemort jumped up, "THAT'S IT! I figured it out! That's how Potter always manages to get away! He's a child! If I turn…" he drifted off.
'Uh oh. The Dark Lord is losing it…' Lucuis thought.
Voldemort promptly turned towards Lucius, pulled out his wand, and said, "Don't you get it? Everybody we send to attack Potter has failed because they are all adults! If I send a bunch of children to attack him he'll surely lose!"
With that Voldemort began to turn all of the Death Eaters into children.
Back in Hogsmead where Harry was busy buying the entire stock at Honeydukes.
Harry left Honeydukes, and began walking towards the castle intently chewing on his gum. After leaving Hogsmead he ran almost dead smack into a little boy.
"Now what are you doing out here?" Harry asked still chewing rather obviously.
Before the boy could reply another figure stepped out in front of him. "Potter we meet again!"
"Oh crap… Listen, Volde I've no time to deal with you! I gotta get to History of Magic class. Because Dumbledore told me 'If you want to become a master of candy manipulation chew gum in History of Magic' Otherwise I'll never be able to shoot lemon drops out my nose!" Harry said with an odd satisfied look on his face.
Everything went silent except for a lone cricket somewhere near by.
Voldemort blinked, "What the hell did you just say, Potter? Never mind. I'm going to kill you right now! Go my faithful Death Eaters! Kill him!"
The bunch of kids that were with him looked at the bag of candy Harry had in his hand, and said, "Uncle Voldemort! Can we have candy too?"
Harry quietly stepped back.
Voldemort winced at the bunch of five year old kids.
The kids stared at Voldemort, and every now and then glanced at the candy.
"Voldemort?" Harry said.
"What?"
"Are those your DE's?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"…"
"Tell you what Voldemort. Let's play rock paper scissors. Winner takes the kids with him. If you win you leave me alone forever. IfI win I'll give you the candy." Harry said.
Voldemort sighed, "Alright… Let's do this"
Voldemort and Harry squared off, and looked each other in the eyes.
'I've got him this time' Voldemort thought.
"Ready? GO!"
Harry pulled out scissors. Voldemort got rock.
Voldemort laughed his evil laugh, "Now you shall die with these annoying kids! AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!"
Harry Blinked, "Uh... Volde. You won. You take the kids."
The kids looked at Voldemort with a hungry look.
"Oh crap."