Fandom Tsubasa- RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Title Only You
Pairings slight Subaru+Kamui
Timeline after the group arrives in Tokyo
Summary Mokona can sense sadness. Can the little creature sense what has made Kamui the way he is?
This is partially AU, because there is absolutely no space in the Tokyo arc to have this scene happen.
Been roamin' through this darkness,
I'm alive, but I'm alone
And part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone.
-- Love Me When I'm Gone, Three Doors Down
I woke up when I felt a soft, furry body crawl under my arm. I raised my head and saw the white creature that had arrived that afternoon snuggled into my elbow, like a living teddy bear.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice a whisper because, truthfully, I was too tired to be louder. "Aren't you supposed to be with your friends?"
The thing looked up at me and said, with more sincerity than I can truly express, "Mokona doesn't want Kamui to be lonely. Syaoran and everyone have each other, but there's only you."
I sat up when it said that, the rain cloak I used as a blanket collecting like a pool of water on top of the cot I slept in. Any beds that could be salvaged were for the injured or sick, everyone else made due with what was left. In fact, my room had once been an office, I could see the fluorescent lights in the dark, even when they didn't work anymore (there were no buildings or people left to manage the electricity, after all.) Mokona hopped a bit closer to me and I picked him up, he fit comfortably into my palms. I had never seen a creature like it, so small and yet with more emotion that any person I had ever met (well, maybe one person, but he had always been a bit different).
I whispered again, not wanting to be heard talking to what everyone else thought was a mutant, lying through my teeth. "You know that I have other people too, right?"
Mokona shook his head, his long ears seeming to go everywhere before settling back beside his body. "That's not true, Kamui doesn't care about them. Mokona knows that you feel alone."
This was turning into a very strange conversation. "And how exactly do you know that I'm lonely?"
"Because Mokona can tell when someone is sad, it's one of Mokona's 108 secret techniques."
"And what are the other 107?" I asked.
"There a secret."
I had to smile at that. This thing acted like such a little kid sometimes, saying "if I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore!" I rubbed behind his left ear, the one that had an earring attached to it. "That doesn't seem like a very good talent to have though."
He looked confused, so I explained, "Everyone feels sad or lonely at least once in their life, so it must be hard to have to deal with it everyday."
The long ears perked up a bit and his paws came together as he asked me, "But you weren't always lonely, were you?"
I let out a soft sigh, more like a pressure valve than anything else. I had never told anyone about my reasons for being so cold and distant, but he dealt with it all the time, he would understand, right?
"Believe it or not, I wasn't always like this. I was actually happy before, despite everything that happened. He made me forget all the bad things and make me feel happy, even when I felt like I was going to cry."
"Who did?"
I hesitated, don't ask me why. I guess I thought that if I said who, I would say too much. But it was the middle of the night and we weren't going anywhere, so I answered.
"My brother. He was always with me, and if we were ever apart it was only for an hour, it's like we were attached at the hip or something. But… he's gone now." I stopped and corrected myself. "I guess that's not the right thing to say, he's still here, but I have no idea what happened to him. When we came to this place he got trapped and I couldn't do anything to stop it."
"And that's why you've been protecting the water all these years, because that's where your brother is?"
I nodded, not looking at him anymore. The look of concern on his face was too much, I wasn't used to it. Of course he knew the story of my arrival, the people here wouldn't shut up about it, it had been so different from their repetitive days.
Mokona asked me if I was worried, which I didn't quite know how to answer, but I tried. "I am worried, so much that sometimes I think I'll go crazy, but he told me not too. He said he'd be fine, that this person we met had told him what was going to happen but he'd be okay. But it's been three years, that can't be true."
It's a good thing Mokona interrupted me, I was starting to ramble, and I doubt I was making a lot of sense. He asked, "Was Yuuko the person you met?"
He was a very perceptive creature to figure out that Subaru and I could travel worlds from all the nonsense I'd been spouting. "Yes she was. I'm guessing you came from Yuuko's weird shop with your friends?"
Mokona nodded, his ears moving again (I don't think it was possible for them not to move) and answered cheerfully, "Yes, Yuuko made Mokona and another Mokona. And if Yuuko says that you're brother will be okay then he will be, Yuuko never ever lies about anything!"
Maybe he was just trying to cheer me up, but I didn't care, that was what I wanted to hear. It's better to have a beautiful lie than the ugly truth. I held Mokona to my chest, my hands around him in the closest thing I could get to being a hug.
"Thank you, Mokona."
I felt his head move against my clothing, his voice a bit muffled by the closeness. He told me, "You look nice when you smile."
I placed Mokona on the cot in front of me and picked the rain cloak up. "So I've heard. Do you want to go to sleep yet? It's not good to be tired in this world."
He walked back to where he'd been when I woke up, and lay down again. I stroked his fur, thinking to myself how nobody could really fill in the hole that Subaru had in my heart, but maybe with the help of a weird, white creature it would hurt a little less.
After all, it had been the first time in three years that someone said I looked nice when I smiled.
Afterthoughts: Sorry for the fluff, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. And don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying that Kamui's life is worse than the motley group of heroes (Fay is in that group, remember?), far from it. It was late at night when I started thinking about the scene in Oto country where Mokona said that he could tell Fay was really sad when he laughed, and how that never got brought up again even though they met other sad people. I'm sorry I turned it into a vampire twins fic, but I love Mokona a lot. He's actually one of my favorite Tsubasa characters, he doesn't hide his emotions at all (xxxHolic's Mokona bores me in comparison, I've read 5 volumes so far and I can't remember it talking after the start of volume 2). So this is actually less a vampire twins story and more of a Give Mokona Love type of story.
This was also written in one day, so if there are grammar mistakes, please don't be harsh about it.
