PRIMROSE ACRES 2

by Heartwings

The requested sequel to Primrose Acres- life goes on for Janeway & Chakotay in Primrose Acres. Those who thought they were OOC in the first part should like this a lot better! Not required to read part 1, but this picks up right at the end of it.

Chakotay found that, as the afternoon wore on, he was more and more nervous about his "dinner date" with Kathryn. They had had dinner hundreds of times, but somehow this one was special. After all, she had just kissed him for the first time! Chakotay was still wearing the suit he had worn to work, but changed into jeans and an old shirt as Kathryn was just wearing jeans and a T shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror and thought, perhaps, she would change her clothes and put on something dressier, so he changed, but then thought he looked too dressed up, so he changed back to the jeans and shirt. No, that looked too sloppy, so he put his suit back on because she had said he looked nice in it, but he never dressed like that for dinner except at a restaurant. Back on went the jeans, but he selected a dressier button down shirt, tossed a sweater on his back and wrapped the arms around his shoulders. "Great, now I look like I'm going to prep school!" he laughed as he tossed the sweater on the bed. He finally decided on casual pants and a new, but casual, loose cotton shirt and put the huge pile of rejects back into the closet as he shook his head that it had taken him nearly an hour to get dressed.

Now casually yet fashionably dressed, Chakotay went to the kitchen and stood in front of the replicator as he scratched his head and wondered, "What should I take? Wine, red or white, what's she serving? Maybe one of each? No, two bottles of wine and she'll think I'm trying to get her drunk! Oh no, maybe she's still on medication and can't drink wine… alcohol free wine? No, she hates that stuff… and so do I! Flowers? Yes, flowers for sure, but what kind? Roses, yes, it has to be roses, her favorite!" He replicated the roses, sat them on the table and finally decided to replicate a nice bottle of rosé, since it would go with anything, and she could always save it for another occasion if she couldn't drink it. When they had their dinners on Voyager, which had come to an end some months before their return, usually one person provided the dinner and the other the wine and dessert. Chakotay had no idea what she was serving, so he tried to think of what dessert would go with anything. He suddenly remembered his earlier thoughts, after her appetizer kiss, and rushed upstairs to shave again, in case dessert was what he wanted more than the chocolate torte he'd replicated. Her kiss was on just the cheek, sweet and short, but it came from Kathryn and that was the most important thing in the world right now!

At precisely 1759, Chakotay left for the short walk to Kathryn's house, armed with wine, roses and the torte, and was suddenly faced with another dilemma. Should he casually arrive at the back door she usually used or ring at the front door? As he stood in his driveway trying to make a decision, Mrs. Wentworth passed by walking her Poodle and gave him a disapproving look. "Great, here I am with flowers and wine headed for Kathryn's house! I guess the cat is out of the bag now and all of Primrose Acres will know about it before sunset." He finally made a decision, went to the front door and rang the chime. "Hello, Kathryn, you look nice and something sure smells good. Here, I brought you flowers." He immediately chastised himself, for he thought that sounded dumb.

She took them from him smiled. "You shouldn't have done that, heavens, you brought me flowers just the other day! Please, come in, but dinner isn't ready quite yet. Oh, you brought wine and what's that in the container? Please, you can sit at the kitchen table and keep me company while I cook." Kathryn shrugged her shoulders and giggled, "Well, while I try to."

Chakotay showed her the torte and put it on the table. He suddenly felt under dressed and wished he could go home and change. "I made dessert, it's a chocolate torte. Well, it's replicated, but it's good. Kathryn, can you have wine, with your medication I mean? I wasn't sure."

"Oh yes, I suppose a glass or two wouldn't hurt, I'm not taking those pain pills anymore. Oh, if you look in the cupboards in the utility room, I think I have a vase in there. Could you put the flowers in water please and put them on the dining room table?"

"Of course," he replied as he went for the vase. "May I help you with anything? That dress is pretty, is it new?" He kicked himself again, Now I'm repeating myself, I sound dumb. Well, she does look pretty!

"Thanks, no, I just made spaghetti, garlic bread and a salad. I think I have it under control; I went for simple, safe and foolproof. I'm glad you brought dessert, I tried to make something, but I don't think it turned out well. Oh, yes, the dress is new, my mother insisted on taking me shopping and she picked it out."

Chakotay smiled as he finished arranging the roses and picked them up to carry to the dining room. "Well, like her daughter, your mother has good taste, you really do look very nice." Oh, jeez, I said it again! Chakotay took the vase of roses to the dining room and yelled back into the kitchen, "Kathryn, there's already a vase of flowers on the table!"

She yelled back, "Oh, I forgot, just put them someplace in the living room, will you? I got so many flowers when I had my accident you'd think someone died! Oh, and can you please get two wineglasses from the china cabinet and put them on the table too?"

"Sure," he replied as he sat his flowers on the table and picked up the other arrangement to move it. The flowers had a card tucked into them, so Chakotay was nosey and quickly slipped it out to read it. "I hope you're feeling better, see you again Friday night. Love always, Mark." He carried the arrangement into the living room, sat it on a shelf and sank into the nearest chair as he remembered the night Kathryn had called him Mark. So, he is back in her life? he thought as he looked at Mark's impressively large floral arrangement. I wonder how so? Obviously she's seen him and they're going to see one another again and those flowers say she's special. Well, he has her dog, so maybe that's it, she's just visiting her dog, I know she was crazy about it. She was also engaged to him and held on to him for years, but is she still…?

"Chakotay, can't you find the wine glasses? They're in the china cabinet, on the right side, I think."

He shook off his thoughts, hurried to the dining room, found them, placed them on the table and went back to the kitchen to open the wine. "Sorry, the table looks nice, I was just admiring your dishes." He picked up the bottle of wine, "Do you have a corkscrew?"

Kathryn scratched her head and quickly ran to the stove to check the garlic bread. "Oh, gosh, yes, Phoebe and I had wine the other night, but I don't know where she put it. Could you look through the drawers, please? I have to watch the bread so I don't burn it like I usually do, I know you don't like it too toasted. Soon as it's done dinner will be ready."

Kathryn had overcooked the pasta, but other than that, dinner was good and they chatted about the neighborhood during dinner as Chakotay knew more about the neighbors than Kathryn did. He asked about Voyager, but she said she hadn't heard anything and immediately moved on to what he thought she should plant in the yard and where would be the best place for a vegetable garden. Chakotay again tried to steer her back to Voyager and Starfleet, but this time it seemed to upset her a bit. "Look, Chakotay, I really don't know anything about the ship or crew, probably no more than you do and, anyhow, I'm under orders not to discuss what I know. Can we please talk about something else?"

"Sure, Kathryn, I'm sorry, it's just that I miss Voyager now that I hardly ever see any of the crew. Don't you miss it?"

"No, not really, I'm more interested in the future than reliving the past. I just want to get on with my life, that's all." She rose and started to clear the table. Chakotay stood as well, but Kathryn took his plate from him. "No, I'll do it. Why don't you have a seat on the porch and we can have dessert and coffee out there? It's too nice an evening to stay cooped up inside. I'll be right out, just make yourself at home."

Chakotay went onto the porch, which he had never seen before, and had to laugh. It was huge, with a good view of the back yard and a lovely flagstone floor, but contained only a small wicker loveseat with a tattered cushion, two folding lawn chairs, an old table that had a stack of books in lieu of a missing leg, a half dead potted plant and a cargo container standing in as a coffee table. He sat on the loveseat and enjoyed the view of the pool, wondering if Kathryn had been in it since her accident.

She came out on the porch shortly and sat a tray with the torte, plates, forks and two mugs of coffee on the cargo container. "Sorry, as you can see, I haven't exactly had time to shop for porch furniture yet. This torte looks heavenly!"

"Thanks, I hope you like it. Kathryn, I'm off tomorrow, so why don't we go shopping for some porch furniture for you? I really need to get a couple more chairs for my deck and we can have it delivered together and that'll save money. I know of a great place in town, how about we go tomorrow morning at ten and then maybe we could have lunch in town too?"

Kathryn handed him a slice of the torte on a plate and sat in one of the chairs opposite him. "Thanks, but I don't think so."

Chakotay took a sip of coffee and smiled. "Good coffee! Don't think so to shopping or lunch or both?"

"Both. Mmm, this torte is exquisite, I never met anything chocolate I didn't like!"

"Neither did I," he grinned as he ate a big bite. "Kathryn, you obviously really need some furniture, why don't we just go, you don't have plans, do you? If you get tired we can skip lunch and come right home. I'd also like to look for a bedspread and curtains to replace what Mrs. Westerman left. I rented the house furnished and some of her things are just too foo foo for my taste, so I want to put away some of her things and replace them with something less 'little old lady' in style. I'd really like your help to pick some new things out and you probably need to buy things for your house too, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but I can't right now. Want another slice?"

"Sure. Why not, Kathryn? I'll help you carry it in, I know you're probably not feeling up to…"

"Enough!" Kathryn waved her hand to silence him, stood, put her hands on her hips and drew in a big breath before she finally sat back down. "OK, I'll tell you, Chakotay, I'm broke, alright? I bought a new car and I had to buy new clothes and a lot of stuff, had an old loan I had to pay off and this house cost me a fortune and I had to have all my things transported from Indiana. The truth is I can't even afford to buy lunch, much less any furniture, until I get paid again at the end of the month! OK? Satisfied?"

"Kathryn, I'm sorry, I didn't know and I wasn't trying to pry or embarrass you or anything and I most certainly understand. I'd be glad to lend you some money, you can pay me back whenever you're able. I'm only renting and the university is paying me very well to teach those two classes, so I'd be glad to help you out."

She sat her dessert plate back on the table, obviously no longer interested in eating it. "No, but thanks, I'll manage. Everything will be fine when I get my promotion at the end of the year, but things will be a little tight until then, that's all, and I only have fifty some credits to my name until I get paid again at the end of the month. I probably should have bought a cheaper house, but I liked this one so much and it was worth it for the privacy; I'm so sick of reporters and paparazzi hounding me!"

Chakotay leaned forward and handed her plate back to her. "C'mon, finish your dessert. If you don't eat chocolate I'll be obligated to run you into sickbay! This is a nice house, I don't blame you and, so far, I haven't had any problems with press here. There's a lot of prominent people in Primrose Acres and they value their privacy as much as you do. How about you at least let me get you a food replicator? You can consider it an early birthday present."

"Thanks, but I don't think so." She finally leaned back and started eating her torte again. "Fact is it's about time I learned to cook, so I'm better off without a replicator."

"Well, OK, but you can use mine anytime you want. I'll give you the code to my doors. You can do your laundry at my house too, I noticed you only have hookups in your utility room and no laundry units."

"Yeah, they didn't come with the house. Thanks, I may take you up on that for a month or two. I've been washing things out in the utility room sink and strung up a makeshift clothesline in the garage, but that's getting old really fast."

"I could put up a good clothesline for you in the backyard. It's handy to have one, even after you…"

Kathryn laughed and cut him off, "Haven't you read the Primrose Manifesto? No clotheslines, that Poodle lady would be all over me!"

"Oh, I didn't know about that one. I guess Mrs. Westerman didn't either, there's one across my deck, comes in real handy for towels from the hot tub. I think you can get away with things here as long as they can't be seen from the street, but I wouldn't put it past them to have aerial surveillance too!" Chakotay took a long sip of coffee as he mustered his courage. "Oh, Kathryn, there's a reception at the Faculty Club Friday evening to welcome new faculty members and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me? A woman introduced herself to me, Bianca Timoy from the Astrophysics Department, and she says she knows you and she'll be there."

"Oh, Bianca! She lived a few doors down from my old house, wonderful woman, please tell her I said hello. I'm sorry, but I have plans for Friday night."

Chakotay nodded and reached for his coffee again, now remembering the note in Mark's floral arrangement. He was dying to ask her about her plans, but knew that would be going too far. "What about Saturday night, would you like to go out to dinner Saturday night? There's a new Bajoran restaurant downtown that I hear is just marvelous and they have live folk music Saturday nights."

Kathryn stood and started picking up the dishes as she said, "Thanks, but I don't think so. Thank you for bringing this dessert, it was just exquisite."

Realizing the evening was probably over, Chakotay helped her put the dishes on the tray and carry them into the kitchen. "How about a game or two of chess, Kathryn? It's still early, or maybe you'd like to take a walk to the park and feed the ducks in the pond?"

"No thanks, I'm tired," she replied as she walked to the front door and held it open. "Thanks for coming over and the wine, dessert and flowers."

"Of course," he replied as he stood in front of her. "Thank you for inviting me, it was a wonderful dinner." Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder lightly and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Chakotay, don't!" Kathryn said as she put up her palm to stop him and stepped back before he could kiss her.

"Kathryn, I was only going to kiss you goodnight on the cheek, like you kissed me earlier by the pool," he grinned.

She pushed her hair back as her face took on a blank stare. "I did?"

He smiled warmly as he remembered. "Yes, you did, when you invited me to dinner this afternoon. You said it was the appetizer, remember?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't," she replied as she abruptly shut the door.

Chakotay walked straight to the park and sat on a bench by the pond to think, but there were too many people there, so he returned home and made himself a cup of tea. He had a lot of journals to catch up on since his return, so took his tea into the living room and sat in a comfortable old arm chair to read. It soon became apparent he couldn't concentrate. Chakotay put his journals aside and called his sister, hoping she'd have time to chat.

After they had been through work, family and the weather, Suleya cut to the chase. "Chakotay, I really don't think you called me to tell me about how warm it's been lately. I can see you're upset, what's going on?"

He gave her a boyish grin. "I never could hide anything from you, could I? I'm upset about Kathryn."

Suli laughed, "Why, what's that little witch done to you now?"

"Suli, she's not a witch!"

"Oh yeah, that's right, I think you said she was a rabid redheaded bitch, didn't you? Did she call the police on you again?"

"No, nothing like that and it was that Wentworth woman that called the police, not her. I guess I haven't talked to you for a few days. Kathryn and I apologized and we're friends again, I had dinner over at her house tonight."

Suli's eyebrows went up, "Really! Well, I can tell by your face something bad must have happened. Was she being nice to you just to lull you into a false sense of security and play another joke on you? Is she being a tease?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I invited her for dinner last night and it went well and she invited me over tonight and everything was fine until I mentioned Voyager and I think that upset her, but I don't know why. Well, it was more I just couldn't seem to say the right things and I embarrassed her and I sounded like an idiot, I probably told her she looked pretty half a dozen times." Chakotay smirked at his sister's eye rolling grin, "Well, she did! I kept going on about going shopping together and how she needs stuff and I didn't know she's broke after buying that house until she told me. Anyhow, there was this floral arrangement and I know I shouldn't have, but I read the card in it, and it was from her old fiancé and I think they're seeing each other again. I asked her out and she said no. She couldn't get me out of the house fast enough and I tried to kiss her goodnight and that upset her too. She'd kissed me a few hours earlier and she said she didn't remember it, so now I'm wondering if she's really alright, from her accident I mean."

"Wow! So, you're babbling like an idiot and jealous? No doubt about it, you're in love. Humm, and I could swear that a couple days ago you were telling me how much you hated her? Are you sure she's the one that hit her head?"

"That's not funny, she almost died, and yes, dammit, I love her! OK, so maybe I tried to hate her for a while, but obviously I wasn't very good at it."

"OK, OK, calm down, I'm sorry. Maybe you just made her uncomfortable and were laying it on too thick and she thought you were rushing her?"

"Well, I know she was embarrassed about the money and her house is pretty pathetic inside because she doesn't have a lot of furniture and she's not much of a cook or housekeeper either, but things like that don't really matter to her or to me. Kathryn and I have been friends for seven years, she knows me better than anyone, except maybe you, so she knows I wasn't over there for more than dinner. I invited her to the reception at the Faculty Club Friday night and she said no, so I asked her out to dinner Saturday night and she said no to that too. That note in the flowers I read said something about he'd see her Friday night. I wasn't thinking about it when I asked her out for Friday, that it was the same night, but she told me she had plans, so she must be going out with him."

Suli nodded, "That makes sense. What do you know about him, you said he was her fiancé?"

"Yes, she was engaged to him when Voyager left, but some years later she heard from him that he'd gotten married and she was devastated about it. I don't know much about him, his name is Mark, I don't even know if he's still married, where he lives or works or anything. Well, he must be single again as I'm pretty sure Kathryn wouldn't mess with a married man, she's not that type. I think she'd known him for a long time and she sure was crazy about him. The note said something about seeing her again, so she's obviously already seen him, that much I know. He was taking care of her dog for her when she left, so he may still have it, but the note was signed love and it was a damn impressive floral arrangement for a casual friend. I thought things were going good when she invited me over this afternoon, but maybe she just wanted to make amends for all the jokes or for me helping her or for dinner last night?"

Suli considered what he'd said. "Well, it's possible. I think maybe you need to realize that she has moved on and you're just an old friend and coworker or the guy next door to her now? Face it, she's a celebrity in the news all the time and Starfleet's little darling and I'm sure lots of guys are chasing after her and… Chakotay, I haven't seen you cry since father died, is this woman really worth your tears?"

"Yes, she is. I love her, I love her more than I ever thought I could ever love anyone. Suleya, obviously she doesn't feel the same way and I just don't know what to do."

"Well, my brother, the only thing I can do is to give you the same advice father would: things that are meant to be will be and those that aren't will not. OK, so Father said it more eloquently than that. If I were you, I'd be a good friend to her and wait a few days and maybe ask her out again. If she says no, I think you have your answer, but don't forget, she'll still be your friend."

"I know, thanks. Almost since the day I met Kathryn she's all I can think of and all I dreamed of those seven years was getting home and having a life with her."

"Chakotay, I think you need to consider that perhaps she doesn't share your dream? I remember you told me about what happened with Seven, maybe that hurt Kathryn too much? Please promise me you won't let this take over your life and, if it doesn't work out, you'll move on."

He wiped his face with his sleeve again. "I can't make you that promise. I'm sorry, I have to go. Goodnight." Chakotay cut the link, changed into his running clothes and ran until he could run no more. Totally out of breath, he sat in the park, now dark and deserted, and buried his face in his hands as he quietly sobbed. When there were no more tears left, he walked home, glanced into Kathryn's living room window, saw her curled up on the sofa with her com link in her lap and could only wonder if she were talking to him.

"Took you long enough!" Kathryn exclaimed as her sister finally answered.

"You try wrangling three kids into bed while laying out their clothes for school the next day, cleaning up the kitchen, doing the laundry and listening to a lazy husband gripe about how I spend too much money and see how long it takes you to get to the comm link! How was your day, what did you do?"

"Not much. I rearranged the den a little and decided I want to paint it dark green and eventually get leather furniture, you know, like in those fancy old houses. Chakotay came over after work and I showed him that article in the paper I sent you about the poo poo Poodle and we had a good laugh over it and then he came over for dinner."

"Ohh, Katie, dinner! So, how did the date go?"

"It wasn't a date, Phoebs, just dinner. I made spaghetti and he brought the dessert and wine and some flowers. He left more than an hour ago."

"Uh huh, flowers huh? Roses? How did it go, are you two getting cozy?"

"Yes, roses and, no, nothing happened. I was pretty upset, he kept going on about shopping and all the stuff I obviously need and I finally had to tell him I'm broke. To be honest, the evening was pretty awkward, I guess, and I didn't enjoy it very much. It was probably a mistake to invite him over."

Phoebe laughed. "Are you kidding, that gorgeous bronze hunk of a man? If half of what you said about him in your letters was true, the two of you should be upstairs making the earth shake right about now. What's wrong, Katie?"

"I don't know!" she replied as she took the comm link from the desk and flopped down onto the sofa. "It just didn't go well, that's all."

"You'll have to do better than that! What, was he boring, pushy, did he try to get in your pants?"

"No, of course not!"

Phoebe grinned, "Oh, so he didn't try and you're pissed? What did you wear? You have nice legs, Katie, you ought to show them off more and a little cleavage wouldn't hurt either! In seven years the two of you really didn't do anything?"

"No, we didn't, we couldn't, you know that. I wore that black dress I got at that boutique downtown when Mom and I went shopping. Chakotay's always been a gentleman, Sis, all he did was try to kiss me goodnight."

"Try? Try? You didn't let him? What's wrong with you, Katie? Oh, and that dress, it looks like a funeral shroud. You want a little action, show a lot more skin!"

"I don't know! I said no. It wasn't that, he said I'd kissed him this afternoon and, I swear, I don't remember it!"

Phoebe's expression suddenly became serious. "Katie, maybe you need to go see the doctor again? You said he's honest, so, if he said that, you probably did, so maybe you're still having problems remembering things?"

"I guess. He invited me out Friday night and you know I already have plans, so I said no, and then he asked about Saturday and I don't have anything to do, but I said no too. Oh, Phoebe, I'm just so confused!"

"Katie, relax! First thing I think you need to do is go see the doctor again tomorrow. As far as Chakotay goes, you need to ask yourself how you really feel about him, do you really love him?"

"OK, I'll call the doctor tomorrow, I promise. Yes, of course I love Chakotay, but I'm not sure how. I'm scared, Phoebe, scared about making any changes and I'm not too sure I really trust myself right about now. I had dinner over at his house last night and it was wonderful, just like old times, but tonight wasn't. I can't explain it, it's just that I think he wants something that I don't have to give."

"OK, Katie, call the doctor tomorrow and just take your time with Chakotay. I'm starting to wonder if he is right for you and I think you are too and, don't forget, you have other options. Why don't you take a nice hot bath and get a good night's sleep and see how things look in the morning?"

Kathryn smiled and touched the screen. "OK, I will, I promise. Goodnight, Phoebe, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Katie, sweet dreams."

The next morning Chakotay went for a walk after breakfast and, as he turned back onto his street, he found himself accompanied by Mrs. Wentworth and her Poodle. Realizing the only way to escape her would be to be rude and simply turn around and go the other way, he smiled lamely and said, "Good morning, Mrs. Wentworth."

She gave him a dubious stare. "Good morning, Mr. Chakotay. I trust you won't be having any more wild parties at your house? We certainly don't condone that sort of thing here in Primrose Acres, you know."

He grinned as he quickened his pace, hoping she wouldn't be able to keep up. "Yes, Ma'am. It wasn't a party, Ma'am, I uh… I… well, I invited people over from some of the local churches so I could decide which one to join. Yes, that's all it was."

Mrs. Wentworth stopped and gave him a wan smile. "Oh, church, that's very commendable, however I was referring to that ghastly pink mess in your yard and all that commotion the other night. It upset poor Fifi so she didn't sleep well."

Chakotay stifled a grin. "Yes, Ma'am, I'm so sorry about that, but it seems someone must have put bubble bath in my hot tub as a prank. I assure you I had nothing to do with it. The unit malfunctioned and I couldn't shut it off, but I've repaired it and, again, I'm sorry it upset the neighborhood and your dog."

"Well, I bet it was that dreadful Janeway woman, she's nothing but trouble and we don't need riff raff like her in the neighborhood. By the way, I saw you going over there with flowers last night. You're not wasting your time associating with the likes of her, are you?"

"Uh, no, Ma'am. She was sick and I just thought I'd be a good neighbor and check on her, see if she needed any help and take her some flowers, that's all. She really is a nice person and I'm sure she won't be any trouble."

"She already is! I know, I should introduce you to my oldest daughter Alison, you'd love her! She needs to meet someone nice like you, not some scoundrel like her second husband or her third, that one drank you know. I'll call her when I get home and see when she's free and then you can come to dinner and meet her; I know you'll just love her!"

Chakotay was struck with terror. "Uh, no… thank you so much, I'm sure your daughter is lovely, but I… I… I have a girlfriend, uh… someone from work." He looked at his watch, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was so late, I have to… uh… get to the library, I have to run. Nice seeing you, Ma'am."

Mrs. Wentworth was clearly devastated. "Oh, dear, that's too bad. Well, I still insist you meet Alison, you know, in case that woman at work doesn't work out. I'll let you know next time she plans to visit," she yelled as Chakotay ran off down the street.

When Chakotay got home he went in the house, grabbed his briefcase, jumped in the car and took off. He didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to get away as the thought of having to meet Mrs. Wentworth's daughter was terrifying. Since his return everyone was trying to play matchmaker and he'd had more than enough as there was only one woman on the planet he was interested in.

When Mrs. Wentworth reached Chakotay's house, she knocked on the door, hoping perhaps he hadn't left yet. Receiving no reply, she turned to leave. "He just left," Kathryn shouted as she was loading some boxes into her car.

Mrs. Wentworth walked over to Kathryn's house and smiled, "Are you moving?"

"No, just taking some old clothes that don't fit anymore into town to donate to charity, that's all. I don't know where Chakotay went, would you like me to give him a message for you when he comes home?"

"No, I was just stopping by to invite him to dinner. I want him to meet my eldest daughter. I know he's dating someone from the university, but I'd still like him to meet her. You never know, sometimes things don't work out."

"They sure don't!" Kathryn exclaimed as she slammed the trunk of her car so hard she practically dented it. She started running for the house. "I'm sorry, I forgot something, have a nice day!" she shouted as she went back in, slammed the door and flopped down on the sofa. "Dating someone from the university? Wow, he sure doesn't waste time." Kathryn grabbed a throw pillow and gave it a few punches before she smoothed out the dent and placed it on her lap. "Sorry, no sense taking out my frustrations on you. No wonder last night was so awkward, he was probably wishing he were with someone else. I'm the one who wasted time, it's my fault and I can't really blame him. I'm sure women are swooning at his feet and why shouldn't they? The press has dubbed him the most eligible man on the planet!" Kathryn gave the pillow a hug before she replaced it and stood. "Oh well, I had my chance and I blew it. I'm sure he has plenty of women to chose from, much prettier and younger and saner than one who talks to pillows!" Kathryn grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "I think I need my head checked and I promised Phoebe I'd do that today, but I think I'll skip telling the doctor I'm talking to pillows, much less myself now, as they'd lock me up for sure."

The doctor at Starfleet was not pleased with Kathryn. He detected some residual swelling and damage and advised Kathryn to continue to take it easy, which he knew she hadn't exactly been doing. The memory problems and feelings of confusion and disorientation that she had been experiencing could certainly be due to her injury and were, most likely, just temporary. The doctor again reminded her that he was of the opinion Kathryn's brain would best heal on it's own and that would take time and plenty of rest.

The remainder of the week passed uneventfully. Kathryn and Chakotay seemed to be walking on eggshells. They would wave and say hello and engage in meaningless chit chat, but neither of them was quite sure if and how to confront the issues between them. Kathryn, cajoled by her sister and the doctor's voice in the back of her head, did finally relent and spent much of her time in bed or lying on the sofa. She was becoming frustrated with forgetting simple little things and knew, for once in her life, following doctor's orders was the best course of action.

On Saturday Chakotay got up early to cut the grass and work in the yard. Mrs. Westerman had lovely gardens and he had promised he would take care of them as well as she had, although he didn't know how much time was involved when he made the promise. Afterwards Chakotay showered and sat at the kitchen table with his lunch and stared at, poked and prodded it until it was no longer recognizable. As he got up to answer the com link, he tossed the remains into the sink and grabbed a bottle of beer on his way into the living room. "Oh, it's you, hi Sis."

His sister leaned towards the screen and rested her face on her palms. "Well, I can see this is serious! You never drink beer this early in the day and it's obvious you were hoping I was someone else… let me guess, Kathryn?"

He took a sip of beer, sat it down and matched her posture. "Well, yeah, no offense, but that's not likely to happen."

"Why not? I thought you said you were going to go over there and cut her grass for her again because she's still not feeling well. What, did she say no to that too?"

Chakotay took another sip of beer. "I didn't get the chance to ask." He buried his face in his hands for a few moments before he ran them through his hair and sat back. "Suli, Kathryn didn't come home last night. I know because she has so much stuff in her garage she has to park her car outside. She wasn't home when I got home last night and I couldn't sleep, so I kept getting up and checking because I was worried about her. I saw her come home about nine this morning, still wearing the same gown she was last night when I saw her leave… and she wasn't alone."

"I see. I'm so sorry, Chakotay, but maybe you and Kathryn just weren't meant to be?" Suleya smiled gently and touched her fingertips to the screen. "Was it her old fiancé that was with her?"

"Yeah, I was on the far side of the yard picking up some branches, but it sure looked like the guy in the pictures she used to have in her quarters. I've never met him, but I know it was him. They were talking and laughing and he had his arm around her as they went in the house, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. After a while, he came out and mowed the lawn and then they left together and came back with a new diving board for her pool and he installed it and they were sitting out by the pool having lunch last time I looked over there." Chakotay let out a sob and chased it with another swig of beer. "I guess it's over, I messed up so bad, didn't I? I swear, I feel like someone ripped my soul right out of my body and it just killed me to see her laughing and joking with him and to know that he's the one she wants to be with. Suli, what am I going to do?"

She gave him a little smile. "The first thing you're going to do is quit drinking beer, that won't help! You grieve, Chakotay, and then you move on and keep yourself busy until you're ready to start dating again. Sometimes jumping right back in is the best thing, so why don't you invite that woman you were telling me about from the university over for dinner? You said she's fun and you're both interested in the same things, so give it some thought. I know you said you really like that house, but perhaps you should think about moving as it might help not to have to live next door to her? Don't do anything right away, take some time to think about it."

Chakotay drained his beer and carefully placed the bottle on the desk. "Last beer, I promise! Don't worry, I won't end up like Grandfather! OK, you're right. It's not the end of the world, it just feels like it because I really thought Kathryn and I were doing so well and I was just so happy to have her back in my life. I'm sure I have a future, it's just that I don't feel like looking forward to it right now."

Suli gave him another understanding smile. "Don't worry, you will. My better half took the kids camping and you know how much I hate camping, so I'm home alone all weekend and I'll be here if you need me. Chakotay, what did I say, why are you crying again?"

"Kathryn hates camping too! Oh, gods, I think I need to go have a good cry! Thanks, Sis, I love you."

"I love you too, talk to you soon."

Kathryn was tired and napped most of the afternoon as the evening before had really tired her out and she now knew she shouldn't have gone. She ambled around the house a bit before she went to the kitchen. Nothing looked good, however she finally heated up some leftover spaghetti for dinner and ate about three bites before she abandoned the plate on the table and called her sister. "Hi, Phoebe, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Katie, but you don't look so good. You overdid it didn't you? Didn't you take a nap?"

"Yeah, I tried, but I didn't sleep very well." She sighed, "Last night was a mistake and I know it now." Kathryn made a face at the comm link screen. "OK, you can say 'I told you so!' "

Phoebe turned to yell at one of the kids and laughed. "No, I'm too exasperated! Katie, I know that look, what's wrong?"

Kathryn's lip quivered before she burst into tears. "Oh, Phoebe, I went in the dining room to close the drapes and I saw him!" Kathryn sobbed some more before she was able to continue. "That neighborhood busybody woman said Chakotay was dating someone from the university and he is. I saw them, she came to the door and he hugged and kissed her. Oh, Phoebe, she's gorgeous and they're sitting out his deck eating dinner together. He's not very physically demonstrative with people he doesn't know well, but they keep touching and hugging, so I know there's chemistry there. Dammit all to hell, I lost him!"

"Hold on," Phoebe said as she chased the kids from the room, closed the door and returned to the screen. "Sorry, you know how it is around here on Planet Chaos! Katie, maybe it's not what you think. Did you try going out on the porch and eavesdropping?"

Kathryn slumped back in her chair as she wiped her nose on her sleeve. "Of course, but I can't hear what they're saying, just that they're laughing a lot and obviously having a good time. I shouldn't have gone last night, I bet that was it."

"Does he know you were at Mark's?"

"I don't know, I don't think I told him where I was going and what I was doing, but I can't even remember where I put the box of tissues, so how the hell would I know? I do remember he invited me to dinner tonight and I said no." Kathryn's tears started flowing anew. "Obviously he found someone else to have dinner with!"

"Katie, stop crying, getting all worked up won't help. Talk to me, why did you say no when he asked you out tonight?"

"I don't know, dammit, I don't know! Why am I so messed up and confused?" Kathryn stood, ran her hands through her hair, searched in vain for the box of tissues and sat back down. "Phoebe, what am I going to do?"

Phoebe considered the question before answering. "Well, if you want him you're going to have to fight for him, that's all. Why don't you go over there tomorrow and ask him to come help you with something, to move a piece of furniture or something, and then invite him for dinner? Oh, and make sure you don't dress like a Vulcan matron for once!" Phoebe added with a crooked smile.

"Forget that, you should have seen her, she looks like a fashion model, she's tall and absolutely gorgeous and stacked to the hilt." Kathryn finally managed a little smile. "I couldn't compete with her, that much I know. Besides, I'm not going to play games, you know I'm not like that. You were always the one good at flirting and getting men to eat out of your hand, not me."

Phoebe laughed as she held up her left hand. "Right, and I stole him away from Janie Hollingsworth and I'm still married to him!"

Kathryn laughed, "Yeah, 'cause you'd sleep with him and she wouldn't!" Kathryn held up her hands to stop Phoebe before she could interrupt. "No, don't even say it, I'm not throwing myself at him! The way I look nowadays and at my age, I don't have much to throw! Anyhow, our relationship was never about sex and, quite honestly, I liked that because I knew he was interested in me for me and not for anything else. Phoebe, I told you, she's stunning and, if she's a professor at the university, she's probably also smart and interesting to talk to, so I wouldn't stand a chance."

"Katie, you're hopeless! OK, well, you have to make up your mind if you're going to give up or put up a fight and I shouldn't have to remind you that you didn't get to be where you are, almost Admiral Janeway, by giving up. I also shouldn't have to remind you that you're still recovering from a serious injury, you're not yourself yet and maybe you should take a couple days to think about it." Phoebe turned and yelled at the kids in the other room. "I'm sorry, Katie, I have to go, the kids are fighting again and I have to break it up before they destroy the house." She turned and yelled at the kids again. "Whatever you do, Katie, don't have kids!"

Kathryn laughed, "Not much chance of that happening, I'm afraid! OK, I'm going to curl up with a good book and I'll call you in the morning. Give me a yell if you need me to come over there with my commando gear and a phaser."

Phoebe jumped up as something crashed. "Will do, love ya, Katie!"

Kathryn read for almost two hours before she went out on the porch to see what was happening next door. Chakotay and the woman were in the hot tub together and, by the sounds of it, having a wonderful time. She went back in the house and, realizing she still hadn't eaten much since lunch, heated up her dinner again. She sat, twirling the spaghetti around the fork over and over again, not eating more than a bite or two. Kathryn finally tossed it in the sink, took a bath and cried herself to sleep sometime well after midnight.

The next morning she was on her third cup of coffee by time her sister called. Kathryn grabbed the comm link and sat it on the kitchen table. "Hi, Phoebe," she said as she rested her chin on her cheek and sipped her coffee.

Phoebe did the same. "Good morning. Well, I can see I'm not the only one that didn't sleep well. So, how goes it?"

Kathryn stared into her coffee, somehow hoping maybe it would tell her what to say. "Not good, I've been crying all morning. I woke up early and tried to have a positive attitude and I got myself together, put on some make up and this nice outfit and I marched myself next door to ask Chakotay to help me move my big dresser over to the other wall and…" Kathryn buried her face in her hands and started sobbing.

"And what, Katie, what happened?"

"And, when I got to the gate, his kitchen window was open and I could hear her talking, so I ran back home! Phoebe, that woman, she spent the night! Oh, what am I going to do? Gods, she was saying how comfortable the bed was…"

"Katie, Katie, calm down! Maybe she's just some slut and it was nothing more than a meaningless roll in the hay?"

"No, Chakotay isn't like that! You don't know him, he isn't like that! I'm sorry, I have to go," Kathryn said as she cut the link, ran back upstairs, threw herself on the bed, cried until she couldn't cry anymore and fell asleep.

On Tuesday morning Chakotay slept late as he'd stayed up half the night going through a month's worth of anthropology journals. He sat at the kitchen table eating a late breakfast as he went through the dozens of offers he had received since his return to speak at various events: everything from prestigious scholarly gatherings to corporate meetings, high school graduations and even a science fiction convention. As the comm link chirped he knew it was his sister calling to check up on him, so he punched the button without even bothering to see who it was. "Hello, gorgeous!" he said with a smile.

His smile was met with a startled look. "Uh, I guess you were expecting someone else? Chakotay, it's Phoebe Janeway, Kathryn's sister. I'm sorry to bother you, but I haven't been able to get in touch with Kathryn for two days now, so would you mind looking to see if her car is there?"

"Sorry, sure, hold on a minute." Chakotay went to the living room window, looked next door and returned to the kitchen table. "Yes, her car is in the driveway."

"That's odd, I've been calling her all morning and she doesn't answer. Have you seen her lately?"

Chakotay rubbed his chin as he thought. "Well, no, I don't think I've seen her since Saturday, but I was away all day yesterday. Now that I think of it, I got home around nine last night and her house was dark, but I'm pretty sure her car was there."

"That's odd. I've been trying to reach Owen Paris to see if he could check on her, but haven't had any luck, and I can't remember the names of any of Katie's friends out there and I don't really know anyone in San Francisco. My son is sick and I'm half sick too, so I can't beam out. I really hate to ask, but would you mind going over there and checking on her? She was pretty upset the last time I talked to her and, with her hitting her head and all, I'm worried about her."

"Sure, no problem, I'd be glad to do it and I'll tell her to call you."

Phoebe coughed and then smiled. "Thanks so much, I'm not feeling well either, I'd really appreciate it."

Chakotay walked to Kathryn's back door and knocked gently. Receiving no reply, he looked through the windows and couldn't see anyone, so he knocked more loudly the second time and called her name. Knowing that she often spent time in the den and had a comfortable sofa in there where she might have fallen asleep, he walked around and looked in the den windows, but didn't see her there either. Finally Chakotay returned to the back door and pounded as loudly as he could before he keyed in the code and walked into the house.

He started to call her name and suddenly thought that maybe she wasn't alone and didn't want to be disturbed. Chakotay walked around the house quietly, checking the rooms, and noticed that her purse was on the kitchen counter where she usually kept it and there was a pile of spaghetti in the sink that looked like it had been there for quite a while. Satisfied she wasn't downstairs, he called her name several times, shouting the last, "Kathryn, it's Chakotay, are you alright? Your sister called me and asked me to check on you."

His call went unanswered, so he ventured up the stairs, found her bedroom door open and poked his head in. Kathryn was face down on the bed with a quilt over her, so he again called her. When she didn't respond, Chakotay walked to the bed, jostled her shoulder and said, "Kathryn, are you OK?" She moved slightly and moaned, so he tried to turn her over on her back. "Kathryn, are you OK? Wake up!"

She opened her eyes about half way and whispered, "Mark, is that you?"

"No, Kathryn, it's Chakotay," he replied as he caught a tear before it fell. "Your sister asked me to come over and check on you." Chakotay turned on the lamp on the bedside table to get a good look at her. "Kathryn, you look awful, are you sick, what happened?" She mumbled incoherently and rolled back over. Chakotay went to the little box on her dresser where she kept her pips and comm badge and grabbed it. "Come on, Kathryn," he said as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and picked her up, "I think you need to see the doctor."

The same doctor that had seen her before was there to meet them when they materialized on the transporter pads at Starfleet Medical. He gave them a quirky look and smiled. "You two again! Last time I saw the captain she was doing quite well, what happened?"

Chakotay spoke as he carried Kathryn to the bed in the treatment area and gently placed her on it. "I don't know. Her sister hadn't heard from her and asked me to check on her and I found her in bed like this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. "I found this, empty, on the bedside table so maybe she took them and overdosed? Oh, I don't know, I saw her the other day, Saturday I think, and she looked OK, although she's seemed a little off to me since her accident."

The doctor looked at the pill bottle and put it aside. "Those are the antibiotics I gave her and they should be gone by now. Even if she took the whole bottle at once, all it would do is give her the worst case of diarrhea she's ever had." The doctor opened his tricorder and scanned her. "No, there's no drugs in her, but bringing the bottle was the right thing to do. You know the drill, go wait in the lounge and I'll come talk to you once I've had a chance to evaluate her."

Chakotay sat and fidgeted as he tried to run through the last couple of days in his head. He was sure he last saw Kathryn Saturday, out by the pool having lunch with Mark, and she seemed fine, although he only saw her through the window. He never saw Mark leave and was almost certain he didn't see her Sunday and had been gone all day Monday, so he knew he didn't see her then either. He now wished he had taken the time to take a better look at her to see if she had any injuries. As a horrible thought occurred to Chakotay, he stood and walked to a corner to stare at a potted plant and hide his face as he wondered if Mark could have hurt her. His blood boiled as he thought of anyone ever taking a hand to Kathryn. Chakotay's anger caused him to instinctively snap around and adopt a defensive posture in response to a tap on the shoulder. "Sorry, Doctor, you startled me. How's Captain Janeway?"

The doctor gave him a pat on the back before he led Chakotay to a sofa and they sat. "Relax, she's fine. She was dehydrated and obviously hadn't eaten for quite a while and her blood sugar was very low. We're giving her an electrolyte infusion now and she should be ready to go home in about fifteen minutes. Apparently she was upset about some personal problems, didn't handle it well and you saw the result."

Chakotay was only somewhat relieved. "I see. Doctor, her head, did she hit it again, did… did anyone hurt her?"

"No, no, she's fine. In fact, if there is anything good to come of this, the rest did her some good and her brain scan was completely normal and she's not complaining of a headache and was alert once I revived her. A few days of rest and she should be good as new, however she has to take it easy for a day or two and it's imperative that she eat at least three meals a day. I'll check her again on Monday and, considering she's had some issues with depression before, I'm going to have a counselor speak with her then too." The doctor stood and shook Chakotay's hand. "Good thing you brought her in, but please don't make a habit of it, OK? Just wait here, I'll send her out when we're done, shouldn't be more than ten or fifteen minutes. Oh, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone stay with her for a day or two, to make sure she eats, as she admitted herself she has a habit of skipping meals. Is there anyone that can do that, can you?"

Chakotay rubbed his chin. "Well, of course I can, but maybe it would be better if her sister could? No, wait, she told me she was home with a sick child and not feeling well herself. Maybe I can call…"

"No," the doctor interrupted, "Her immune system is depressed, I don't want her around anyone who's sick or has been exposed to someone who is."

"OK, don't worry, I'll stay with her until I can get someone else, maybe her mother or something. Don't worry, I'll work it out."

"Good enough, I'll leave her in your capable hands. Goodbye, Commander, and please see if you can keep Captain Janeway out of here, will you?"

Chakotay shook his head and laughed, "Where have I heard that before?"

Kathryn came out of the treatment area fifteen minutes later. She looked pale and was walking slowly, but seemed fine otherwise. Chakotay rose and offered her his arm. "Well, you certainly look better!"

Kathryn rubbed her forehead and gave him a confused stare. "Chakotay, I didn't realize it was you that brought me in, I thought it was... Oh, gosh, I'm fine, just got myself a little run down and out of sorts I guess. Come on, all I want to do right now is go home, have something to eat and take a hot shower."

When they materialized back at Kathryn's house she immediately went to the kitchen to make coffee. Chakotay grabbed the coffee from her and pushed her down in a chair at the kitchen table. "You sit and let me, I do know how to make coffee you know, and I'm also going to fix you something nutritious to eat. Kathryn, why don't you go and call your sister? The reason I came over was because she couldn't reach you and was worried and asked me to check on you. Go call her and I'll fix you something to eat, OK?"

Kathryn nodded and went into the den to call Phoebe. While she was gone Chakotay made a light lunch and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen sink, which looked like it had been there for days. Kathryn returned and opened the windows before she sat down. "Sorry, I know I smell worse than I did when we got back from the Kazon marooning us on planet hell. I'll go take a shower as soon as I eat. Oh, this is delicious, thank you. Oh, and Phoebe said to say thank you too." Kathryn took several sips of coffee, sat it down and slid her hand across the table to touch Chakotay's. "I want to say thank you too and I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble again."

He pushed their palms together and laced his fingers with hers. "Kathryn, it was no trouble, I was glad I could help. Look, I know things have changed between us, but I hope we can always be friends. I'll be here for you whenever you need me, always."

Kathryn gave his hand a squeeze and let go. "Always, Chakotay, and you know you can call me if you need me." They finished their food in silence before Kathryn spoke again as she started to clear the table. "I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened, I just got upset and didn't eat and, next thing I knew, I was too weak to get out of bed… and I didn't really care."

He poured her more coffee and sat down. "It's OK, I understand, and you don't need to explain. Kathryn, the doctor said you should have someone stay with you for a couple days and it shouldn't be your sister because she's sick. Could your mom come or maybe some other friend or relative? I'd be glad to stay, but I'm sure you'd be more comfortable with someone else."

Kathryn rubbed her face as she thought. "No, Mom left this morning to go visit her sister on Bajor and my grandma isn't well enough to come and, gosh, I don't know who to call."

Chakotay debated, but finally asked, "What about Mark?"

"No, he went to a conference on Organia and won't be back until Saturday." Kathryn finished her coffee and got up from the table. "I'm going to go take a shower, I'll try to think of someone, maybe the hot water will clear my head? Just make yourself at home and I'll be right back."

Chakotay cleaned up the kitchen and tidied the rest of the house as best he could while waiting for Kathryn. When she finally came down the stairs he stood and smiled. "You sure look better, how do you feel?"

She grabbed a PADD on the way to the sofa, sat down and put her feet up on the coffee table. "I'm fine, just a little ragged around the edges, that's all." She sprang back up. "It looks like it's nice outside, I think I want to sit by the pool and let the sun dry my hair. Come with me?"

"Of course, Kathryn."

She went out the back door, sat on the edge of the pool and put her legs into the water as she activated her PADD. "Oh, this is nice! Take your shoes and socks off, roll up your pants and join me! I'm going to look through here and see if I can find someone to baby sit me so you don't have to."

Chakotay sat and put his legs in the pool too. "You're right, this is nice. Kathryn, I don't mind staying with you and it's no problem, it's just that I thought maybe you'd be more comfortable with someone else, that's all. I just need to know so I can call my assistant and have her teach for me tomorrow. I told them up front I'd need to take a day off here and there for Starfleet obligations and," he giggled, "I think you qualify as a Starfleet obligation of sorts, don't you?"

Kathryn shared his laugh. "Yes, I suppose technically I do. I really haven't had the chance to catch up with hardly anyone since I got back and I don't have a large family, but I'll see who I can find. I know, I can call my cousin in Chicago, I'll be right back!" Kathryn returned about fifteen minutes later, sat back down and tossed her PADD aside. "Well, she doesn't live in Chicago anymore and she was due to have a baby four days ago, so she's not coming. I tried a couple other people, but I couldn't find anyone. It's OK, I feel fine, I'm sure I'll be alright by myself."

Chakotay shook his head. "I don't know, Kathryn, the doctor said you should have someone to stay with you. Did you try anyone from Voyager?"

"No, and I'm not going to. They're on leave and, anyhow, I'm not about to ask a member of my crew to come baby sit me. I'll be just fine, I'll call my sister every couple hours and check in." Kathryn ran her fingers through her hair and shook it out. "Wow, almost dry! Your hair is getting longer, Chakotay, it looks good."

"Thanks, I thought I'd let it grow until I have to cut it when my leave is up. How about I hang around and keep an eye on you and I'll go home at night if you wouldn't be comfortable with me in the house? I'm right next door, I can be here right away if you need me and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind taking tomorrow off as I still have a mountain of journals to go through. You just yawned again, why don't you take a nap and I'll go home and call the university and bring my work over and do it in your den?"

"OK, I've practically been asleep for three whole days and I don't know why, but I am a little tired. Give me a hand up?"

Chakotay pulled her to her feet and accompanied her up the stairs. "Your room's a mess, let me help you get it cleaned up and I'll put fresh sheets on the bed. Here, it's a nice day, let's open the windows to let the room air out, it's stuffy in here. Do you have some clean sheets?" Kathryn nodded and left the room to get them, so Chakotay pulled everything off the bed and tossed all the towels and clothes strewn about the room in the pile. When Kathryn returned Chakotay stopped her before she got into the room. "Kathryn, do you have a guest room? Maybe you should take your nap in there?"

She stepped around him. "Yes, but why, what's wrong? I have clean sheets here, it won't take me but a minute to make up the bed."

Chakotay tried to take her arm to lead her to the guest room. "Nothing, I just think it would be better if you used your other bed. Go on, I'll take care of everything in here, OK?"

"No, it's not OK, I want to sleep in my own bed!"

"You can't, Kathryn, it's… well…. Kathryn, it's wet"

"What?" she shouted as she finally dodged him and examined the mattress. "Oh my gods, it is wet and it smells, I must have wet the bed! I haven't done that since I was little!" Kathryn put her face in her hands. "Oh, gods, how embarrassing!"

Chakotay put his arm around her shoulder and finally managed to get her into the guest room. "Don't worry about it, you were sick, it happens." He turned down the guest bed. "Go on, take your nap here. I'll go home and take your laundry and do it and replicate something to clean the mattress and I'll take care of everything. Go on, lie down and rest. Please?"

She finally relented and crawled into bed. "Thanks again, I'm sorry I'm such a burden. Why don't you just go home? You don't have to do this you know."

He tucked her in and smiled. "I know, I'm here because I want to be, not because I have to be. Here's your comm badge, I'll get mine when I get home and promise me you'll call if you need anything. Promise?" He touched Kathryn's hand lightly and discovered she was already asleep.

Chakotay searched the house for more dirty laundry and found plenty. He couldn't find a laundry basket, so he threw everything into the center of a sheet, carried the bundle home, sorted it and tossed a load in his machine. He called his assistant and she was happy for the chance to teach his classes the next day, so that was one problem solved. Chakotay replicated something to clean the mattress, took care of that, checked on Kathryn and went home to put in another load of laundry. For more than an hour he ran between the two houses, doing laundry, cleaning up and replicating food that would be good for Kathryn to eat as her kitchen was once again pretty bare. When all the laundry was done, he took it back in his baskets, sat it on her bed and starting sorting it out into neat little piles.

"Wow, I'll have to get sick more often!" Kathryn said as she walked into the room. "I can't believe this, you did all the laundry, cleaned up, made the bed and everything! Thank you so much, you didn't have to do all that."

"Not a problem, I was glad to do it. How do you feel?"

She started putting away the laundry. "Thanks again, I feel just fine. Chakotay, I feel bad that you did all this and I really am OK now, so why don't you go home? Really, you've done more than enough and I feel awful taking up your time. I can get this put away."

He handed her a stack of towels. "OK, but let me vacuum before I go. I couldn't find your vacuum cleaner, where is it?"

Kathryn put the towels away in the bathroom and started putting away clothes in her dresser. "I don't have one, so don't worry about it. Go on, go home, I mean it!"

"Well, OK. Oh, I replicated you some of those protein shakes, I put them in the fridge. What about dinner, would you like to come over for dinner or I could fix something and bring it here. How about we order Chinese?"

Kathryn stopped, ran her hands through her hair and thought for a few moments before she spoke. "No, Chakotay, I don't think that would be appropriate, us having dinner together, I mean."

Chakotay turned and looked out the window so she wouldn't see the tears he wasn't sure he could hold back. "OK, I see, I guess you're right. Well, I'll be home if you need anything." He knew he was about to lose it, so all he could manage to say was, "See you later," before he bolted from the room and ran home.

After dinner he called Kathryn, but she didn't answer, so he went and knocked on her back door, thinking it would be best if he checked on her. He had to knock twice, but she finally answered the door. Chakotay held out his hand and smiled. "Here, I found a sock on the floor in my laundry room, it must be yours and I dropped it. Sorry."

"Thanks, hold on," she replied as she closed the door and quickly returned. "Here's your laundry baskets, thanks again."

"You're welcome," he replied as he took them from her. "Did you have dinner?"

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm talking to my sister on the comm link, so I have to go. Goodnight and thanks again," Kathryn said as she shut the door.

Chakotay went home and reached for a beer before he remembered his promise to his sister and made a pot of tea instead. He sat out on the back deck and drank it as he thought about the day. He was thankful Kathryn's sister had called and felt bad that he didn't know what shape Kathryn was in and hadn't bothered to check on her, but wondered why he should have. He also wondered what had happened to put Kathryn in such a state and couldn't help but think that maybe Mark somehow had something to do with it. He knew Kathryn well and was certain she wouldn't put up with any man that would abuse her, much less have been engaged to one, so the whole thing just didn't make sense. The only thing he was certain of was that she had obviously moved on and probably didn't have a place in her life for him anymore.

Chakotay finally dumped out the rest of the tea, went upstairs and took out the box of cards, notes and mementos he had saved from his seven years with Kathryn on Voyager to look through them. There were birthday and Christmas cards, pictures, little notes, souvenirs from some of their shore leave trips together and other little things that had meant so much to him at the time. When he was finished he carefully placed everything back in the box, put it in the waste basket and cried himself to sleep.

The next morning Chakotay awoke at sunrise and went for a run before he showered, dressed and made breakfast. He had made some blueberry muffins and knew Kathryn loved them, but he debated taking some to her. He knew she hated to get up early and seldom did when she didn't have to, so he had another cup of coffee and waited another half hour before he took the muffins over and lightly knocked on her back door.

She opened the door and was still in her bathrobe, but she looked good and had a smile on her face. He handed her the muffins as he said, "Good morning, I made blueberry muffins and thought you'd like some. Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Good morning and thank you. No, I haven't, I just got up a few minutes ago."

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

Chakotay rocked on his heels as he tried to think of something to say. "That's good, you look much better."

"Thanks, I'm fine, really."

"Well, OK, I just thought I'd bring you the muffins and make sure you were OK and say hi, that's all. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"OK, well, I guess I'll go home. I'm not going to go to work today so just let me know if you need anything."

Kathryn smiled a little. "Thank you, I will, and thanks again for the muffins, they smell good."

Out of things to say and feeling more than a little bit awkward, Chakotay said, "OK, have a good day," as he turned to leave.

"You too, " Kathryn replied as she shut the door. She opened it again and called out, "Chakotay, would you like to come in, for coffee?"

He stopped and turned back to face her, but didn't look up. "I don't know, Kathryn, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea, you know."

Kathryn stepped out onto the patio. "Please, I think we should talk, Chakotay, we really need to talk."

"OK," he reluctantly replied, "I guess we do." He sat at the table as Kathryn poured him a mug of coffee and placed the pot on the table beside the muffins. "Thanks, smells good, you really do make good coffee."

"If nothing else," she joked as she put the sugar on the table for him. "Have you had breakfast, would you like anything?"

He spooned sugar into his coffee and stirred it. "No, thanks, I've been up for a while and I already ate." He kept stirring his coffee and waiting for Kathryn to say something, but she didn't, so he finally broke the silence. "Kathryn, I think being neighbors is going to be awkward, so I decided last night I'm going to call Mrs. Westerman's daughter this evening and see if I can sublet the house and move. I really like it here, but I think that maybe that would be the best thing to do."

"Chakotay, I know you love your house and, aside from Wentworth, it really is nice here in Primrose Acres and we have our privacy, so I'd really hate to be the cause of you moving. Perhaps you should reconsider? I know there will be a period of adjustment, but I'm sure we can work it out. You did say you had an option to buy at the end of your lease and intended to, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but that was before."

"Before what?"

"Before you got back together with Mark. I know I have no right to say this, but it's difficult for me to see you with another man, Kathryn. I want you to be happy and I'm sure I'll eventually adjust, but it's very difficult for me right now." He took a sip of coffee. "There, I said it, and I am being honest that I do want you to be happy and wish you all the best with Mark."

Kathryn laughed. "Mark? What ever gave you the idea that I was back together with Mark?"

He grinned and stared down into his coffee. "I'm sorry, but I was nosey and read the note, the note in the flowers he sent you. I know you were with him Friday night, you didn't come home that night and I saw you come home in the same dress with him over at your house the next day. You don't have to be Tuvok to figure that one out, Kathryn." Chakotay thought about the times Kathryn had called him Mark, how much that had hurt him and started to mention them, but decided not to as she was confused at the time, obviously wouldn't remember them and, therefore, it would just upset her. He finally tried to think of it as a compliment because he knew she cared deeply for Mark and was going to marry him, so, if his care of her reminded her of that, it was a good thing. Chakotay finally looked up and made eye contact. "I know it was invading your privacy and I'm sorry."

"Chakotay, oh boy do you have it wrong! Mark is happily married and, I assure you, there's nothing going on. Yes, we're still good friends and he sent me flowers when I had my accident and yes, I was with him Friday night. Chakotay, it was his parents' 60th wedding anniversary and I went to the party and so did my mother and my sister and her family as we've all been friends with his family for a long time. I had a little too much to drink at the party and was tired and knew I shouldn't drive home from the beaming station in town, so I spent the night at my mother's house. That was my brother-in-law that came back with me to mow the grass the next day, not Mark; Mark's never even been here. I can see where you made the mistake, the two of them do look like they could be brothers. Oh, Chakotay, you really thought I was dating Mark?"

He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, I did."

Kathryn laughed until her smile turned into a blank stare. "Oh my gods, I ruined it didn't I? You thought I was dating Mark so you started dating someone." She put her hand on his and smiled. "It's OK, Mrs. Wentworth told me, I know you're dating someone from the university."

"What? No, no, I'm not! I only told her that because she wanted to hook me up with her daughter!"

"Chakotay, you don't need to lie to me. I saw her, heard you two carrying on in the hot tub like a couple of kids and I know she spent the night. It's OK, she's gorgeous and I don't blame you one bit. I messed up and I…"

"No!" Chakotay interrupted, "I'm not dating anyone, I swear!" He ran his hands through his hair as his confusion turned to a silly grin. "Oh, yes, now I understand. Kathryn, that was my sister Suleya. I was all upset about you and she beamed over and spent the night so I wouldn't drink myself into a coma. She doesn't drink at all and has a fit when I do, thinks I'll end up crazy like our grandfather."

"Your sister?"

"Yes, my sister. Tall, dark hair, lighter skin than mine and really pretty. Kathryn, that's my sister!"

Kathryn laughed until her sides started to ache. "Oh, I can't believe it! You thought I was dating Mark, or my brother-in-law, and I thought your sister was your girlfriend from work. Wentworth said you were dating someone and I believed her and then I saw your sister and that's why I got so upset. Oh, Chakotay, I'm so sorry!"

He took her hand again. "No, I'm sorry, I caused you to get so upset and sick, didn't I?"

"No, I brought all that on myself. I was so upset I thought you had moved on that I just couldn't deal with it. None of it would have happened if I'd bothered to talk to you, so it's all my fault. Dammit, I practically cried myself into a coma for nothing!"

"No, it's my fault, I didn't bother to talk to you either and I got my nose all out of joint when I thought you were interested in someone else. Kathryn, when I thought I'd lost you I couldn't deal with it either. Come here and let me give you a hug."

Kathryn slid her chair over and the two hugged for more than a minute as they cried and rubbed one another's backs. Kathryn wiped her face on the hem of her bathrobe, sat back in her chair and took a long sip of coffee. "So, we both jumped to conclusions, didn't bother to talk to each other and now we've both had a good cry!"

He took her hands and smiled. "So we did! Kathryn, I want you to know I love you and always will and I hope that you can forgive me and we can be friends again."

She squeezed his hands and smiled. "Of course we can! Chakotay, you're my best friend and I just couldn't deal with the thought that I'd lost you, that's why I overreacted and got so upset. I didn't try to kill myself, but I just felt like I wanted to die and rolled up in a ball in my bed and hoped that I would. I don't think I'd had such a feeling of loss since my father died and I just couldn't cope with it. I love you too and I need you, so I guess the question is, where do we go from here?"

"Out to dinner?" he asked with a mischievous little smile.

Kathryn returned his smile. "Yes, that would be fine, but I think maybe I should wait a day or two, even though I feel OK. If nothing else, I think my stomach shrank and I can't eat much at one time without feeling nauseous yet. Don't worry, I feel fine and I'll be back to eating normally in a couple days. How about Saturday night?"

"It's a date!" Chakotay said with a smile. "Isn't it?" his dimples asked, just to be certain.

"Yes, Chakotay, it's a date, a real old fashioned date. In fact, it'll have to be old fashioned because you'll have to pay for dinner, but I'll make it up to you after the first of the month when I get paid."

"OK, that's fair. Kathryn, it's a wonderful day and much warmer than yesterday, so why don't we go swimming? Have you tried out the new diving board yet?"

She split the last of the coffee between their two mugs. "No, I haven't. To be honest I haven't been in the pool since my accident and I don't know that I'm up to swimming laps, but I suppose I should confront my fears and get in the pool, shouldn't I?"

Chakotay smiled and took her hand. "Yes, you should, and I'll be right there with you, so you know you'll be safe and nothing will happen. Let's spend some time in the pool, lie in the sun to dry off and then you can come over and I'll fix you some lunch and you can go home and take a nap afterwards and let's order Chinese food for dinner."

"OK, that sounds great! I still haven't seen your house and I'd like to. Just leave the dishes for now, go change and I'll meet you by the pool in fifteen minutes. No, make that twenty, I need to call my sister and let her know I'm still alive and see if she is."

Chakotay arrived at the pool ready for a swim, but knew Kathryn's fifteen or twenty minutes was more likely to be at least a half hour. He inspected the new diving board, jumped up and down on it several times and decided it had been properly installed and was safe. With nothing else to do, he rooted through the storage locker near the pool and discovered a huge collection of pool toys the previous homeowners had left, everything from a huge raft that would hold two adults to cute little Flotter horseshoe shaped swim rings for kids.

"I think you're a little old for that, Chakotay!" Kathryn giggled as she made her appearance and caught him trying on a Flotter swim ring for size. "It does kind of fit, so feel free to borrow it, but let me go get my camera first so I can take a picture, sell it to the tabloids and pay off my house! Can you imagine what they'd pay for 'Chakotay's Flotter Fetish'? "

He quickly shoved it back in the locker. "No, Tom would never let me live it down! How about this raft, want to share?" he suggested as he tossed it in the pool. You have all kinds of stuff in here, you can have your own if you want."

"No thanks," Kathryn replied as she took off her robe, tossed it on a chaise, grabbed the Flotter ring and slipped it around her waist. "I think I'll just stick with a trusty old friend. Besides, it hides my middle. Thank you, Flotter!" Kathryn said as she gave his head a squeeze and giggled as the toy squeaked in response. She descended the stairs into the pool and sat on the top one.

Chakotay joined Kathryn and sat down on the step beside her. "Kathryn, you don't need that silly thing, you look fine. I know I said some awful things about the way you look before and I'm really truly very sorry. I didn't mean them, you look fine. You've always taken good care of yourself and it shows and I think you're beautiful."

She gave him a little grin. "Thanks, but I think I'll keep Flotter, just in case. I had one of these when I was little, so it makes me feel better about being in the pool. Well, almost in the pool. I think I need to sit here and get up my courage as I don't feel very comfortable about this right now."

Chakotay slid a little closer and took Kathryn's hand. "If you don't feel like doing this, you don't have to. I checked out the new diving board and it's safe and I'll stay right with you if you want, but maybe it's too soon? You're the most strong, fearless and amazing person I know, but you almost died in this pool and it's perfectly alright if you don't want to get in it yet. Just promise me that, when you do for the first time, you'll let me be here with you."

Kathryn stood, took off the pool toy, gave it a shove towards the deep end and walked out to where the water was waist high. Chakotay moved to join her, but she said, "No, stay there, I need to do this, just so I can get over it and know that I can." She ducked under the water, swam a few strokes and came back. "So far so good," she said as she came back and got out of the pool. Chakotay went to follow her, but Kathryn put her hands on her hips and stared him down. "Stay there, I have to do this!"

Kathryn went to the other end of the pool, walked to the end of the diving board and gave it a few test bounces. Chakotay stayed seated on the step at the far shallow end as he nervously watched her, for it was one of the few rare occasions in which he saw fear in Kathryn Janeway's eyes. She went back to the other end of the diving board, stood, took a few deep breaths and started for the end, but stopped short and bounced a few more times. She repeated this twice again and, the next time, finally dove into the pool rather ungracefully. Chakotay stood and watched as she swam a few strokes underwater, came to the surface and began to flail as she tried to tread water. He immediately jumped in from the stairs and started for her, but she shouted, "No, I'm fine, go back!" before she started struggling to swim to the shallow end of the pool. Chakotay backed up to the steps, but remained in the water in case he had to go rescue her.

Slowly Kathryn swam to the shallow end of the pool, her determination increasing with each stroke. As she reached the end, Chakotay stood, took a step or two and held out his arms to meet Kathryn as she swam into them. He picked her up and twirled her around in the water as he hugged her. "You did it, Kathryn!"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kicked her legs, splashing them both as Chakotay sat down in the water, with Kathryn on his lap. "Yes, I did! It scared me, but I did it! I saw you there and I was determined to dive in and swim to you and I knew I could do it, that you would give me the courage and be there waiting for me."

"Always, Kathryn," Chakotay said as he cradled her in his arms and held her tight. "Always."

Kathryn brushed Chakotay's hair off his face and smiled. "You have always been there for me, haven't you?" She reached up and kissed him on the lips. "Thank you, Chakotay, for everything, I love you."

"You're welcome, I love you too," he replied as he leaned down to kiss her, however she squirmed away, slid off his lap and splashed him in the face before he could. He stood and splashed her back. "What, I don't get to kiss you?"

"Sure you do, but you'll have to catch me first!" Kathryn shouted as she took off down the pool.

Chakotay put his hands on his hips and protested, "No fair, you know you can swim twice as fast as I can!" Kathryn showed no signs of giving in, so he dove off the steps and went after her.

That evening after dinner Kathryn and Chakotay settled into his hot tub to enjoy the rest of the wine by moonlight and cap off a day that didn't start well, but ultimately ended well. Kathryn nestled into Chakotay's arm as she sipped her wine, sat it on the side of the hot tub and said, "Thanks for dinner, Chinese food was a great idea and I really do like your house."

"You're welcome, Kathryn. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I was very happy to see you finally got your appetite back."

"I really enjoyed today too and thank you for helping me conquer my fear and go swimming again, but I have one question?"

"What's that?" Chakotay asked as he sat his wine down and wrapped his other arm around Kathryn.

"When did you learn to swim like that? On New Earth I could get all the way across the river before you'd barely passed the rocks in the middle. I know I've been sick, but you swam like the proverbial fish and kept catching me."

Chakotay looked down into her eyes and smiled. "That's easy to explain. Back on New Earth I never got to do this if I caught you," he replied as he pulled Kathryn to him and kissed her.

THE END

06/10/08