Gene's Adventures
Disclaimer's
We don't own any anime mentioned in this fic
This is supposed to be funny
This is an experiment a friend and me though would be a good fic.
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
The Mishap on the Outlaw Star.
"Outlaw Star your cleared to leave Heifong City Spaceport." The Control Tower operator said via radio.
"Roger that control." Gene Starwind said tightening his gloves. He turned to his Navigator, Melfina. "Mel, what's the situation?"
Melfina looked at him through the tube she used to interface with the computer; her voice came through the cockpit radio, "All systems green. We can launch at anytime."
Jim looked back at Gene, "Aniki are you sure that you can find the Galactic Leyline."
Gene fumed over that remark. "Of course we can find it, although don't know how." He snapped then added. "Relax and have some fun."
As the Outlaw Star cleared the atmosphere Gene went through the various (tedious) discussion about the Either and where they're going with Gilliam and Melfina. After a hearty discussion and some powerful drink it was decided to take the "safe" way to Gilliam III who was to have a sage that could tell where the Leyline should be. Gene plopped down in the pilot chair. "Prepare the sub-Either drive...on my mark, MARK!!!"
As the ship started to breach the sub-either barrier. Warring sirens went off as the ship started to rock. "Gene there is something wrong in Sub-Either engines." Gilliam said.
"Right! I'm shutting off the engines now." He groaned as he turns the key shutting off the engines. Damn it I just got started and the engines had to screw up. He though as the engines slowly shut down.
Jim picked up some sort of a energy surge coming up to gene's chair. He turned around to warn him, "Aniki look out there's a weird energy surge coming to you."
"There's no time Jim" Gilliam said as the surge hit Gene full force.
Gene yelled in pain when the energy surge hit him. After several seconds he disappeared. Jim panicked and yelled, "ANIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"…
Gene woke to find himself not on the Outlaw Star! "What in the hell hit me." He got up and looked around to see where he was. He was on some kind of small dirt path broad green leaves shaded him from the average yellow sun. As he sat there shaking his head and trying to get the cobwebs out, a tall, black haired boy runs by. "Hey!" Gene called but the boy didn't even turn around just kept running at full speed with some tools over his shoulders. What an ass Gene thinks. He begins to walk down the path in the opposite direction of the arrogant kid.
A little later Gene was startled when a little creature that was about the size of a Rabbit and had the ears and even a fluffy tail popped out of some bushes. "Meow." it said.
Looking at the weird creature, "What the hell?" The cabbit becomes a girl and walks up to Gene begins to do the itse bitsy spider went up the waterspout. "Meow, meow, meow, meow…MEOW, meow, meeeeoooooooowwwwwww." Gene falls down and the girl begins to laugh.
Gene gets a little pissed and pulls out his caster and points it at the little girl. "You think that's funny huh." The girl hair spikes "MEOW!!" runs up and gives Gene a hug. Gene gets a little scared; the girl begins to squeeze all the air out of him. Gene points his caster. "Get away from me!! You're crushing my ribs."
The Girl begins to cry louder and louder she begins to push all the air out of Gene's lungs. Gene suddenly feels sorry; "I'm sorry"
Girl looks up: "Meow?"
Gene pats her on the head "Do you forgive me?"
Girl nodes enthusiastically "MEOW." She runs off somewhere.
Gene looks confused but a little relived and turns around to find himself face to face with a woman with natural silver hair.
"Who are you?" She asks?
"Babe I'm your dream man Gene Starwind." Gene says flirtatiously. Grinning his "winning" grin.
Ryoko looks him up and down, "You haven't seen a young boy run by here have you?"
Gene gets a little annoyed, What's wrong with this chick wants the boy and not me?? What the HELL is going on? "If you mean a stuck up looking brat that ran by, yeah he went that way." Gene points in the direction that Tenchi went.
Ryoko stiffens, "WHAT did you just SAY?"
Gene thinks for a moment: She must be sweet on him I had better be nice that way I might have a chance to score. "Uh… I meant that nice looking young man that went that way." And pointed in the direction the boy went.
Ryoko is also thinking: He's certainly cute enough but a pain…The princess should handle him and that would distract her as well. Ryoko become innocent "Forget about him." Taking Gene by the arm "You need to come with me…I have a surprise for you"
Gene lets himself be led by her "Hey babe I like surprises" When they get to the house Ryoko promptly dumps him in Ayeka's room. "What the hell?" Just then Ayeka steps out of the shower wearing her birthday suit.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ayeka screams and slaps Gene across the face.
Gene reacted by pulling out his caster to threaten her. "What the, some girl with gray hair just dropped me here. Domo ne?" Shit there goes my chance to score. He thought as he looked at the purple haired beauty. She might not be as well developed as the other one but she'll do.
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!!" She slaps him again. Completely ignoring the ancient weapon Gene's trigger finger is getting itchy and he might just shoot her. Even though his eyes where taking in every detail he could see. Ayeka was busy pondering a girl with GREY hair huh…Ryoko!!! "You turn around RIGHT now!" she said in her best Princess voice. When the colorful stranger complied she got a nice look at his butt. Nice. Ayeka through as she composed herself and then formed some clothes. "You may turn around now, and put up your weapon. I'm Royal Princess Ayeka of Juri" she put her hands on her hips and said very slowly (her temper was rising) "You…said…that…a…gray haired girl…put…you in here?"
Gene nodded. I think she's pissed. His observing was confirmed when he room started to shack and little crystals appeared everywhere. SHIT, I hate being right, Gene dived under a small table in the middle of the room when the roof started to collapse.
"I'll KILL her!!!" Ayeka screamed and the table was blown backwards leaving Gene exposed Gene was hanging on to the carpet for dear life. As the wind in the room picked up, then everything died and Ayeka grabbed him dragging him into the hall. "Miss Washu will deal with this rude stranger while I deal with a cretin bitch." Without further ado she threw him into a 2 dimensional door that was pitch black.
After Ayeka tossed him in there he fell.
"WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!" Gene shouted as he fell. Amazingly enough he landed on a soft chair and was immediately strapped in by constrictors around the waste and wrist. "What the hell!!!" he shouted, and his caster and blaster was removed from his waste "he, he, he, he that tickles. Not that I mind or anything but I barely know usually wait until we've talked for at least an hour. Before I start to..." Washu turns on a light reliving her young looking body, Gene just looked at her for awhile then just started to cry and whimpered, "Why do I always end up in some weird ass predicaments?"
Washu ignored all the strange man's complaints and was looking at some readings that she had taken of him. Human male age 20. She thought as she continued looking at the reading. Biometrics states that he's not from around here, even this universe. I had better take a few…samples.
Washu reaches into her various pockets. "Ah HA here we go takes out a Popsicle stick and turns around to the struggling Gene Starwind. "Now open wide."
Gene's eyes get REAL big as he sees the advancing Washu with stick in hand, even though Washu is doing her best innocent little girl smile. "THERE is NO way your going to stick that thing down my throat BITCH!!!"
Washu ignores him. "Now just open up," Gene keeps his mouth closes his mouth tightly. She sighs "I love corporative patients," she grabbed his nose and waits, after a minute and Gene's face goes blue, he opened his mouth to breath and found the Popsicle stick in his mouth.
Gene gives off some muffled curses which Washu pointedly ignored, "So young man I assume by you're your clothes that your not from around here."
"Blah, mu mph gerbern Stengev…"
Washu pulls the Popsicle stick out, "What?"
"I said that I'm from Sentinel 3, I'm not...OW!!!" Gene shouted when Washu inserted a needle into his arm, "You stupid bitch I'm going to shoot you when I get out of here!" He started to fight with the restraints on the chair.
"Now that's not nice," Washu chided pouring some powerful disinfectant on a cloth. "This will make it all better and she brutally slapped it one the needle wound
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Gene began to thrash in the chair as the nerves died, then it went away, he turned his head seeing red, and glared at Washu who ignored him. She put the container with HIS blood in a machine and read the results on a huge computer screen. The letters and Zeros ment nothing to Gene as they flashed over the monitor, yet on Washu had no problems at all reading it apparently.
"I see, you are Gene Starwind pilot of most advanced ship in your Galaxy the Outlaw Star you reside in Universe 23-K7….hmmmmmmm you must have had dimensional problems in your last sub ether jump. And that's how you managed to end up here in Tenchi's house." She gave a little laugh, "Well this is easily fixable." When she finally turned around,
Gene was just staring at her in a daze on how much knowledge she held. How can a girl that young be that smart…Wait a minute my partner Jim is pretty smart for a kid as well.
"Oh now don't go worrying I'm going to go fix this shortly, you just run along and meet everybody." She touched a button on her wrist and Gene was released then immediately transported to the Kitchen. Along with most of his equipment
The kitchen under the careful eye of Sasami was filled with food boiling or waiting. When Gene smelled the sweetness of substance his stomach growled loudly. Gene glanced around fitfully. I guess Washu wanted me to eat before I left and this stew looks so GOOD. He walked over to the stove and seizing the biggest spoon he lifted the lid of the pot and took a big whiff. He agreed with his stomach and he began to dip in. That smile (think of the time that he was going to find out how human Melfina was) crossed his lips.
"WHAT do YOU think your doing!!?" a little girls voice shouted out from behind him. Gene started and dropped the spoon. He turned annoyed to face the speaker. Who was a girl about Washu's age was standing there she had doe eyes and long blue pig tails. She was standing in the door way tapping her foot, also looking annoyed.
"Good god girl, don't scare me like that." Gene snarled, "You interrupted me from getting my dinner." He smiled his winning smile. Suck up time. "I'm Gene Starwind and who is the beautiful young women I'm talking to?"
The girl wasn't impressed, "I'm the second princess of the planet Juri you may refer to me as MS. Sasami. AND you Mr. Gene Starwind are a rude and uncouth man."
"But-," Gene began.
"Get out of my kitchen!!!" She screamed.
Without a further ado see pushed him out the door and slammed it before his butt could clear it, the impact sent him face first into the deck. He got up in raged, "YEAH well BITE ME!!!!" he shouted at the door, then with his hands in his pockets he walked down a path.
After a little while of walking and listening to his stomach complain and feeling sorry for himself. When he heard two women voices up ahead, they where shouting and Gene never missing a cat fight ran forward to see what the commotion was.
After he climbed a small hill Gene came across a carrot field, finding Ryoko and Ayeka face to face screaming at each other. The power in the air made Gene's stand up on end. The air between crackled with energy, Gene was going to make himself comfortable when a small voice "Psst." From his left, Gene turned and saw the stuck up kid hiding behind a log. The kid motioned for him to come by him and then he ducked behind the log.
Gene shrugged, "That was a CRUEL thing to say pirate!" Ayeka yelled. Then she slapped Ryoko, Ryoko double slapped Ayeka. Ayeka screamed.
"Damn." Gene said, Just when it was getting good. He walked calmly over to the log, oblivious to the fact that the fight was heating up. When he got to the spot that Tenchi was hiding behind, the boy grabbed his arm and pulled him down. "What the hell was that for?" Gene snarled.
"Sorry, I'm Tenchi Masaki and I did that to keep your head from being fried." He covered his head as a blue lighting bolt went over his head.
"You're going to pay for that Princess!" Ryoko shouted and the ground shook. As well as a few trees.
"Are they always like this?" Gene asked from behind there bunker. "Oh yeah you can call me Gene Starwind."
"Yeah, usually…" A red lighting bolt landed a few meters past the bunker raining debris down on them, "But it's worse today for some reason." Tenchi said from under his hands.
"You ill-mannered BITCH!!!" Ayeka shouted, "How DARE you!!!!" Gene's hair spiked as a sudden rush of energy made every tree within a 300-foot radius about 5 feet high.
Both Tenchi and Gene hit the ground, Gene was annoyed again. "For god sake, SHUT UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He loaded a number 19 and pointed it between the girls. Please let it be a working one. He pulled the trigger, the shell flew out of the gun and landed right between the feuding women. When it hit the resulting explosion, blew everyone apart, Ryoko and Ayeka went flying in opposite directions while Gene tumbled end over end. While poor Tenchi was blown right into a rock, he hit with a thud and sank to the ground unconscious.
"Well what do you know, it worked!" Satisfied after that he turned to the women who were irate having been interrupted by Gene. That doesn't look good even though they do. He though as he put on a sheepish grin.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Ryoko screamed rising into the air. "You have some nerve to interrupt ME!!" She was breathing heavily, her eyes burned with fire.
The explosion had left around 50 foot crater in the farmland. The girls rushed Tenchi and begin to coddle him. "You killed him!" Ryoko (Ever the emotional one) Tears were welling up in her eyes and Gene's hair was spiking again. "You killed the only thing that mattered to me!!!! And I will make you PAY!!"
Gene reloaded. "Look babe you and your friend did this…I just separated the problem." He shrugged. "And the kid is breathing. He'll be fine just a bump on the head."
Ayeka conformed his reasoning. "Thank god he's right Ryoko. Look!" It was true and Ryoko seemed to calm down.
Gene was feeling like his only manly self and began to issuing instructions "Alright Ayeka go get Washu and I'll take Tenchi up with me. You can go to Ryoko." And he holstered his caster
Ayeka went running up the hill. Ryoko waited until Gene had Tenchi on his shoulders then disappeared. As Gene began to walk up the path, Tenchi's wait was lifted and Gene looked up and saw Ryoko flying above him. "I can carry him fine Ryoko…" Gene started. Then she kicked him in the chest. As strong as the space pirate was Gene went flying. But even as he landed Gene drew the caster and pointed at her "Now what the hell is your problem?" He snarled out. He sat up and slowly got to his feet, eyes never leaving Ryoko. Who laid Tenchi down carefully.
Ryoko disappeared and landed his on his caster…even though she obviously had strength the Gene felt no difference in weight. He quickly drew the blaster and pointed it right at her face. Ryoko lifted her hand, pointing it at him palm open. "And I'm going to be scared of that?" Gene said cockily.
Ryoko smiled and vanished. Leaving Gene very confused and hurting. He scratched his head and realized that Tenchi was reviving. "Hey man you okay?" Gene called.
Tenchi moaned a little but sat up and looked around. "Yeah…thanks for helping me." He got to his feet. "It would be embarrassing to rebuild the house…AGAIN." He laughed nervously. "Anyway I was down here for privacy and to take care of the garden…" He looked around. "You wanna help in getting what's left?"
Gene tried to get out of actual WORK at any time on any day surprised even himself. "Sure."
So they worked for awhile the field wasn't actually too bad. A lot of carrots where still good, but Gene was getting hot and sweaty. Man I wasn't this wet even with Helda…He smiled ruefully.
Gene glanced up at the clear blue sky. Wearily wiping sweat from his eyes, as he stood there in the hot sun some movement caught his eye. A tiny silver dot was moving around and it seemed to get bigger. "Hey Tenchi," Gene said tapping his new friend on the shoulder. "Tenchi…" the dot was getting bigger and bigger. "Tenchi there is something in the sky and it's getting bigger."
Tenchi glanced up. His eyes got real big. "Oh NO!" He shouted. "Come on Gene she's going to crash again!! And I'm betting right in the carrot field!" Tenchi took out for the log again.
"She...Crash… Again?" Gene was confused but with all the other weirdness coming around Gene was not going to argue. AS he followed the boy to the log Tenchi was behind it. Gene leaped over joining him in relative safety.
The dot had gotten to be quite large and the forest around them fell silent once again. Then with a ear-shattering explosion a space ship hit the ground and dust flew every where. Sonic booms followed the dust and the guys teeth rattled. After the engines of the craft had settled down, and apparently cooled off. Gene glanced over to Tenchi, he was going to ask another question. But Tenchi was crying and then he jumped up running madly toward the ship. "Mihoshi you…BLONDE why did you have to land in the patch?! Can't you see the destruction already? Look at the hole." Tenchi's trembling finger pointed at the crater made by the number 19. He continued to scream in a rage. "I can't believe that you keep wrecking your ship. WHY! WHY! I can't feed Ryo-Oki." He sank to his knees weeping.
Gene walked up slowly and put his hand on Tenchi's shoulder. Then the hatch of the ship opened. Out stepped a leggy blonde girl with big eyes and big tits. Daddy like…I wonder how much those things would jiggle Gene thought, eyeing Mihoshi's cleavage.
The Galaxy Police detective, pointed her gun at the Outlaw and said "Hands up!" She took one step down the ladder but ended up falling. She landed face first at Gene's feet. But she recovered quickly. Not to bright though.
"I said hands up!" Mihoshi said, after dusting her self off.
"Wait a second what did I do?" Gene said. Holding a hand up in an effort to ward off any cuffs, he glanced at Tenchi for support but the boy had faded away due to sock.
The blonde was not deterred. She pulled out a little pink cube, twisting it this way and that. "Oh how do I get those hand cuffs again?" She said more to her self then anyone else. Random items appeared. Half ate food, weapons and even a tiger striped bra that landed on Gene's head. Before Gene could get a sniff the bra was gone and Mihoshi had cuffs, she slapped them on his outstretched hand. Then as she moved behind him, she stopped. "I think I've forgotten something." She looked up at the sky and thought for a while. Then she checked her watch. "Okay, I've landed arrested Gene Starwind and told him…Oh that's it!" she laughed girlishly "Silly me. Gene Starwind you are under arrest for the murder of Sheen."
"But I don't know any 'Sheen'" Gene protested trying to free his arm. "Look go talk to Washu she will tell you my story."
"I'm sorry but according to Mr. Computer you are charged with murder in the first degree." She slapped the cuffs on his other hand. "Now then if you would follow me into the ship…"
That's when the cuffs fell off and Washu's voice said, "That's enough girl. This nice young man is innocent and he is coming with me." Washu snapped her fingers and Gene was suddenly a large white room with one chair and a control computer. "Now then all you have to do is sit in the chair and go home." Washu said calmly beside him.
"Great, I'll be glade to get out of this mess." And Gene rushed forward eagerly when he climbed into the metal chair, again the straps went on and he was held in secure. "Ummmmm…Washu not to doubt you but is this safe?" Gene was nervous again.
"Of course," Washu replied "I AM the best after all." And then she pressed a button. "The chair will break down your molecules and send them back to your home dimension…more specifically the Outlaw Star."
Gene began to scream as the light hit him. Pieces of him where beginning to brake up just before he went unconscious. He heard the "girl" say "Oops."