fal·ter \`fȯl-tǝr\
intransitive verb
1: to give way : totter
The tears dancing down her face reflected the soft light of her lamp as she breathed, silent but accepting. He sat on the corner of her bed, head in his hands, unsure but determined.
"This-" She held up a hand, and shook her head. The corners of her mouth quirked upwards just slightly as she looked up at him.
"This. Us. I'm glad, but..." He stared hard at her before scoffing and standing up.
"That's it?" She nodded, and he straightened up, taking a deep breath.
"I hoped that we..." but he stopped, gazing one last time into her eyes before looking down and striding out of the room. She closed her eyes, breathing deeper to keep the sobs at bay. She knew it was the right decision. She just wished he could see it.
~
2: to walk unsteadily : stumble
She stood behind the bookshelf, watching from a distance.
His posture was confident, his expression unreadable, but it was the little things that gave him away. His touch lingered longer when he ran his hand though his hair. His jaw clenched slightly tighter than usual. His fingertips curled inward toward his palm instead of hanging loosely by side.
He inhaled and glanced up, eyes locking with hers, before stalking out of Flourish and Blott's. He knew she had been watching him, but he didn't hide the signs of his anger. His hurt.
He wasn't giving up. She questioned.
~
3: to hesitate in purpose or action : waver
He stared at her door a full ten minutes before he even realized he was there. He pondered a way to stop it. Stop this. A break. They didn't need a break, he didn't need a break. His emotions were unstable at best and to put a halt to things right in the middle... They still clashed on just about anything, sure, but he slowly found himself caring less and less about the things they disagreed on and more and more about the fact that she was willing to argue them with him. Did that even make sense? Merlin, how was he going to convey any of this to her if he couldn't even–
"You've been standing at my door for fifteen minutes." He looked up. "You want to talk." She simply stated the obvious and walked away, leaving the door open for him to follow her inside.
~
4: to speak brokenly or weakly : stammer
She looked at him with an air of curiosity. He sat down and stared back, trying to gather his thoughts with what little time he had left. She nodded and retrieved some tea from the kitchen. Her stare continued as she sat down across from him, offering him a cup. He gladly took it, brought it to his lips and sipped. The warm liquid brought life back to his vocal chords which had felt like cardboard just moments before. Taking a deep breath, he set his cup down before peering back at her.
"It's been a month." She fidgeted and looked down before replying.
"Yes. How have you been?"
"You know very well how I've been. You saw me just last week." She glanced up and stilled at the gaze he was giving her, piercing and unnerving, but she refused to back down this time, meeting his eyes as she spoke.
"I already told you, I need a break. I – "
"That's not what you made it sound like." He stood. "I recall a certain finality to the tone you took, whether it was intentional or not. I understand–"
"No you don't!" She was standing now, and he froze. "If you understood, you wouldn't make this so hard for me!"
"The war is over."
"I know it's over, Draco! That's part of the problem. We've been fighting this damn war for so long I barely know how to live without it!" She paused. "I just wanted some time to myself for a bit. Some time to figure out where to go from here. I just... I just wanted to breathe. I forgot how to while you were around." He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, calling forth all the thoughts he'd had on her porch.
"I... This is hard for me, okay. I... I can't..." She stared at him expectantly. He gave a frustrated growl as he turned away from her. "I can't just stop in the middle of this. In the middle of us. You say you need time to figure out... well, to figure out whatever the fuck it is you're having problems with. But me... I can't..." He ran a hand through his hair and let out a long breath. "I can't do this."
She watched him walk out. Only after her door closed did the first tear fall.