So...this was supposed to be dark and angsty...that didn't really happen...
But it is fluffy! And fluff makes me happy.:)
I've been writing all day and I've gotten a few requests, so I'm working on those. It was a free day! It was nice:)
Ever since I wrote my one-shot, Sunday Morning, I've become addicted to writing like that. It never turns out well so that's why I don't have a lot of writing like that on here. But I'll put this one up in hopes that you'll like it!
Disclaimer: Degrassi? Nahhhhh.
You stand on one side of my recently cleaned room and I on the other. Neither of us step forward. We both awkwardly shift from one foot to another, crossing and uncrossing our arms, and letting out short breaths of warm air. And I swear, if you were standing a little bit closer, you'd hear the loud drumming from my heart. And because of that, I'm glad that you're standing so far away.
This wasn't just your ordinary day.
The candles that I had spread across my room light up your face, making you look even more like an angel. You keep looking down at your feet and I want you to look at me. I want you to say something, anything. Just anything to prove that this is happening. You chew on your lip repeatedly. I smile at that because you only bite your lip when you're nervous. And I'm glad that I'm not the only nervous one.
I make the first move and I tug at my black shirt. I can feel your eyes burning a hole into the top part of my body as I throw my shirt off lightly. You wait a couple of moments and you follow my lead. You pull off your shirt, leaving you only in a light pink colored bra.
The color is gentle. Like you.
I can't help but stare at your exposed skin. It's creamy and soft, even from where I'm standing. I can't help but think that my hands would fit around your curves perfectly, and that leaves me feeling excited. I feel like we're puzzle pieces that connect together.
I sigh and I continue to undress. I unzip my pants and I slowly slide them off, leaving me in my boxers. Your eyes widen slightly at the sight of me being half-naked in front of you. I want to laugh at your expression but I can tell that you're nervous enough as it is. You begin to unbutton your pants as well and you then slide them off, leaving you only in a pair of light pink panties.
Once I'm down to nothing and you're only down to your bra, I step a little closer to you. We're like magnets. I can't help but want to be connected to you in some way. Whether it be just holding hands or making love, it doesn't matter. I just need your touch. I need to feel the whisper of your breath in my ear and the feel of your nimble fingers on my body. I just need you.
But you know that, I tell you everyday.
I can see your fingers shake as they work with the hook on your bra. It takes a while, but your bra soon slides off your body.
I feel like all my limbs and organs are seperated. My heart and mind have their own different thoughts. My skin has goosebumps at the sight of you. My hand tugs at my hair weakly. And my eyes can't look away from you.
Your eyes shift around the room. A light blush begins to make its way across your already rosy cheeks. My mouth is dry and I stare intently at you. I have never seen anyone quite like you. And I honestly think that I never will. You're too special.
You're stunning. And I don't mean that in the Damn!-your-body-is-bangin'! way. I mean that in a way that I can't explain. I mean that in the purest way possible. I mean it in the way where I feel like you shine so brightly that we don't need the candles. That's how I mean it.
I know that you're nervous. Hell, I am too and it isn't even my first time. So, I walk closer to you and I can actually see your stomach rising and falling. I stop when I'm right in front you and you look at me with an expression that makes me weak in the knees.
"I'm naked." You whisper this and I smile because while the statement is true, it's also so innocent and blunt.
"And you look beautiful, Clare Edwards." I add and you blush madly and giggle nervously.
"Last name?" You ask cheekily and I can't help but admire you. Even when we're stand three inches away from each other, naked, you still find the time to add a comment.
"Yeah, well, I thought that it intensified the sentence." I shoot back and you giggle.
We stare shyly at each other and we both twiddle with our thumbs. You try to cover your body and I want to scream out in protest, but I want to do the same thing, so I keep quiet. I have done this before and it was with someone that I cared about, but now, I can't remember how I did it. I don't remember a lot as of right now. You could ask me my name and I'd come up blank.
"What do we do now?"
I lick my lips and I breath in deeply.
What do we do now?
That's a good question.
"I think that we go on the bed." I rasp out, finally answering. You nod and we awkwardly walk to my bed. I'm not sure if I put my arm around you. Would you get uncomfortable? Would you squirm away? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.
We both take a seat at the edge of my bed. You fold yourself so that you're wrapped inside your arms. The butterflies in my stomach increase as I look at your naked flesh.
You're perfect.
"Is it supposed to be this weird?" You whisper this shakily and I laugh quietly because you asked the question that had been going through my head.
"I think so."
I shyly glance at you and you're staring right back. Your eyes are shining with intensity and anxiety, leaving me breathless. Your eyes can capture me in the roughest moments. They're like jewels or they can even be compared to the sky.
I shift so that I'm facing you and I lean closer to you.
"Can I touch you?"
You nod silently and I bring my hand so that it's lightly touching your shoulder. You look down at it and you smile, letting me know that this is okay. I carress your arm tenderly and I lean even more closer to you. And this time, you move closer to me too.
You wrap your arms around my neck and your head nuzzles its way into the crook of my neck. I kiss your shoulder and my lips trail down to your collar bone. I hear you sigh and my heart lifts a little bit. I graze my hands on your back and I lightly push you down on the sheets that I had washed just for this occasion.
You fall back lightly and I slowly move so that I'm on top of you. I watch your expression intensly, making sure that there are no doubts and no regrets. And all I find is trust and anxiety.
I feel myself trembling above you. Thoughts are running through my head and I can't stop them. What if I'm not good enough? What if I hurt you? What if you don't enjoy it? What if-
"I love you."
I can feel my once rapid heart stop and freeze. My body goes rigid and I let out the breath that I was holding in. Those three words that you say can make me do anything. And I think you know that. Well, you should know.
I grab the condom off of the table beside the bed and I slowly roll it on. I even notice that you clenched your eyes shut and turned your head the other way. My hold back a laugh and lean above you once again.
"This is going to hurt." I say grimly, slightly hoping that you'll back down.
"I'd rather have you hurt me than anyone else."
I smile at that and kiss your cheek once more, and then I gently push inside of you.
I feel your resistence immediatly and I bow my head and I push all the way in.
Your sobs kill me. I want to stop what I'm doing and pull out. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the one that makes you cry. But I am. And I feel horrible. I hate when you cry, it's like hearing a child cry. It's heart breaking and I'd do anything to stop it. I squeeze my eyes shut and I press my lips to your forehead.
"I'm...ready." You say this softly and you choke on your words. I nod grimly and pull out and then push back in.
At first, I know that it's not comfortable for you, but as time passes I can see that it's getting better. Your nails dig into my back slightly and you pant, making me move faster.
I open my eyes for the first time and your eyes are staring at my face, as if memorizing every detail about it. I whisper your name and your eyes find mine. Your jewel eyes look back at me and you smile. You cling on to me tightly and I know right then that I won't ever feel this way about anyone else.
Your skin melts into mine and I can't think as I move faster. You intertwine our fingers and even though it sounds corny, I feel complete. I feel like everything could fall on us at that moment and I wouldn't care. I wouldn't mind because I have you. And I want to always have you.
Forever.
.
.
.
I feel your cheek rest on my chest and I grin at the sensation. Your body is close to mine and I can feel your heat. And I honestly don't think that it could get better than this. All I need is you and hopefully, maybe, you need me too.
You yawn lightly and you slowly nod off to sleep. But before you do, you pull me tighter against you and I feel your breath against my skin. This creates a feeling in my stomach that I've never felt before. It starts in my stomach and travels through my veins. I feel it spreading throughout my body and when it finally meets my brain I understand.
Clare Edwards, someday I'm going to ask you to marry me.
I did not like this. But then again, I never like anything that I write. I felt so much writers block when I wrote this.
BUT I had soooo much fun writing this. I loved adding the little awkward parts. ;)
I'm sorry, but I HAD to add that part at the end...my hopeless romantic came out. What can I say?
Review?