A/N 1: So this is my first foray into writing ClarDIS with the TARDIS as purely a ship so let's see how that goes.
A/N 2: If you want continuity between my fics I guess this takes place before both Catalyst and Aftermath.
October
"Oh, quit being such a baby," Clara snapped as she balanced precariously on the railing surrounding the console platform, attempting to hang a plastic bat to the underside of the upper walkway. The TARDIS let out a series of sharp beeps that could only be described as indignant. "You're just mad because the Doctor let it slip that it was close to Halloween on my time." The TARDIS beeped again and Clara could only guess the ship was still sticking the blame for this atrocity squarely on the human. Well, she was the one hanging the decorations.
She couldn't resist when she'd found the box sitting on her bed. Surely that was the Doctor's doing, so the blame really could be pinned on him. Part of it was just to mess with the old box, but she did also want to get into the spirit. Running around all of time and space is brilliant, but Clara does still miss Earth, especially around holidays. Even miniscule ones like Halloween.
"Gotcha!" she exclaimed as she finally managed to secure the bat in place. She grinned at the piece of plastic before carefully making her way down from the railing. She'd been surprised the TARDIS hadn't tried to throw her off the thing as soon as she'd set foot on the piece of metal. Maybe the ship realised sending Clara to a more-than-likely death, while satisfying, wouldn't have sat well with the Doctor.
Once the girl's feet hit the metal of the platform, she looked around admiring her handiwork. Black plastic bats hung around the upper platform while black and orange tinsel snaked around the railings. A few pumpkins, with rather simple faces, sat around the console itself, and a glowing skeleton hung above the double doors. It was the best she could do with the few decorations in the box. Not to mention the TARDIS whining every 5 seconds. Clara crossed her arms and smiled in approval. The TARDIS on the other hand let out an annoyed hum. Clara sighed and walked over to the console, placing her hands along the edge of it and looking at the TARDIS' blue core - it was the closest thing the box had to a face in her opinion.
"Are you honestly telling me, in all the time the Doctor has travelled with other companions, not one of them, ever, tried to decorate for the holidays?" Clara asked the ship. There was a pause before the TARDIS responded with a curt beep, Clara assumed to be a petulant 'no'. Clara raised an eyebrow and looked at the console. She suspected it was a lie, but having no real clue what the ship was saying, she couldn't call the box out on it. Clara sighed again and gave the console a quick pat. "Well, maybe you should give it a try," she replied as she turned to walk away.
The TARDIS shuddered, seeming to bristle with fury, and let out a loud, all too familiar clang. She should have seen it coming, but was still surprised when she went to move down the stairs, her foot didn't connect with metal but sunk into water. Her entire body followed with a yelp as she was, yet again, unceremoniously dumped into the swimming pool. Clara resurfaced with a cry of rage. She swam over to the side of the pool and hauled herself out of the water before heading straight back to the console room.
"Really?!" she cried towards the machine as water dripped from her clothes and hair onto the floor. The TARDIS hummed and let out a titter of high pitched beeps. Clara's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She stormed up the steps, pointing an accusing finger at the console. "You're laughing at me again." The TARDIS just continued to beep. With a cry of frustration Clara lashed out with a swift kick to one of the consoles panels. The TARDIS finally stopped beeping and let out a low, threatening thunk. Clara opened her mouth to throw an insult.
"Girls," the Doctor exclaimed as he ran in, interrupting the two's face off. He stopped and looked at Clara's drenched form. "What happened?" he asked warily. Clara pointed towards the console.
"Ask her!" The girl then turned and stomped off towards her room to dry off. "Cow," she muttered as she headed down the corridor. The Doctor turned to the TARDIS who was humming innocently. He sighed.
"Can't you two just get along?" The TARDIS remained quiet. He shook his head and took a look around the room. "Well, at least it looks festive." The TARDIS whirred and a quick gust extinguished the pumpkins. The Doctor nodded. "Of course."
xxx
December
"You're seriously going to whine about Christmas?" Clara exclaimed exasperated, as she hung a blue bauble from the railing. The TARDIS let out a long drawn out whine in response. Clara smirked as she finished with the bauble. "First Halloween, now Christmas," she said as she leaned into the box and pulled out some green tinsel, "You're really not going to celebrate any holiday are you?" The TARDIS beeped crankily as Clara weaved the tinsel around a couple of levers.
Clara sighed and stood back, taking in her hard work. Blue coloured baubles of various shades adorned the railings, while red and green tinsel twisted its way along the edge of the console, the controls and around the metal poles. Even a small tree with a glowing star on top sat by the doors. Clara smiled.
Another box of decorations had found its way onto her bed shortly after the Doctor had mentioned it was December on Earth if Clara's time on the TARDIS was added from when she left - it had been very confusing trying to keep up with his time babbling, so she had just nodded in agreement. She was positive this was his attempt to get her and the TARDIS to spend time together. She was trying her hardest but the old box was having none of it.
"Come on TARDIS," Clara whined as she leant on the console. "It's really not that bad and it won't be for very long," the girl said trying to appease the machine. "Plus, you look great, if I do say so myself." She could swear the lighting darkened a bit there. "What do you say?"
There was a pause that seemed to stretch out in agony. Then there was a short hum before the console flipped every lever that had tinsel on it so the decorations catapulted towards Clara. The girl had no defence and was hit squarely in the face with a shower of glittering metal foil. Clara remained perfectly still as the tinsel fell to the floor, trying to remain calm.
"That's it!" she cried, eyes snapping open to stare at the core with barely contained fury. "I give up," she exclaimed, raising her hands in surrender. "I tried to get along with you and do something nice for you and the Doctor, but if you're going to throw it in my face then I quit." Clara grabbed one of the spare baubles from the box if decorations and threw it at the core, the tiny object shattering when it hit.
"Merry Christmas, you grumpy old cow." Clara turned and stormed off down the stairs, narrowly missing shoving the Doctor as he managed to dodge her on his way in. The Time Lord watched his companion go before turning to face the console with a bewildered look on his face. When the TARDIS whined sadly he sighed. He walked up the stairs and gave the console a quick pat.
"What am I going to do with you two?"
xxx
February
"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Clara said tiredly as she staggered out of her room. "Calm down," she yawned, rubbing her eyes to try. When she opened her eyes she was met with nothing but blackness. She frowned half wondering if her eyes were actually open. "TARDIS?" she questioned worriedly. The ship hummed.
"Trust me little one. Head for the console room."
A faint light flickered further down the corridor indicating her direction. Clara shrugged and headed towards the light, one hand trailing along the wall to keep her straight.
As the girl stumbled along the darkened corridors, her thoughts wandered to the TARDIS. She couldn't put a time on when their relationship had shifted to a more pleasant one. Nor could she recall when the TARDIS had begun speaking to her. It had started with faint and indistinct thoughts that weren't her own popping into her head. She had been confused and rather frightened until she'd realised the thoughts synched up to the noises the TARDIS made. Eventually the thoughts became clearer and louder until they formed actual words in her mind. The voice was robotic to an extent but there was a more melodic layer underneath. Similar to when the Voice Interface took on her form and spoke to her. Except that it wasn't her voice. That would be weird.
She was brought out of her thoughts when the light died and she was plunged into darkness again. She stilled still unsure of the TARDIS' intentions. Just because they were getting along better didn't mean the TARDIS didn't keep pulling pranks. The ship hummed again.
"You're here. Now close your eyes."
"Is that really necessary?" Clara asked gesturing out into the darkness. The TARDIS clanged and made a noise similar to a child when they wanted someone to play along. Clara held up her hands. "Okay! Okay!" she said, closing her eyes and placing one hand over then for good measure while the other dropped to her side. She sighed and waited. There was a beep.
"Alright. Open."
Clara removed her hand from her eyes and opened them. She gasped. The TARDIS' normal blue light was a light shade of pink. Small plush hearts hung from the railings and red tinsel snaked around the room. Clara slowly turned, taking in the spectacle before her. The TARDIS whirred.
"The Doctor told me it was Valentine's Day on Earth. After how I acted at Halloween and Christmas, I thought it only fair... Do you like it?"
"Oh, TARDIS," Clara breathed, unable to keep the smile off her face, "It's beautiful." She faced the console and opened her mouth, yet no words came out. She didn't know what to say. After a pause she shrugged. "Thank you," the girl stated simply. The lighting in the room brightened and the TARDIS hummed happily.
"You're welcome, little one. There's one more surprise. Go downstairs."
Clara turned and ran down the stairs like a child on Christmas morning. When she reached the bottom she stopped and smiled. Under the platform, bathed in the pink light was a blanket, upon which was a picnic basket with a single rose on top. Clara giggled.
"If I didn't know any better TARDIS, I'd think you'd set up a date," she said playfully, crossing her arms. The lighting darkened a touch.
"Maybe I did little one. I don't know you at all Clara Oswald. But I would like to change that... If you want to. "
Clara smiled and bit her lip, leaning against the edge of the stairs as she thought. There was another pause and the TARDIS hummed hopefully. Eventually Clara grinned.
"Okay then, Snog Box," she said, pushing away from her leaning post as the TARDIS tittered, giggling. She sat down on the blanket and looked up at the pink lights. "What do you want to know?"
The Doctor watched in the shadows of the entrance corridor as the two current ladies in his life began to talk and bond. The Time Lord smiled before turning and leaving his girls alone.
"That's better."