Lorelai had always had to be the master of her own life

This story does involve the death of a major character. Rory Gilmore does die in this story. BUT, I didn't kill her off because I don't like her. I had her die in this story to see the redemption between Lorelai and Emily. I was thinking about Lorelai and Emily's relationship, and was asking myself, what it would take to force them to have a relationship again, and I realized that if Lorelai lost her daughter at the same time Emily had, they would have common ground, and I think that that would be the very thing to heal their relationship. So read on, and watch Lorelai and Emily open up their hearts like you have never seen them do before. All barriers are down, both are left very vulnerable. I think that this is the perfect making for the mother/daughter relationship that I believe they have both longed for years.

I do not own Gilmore Girls or the characters in any way.

Chapter 1

Lorelai had always had to be the master of her own life. Nothing was supposed to happen without her permission. She didn't know how to deal with this. She didn't even know where to begin. But the doctor was still talking, and she needed to keep listening. He was telling her everything that they had done to try to save her daughter, and what she needed to do now. The last thing that the doctor said was that he wasn't allowing her to drive herself home. She had to call a friend.

That was fine; she didn't think she could really move right now anyways. She couldn't even focus on who to call. The whole room was spinning, and everything was kind of blurry. Being the only person in the world that knew that Rory was dead was a really weird feeling. She tried to make a decision who to call. Sookie was out of the question, she would be too upset to drive, much like the doctor thought that Lorelai would be. Luke would drop everything and come to her side, but he loved Rory as much as Lorelai had and she wasn't sure she could hurt him that much right this second. She found it kind of funny, that she longed for her mother. She was sure that in a normal family, that was who would be called without a question, but this family was not normal, and calling her mother was not an option. But now she was stuck, who should she call? Someone that wasn't overly attached to Rory, someone that could help her make something out of this instead of add their own grief to it. And then it came to her. The only person it made sense to call.

Christopher was there within the hour, and ran through the door looking for her. He had had no idea about the accident and had a million questions for her. But looking into her eyes, he could tell that she didn't want to answer any questions right now. They checked out at the front desk, and he guided her to his car. The only question he asked was whether she wanted to go to her house or his. She answered hers, and ducked into his car. No, the people of Stars Hollow would not be fun to face, but if she didn't come home tonight, every single one of them would call her so she might as well go home.

It was a long trip home. Lorelai hadn't really thought about how long it took to get up to the New York hospital, she must have been too dazed. But the drive home was miserable. Both Lorelai and Christopher were silent and uncomfortable, each knowing there was a lot to say, but not ready to talk. So it was quite a drive, and it was very late when they drove through town. She ignored all the people jumping to windows as they realized that Lorelai was coming home. She was sure they were wondering what was going on being Rory wasn't with her. They had no idea that the town princess was gone. And she wasn't ready to tell them. When they got home, Lorelai was ready to flop on the bed and crash, but first they closed all the windows and drapes. Then they just sat on the couch not talking-again. Christopher asked if she was hungry, and she said no and got up and went up the stairs to her bedroom. She swallowed a couple of the pills the doctor had given her to help her sleep and laid down. She wanted it all to disappear- if only for a couple of hours.

Six hours later, at 5 am she woke up with a massive headache. As everything happening the night before came back to her, she crashed back down into her pillows. She instinctively picked up and looked at her cell phone, and despite everything had to smile at this crazy town. Luke had left 12 messages, Sookie had left 10, Miss Patty had left 8, and Babbette had left 24. She had 54 messages on her phone, and every single one of them was etched with concern and love for her and Rory. Everyone in town had seen her and Chris come home without Rory. She tried to get herself up, but her limbs seemed very heavy. She just laid back down for awhile. Listening to the messages again, she cried.

She had no idea where to start. She guessed that there was a lot do, but it all seemed very daunting. When she finally did get up she prayed Chris was still there. She needed some support, and didn't have any intention of telling anyone for a little while longer. She was in luck, not only was he there, he had coffee ready for her. She stumbled into the kitchen, and plopped into a chair. She had no idea what to say to this man in front of her. She couldn't look at him, she was feeling too much. She couldn't even place what she was feeling, but it was very heavy. She realized that if it wasn't for Rory, Chris could have had the life he had wanted. All of his plans, everything was changed instantly when she told him she was pregnant. Now, it all didn't seem worth it. Like they had taken a sixteen year round-about, and now were back to the beginning. She had no idea how to express all this yet. So she just slurped her coffee.

"Lorelai, when are you telling the town what happened? If they are anything like what I remember they will be storming the house soon." Christopher asked after several minutes of silence.

"I don't know. I'm really not ready to talk about it. At all." She answered. "But you are right, I do need to tell them."

"I think that they could help you Lor. They're wacko, but they have always been there for both of you."

"Yeah, you are right."

Just then the phone rang. Lorelai took a deep breath, and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi honey. What happened last night? I know Dean and Rory went to New York last night, but then everyone saw you speeding out of here, and then come back with Chris. Did something happen?"

"Ok Sookie, I need you to calm down. Honey, Rory die-. She didn't-. She died honey." Lorelai took a breath, and waited to hear what her dearest friend would say.

"Oh Lorelai." Was all she could get out before the tears came. "I don-. I jus-. Honey, what happened?"

"They were in an accident on the way to New York, a drunk hit the car, and they both died in the hospital last night."

"Oh honey, what's- how, what is going to happen now? I want you to know that I love….-d that girl. And I can come right over and help."

"Sweetie, Chris is still here, and we are working through it, will you make my excuses at work today? And I will let you help me a little later." After she hung up she turned to Chris, "Chris I can't do this again. It's too awful."

"Ok Lor, it's ok."

"No, it's not. A million more people are going to call and I have to tell them that the town's precious angel is gone."

"This will be ok Lor. It will."

"I don't see how. Two families are completely torn apart. I haven't even talked to Dean's mom. She must be hysterical. How rude of me is it not to go talk to her? Horrible. It's horrible." With that she crumpled into Chris, and just cried and cried.

Chris tried to calm her down, but he was upset too. "Lorelai, really they should come talk to us, their son was driving the car that killed them both."

When Lorelai could speak again, and was starting to calm down, all of the thoughts that she had been having about Chris's life came rushing back to her- and this time she couldn't keep them inside. "Chris, it just feels like this thing was such a waste if she wasn't even going to live. I mean- all our plans changed, everything was focused on the fact that we were pregnant. Both our lives would be so different if- if she wasn't even born. I'm not trying to be selfish, I'm just thinking that if in the grand scheme of things, the plan was for us to change all of our plans for Rory, and then for her to die at sixteen, it just seems like a waste. A big waste. You know?"

"Yeah, I understand. Lorelai I do. But I think that we were meant to have her. Even if was just for awhile. These last sixteen years we both have grown a lot. Maybe we were supposed to meet the people that we have met, and live where we have lived- just for awhile. And now we are supposed to go back to the original plan. In some ways."

Lorelai knew where he was going with that, and wiggled out of his arms so that he wouldn't continue. She would have to talk about this kind of stuff with someone else, Chris was too attached. He loved her too much.