Synopsis: Angel is thinking about Cordelia while she wastes away in a coma. Inspired by Girlfriend In a Coma by the Smiths
Characters: Angel
Pairings: Darla/Angel (mentioned), Buffy/Angel (mentioned), Cordy/Angel (hinted at), Cordy/Groo (mentioned), Jasmine (as Cordelia)/Connor (mentioned), Gunn/Fred (mentioned), Wesley/Lilah (mentioned), Buffy/Spike (hinted at)
Disclaimer: I own no part of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel TV, books or comic series, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~~~~Cordelia In a Coma~~~~~
Angel stood overlooking L.A. from his office at the top of the Wolfram and Hart building like a king surveying his kingdom, but he wasn't paying attention to the busy streets below or the skyline. He was deep in thought and had been since receiving word from the doctors taking care of Cordelia that her case was not improved. For months, she has been in a coma, hell she had been in a sort of vegetative state since the thing that was Jasmine began taking over her body since Cordelia made the deal with Skip to save him.
Angel remembered the first time he ever seen her at the Bronze. She had been standing with her friends as he walked past to meet Buffy and he had heard every word she had said when she had told the Cordette's to call 911 because he was going to need oxygen. He had ignored her.
His next clear memory of her was the Halloween when Buffy had lost her memory, before that he was supposed to meet Buffy at the Bronze, he hadn't found her, but he had found Cordelia and even though he would never have admitted it at the time she had known how to talk to him and had been able to draw him out of his shell and even made him laugh, something Buffy had not been able to do. After that Buffy, had put on the enchanted costumes floated around Sunny Dale compliments of Ethan Raines and Cordelia had actually tried to help the girl she called a freak and claimed to hate. He could still remember that she had referred to him as a Care Bear with fangs not knowing he really was. Vampire.
But, once she found out the truth her school girl crush was over and truth be told his vanity had missed it. Through all her high school years despite how unwanted she had been by the Scoobies' Cordelia had helped anyway and usually was the one to support Buffy when her best friends, Willow and Xander, would doubt her. Back then, Angel hadn't appreciated her loyalty or her contribution to Buffy or the group. He didn't learn to appreciate Cordelia or her friendship until he had almost lost her to Maude Pierson.
He remembered when he had run into her that first time in L.A. at that party. It had been nice to see a familiar; looking back on it now her asking him if he was " still grrr" curling her fingers like claws and the little face she had made and the big smile after asking had actually been cute and very Cordelia. She had been penniless and living in a roach motel, but being Cordelia she had acted like everything was great. If Angel wouldn't have been Russel down because of Tina, chances are Cordelia would not have survived that night even though she had always been resourceful.
She, with the help of a smitten Doyle had talked her way into a job and ultimately his life. There were times in those early days when he had to fight and urge to murder her. Like when she left the roach motel and invaded his bat cave as she liked to call it. In just the day she was with him he thought he was going to lose his mind, from peanut butter on his sheets that she tried to blame on him, too wet towels on his leather chair to cutting his linoleum to see if wood floors were u underneath. He had been so ready for her to leave he hadn't even bothered to check out her apartment until, the next day and the angry ghost of Maude Pierson revealed herself.
He and Cordelia had been through a lot together that first year alone he had almost lost her too many times. After losing Doyle he became even more protective of her and Wolfram & Hart soon realized she was his weakness more than even Buffy and they exploited that weakness too many times to count, Angel can still feel the fear from a few years back when they targeted her with the Vocah and endless visions that almost killed.
He had felt so helpless watching her mumbling incoherently, the drugs they had given her not strong enough to stop the visions for even a moments rest. He had finally managed to find what he needed to end the curse, but it had been too late to stop the lawyers from reviving Darla which ultimately caused a whole other mess that was partially responsible for the current situation they were in now, him and the rest of the team running the literal evil law firm, and Cordelia's Coma, but it was her trying to save him that made a false prophecy possible.
Humans were never meant to have the visions and the Vocah curse, had took its toll on her. She already knew she was dying when Angel had kicked them out of his life because of his blonde obsession as Cordy liked to call it, forgetting completely about Dru. When he finally got her back it was only to lose her again when she was sucked into the portal, she could have saved herself then and given up the vision, but Angel and his mission and what she seen as a gift from Doyle always came first.
The day that sealed their fates however was Cordelia becoming half-demon to save his life. Skip hadn't been working for the Powers, he had been working for an ancient god who has taken the name Jasmine once she had been able to manifest herself on after giving birth to herself after taking she had been able to possess Cordelia completely trapping Cordelia inside helplessly watching as the goddess betrayed her friends, family and seduced the boy Cordelia had helped raise until she stupidly took off with Groo leaving Wesley to deal with what was a falseness prophecy that caused him to try to run off with Baby Connor to protect him, only to have his throat slit and left for dead while Holtz abducted Connor raising him in a hell dimension and teaching him to hate Angel.
Jasmine using Cordelia body finished messing up Conner's head which is what lead them all to this point; Connor living a normal life with a family that loves him, Wesley, Lorne, Gunn, Fred and him of them working for Wolfram & Hart, living the good life, not having to want for anything and Cordelia in Coma. At times, it was as if none of them even remembered the heart of team even Angel. Fred had taken to being the only female quickly as well as her role in Wolfram & Hart, Lorne was rubbing elbows with singing legends he had been idolizing since arriving to this dimension, Gunn was also wrapped up in his new role, the chip he began to develop near the end of his and Fred's relationship had grown and as a result he had become very distant and Wesley was dealing with Lilah's death, trying his best to find loopholes despite her warning him he was wasting his time, he had taken the death lawyer, who had made their life miserable and he had claimed to hate even as he slept with her, hard having cared for her more than he had ever realized. But, of all of them, Angel was the most lost.
He was lost within Cordelia even if he didn't fully realize it, he needed her big sunny smile that seemed to bring the sunshine in his life, he needed her teasing to prod him into stepping outside his comfort zone, he needed her friendship to bring moments of laughter and he needed her by his side to make him complete. He wished he would have realized his changing feelings for her much earlier than he did. Instead he had been hung up on the star-crossed tragedy of a relationship he had with Buffy and at times he still was when it came to his pissing contest he had going with Spike who was now a part of his life again. But, Cordelia replaced Buffy once he took of the Buffy blinders. He had begun removing them the first year they were a team especially after Vocah, but it was after he had tossed them out of his life like so much garbage and after losing all hope when he took a trip on hell's elevator and having desperate sex with Darla trying to lose his soul that the Buffy blinders came off and the Darla obsession ended that he finally seen Cordelia and exactly how important she was to him.
He was desperate for Wesley's and Gunn's forgiveness, but it was Cordelia's he had to have, he knew she let him off easy when he bought her the clothes because she could have easily taken them as repayment for the ones he had gotten rid of and carried on as colleagues only. Cordelia in essence had taken pity on him and accepted his friendship and he had gladly accepted that pity and in doing so they became even closer and more reliant each other and now Angel was flourish and Cordelia was lost and her body in a coma.
Angel hadn't been to see her since the day they t0ok over the L.A. branch of Wolfram & Hart not because he didn't have time, but because he was angry with her. Skip had gleefully told him that Cordelia hadn't been in complete control since her birthday when she had agreed to become part demon. It hadn't been any demon that entered it had been the goddess who had used Cordelia as a host until she could find the right partner so she could give birth to herself and she had not only began controlling certain aspects of Cordelia's behavior and personality, Angel was certain it was Jasmine that decided to go blonde, but also which visions Cordelia seen and relayed. Even knowing this Angel was angry with her, he was angry because she had sacrificed herself for him. He was angry that she had chosen Groo over him and Connor after the ballet when he was finally getting the courage to tell her how he felt even though he knew Jasmine may have influenced that decision. He was angry that she ascended leaving him behind waiting for her and for seducing Connor when she came back, even though he knew by then Jasmine was in complete control. But, mostly he was angry because she was in a coma and he couldn't see her smile, hear her teasing him and calling him a dork and he couldn't tell her everything he needed to tell her, everything he should have told her before it was too late
Today the doctors called to tell him he would probably never get that chance, Cordelia was dying and the had no way of saving her. Maybe it was time to see her and finally tell her everything he needed to even if she couldn't respond before it was really too late. She wasn't dead yet, Cordelia was in a Coma, there was still hope.
~Fin~
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GrimLi