Without Consequence
A/N: I do not own Attack on Titan.
Thank you for clicking on my first fic! I hope you enjoy it. I'm just testing the waters now but it's gonna get freaky. Apologies in advance for any grammatical mistakes as I did all the editing myself. If you're still here, read on and review!
Virtual reality was not a novel concept. Technological trailblazer Eldia LLC, however, set a precedent with Paradis, the first VR platform to allow users to re-experience their own memories. This pioneered Virtual Psychotherapy, where Paradis recreated traumatic events for treating some mental illnesses. Advocates for utilizing Paradis for psychotherapy were constantly conducting experiments to provide evidence of the supercomputer's effectiveness.
Despite its success in the psychology field, the fact that the average patient couldn't even afford Virtual Psychotherapy stirred controversy. Legislation accused the Reiss Family, Eldia LLC's founders, of promoting class discrimination by not creating affordable access. The working class protested against it as "the government's secret mind control weapon." Political pressure on Eldia did not ease until a merger with the Marley Corporation, owned by the equally wealthy if not wealthier Tybur Family.
The newly formed conglomerate, Eldia-Marley, placed stricter guidelines on funding for experiments and tried incorporating Paradis in the National Healthcare System. For the past few months, management tasked the Survey Corps with pushing insurance companies to include Virtual Psychotherapy in their mental health policies and procedures. It was the reason why Eldia-Marley's facility was practically empty on a Friday night except for a lone cubicle in the corner. The nameplate on the outside wall read "Levi Ackerman - Survey Corps Team Lead."
Nearly a year ago, the Director of Operations, Erwin Smith, sent a "1-on-1 with Director" invite to Levi's work email so they could discuss Levi's post-merger promotion. Erwin implied that Levi would be going from doing extensive field work to exclusively processing protected health information behind a desk all day. No more meeting with researchers or following up with clients. When Erwin asked if he had any questions, Levi simply stood from his chair and stormed out of the office.
Levi fell even lower on the hierarchy of command when Eldia-Marley installed a higher-up in named Zeke "the Beast" Yeager in his department. Zeke's laid-back, charismatic disposition sharply contrasted with Levi's austere nature. The Beast certainly had no issues with contracting donation agreements and networking with important political figures and the like. Meanwhile, Levi transitioned from socialite to shut-in while familiarizing himself with the intricate processes of Healthcare. It became clearer with every passing fiscal quarter that Zeke was Eldia-Marley's middle finger to Levi.
The lovely "fuck you" from corporate did not hurt as much as Erwin's going along with it for "the greater good." Levi, who had been recruited by Erwin to work for Eldia shortly after graduating college with a degree in Psychology, liked to think that he and Erwin were on the same page about the future of Paradis and mental health. Now, he couldn't help but feel indignant for getting carved out of the big picture and tossed aside.
The vibrating of his cell phone a few inches away from the computer monitor brought Levi out of his thoughts. His computer had already fallen into sleep mode. Levi reached for the phone and saw a text from Hange, the supervisor of the Department of Behavioral Psychology. It read "Go home."
Levi scoffed at the message and logged back into his computer. His computer reminded him that his network password was going to expire on Monday. Levi took out a notepad to jot down a new login code, but his cell phone started begging for his attention again. "Are you seriously still here?" read another text.
Putting off creating a new network password, Levi snatched the irritating handheld device to send a reply. He was literally stabbing the letters of the word "Yeah" with his index fingers. One of his team members, Petra, had made fun of him for texting that way. She said it looked like he was playing a mobile version of whack-a-mole.
"Lab. Now." was Hange's quick response.
In addition to increasing headcount, Eldia-Marley moved the company to a huge campus that rivaled those of some of the country's biggest universities. Its large offices were connected to even bigger labs via skyways that required lengthy strolls to get to. With the inconvenient distance between his office and the campus labs, Levi was forced to limit his visits to urgent matters. Hange was either making a breakthrough or having a breakdown.
Levi mentally prepared himself for both scenarios as he clocked out and abandoned his desk. He reached the skyway and noted how beautiful the night was. He made a note to go for one of his midnight jogs later. The carpet flooring faded into linoleum when he finally crossed over to the side of the building designated for laboratories.
Hange, dressed in a casual pair of jeans and plaid button-up top, was waiting for him outside one of the department's smaller labs. When Levi's tired face met the beaming eye and ironically friendly looking eye-patch beneath a pair of glasses, he bluntly asked the pony-tailed brunette, "What is it?" Luckily, the psychologist appreciated Levi's no-nonsense attitude and said, "Management approved funding for my study," before motioning them to enter the lab together.
"Congratulations. I'm glad the merger is working out for one of us." Levi muttered with more bitterness than he had intended. The pair settled on an out-of-place sofa that was used for small breaks taken in the lab. Levi crossed his legs and folded his arms before leaning back into the soft cushions with a sigh.
"So they still got you doing all the paperwork, huh?" Hange said after figuring out why Levi was hanging around so late again. "Management's doing a big overhaul on my department," Levi confirmed. "It probably won't be too long before they start shoving brats into your lab," he spoke with frustration while staring ahead at a diagram of the human brain and spine on the wall.
Hange mused, "I can always use more guinea pigs."
Levi chuckled at that. In truth, Hange loved having volunteers, or victims, experiment with Paradis. Moblit, Hange's assistant, was unfortunate enough to have his childhood fear of heights projected into the platform to prove that Virtual Psychotherapy could treat phobias. Hange occasionally turned to the Survey Corps for trial runs of Paradis after one of its sporadic updates, but Levi never allowed any of his subordinates to become martyrs for Hange's inquisitiveness. .
Levi watched as Hange got up from the sofa to open a display case sitting at the other side of the lab. The inner lid of the container was labeled "3DMG" and an impressive view of the rumored three-dimensional maneuvering gear rested inside. Levi cursed his height for not letting him get a better angle of everything from where he sat. He reluctantly followed Hange's footsteps to the lab table.
"Eldia-Marley integrated the entire human sensory system with this three-dimensional maneuvering gear," Hange explained. "Instead of a VR controller headset, a body harness serves as a conduit for all the physiological senses. Users could connect to Paradis and create surrogate bodies or 'Titans' that mimic real sensation without any effect on the user's actual body."
"I was skeptical at first," the psychologist quickly added. "But all the studies were right: while test subjects are under Paradis and connected to the 3DMG, nothing can affect their true physical form. Yet they can still feel everything. Imagine being able to do anything to the human body without consequence."
Those last words made Levi shudder involuntarily, but he reminded himself that Hange's curiosity was borderline disturbing at times. Life taught Levi to be a practical person who didn't care much for the theoretical. "Test subjects are still people," He lightly chastised.
"What? Oh," Hange feigned annoyance. "Yes, I know that! Geez, of all people don't you think I know that? I'm just saying that this is the kind of technology that will revolutionize Virtual Psychotherapy. To make people relive their suppressed memories is cruel. It's the equivalent of torture. I've had patients beg me to turn Paradis off or throw the headset controller at Moblit." Levi was not making eye contact with Hange, but the look on his face said that he was definitely listening.
"All of it just made me think, why does treatment have to focus on pain? What about pleasure?" Hange glanced in Levi's direction as if to gauge his reaction.
There was some silence before Levi echoed, "Pleasure?"
"I want to understand how Paradis'artificial environment influences sexual behavior."
"Are you going to be watching?"
"Paradis has never been able to record visuals, but the 3DMG can capture a subject's movements and readings."
"Readings?"
"Body temperature, heart rate, stress level, hormone levels, blood pressure."
Levi didn't pry any further. Hange obviously had a clear idea of how the study was going to play out. The project had been reviewed and approved by management, after all. "How did you get the idea for this study?" He suddenly turned to Hange and questioned.
"Do you recall Alfred Kinsey's interviews and reports on human sexuality?"
"I saw the movie about it,"
"Master and Johnson's study of participants before, after, and during sex?"
"Yes. I do have Netflix," Levi said.
"Oh, come on. You know that the book is always better," Hange laughed before moving to a bookshelf to grab a collection of journals and place them on the lab table.
Levi glanced at some of the titles: Human Sexual Inadequacy, Contemporary Sexuality, New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives. He was going to reach for one of the works but caught sight of a journal with Virtual Reality and the Virtual Community scribbled on the cover.
"This was the precursor to the sexual behavior study," Hange pointed out as Levi flipped the small journal open with interest. "Eldia wanted to use Paradis for managing real-time virtual worlds where users could interact with each other. Like a role-playing game." Hange sighed before stating, "We had a focus group, but Eldia didn't stand a chance in RPG's competitive market. Participants kept saying that Paradis was boring and there wasn't really much to do."
"It was clearly a prototype. Were they actually expecting a fully developed game?" Levi asked incredulously. Hange gave a small shrug. "I still took it as a failure at first. Eldia wanted to get rid of the 'government mind control' stigma and dumb its most intelligent computer down to a RPG game for the general public. In the end, Eldia put a hold on whole project to focus on the merger. I was ready to give up entirely."
Levi turned to the last few pages of the journal, filled with screenshots of what looked like conversations between individuals in the focus group. "That was until I accessed the chat logs." Hange triumphantly smirked and signaled Levi to read on. Each snippet contained dialogue, labeled with a time stamp and differentiated by participant number.
At first the conversations between strangers were typical introductions and whatnot. Users spoke to each other as they tried familiarizing themselves with the game environment. The time stamp on the next round of chatting between the players was about two hours apart from the first one. It mostly detailed the boredom and confusion of the focus group.
There were some ribald jokes here and there. Levi didn't see anything out of the ordinary until he turned his attention to the logs that were labeled as "private instant messaging" which was limited to only two users as opposed to the larger chat room. It didn't take long for Levi to figure out that sexting was the favorite pastime of over half of the focus group whenever two participants got each other alone.
Hange burst out laughing as Levi slammed the journal down on the lab table and glared at his co-worker. Hange snickered, "Eldia promised the group that their identities would remain private. Anonymity seemed to have an interesting effect on how they communicated with each other."
Levi shook his head, reeling from a mixture of shock and shame. "I can't unsee what I just read."
The psychologist gave Levi a look of disbelief before quipping, "You asked me how I got the idea for virtual sex therapy. Well, there's your answer." Levi replied, "Yes but you could have just told me instead of showing me this…filth." Hange went into another laughing fit to Levi's chagrin.
"So you're telling me that you have never used a social dating app or had something like this happen on one? I was born at night but not last night."
Levi cringed at the thought of his experiences with dating apps and anonymous chat sites. He was wary about trying again, even though his team dropped not-so-subtle hints about how he needed to get back into dating.
"I should have seen this coming, really." Hange chuckled while fiddling with one of the 3DMG wires. "Eldia-Marley is definitely making profit off of subscribers." To this Levi wondered, "Subscribers? The program already launched before your study got approved, then."
"The program is going to launch simultaneously with the study in a few weeks. Individuals who have pre-ordered their subscription are already officially apart of the experiment. It's spelled out in the terms and conditions," Hange clarified. "Whether or not you participate in the community is voluntary. Management has no problem with employees registering for it since the study is anonymous."
Levi imagined that membership was not cheap since Paradis and 3DMG were being used. He had to admit that it seemed like an interesting break from the medical billing side of Virtual Psychotherapy. Then he remembered that the forty-eight hour countdown that was his weekend had already started. Pretty soon, he'd be right back on campus and knee-deep in cases to process.
The harsh reminder of what was to come after the weekend made Levi more than ready to go home, a good half hour away from Eldia-Marley. He looked up at the clock on the wall and saw the small hand and large hand hovering over the eleven. Maybe he'd still have some time for that jog. Hange followed his gaze and said, "Guess we should head out, huh?"
"Might as well," he exhaled.
"I'll walk with you to the parking garage. Moblit's probably getting tired of waiting for me."
Levi gave a nod and looked at the 3DMG one last time. The body holsters were tucked neatly into the box. He almost imagined what it would feel like to don the maneuvering gear and experience Paradis. Almost. He had never allowed himself to use the platform in all the years he'd been advocating for its use in Virtual Psychotherapy.
He stepped out of into the hallway and waited for Hange. When his friend emerged from the lab, now pitch black with its lights shut off, they walked to the parking ramp together. The ride in the elevator was quiet until Hange broke the silence with, "I hope that you consider registering."
The elevator made a loud bing sound as it opened to the underground parking area. A Toyota Camry with Moblit in the driver seat sat patiently in its designated space. Hange turned to Levi with a card for him to take. "Moblit and I will be traveling next week to do some presenting and promoting for the study. You don't have to decide now if you want to be a part of this, but here's something to help in case you do finally come around."
Levi took the card without looking at its contents and stored it in the breast pocket of his dress shirt. With that, Hange nodded goodbye and got into Moblit's car via the passenger side. Levi watched the vehicle fade out of view before taking the stairs to the upper level where his jeep was parked. The drive home was a solemn one. At every red light, he fought the urge to reach for the card, the crisp corners of it reminding Levi of its presence.
xxxxxXXXXXXXxxxxxx
A spotless living room connected to a medium-sized kitchen greeted Levi when he finally reached his apartment. Levi kicked off his shoes and headed straight for the bedroom. He did not bother with turning on any lights; the TV would be bright enough to see everything. A late night talk show played in the background as Levi stripped and entered the bathroom connected to his room.
The warm shower that he took was relaxing enough to take his mind off work. After getting out of the tub, he came back into the room to toss his work clothes in the hamper. His thumb rubbed against the breast pocket of his shirt, holding the card that Hange had given him. Levi pulled the card out and set it face down on the end table by his queen-sized bed.
Once his jogging attire was on, Levi shut the TV off and did his routine warm-up stretches in the dark. He felt his way through the pitch black apartment until he reached the front door. Levi took off into the night with the apartment key and his cell phone tucked in the pocket of his compression leggings.
The air whipped at Levi's flesh as he sped down familiar streets in the neighborhood. It felt nice to run at night without having to worry about other pedestrians or distractions. His mind, however, quickly flashed back to the journal he had read back in Hange's lab.
Levi nearly tripped over a crack in an uneven sidewalk. He came to a stop and ran a shaky hand through his damp hair. He'd only been running a good ten minutes, but his heart was beating so fast—
He was hard.
Swearing, Levi scoped the area for a bench to sit down and rest on. With no luck in finding one, he gave up and staggered to a nearby tree. He pretended to adjust his Nike sneakers and thought, Seriously, I'm twenty-fucking-eight, not fifteen. As he bent over to fumble with his shoelaces, Levi managed to make matters worse by rubbing his erection against his inner thigh.
"Hey, man, you ok?" A voice in the distance grew closer, startling Levi. He backed further into the tree's bark, its jagged pieces stabbing his arm. The pain didn't seem to help with the issue he was having downstairs. "I saw you almost fall back there. Then you went to the tree-I thought maybe you were dehydrated or something," a young man with piercing green eyes stood under a streetlight holding out two eight-ounce water bottles.
Levi stood there for a few awkward seconds before realizing that the guy was offering him one of the little bottles. Levi muttered, "Oh, thanks, yeah. I'm alright," but he didn't dare make a move to come out from the shadows. This made the other furrow his brow and ask, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Levi hissed. The hostility caused the younger man to wince and Levi felt some guilt when he caught the look of hurt in the other's face. Confused, the kind stranger backed away and placed the bottle on the ground before jogging off in a different direction. Levi waited until he could no longer see the running figure and eased himself back onto the jogging path to pick up the small Ozarka bottle.
He wasn't getting any less excited. That Ozarka kid had a nicely toned body and glistening long black hair pulled back to not get in the way as he ran. Levi's libido was not shy about reacting to the situation. He had to admit, however, that it was weird to see someone else running this late. Maybe some college students just started subletting a house nearby for the Spring-it was definitely a possibility.
Still, Levi needed to get home to take care of his dilemma. He twisted off the plastic bottle cap, downed the lukewarm liquid, and resolved to get home without making a mess in his leggings.
Feet pounding the pavement and breath coming out in pants, Levi raced back home. The friction of his manhood against his boxers and leggings felt electric. His right hand squished the bottle of Ozarka as flat as physically possible. When the Rose Estates sign outside his apartment came into view, Levi had never been so grateful. He threw what used to be a water bottle in the recycling bin outside the complex and hurried inside the entry way.
He reached for the key by forcing his hand into his pocket. It brushed against his hardness and Levi shut his eyes in frustrated bliss at the careless mistake. Not even two meters into the living room, he found himself tearing at his clothes after closing and locking the door behind himself. His cell phone made a soft thud on the carpet next to the front door key. Levi joined the discarded items shortly after as he fell to his knees and roughly brought the side of his face against the floor.
Nearly ten years ago, he had been a first year in college. One of his classmates from his Intro to Psych class, Furlan, took him to a club downtown at the end of orientation week. When Levi came face to face with a dark-haired gentleman offering to buy him a drink, he declined for being under twenty-one. Undeterred, the man had brought Levi to the bar and ordered himself a shot of whiskey and glass of water.
Surprised that someone was paying so much attention to him, Levi happily took the glass of water. A few more songs boomed from the club's speakers before it was announced that the club was closing-it was already two o'clock in the morning. Levi tried looking for Furlan as the party-goers were escorted out the building, but his new friend insisted that they leave together since his classmate had probably already gone home.
Levi trusted his words and got into a cab with him. A gropy taxi ride to the man's apartment later, Levi found himself face down on his date's bedroom floor while getting felt up from behind. "Sorry, I just moved to Trost and haven't bought any furniture yet," Levi heard the man say. "I also don't have any condoms on me."
He remembered not caring about protection. He consented and faced the wall on his hands and knees, convincing himself that he was finally getting what he thought he had wanted.
Levi didn't have a phone yet, so he gave his email to who he assumed was his new boyfriend the morning after. He was then dropped off at a coffee shop near his school. Two weeks passed and no email from Mr. Fuck'em and Forget'em. Furlan nearly tore his head off when Levi explained what happened matter of factly.
The rashes that appeared on his skin later turned out to be from a bad reaction to a new body wash. Considering himself fortunate, Levi vowed to practice safe sex and be more careful. For the next four years, however, his futile search for a warm body to sleep next to left him feeling cold and empty.
In the present, Levi could feel his body begging for release. The memories of his sex life during the college years almost made him want to stop completely. When he chose to focus on the jogger who gave him the water bottle, he found himself getting aroused again and began stroking himself furiously. He quickly slid his undergarments beneath himself to make sure nothing would stain the carpet.
Getting fucked by a stranger while having one's head forced against a tree was a strange thought to get off on, but it seemed to work for Levi so he stuck with it. As he got closer to the edge, Levi imagined getting his hair yanked back by the green-eyed runner. He let out a soft moan as he came. Rolling onto his back, he basked in the afterglow of his orgasm until he felt the wet stickiness on his thighs.
Groaning, Levi lifted himself off the floor and snatched his clothes up. He sauntered towards the bathroom and planned to take a much longer shower. Dropping his soiled clothes in the hamper, Levi stepped unto the cool tiles and turned the shower faucet on. He let the water run until it warmed up to his preferred temperature.
He stared at the drain and let out a sigh. After getting serious with his job, finding time to date became impossible. A lot of men didn't find Levi's deadpan humor and personality sexy. Intimidating and scary, yes, but charming and attractive, no. And if he was not "down to fuck" then he was downright useless. Some dates would be pissed after realizing that Levi set the bar higher than a forty-dollar meal and cheap happy hour drinks.
He convinced himself that he was definitely single by choice, but repressing the desire to indulge was harder than he was willing to acknowledge. His reaction to the focus group chat clearly revealed that.
Levi crawled under the covers of his bed in a new shirt and pair of boxers. He turned the TV on to help him fall asleep. There was some show on with two of its characters arguing about something stupid before they decided to have predictable, soft-core makeup sex. Levi shut it off and decided to listen to his MP3 that he kept in his bedside drawer.
Having no success with finding the drawer handle in the dark, Levi reached for the lamp and turned it on. The light shone on the back of the card that he had placed on the end table not too long ago. Would it kill him to take part in the study? Hange did say that everything was anonymous.
Suddenly, Levi sat up and turned the card over in his hand. There was a link to the virtual community that he had read about in the journal and the words Promotional Code: TITAN X.
With the desire to sleep gone, Levi went to retrieve his laptop computer from the living room. He returned to connect an ASUS notebook to its charger and boot it up.
After logging on, he pulled up his web browser and typed the link into the address bar. It took him to a minimalistic black and white web page with PARADIS sprawled across the screen. In the bottom left corner was a hyperlink that read pre-order now. Levi was ashamed to admit how quickly he clicked on it.
It took him to a page that featured downtown Trost. It morphed into different angles of the metropolis before switching to other cities. Levi recognized Mitras, Ragako, and Shiganshina. Finally, a note stating that the virtual environments in Paradis were modeled after real-world cities appeared in the foreground.
Impressive, Levi thought to himself before the images of the 3DMG filled the screen. There were sketches of earlier versions of the equipment in black and white but the model that he had seen back at the lab appeared in full, vibrant colors. Then the message Subscriptions starting at $200.00 USD popped up. Levi did a double take. Two hundred dollars a month was not chump change; whoever had already subscribed to Paradis was definitely on a higher pay grade higher than him.
When a smaller window asking for contact and payment information sprung into view, he fought back an eye roll as he reached for his wallet. After typing in his card information, Levi hesitated to finish registration when the terms and conditions rolled into the center of the screen. He checked, "I accept" and the button that said "confirm" became clickable.
Levi stopped himself when he remembered to enter the promo code, Titan X. He then hit "confirm" and waited for the confirmation page to load completely. An email from Paradis showed up in his email's inbox shortly after. He followed the link and was taken to a page that asked him to create a profile.
Under gender, there were the options of male, female, custom, non-gender binary, and prefer not to answer. The fourth option made him think of Hange.
There was a sexual preference assessment reminiscent of the Kinsey scale and then a survey on sexual history. Levi was surprised it didn't ask about his hobbies or interests. Maybe this wasn't going to be some virtual version of Tinder as he had thought. He completed the questions in record time before returning to the homepage, where a countdown for the Paradis release appeared. Grateful that the registration process was not drawn out, Levi closed his laptop and headed back to bed to rest at last.
He lay awake a few more minutes before his heavy eyelids drooped shut. Sleep finally came.
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