For You
Summary: The Dark Knight, Gotham's most hated hero, spends a melancholy evening picturing what could have been. The one woman for whom he might have left it all behind and created such a life for keeps him company. Slightly angsty one-shot.
Some nights, like tonight, this was all that kept him from giving up, from abandoning Gotham to whatever horrible fate awaited it. Most of the city loathed him, they all believed he was a murderer, never mind the fact he'd saved them from the Joker and had risked himself for them countless times. Why not leave the ungrateful masses? Why not let the forces of evil and darkness and malice have their way with Gotham?
Because of the small things of perfect beauty like these. Whilst there were things like this in Gotham, things worth fighting for and worth protecting, he could not give up.
They were a picturesque family. Two parents, still in love even after the initial haze of passion and excitement had faded a little. The husband was good looking in a plain, happy way. Bruce didn't know where he worked, but he thought it would be an honest, if boring place. Perhaps a bank or an insurance firm.
The wife was genuinely beautiful, dark hair and eyes coupled with a red, often smiling mouth. The way her husband gazed at her, full of adoration and wonder filled Bruce's heart with warmth and bitter jealousy in equal parts.
Then, there were the children.
The girl, only ten or so was the oldest he thought. She had her mother's dark hair and eyes, but Bruce knew from the many evenings watching this family that she was more like her father in personality. Although, maybe it just appeared this way as she was definitely a Daddy's girl. It made him think of Gordon's daughter and the way she adored her Police Commissioner father.
The boy looked like the perfect mesh of father and mother. Even at his young age, he was already handsome with bright, almost platinum blonde hair and dark, almost black eyes. He laughed and clowned around a lot.
That phrase… 'Clown around'. It suddenly made Bruce wonder if perhaps this was what the Joker had been like, so very long ago.
If so, then Bruce found it so much harder to hate the man mercilessly. More like pity. He had to wonder what sort of world it was he lived in where a happy, creative child could be turned into a raving, dangerous madman such as the Joker.
Bruce sighed and cleared his mind of the troubling thoughts. He liked watching this family from his hiding spot on the opposite roof, hidden in shadows. He was determined not to ruin it by fretting over things out of control.
Despite the fact that watching what little good remained in Gotham warmed his heart, Bruce knew this habit was not a healthy one. It was almost bordering on obsession. He wanted this existence, this life full of family and happiness and devoid of black malice and danger. He wanted a few people around him who he could pour all his unspent adoration and love into. People who'd do the same back.
But he couldn't have it. Not at the moment anyway. Maybe not ever.
So, he made do with his little adopted family and pictured what it would be like to truly be a part of it. Perhaps he could have been a kindly uncle, the sort that was forever visiting with gifts' and cheesy jokes. He would be the father's brother, a man who had been secretly in love with the woman (Bruce tried not to unconsciously name her 'Rachel'), but had never quite managed to make their relationship work. So, when his brother married her, he put on a brave face and contended himself with merely being there for her.
All this imaging caused Bruce's heart to ache mercilessly. He really was a glutton for punishment it seemed. He gave another quiet sigh, this one full of despair.
"Long night?"
Bruce turned away from the family and looked at the woman before him. She gazed back fearlessly, despite the fact that by all rights, Bruce really should be handcuffing her and turning her into the police right about now.
"Not really, no." He said quietly. "Just thinking."
She paused and peered over Bruce's shoulder. When she saw the cause of his pain, her face, or at least, what could be seen of it through the mask, darkened.
"You shouldn't do this to yourself," She told him, shaking her head disapprovingly. "It only hurts you, wishing for what you can't have."
"I could have it though Selina, and that's what hurts the most." Bruce replied, not caring if she heard the accusatory tone in his voice, "It's not my fault I can't have this."
Selina narrowed her eyes and glared at Bruce, mouth pulling down in anger and upset.
"So it's mine of course," She guessed furiously, "Just because I can't be what you want."
"I never said it was anyone's fault," Bruce shot back, stung by the little grain of truth that in a way, he had been blaming Selina unreasonably for his own loneliness and misery, "It's not one of those things were anyone's to blame."
Selina looked at him flatly for a moment, as if she somehow knew he was lying, both to her and himself. It was moments like these that really made her whole cat persona come to life. Bruce had had a pet cat as a kid, it'd often looked at him in exactly the same flat, politely disbelieving way whenever he did or said something ridiculous.
Then, just as Bruce thought his defensive lying was going to start an even bigger and perhaps more ferocious fight between him and Selina, she sighed and shook her head, lowering her gaze a little.
"You're right, it's not anyone's fault." She said, a little sadly, "It's this city… What sort of place is Gotham if it allows people like you, like me… Hell, even people like the Joker and his psychotic little girlfriend to exist?"
Bruce didn't reply, he couldn't. He knew what answer Selina wanted him to give, but he couldn't bring himself to force such words from his mouth. For in all honesty, Bruce really did love Gotham. It was a flawed, sometimes bitter love, sort of like the way a young girl continued to love the boy who broke her heart time and time again in high school. But it was still real, his love for his hometown. He couldn't betray it by disowning it, denunciating it the way Selina did and wished he did.
Perhaps Selina understood this refusal to answer from Bruce. Or maybe, it had been a rhetorical question. In any case, she answered her own question after a brief pause.
"It's a bad place." She whispered, "Gotham is bad. That's why all the villains and criminals and freaks, people like me, are drawn here. Because we don't have to pretend to be any different to what we really are, because this city is so used to its own corruption and evil it really can't give a shit anymore."
"That's not true," Bruce replied, furiously and a little desperately, "None of that is true. Gotham does care, it has good people in it. Just look at those people, that family there if you don't believe me. They still managed to raise good kids, despite the influence of Gotham. And you're not bad."
"Oh, really?" Selina gave a disbelieving, bitter smile, "So you find loving me so difficult then not because my criminality directly challenges your morals and ethics, but because…?"
Bruce opened his mouth to reply, knowing that he'd just made a bad mistake, that'd he put his foot in it. Again. He was going to have to choose his following words carefully and mean them too.
Which meant…
Bruce closed his eyes briefly, silently feeling his heart and well, most of his other vital organs shrivel up and die from sheer horror.
It meant he had to tell her the truth. What he'd known for close to a month now, what he'd been too afraid to tell Selina in case she not believe him, like Rachel hadn't, or if she'd laugh in his face. He wasn't sure which was the worse scenario.
"Well?" Selina eyed him with hard eyes, as if trying to decide whether or not he was even worth the trouble. Bruce knew that even if it weren't for the romantic…complication of their relationship, he'd have to stay on Selina's good side. After all, she knew who he was.
*****
Yet another jewel robbery. Bruce was starting to think that either this 'Catwoman' was either very uncreative, or she had a serious case of burglary oriented neophobia. This was the fifth gem job in a month.
"You should really put that back." He called out, startling his adversary who was currently hanging upside down, holding a large, flawless diamond she'd pilfered from a nearby display case. Apparently laser beam triggered alarms, locks and supposedly unbreakable glass weren't enough to protect things in this city anymore.
Catwoman gave a hiss and pressed something on her rappelling harness that let her unclip herself and land lithely on the ground before Bruce.
"I don't think so." She purred, placing the diamond in a secure, zipped section of her costume. She produced a very dangerous and painful looking whip of a worrying length. The tip was made of what looked like barbed wire or something similar.
And then, faster then he would have believed possible, it was snapping in the air around him. Bruce started and quickly dodged as she aimed for a stinging blow to his face. As fast as he was though, the whip was constantly whirling like a snake through the air around him.
Catwoman sneered at him as he attempted to duck under the whip and close the distance between her and him. Using his distraction to her advantage, she flicked her wrist sharply and Bruce suddenly hit the ground as the whip curled around his feet and pulled them out from underneath him.
Her sneer was quickly wiped from her face however when he rolled to the left and grabbed the length of the whip. He yanked it out of her hands roughly before leaping back to his feet.
"Playtime's over," Bruce grunted, throwing the whip aside, "I'm ending this now. I am supposed to be on a date right now and you are making me late."
Catwoman hissed viciously and flexed her hands. One of her favourite parts of her costume came into play, the four inch retractable steel claws. They protruded from her paw like leather gloves, glinting maliciously.
Bruce dodged one swipe, but the next one just caught him across the chin. Cursing, he backed away. A clock over Catwoman's head caught his attention.
"Damn!" He cursed under his breath, "I'm late!"
Taking his temper out of the feline femme before him, he knocked her backwards off her feet and before she could get up again, quickly handcuffed her to the nearest object to heavy for her to shift. An ancient Egyptian statue of Bast, ten feet tall and made of solid stone. Hmm.
Then, he pulled the fire alarm. And left very quickly.
*****
He was just about to leave and call her once he got home when he heard her voice.
"Bruce!" Selina called, jogging across the snowy road to join him outside their decided upon restaurant. "I'm so sorry, I completely lost track of time and…"
She trailed off, her large, angular green eyes suddenly widening as she took in Bruce's face. He frowned at her obvious fear and consternation.
"What?" He asked, putting his hand up to his face unconsciously, "What's wrong?"
Selina Kyle didn't say anything, merely touching her own chin in a fearful and truthfully, a slightly furious gesture. Bruce understood suddenly, she as referring to the nasty looking scratch on his chin.
"Oh that." He laughed shortly, "It's nothing. Now, let's go get dinner."
Selina still didn't move, looking increasingly frustrated and shocked as the seconds trickled by. Eventually, when her silence began to irk him, Bruce scowled.
"Cat got your tongue?" He asked.
She smiled suddenly, albeit in a viciously amused way.
"No," She purred, "Cat got your chin actually."
*****
"Well?" Selina was obviously on the verge of walking away. Bruce sighed and decided not to dither any longer. There was, after all, no other way to escape this situation completely unscathed. Metaphorically speaking.
"You're right, I couldn't be with you properly before because you're criminal habits were just too much for you to coexist alongside my ethics and morals." Bruce said quietly, "But the more time I spend with you… I start to realise how little all my rules and ethics have brought me. Nothing really, only pain."
Selina started to say something, but she fell silent when she saw Bruce wasn't finished.
"For you," He continued, more quietly still, "For you… I'd give it all up. The mask, the rules… Everything. For you, I'd be anything, do anything. I'd sacrifice everything I have now and could ever have just to be what you need or want from me. All that…"
He paused for a moment, fixing his blue eyes upon her green ones.
"All that for you."
The silence lasted a minute, an hour, an eternity. Bruce knew it was really only a few seconds, but an eternity was how it felt to him. He could say nothing, do nothing but look at the woman he loved before him. It was all her now. If she dismissed him and his offer, then he'd go and never come back. If she wanted him though, if she was willing to accept him…
No, better not to get his hopes up. Bruce stayed silent and clamped down on the tiny trickle of hope that threatened his very sanity.
Then, at long last, Selina Kyle stirred. The sudden relief her motion brought was almost painful. She crossed the distance between them with long, graceful strides.
And then, she kissed him. Bruce vaguely reflected on how there was nothing meaningless behind such a gesture, how she never so much as laid a hand on him unless there was something significant to the motion. After what felt like a lifetime as a shallow, superficial playboy who did nothing worthwhile romantically, it was a beautiful change.
He returned her kiss with all the passion and maybe desperation of a drowning man who has been plucked from the water by an angel. Selina's orange goggles bumped against his forehead as he cupped her face and pressed himself closer to her, so he pushed them up. He loved her eyes, the deep, green depths that never seemed to completely lose their mystery.
All too soon, Selina was pulling free, a very faint pink tinge just visible in her skin. Bruce wondered whether this was due to excitement or embarrassment from so utterly abandoning her usual restraint and self-control.
"Selina," Bruce started to talk. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but it didn't matter. Selina interrupted him though, laying a finger across his mouth and shaking her head.
"Bruce," She whispered, "I love you, you know I do. But, I can't ask you to give up everything that makes you who you are… Besides, Gotham needs Batman. More then I do anyway."
Bruce felt something like an ache in his chest and his breath caught in his throat painfully. Surely Selina didn't mean… Was she trying to get rid of him? Then, just when he thought that surely his heart would shatter into a million agonising shards…
"So I'll do something for you." Selina smiled faintly, head tilted to one side, "I'll change. I'll be someone worthy of your love, someone worthy of Batman."
Bruce released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding.
"Selina, no!" He shook his head, "I have no right to ask that of you."
Selina smirked and raised a brow.
"And I have the right to ask you to give up a role that helps millions of people?"
Bruce bit his bottom lip.
"Well…" He sighed, "Perhaps not."
Selina laughed lightly.
"Besides, you wouldn't be able to give it up." She said in amusement, "Oh, you'd try and make me happy, but you'd be miserable. Then, you'd give in."
"I'd do anything that made you happy." Bruce protested, frowning behind his mask.
"Maybe, but it wouldn't be fair if it was at the cost of your happiness."
There was a long moment of silence where Bruce struggled to think of how to resolve this problem. Eventually, when nothing came to mind, he turned to Selina, an imploring expression on his face.
"So we still can't be like that family in the apartment then?" He asked, "Not as we are now?"
Selina regarded him solemnly.
"Unless we can reach a compromise. I doubt that would happen though, both of us are too absolute, too set in our ways. Only time changes us."
Bruce felt the solution present itself then. It was imperfect and not completely what either he or Selina wanted, but it was the best he could come up with.
"So let's just be what we can be together for now," He said quietly, "Until time makes us capable of change and compromise."
He paused for another second before looking at Selina with dark, hopeful eyes.
"That is, if you can wait."
Selina smiled and gently laid one of her slim, gentle hands against his face.
"For you," She said, "For you I'll wait."
And then, she stepped back, pushed her goggles back over her eyes and gave Bruce last smile, this one more teasing then it's predecessor. She stepped to the edge of the building and then, disappeared over the threshold.
Bruce watched her go before casting one last look at the family in the apartment below.
The wife was curled up against the husband on the couch, laughing quietly and sharing a bottle of wine with him. Bruce smiled once more before turning his back and striding away.
Only time would make him capable of change and compromise? Well, Bruce thought, looking up at the sky where the bat signal floated in the night air like a phantom, maybe time began now.