Title: Sarcastiqujoi
Author: take phat (smallobeed@hotmail.com)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Who'd be dumb enough to think I own them? PS No offence to people who think I do.
Spoilers: Nope, this is kinda AU, but not really
Pairing: Chloe/Lex
Archive: Yes please, just tell me where it's going :- )
Genre: Romance/Humour
Chapter 1: Battle of the wits
"Ms Sullivan" Lex greeted slinkily as he strode through the door.
Chloe masked her shock with an annoyed glare, normally she would welcome company into the solitude of the Torch office, but that was only when she wasn't knee deep in work that was due tomorrow. Besides, she wasn't ready for company. Her hair was done up in a sloppy ponytail, small wisps escaped the well-worn hair lackey and tickled her face annoyingly. She attempted to speak but the pencil lodged in her jaw made it difficult so she spat it out
"Mr Luthor" she mimicked. Lex was unfazed by her obviously irritated mood and sat lazily in a chair behind her.
"I don't recall telling you to sit down" Chloe pretended to return to her typing, aware of his gaze on her.
"I don't recall asking" Lex replied easily, his famous smirk in place.
"Unlike yourself Mr Luthor, some people have to work, so could you please let me get on with this?" It was more a request than a question, but Lex didn't budge.
"If your like this to all you're your guests Ms Sullivan, I'm surprised it isn't swarming with visitors"
"I'm not like this to ALL my guests MR LUTHOR, just condescending, obnoxious, billionaires who think they own the world" Chloe spat, Lex's smirk deepened
"Obnoxious? You wound me, Ms Sullivan" Lex drawled, his eyes ran over her body slowly and obviously before returning to her face. Chloe felt self- conscious about her haggard appearance, but she didn't want to give him satisfaction of knowing he got to her.
"Yes, I'm sure you'll be crying yourself to sleep tonight" Chloe muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
He shook his head, a small trace of a smile on his lips "Enough with the pleasantries Ms Sullivan, I suppose you're wondering why I've dropped by"
"Clark isn't here" she said, trying in vain to return to her typing.
"Actually, I came here specifically to see you" this caught Chloe's attention, she swivelled around to face him.
"Me? What d'you want with me?" Chloe asked suspiciously, searching his face for an answer.
"A night of your company" Lex answered carelessly, Chloe's eyes widened. 'A night of her company'? Like a date?
"Like a date?" she questioned, Lex chuckled softly.
"Don't get your hopes up, Ms Sullivan. It's just a party, I'd like you to attend it as my guest"
"So, like a date" Chloe repeated, Lex shrugged.
"In a way, yes. But in a slightly more accurate way, no" Chloe shook her head.
"Well? What are you calling it?" Chloe asked impatiently. Lex's forehead crinkled in thought
"A non-date" he concluded, Chloe's mouth twitched in a restrained smile, and she returned to her keyboard.
"What is exactly required on this 'non-date'?" Chloe sighed, speedily typing up a paragraph on something to do with the school computer lab.
"You. Make up. Tight dress" Chloe blushed a little, but managed to stay focused.
"Sorry. No"
Lex frowned and pulled his chair closer "Come on, why not?"
"Why? Can't you call an escort service or get one of your monthly bimbos to join you?" Lex smiled sardonically at Chloe's choice of words, but went on.
"I had a date arranged, but she cancelled in the last minute"
"Imagine that" Chloe snorted, Lex continued as though he hadn't heard.
"It's tonight and it's too late to get anyone else"
"Why don't you go on your own?" Chloe questioned, her brow furrowing
"Me? Alone at a party? My own, no less. I'm sure it'll be all over the paper by morning 'Lonely Lex Luthor: Is he gay?'" Lex emphasised his point with the predicted headline. Chloe laughed disbelievingly.
"You're conceited" Chloe stated, completing yet another paragraph.
"No, I'm realistic" he corrected "So, are you coming?"
"I don't know..."
"Come on. I guarantee you'll enjoy yourself" Chloe heard the most minuscule amount of pleading in his voice, she turned to face him with a Cheshire grin on her face, it's enormousness threatened to split her face in two. He needed her. This thought alone caused her mouth to fill with saliva and her eyes to glaze over. Oh, the possibilities! Lex noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she had a dreamy look on her face. He grew worried because the only reason he knew she was alive was because of the slight rising and falling of her chest. But he wasn't worried for her, he was worried for himself.
"Uh...Ms Sullivan?" Lex said, a little louder than necessary. Chloe snapped out of it, and her grin widened.
"So...you want me to come with?" her voice shook with contained excitement.
"Yes" he said slowly.
"How much?" Chloe asked, cocking one eyebrow. Lex read her mind instantly.
"Not enough to do an interview, good bye" Lex rose, trying make a quick yet dignified exit. Chloe was quicker, she jumped up and blocked his exit. Lex raised his eyebrow
"This isn't the best way to proposition me" his hopes of embarrassing the girl were short-lived when Chloe stood her ground.
"Pleeeeeeease, I'll go to you party thingo, I'll wear the sluttiest dress, the most make-up, the biggest..." he held up his hand to silence her, but he looked pensive.
"If I do the interview, that's a big IF...I'll do it after the party...the one that you'll be attending, in the dress of my choosing"
"YES!" Chloe jumped, her head almost making contact with Lex Luthor's nose "You won't regret this!"
"All previous evidence collected seems to point your theory in the other direction, Ms Sullivan, but I'm sure you'll make the experience as pleasant as possible" he purposely made the last part sound sarcastic, but Chloe couldn't care less. The dream interview was hers, all she had to do was sacrifice a few hours on a Friday night...
"Ms Sullivan, as much as hate to pull you off of cloud 9 and put you back on the earth with the rest of the population, I need to get through the door, so if you'll excuse me" she stepped aside and he walked gracefully out the door, not looking back once.
"Wait, what time is it?" she yelled to his retreating back, he didn't turn around.
"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty, the dress will be around at five" and without another word, he was gone.
Author: take phat (smallobeed@hotmail.com)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Who'd be dumb enough to think I own them? PS No offence to people who think I do.
Spoilers: Nope, this is kinda AU, but not really
Pairing: Chloe/Lex
Archive: Yes please, just tell me where it's going :- )
Genre: Romance/Humour
Chapter 1: Battle of the wits
"Ms Sullivan" Lex greeted slinkily as he strode through the door.
Chloe masked her shock with an annoyed glare, normally she would welcome company into the solitude of the Torch office, but that was only when she wasn't knee deep in work that was due tomorrow. Besides, she wasn't ready for company. Her hair was done up in a sloppy ponytail, small wisps escaped the well-worn hair lackey and tickled her face annoyingly. She attempted to speak but the pencil lodged in her jaw made it difficult so she spat it out
"Mr Luthor" she mimicked. Lex was unfazed by her obviously irritated mood and sat lazily in a chair behind her.
"I don't recall telling you to sit down" Chloe pretended to return to her typing, aware of his gaze on her.
"I don't recall asking" Lex replied easily, his famous smirk in place.
"Unlike yourself Mr Luthor, some people have to work, so could you please let me get on with this?" It was more a request than a question, but Lex didn't budge.
"If your like this to all you're your guests Ms Sullivan, I'm surprised it isn't swarming with visitors"
"I'm not like this to ALL my guests MR LUTHOR, just condescending, obnoxious, billionaires who think they own the world" Chloe spat, Lex's smirk deepened
"Obnoxious? You wound me, Ms Sullivan" Lex drawled, his eyes ran over her body slowly and obviously before returning to her face. Chloe felt self- conscious about her haggard appearance, but she didn't want to give him satisfaction of knowing he got to her.
"Yes, I'm sure you'll be crying yourself to sleep tonight" Chloe muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
He shook his head, a small trace of a smile on his lips "Enough with the pleasantries Ms Sullivan, I suppose you're wondering why I've dropped by"
"Clark isn't here" she said, trying in vain to return to her typing.
"Actually, I came here specifically to see you" this caught Chloe's attention, she swivelled around to face him.
"Me? What d'you want with me?" Chloe asked suspiciously, searching his face for an answer.
"A night of your company" Lex answered carelessly, Chloe's eyes widened. 'A night of her company'? Like a date?
"Like a date?" she questioned, Lex chuckled softly.
"Don't get your hopes up, Ms Sullivan. It's just a party, I'd like you to attend it as my guest"
"So, like a date" Chloe repeated, Lex shrugged.
"In a way, yes. But in a slightly more accurate way, no" Chloe shook her head.
"Well? What are you calling it?" Chloe asked impatiently. Lex's forehead crinkled in thought
"A non-date" he concluded, Chloe's mouth twitched in a restrained smile, and she returned to her keyboard.
"What is exactly required on this 'non-date'?" Chloe sighed, speedily typing up a paragraph on something to do with the school computer lab.
"You. Make up. Tight dress" Chloe blushed a little, but managed to stay focused.
"Sorry. No"
Lex frowned and pulled his chair closer "Come on, why not?"
"Why? Can't you call an escort service or get one of your monthly bimbos to join you?" Lex smiled sardonically at Chloe's choice of words, but went on.
"I had a date arranged, but she cancelled in the last minute"
"Imagine that" Chloe snorted, Lex continued as though he hadn't heard.
"It's tonight and it's too late to get anyone else"
"Why don't you go on your own?" Chloe questioned, her brow furrowing
"Me? Alone at a party? My own, no less. I'm sure it'll be all over the paper by morning 'Lonely Lex Luthor: Is he gay?'" Lex emphasised his point with the predicted headline. Chloe laughed disbelievingly.
"You're conceited" Chloe stated, completing yet another paragraph.
"No, I'm realistic" he corrected "So, are you coming?"
"I don't know..."
"Come on. I guarantee you'll enjoy yourself" Chloe heard the most minuscule amount of pleading in his voice, she turned to face him with a Cheshire grin on her face, it's enormousness threatened to split her face in two. He needed her. This thought alone caused her mouth to fill with saliva and her eyes to glaze over. Oh, the possibilities! Lex noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she had a dreamy look on her face. He grew worried because the only reason he knew she was alive was because of the slight rising and falling of her chest. But he wasn't worried for her, he was worried for himself.
"Uh...Ms Sullivan?" Lex said, a little louder than necessary. Chloe snapped out of it, and her grin widened.
"So...you want me to come with?" her voice shook with contained excitement.
"Yes" he said slowly.
"How much?" Chloe asked, cocking one eyebrow. Lex read her mind instantly.
"Not enough to do an interview, good bye" Lex rose, trying make a quick yet dignified exit. Chloe was quicker, she jumped up and blocked his exit. Lex raised his eyebrow
"This isn't the best way to proposition me" his hopes of embarrassing the girl were short-lived when Chloe stood her ground.
"Pleeeeeeease, I'll go to you party thingo, I'll wear the sluttiest dress, the most make-up, the biggest..." he held up his hand to silence her, but he looked pensive.
"If I do the interview, that's a big IF...I'll do it after the party...the one that you'll be attending, in the dress of my choosing"
"YES!" Chloe jumped, her head almost making contact with Lex Luthor's nose "You won't regret this!"
"All previous evidence collected seems to point your theory in the other direction, Ms Sullivan, but I'm sure you'll make the experience as pleasant as possible" he purposely made the last part sound sarcastic, but Chloe couldn't care less. The dream interview was hers, all she had to do was sacrifice a few hours on a Friday night...
"Ms Sullivan, as much as hate to pull you off of cloud 9 and put you back on the earth with the rest of the population, I need to get through the door, so if you'll excuse me" she stepped aside and he walked gracefully out the door, not looking back once.
"Wait, what time is it?" she yelled to his retreating back, he didn't turn around.
"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty, the dress will be around at five" and without another word, he was gone.