Kenny smiles to himself as he sits with his friends at lunch. Kyle and Stan are having a normal conversation about whatever television show they are watching this week, and Cartman is once again bitching about Heidi. But Kenny's focus is on a boy two tables away. He watches the boy in the blue chullo as he stuffs his face with nachos, the boy next to him obnoxiously flying a taco around like an airplane.
Donovan obscures Kenny's view for a moment and he scrunches his freckled nose in frustration. He watches Clyde fly the taco past Craig's face again, which annoys him to no end and has him glaring at the brunet. Across from them is Tweek, the small blond talking in an animated fashion, and Kenny follows Craig's gaze, trying to ignore how intently the green eyed boy focuses on Tweek.
It's not until Cartman so rudely snaps his fingers in front of his face that Kenny stops watching them and pays attention to the conversation Cartman is attempting to have with him. "Ay' Kenny? Are you even listening to me? I said, we need to kill Heidi."
Kenny gives him a weird look before he speaks, "No you don't, dude. Just tell her you have to, like, practice for a gaming tournament? Say you're in some new league or something."
Cartman lights up at the idea, going on about how good he'd be in this theoretical league and how he would make sure Kyle and other people of Jewish descent would be disqualified from being on his team. Kenny ignores whatever he's going on about in favor of watching Craig again. As he turns to the other's table, his face flushes when their eyes meet. Quickly, to cover up that he was in fact staring, Kenny narrows his eyes and sticks out his tongue childishly.
Upon noticing Kenny's actions, Cartman follows his eyes and laughs loudly, flicking off Clyde. "Fuck you, Donovan!"
Clyde's attention pulls away from the taco he is about to ingest, his eyes snapping to the other table. The smile falls from his face almost immediately. "Um, excuse me? Fuck you, dude!" the brunet yells back dramatically.
Craig blocks out the shouting match that ensues, eyes still trained on the sandy blond across the room, a frown creasing his brow.
As Cartman and Clyde shout at each other across the cafeteria, Kenny pulls his hood over his head and closes it up so all he can see is a small window. In that window he can still watch Craig without anyone noticing, his cheeks on fire as he goes back to daydreaming about how attractive the dark haired boy at the other table is. The taller boy's piercing green eyes are narrowed at his group and it is such an embarrassing turn on that he has to shift in his seat.
"Man, what is Craig's problem? He keeps glaring at you, dude," Stan mentions as he eats another french fry. Beside them, Cartman is getting progressively louder as he and Clyde start to throw food across the cafeteria.
Craig rolls his eyes, flipping off Kenny and his friends before turning back to Clyde and wrestling him back into his seat with the help of Token. "They're not worth it Clyde, calm down."
A sigh leaves Kenny's lips as the bell rings to clear out the cafeteria. He watches Craig and Tweek leave happily together after gathering a still seething Clyde. A pulse of jealousy rears angrily through his body as he watches Craig take the shorter boy's hand in his. The two of them have been dating since the fourth grade, he should be used to watching this. But this stupid crush he has developed over the years isn't helping the situation.
Walking through the halls, he pauses every once in a while to speak to a couple of his friends scattered about before he rushes off to make to his classroom before the bell rings. His last class is a free period and it just happens to be his favorite. Why? Because he can stare at Craig Tucker from the back of the classroom and no one will notice or say anything about it. With a wistful sigh, he pulls his hood down, slipping his jacket off, and makes himself comfortable. Kenny reaches into his backpack and snatches his book of the week, waiting for Craig to take his normal seat.
As if on cue, the noirette walks into the room, slipping his backpack from his shoulder and sliding fluidly into his seat near the window. He absently shoves up the sleeves of his hoodie, digging around in his backpack for a notebook and pencil.
This is, objectively, the best part of Kenny's day. Resting his cheek on his hand, he allows one of his crooked smiles to spread across his face. Craig was everything Kenny wanted in a guy. Not just his looks alone, but his personality, too; he was a straight-shooter and said what was on his mind. He did what he wanted, and he made no excuses for being who he was. Let's be real though, it wasn't like Craig Tucker hadn't aged well over the years. The descriptors tall, dark, and handsome just did not do him justice.
Looking down, he flicks through Ender's Gameand checks his phone. He's received a few text messages from his friends but nothing to distract him from staring a hole in the back of Tucker's head. Kenny wets his lips before he flicks his blue eyes back up to watch the boy some more.
Finally finding the pencil that had evidently sunk to the bottom of his bag, Craig looks up in Kenny's direction, green eyes quizzical. He raises his hand, in a sort of 'dude what the fuck' gesture, maintaining eye contact with the boy at the back of the class.
Oh shit. He's been caught. Luckily, Kenny knows how to deal with this. It happens sometimes, getting his hands caught in the proverbial cookie jar. It's time to look blasé.
Kenny shifts his sappy, honest smile into a flirtatious one, lifting his hand to do a little finger wave. Normally when he does things like this, people roll their eyes and continue on with life as if nothing has changed. He's had to do this before when Craig's caught him, so it's time to pretend once again. It isn't exactly anything new since it is his favorite defense mechanism.
Craig reaches back into his backpack, fumbling with its contents before pulling both of his hands out in unison, each sporting a raised middle finger.
The blond is so shocked he loses his facade as a laugh bubbles out of him.
The corner of Craig's mouth twists up in a barely-there smile before he turns to face the front again, leaning over his notebook.
Kenny's heart pounds in his chest, his face dusting pink over his freckled skin. Did Craig just smile at him?His heart can't take it. The taller boy doesn't talk to him much, let alone smile at him. For a moment he forgets how to breathe, and absently wonders how Tweek deals with being in such close proximity to the noirette so often.
Instantly, that thought twists the warm feeling in his chest into the roaring gnaw of jealousy, which makes him drop his eyes to his book once more. He absently notices the other kids filing into the room and taking their seats but finds he doesn't care.
As the desks around him start to fill up, Craig notices the blond move in his periphery.
Kenny has a nasty habit of staring, and as much as Craig makes a point to ignore it, he is veryaware. It doesn't make him uncomfortable, it's just annoying. Even more annoying is that he hasn't figured out exactly why. Not that he cares enough to ask. Dealing with Kenny McCormick and his horrible band of assholes has never been something he's wanted to pursue.
Instead, Craig opens up his notebook, shuffling papers around until he finds the homework he definitely doesn't want to be doing tonight. There's a Red Racermarathon on tonight that he and Tweek made plans to watch, and it doesn't matter if he's seen every episode a hundred times, because he wouldn't miss this for the world.
While Kenny attempts to get his emotions under wraps, one of the girls in his class decides that this is the best time to converse with him. He feels like he's suffocating, but he smiles sweetly through the pain and listens to her comments about the book he's reading.
The rest of the class passes by as normal, and Kenny files Craig's bewitching smile into his memory banks for future contemplation as he gathers his stuff and heads to his locker. He can see Tweek waiting for Craig outside the classroom and that angry feeling in his gut rears its head. As he's passing, he purposely knocks Tweek with his shoulder and produces the fakest smile he can muster.
"Whoops. Sorry there, Tweek," Kenny grits out behind his smile, blue eyes meeting aqua ones for the briefest of seconds.
Tweek's eyebrows rise in concern, pulling the textbook he's carrying to his chest as he takes a step back. "Y-yeah...it's fine, Kenny."
"Of course it is, Tweek. After all, it was just an accident," Kenny offers before he allows an equally fake laugh to leave his lips.
Craig all but materializes at Tweek's side, easily draping an arm over his boyfriend's shoulders. "You okay?"
It's almost unbearable to handle the look Craig is giving him, so Kenny darts his eyes away and doesn't even offer him a 'hello.'
That feeling in his stomach claws at him and if he wasn't so self aware he'd think it was a living alien trying to burrow its way out. But Kenny knows jealousy when he feels it. He attempts to smile like normal, but it's a twisted version of his real one, mangled and wrong.
"Let's just go, babe," Craig says coolly, steering the anxious blond away from Kenny, any trace of his earlier smile gone.
-
School ends and Kenny heads home like every other normal day. His home life is hectic, and like every night during the week, his father is drunk. Kenny decides to take a walk, grabbing a bag before ending up at the local convenience store. He buys a few snacks and makes the quick decision to go read in a quiet part of Stark's Pond. The blond heads down a familiar path as he sucks on a lollipop, biting at the hard candy with his back teeth.
Kenny smells the smoke before he sees who owns the cigarette and he laughs melodically, calling out to the interloper, "I smell someone smoking cheap cigarettes."
As he pushes some foliage out of the way, he regrets speaking. Craig leans against a tree at the edge of the pond, chullo pulled down as low as possible to shield the chill in the air. He sighs before raising a cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag and resting his head on the tree trunk at his back. At the rustling behind him, the noirette snaps his head around to look at the newcomer, and now Kenny is eye to eye with Craig Tucker. He thinks about beating a hasty retreat, slight panic thumping through his veins. But instead he tries to offer a weak grin.
"Oh, so you do go places without Tweek. I'm soooshocked." As the words leave his mouth, Kenny can feel that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He gets these feelings sometimes when he knows he's put his foot in his mouth.
Why am I like this?His chest tightens as he moves the sucker to his other cheek, eyes lifting to the sky and away from the noirette currently watching him.
Craig stares at Kenny, eyes widening a fraction before he settles back with only sight unease. "We had plans, but he couldn't make it," he offers, pointedly looking anywhere but the other boy.
Kenny, often, is struck by stupid ideas. Stupid ideas like wanting to reach out and brush the loose strands of hair that peeks out from under the chullo, brush them right out of those sad eyes. But the boy isn't as stupid as his brain seems to think he is, so he grips the bag he's holding tighter instead.
"So, you're out here heartbroken and smoking, huh?" Kenny offers, mentally kicking himself for bringing up Tweek yet again.
Huffing out a laugh, smoke curling lazily from his lips, Craig continues to avoid Kenny's eyes, instead appearing fascinated with rolling a rock through the snow at his feet. "Guess you could say that. Why do you give a shit, anyway?"
"I don't," Kenny lies smoothly before he walks over to the spot he had been coming to the park to enjoy. He pulls a thick blanket from his bag and lays it down on the ground before grabbing a fluffier one and covers himself with it. Kenny pulls out a thermos and sits it down next to his snacks and his book. That was the purpose of the bag he left in his closet, because it's days like this he's grateful for his 'dig-out' bag. Days when he needed to, for lack of a better term, 'dig-out'.
"So..." the blond opens the book and leans back against the tree, moving the sucker in his mouth. "Smoking? I never took you for an ash sucker. Does Tweek know?"
Craig regards the other with mild interest, watching Kenny make himself comfortable on the cold ground. "Don't tell him. I know you don't owe me anything, but please don't."
The blond's heart twists for many reasons; hearing the tone in which Craig is pleading with him, hearing the sweet sound of the word pleasecoming from those lips, but the most painful reason being fact that he clearly wanted to hide this from Tweek. Kenny felt bitter inside and bites at his sucker, fracturing it with one loud chomp. Craig is most likely attempting to protect Tweek from his bad habit and that pulls at Kenny's heart in a damaging way.
"Oh? What do I get out of this?" he hears himself say, and doesn't even realize he's said it until the words leave his mouth.
Taking another drag, the dark haired boy considers the question. After a moment, he shakes his head with a deep sigh, "I dunno, man. I don't have anything to offer."
For a moment, a very dark plot crosses Kenny's mind. What he could do with this blackmail, what he could get out of Craig. But just as soon as it comes, he dismisses it. The blond is pretty sure this building feeling in his chest that's been tightening like a vice grip for years has evolved from a simple crush, and there's no way he would taint that with blackmail. No way he would use anything against Craig just to get a moment of his time.
"You know. It's fine. I think this one's on me, I can keep it to myself," he supplies, biting the pieces of candy into even smaller fragments in his mouth.
Craig openly watches Kenny, flicking ash from the end of his cigarette. Something seems...off. He can't place exactly what it is and he tries not to think too hard about the way his stomach is twisting at the expression on the blond's face. "...Thanks. I mean it."
"Don't mention it." Kenny shrugs. He notices that the snow is falling again as it hits his hair, but he lets it stay there. Kenny is an old friend to this spot, having done this several times in the past and he's used to the weather in this area. A little bit of snow won't kill him.
Reaching in his bag, he grabs a bag of chips and shakes them at Craig, cracking a smile. "If you're gonna stand there you might as well have a snack. Here," the blond tosses the bag in Craig's direction.
Catching the bag, Craig's lips pull into a small smile. "Thanks. Since when are you not a total asshole?"
Kenny's heart does some weird sort of gymnastics in his chest and Jesus, there's that smile. Two times in a day? He isn't sure he'll be able to handle it if Craig keeps being nice to him. Kenny's chest tightens until it's almost unbearable, and he lets out a laugh that sounds strange even to his own ears. "I think around eighth grade?"
"Guess I never noticed," Craig replies softly, taking a step forward and plopping down on the blanket beside Kenny.
It shocks him when Craig sits next to him; he feels like he should scoot over and give him more room, but he's so close and he can feel his body heat.
"I don't think many people have," Kenny mutters before returning his focus to his book. He turns a page and tries to pull his attention back to the words below him and less on the fact that if he closes his eyes, he can hear Craig's soft breathing.
The shorter boy opts to try for a conversation. "What were…y'all gonna do?"
Craig shifts around to get comfortable, pulling his legs closer to his chest and settling with his arms propped up on his knees. He sighs again, ignoring that his cigarette is quickly burning down to the filter. "We were going to watch the Red Racer marathon."
"I love that show, man. I remember watching it with Stan and Kyle. They stopped after a while but I still watch it with Karen on Fridays." The blond sounds sincere as he turns a page in his book. "It's a shame he was too busy."
"Yeah..." Craig hunches over his knees a bit further, closing himself off, "It's my favorite." He taps more ash off the end of the cigarette, careful to keep it away from the blanket.
Kenny feels emboldened by this interaction and presses on, "What was so important that he dodged his boyfriend?" The word boyfriendfeels dirty on his tongue, but he tries to ignore it.
Craig hates that his first impulse is to tell Kenny everything. To say that's it's been an act, that Tweek isn't in a position to handle romantic love right now and doesn't know if he even can, that Craig is justhis best friend, and that despite everything, he's stupidly in love with Tweek. "He had therapy today."
The honesty coming from Craig takes his breath away, Kenny's chest tightening and his lungs feeling as if they wouldn't move even if he willed them to. Kenny can tell that this is a very delicate situation and he doesn't want to fuck it up, so he tries his best to be sincere.
"How is he?" He pauses to glance at Craig briefly, trying not to look as nervous as he undoubtedly feels. After he asks, he presses the next more important question, "How are you doing?"
"He's doing a lot better," Leaning back against the tree, Craig closes his eyes. "Doesn't really matter how I'm doing, I...really just want to help him. However, I can."
Before the blond can stop himself, he rolls his eyes and the words fall out. "Well, that's pretty fucking stupid. Of course, it matters how you're doing." Kenny freezes, realizing he might have just crossed a line.
Craig cracks an eye open at that, "That so?" He huffs out a sigh, and man, he was doing an awful lot of that today, wasn't he? "I'm not trying to be dramatic, sorry."
"Dramatic? Ha. I hang out with Kyle, you sound perfectly fine," Kenny barks out a soft laugh, thinking of his friend.
"I mean, you're not wrong," Craig's smile is back. He's still wary of the other boy, but maybe Kenny isn't as bad as the assholes he calls friends. "But I'm...okay, I guess."
"It's okay to not be," Kenny retorts and he wonders to himself what karma he's built up to be sitting here quietly reading while Craig flicks through his phone. They sit there together in comfortable silence and though it may not mean much to Craig, that time feels so special to Kenny and he knows he'll cherish this moment forever.
"So," Craig breaks the calm after he starts running into the same Facebook posts again on his phone, "what brings you out here?"
Kenny could lie, but he decides to be honest since this may be his only chance to talk openly like this to Craig. "I come out here a lot. Karen's at a friend's house and my mom's at work. Dad gets pretty drunk and he's... not very nice when he drinks."
"I...get that," Craig mutters in response.
The blond frowns as he turns to the noirette with a question in his eyes, "What?"
Craig shrugs a shoulder, pulling his knees closer to his chest. "My dad can be an asshole sometimes."
Kenny's heart breaks, putting his book down so he can look directly at Craig, his throat tightening.
"Yeah. Mine too." He pauses, "You can always come here and hang out to get away."
Craig's quiet for a moment, looking out over the pond. "Okay."
A quiet, "...Thanks," follows and Kenny wishes he didn't hear the broken emotions behind that single word.