Arizona was just getting out of the hospital, ready to go home, or whatever that place was, without Callie in it the place felt cold and unfamiliar.
She just got out of the main building's doors and saw a couple hugging tightly. They were pretty farther away from her but she could manage that woman form everywhere. Callie and Mark were standing in the cold night hugging tightly, Arizona wasn't sure but Callie's face seemed to twitch in pain and marks eyes were closed.
She wished she could be the one holding Callie like that again, embracing her closely, and helping her. But she knew better. She was the reason Callie was like this from the first place, so broken and hopeless, and she wanted to die because of that.
She knew Callie was staying at mark and that the three were practically heading the same building, but she preferred to walk there, not wanting to make things worse and knowing well that mark won't let her anywhere near her latina.
She left quickly after gazing at their profound hug and walked to her apartment, taking her time. Lately, she found herself wanting to run against a wall. She was so stupid, so so stupid. She hurted the one person she loves most, by being the stupidest girlfriend ever. She was drunk and some girl came and before she knew it, she woke up naked. She wanted Callie back more than anything, it has been almost a month since and Callie always seems to be barely hanging. Always sitting on the swing, every day she seems different. One day she laughs and hangs with her close friends, and the next she has dark circles under her eyes and she's isolating herself as much as she can. Arizona might not have been in touch with her, but she has eyes, the blonde always searches for the Latina, just to see her, and it never ceases to break her heart how further away they are from each other and how her Latina is doing. She hasn't failed to notice that her Latina has lost a significant amount of weight, not in the bad/unhealthy way, but she just sees it, and she looks always so beautiful that it takes her breath away.
Arizona finally reached her building, rushing to her door so she won't run into Callie or Mark, she got in, dropped the keys and went to shower, and with hope it would make her feel better.
Xxx
"Come on, we both know you love pasta. Eat it or I'll make you." Mark threatened Callie, knowing she would find it as a challenge. Usually, she would eat or feel the need to make him make her eat it just for teasing, but she wasn't feeling it today. She had a nightmare last night and she hadn't gotten any sleep after that. Besides, seeing the blonde looking at then last night only made her miss her and feel more hurt.
Every time she felt like she's going forward, getting better, something would happen and bring her back to the painful start.
"Hey guys" Addison came and tore Callie out her thoughts. She sat between Mark and Callie, so they were facing each other.
Callie and Mark smiled to her and quickly started a small talk about her joining the hospital. She had gotten extremely close to Mark and Callie from the day she arrived here, she had known them before and so when she arrived here two weeks ago she teamed up with them and never left their side ever since. The three were getting closer with each hang out. Her and Mark had a silent agreement to keep an eye on Callie and hold her together at any time. She knew the state Callie was is, she wanted to help her, to make her happy again, and with her and Mark she hoped they would make it.
"So, I think we should do an eating contest, and the winner gets to" Mark started and paused to think of a prize that would get Torres to eat. "The winner would get to assist in my big surgery in two days." He noticed how lately Callie had distracted herself with work, and she had gotten impossibly good as well. Made miracles every day and being the only one not noticing it.
The second he said that he looked at Callie and saw how the dull eyes winded up and sparkled and that's when he knew he hit the jackpot. "Oh and also the winner comes to my place to eat pizza as well." He decided to add this, just to make her eat dinner as well.
The contrast began and they all ate like horses while laughing. A few close friends joined to watch and Mark's plan worked out perfectly because both he and Addison lost to the Latina, who was beaming with excitement to assist the surgery she wanted to be in for forever.
They all laughed and cleaned their faces and clothes who were dirty from the pasta sauce. "I guess I'm paying for the pizza tonight?" Addison asked amused, turning her head from a beautiful Latina to the laughing and proud man who nodded in reply.
After talking some more with Meredith and Christina who joined the table while the contest, Callie's pager went off and she had to leave, noticing blue eyes following her every step. She was so tempted to turn her head and look into those blue eyes that were bearing holes inside if her, but she knew it would only hurt her. Her small smile fell and she walked away, getting into the elevator and looking up, to see from a table far away the blue eyes looking directly at her, she looked back with empty eyes and then the doors closed, letting her the space to feel for just a second. She released the breath she was holding ever since their eyes met and went out, pulling her work mask on.
When she finished the 4 hours surgery, which she rocked as well. She went out, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. She went outside even though her shift had still a few hours left and took a place on a wooden bench outside, taking in the cold air. She could feel the small drops of rain gathering on her but she didn't move, she loved the rain and she couldn't care less right now if she'd get sick of if she'd be wet. She was in too deep, she needed a break, and since a break for a few days was out of the question, she started doing this. Taking a break whenever she had a gap of free time and whenever the weather felt kind, and that was her routine of surviving the day. Taking a breather every now and then. Everyone who noticed she was taking these times knew not to bother her or come after her. This was her time with herself.
Arizona didn't want to call herself a stalker, but her eyes were never ceasing to search for her favorite Latina everywhere she went. When she wouldn't find her, she'd think of her, wonder where she is and what she's doing. She had no intention on reaching to her, but just seeing her was enough for now. She wanted more, she wanted her Calliope back, but she knew she needs time, time to overcome with she did to her. She hoped there was hope at all, but she won't ever get over Callie, that much she knew.
With time she kept on accidentally seeing Callie outside of the hospital on a certain bench, so she understood that if she doesn't find her, there is a chance she's there. Whenever she had a bad day, she'd go there too, but to a different one, a hidden bench that wasn't even visible in the dark, she'd just sit there, and if Callie was there, than she'd just sit, and look at her, sometimes crying, sometimes refilling her powers by looking at the Latina relaxing. And today was no different. She went outside, but unlike other days, she saw the Latina sitting on the bench, her eyes closed and her head looking up, greeting the rain. She wanted to badly to come to her, to be near her and to share that moment with her. The Latina looked so sad, so hopeless, it brought tears to her eyes in a matter or seconds. She heard from the screaming gossip all over the hospital how Callie had rocked yet another surgery, people were talking about how she was on fire. She felt so proud, so happy for her. She expected to find Callie glowing and beaming with joy and pride, but instead she found a hopeless, sad woman with slumped shoulders, looking like she's waiting for the sky to take her away.
She knew well from the whole year they have been girlfriends that the latina had an emotional limit, and that after that limit, all hell broke loose. There were those little triggers that got to her once in a while, make her incredibly sad or depressed. But with the blonde always there and nothing too significant happening, she was okay. And right now, the blonde knew the limit of the latina had been crossed, and she knew the latina was going through hell right now.
The rain was getting stronger and stronger, with every few steps she took to her car she expected to look back and see the Latina running back to the hospital, but when she looked back, she saw the latina only moved her hair from her face, but she didn't care about the rain, about her being wet, about the tears that mingled with the rain, she didn't care anymore, and it scared Arizona. She swallowed the lump in her throat and left, needing to relax as well, and since her shift was over, she headed home, wishing someone would help Callie out of her misery, wishing it could be her.
The next day, when Arizona came into the cafeteria of the hospital, she saw Mark and Addison sitting alone talking, a few of her friends and standing in line, the glorious Latina she dreamt on last night, like every passing night.
She checked her out profoundly, wanting to notice every single visible change. She was wearing blue tight jeans that had Arizona's mouth water, she always loved her legs. A grey plain shirt that closed around her neck and a black sweater. She might look modest and sloppy, but just her features were making her look super-hot. Her curves and her full breasts, they might be hidden, but just the form of her body did magic to Arizona. She saw that the loved black hair of the Latina grew longer and now it reaches a bit after her breasts, her hair looked so soft and beautiful, falling in soft long waves until it's end, not straight but not curly. That was her natural hair, everything about Callie lately was the closest to the way she looked when she was natural, right after a shower. Her face almost make up free, her hair flowing around her, her clothe, everything was relaxed and free, as if she was doing it all for herself. Trying to make herself feel the best with herself.
She also noticed how everything about Callie was thinner, her legs, her hands, and her face even. She saw how the pants and shirt seemed to be hanging just a bit loose on her body. She was dying from trying to restrain her lust and her feelings but just the knowledge of the Latina losing weight hurted her, even if it only flattered her, it made her know more about the Latina's condition out of the hospital as well, and it hurted her more than she could imagine. She saw how her eyes seemed empty at times, or sad at other times, but only for seconds. Callie had the most expressive eyes and she was always so drawn to them, but seeing they were empty told her something. She once heard from a friend who went to therapy that her therapist said that with some people, the more they feel, the harder it is- the more they hide, the more they seem indifferent and empty, when there's actually a storm inside of them.
"Get a gripe blondie. You're losing it." A female voice from behind tore her never ending thoughts and she spun around to find Christina with a smirk. "You've been standing here staring at her for what? Five whole minutes, people are starting to see, including her." The two last words made Arizona spin back around to see the black haired girl settling in the chair with her friends, her eyes looking at her and her cheeks flushed more than usual.
Arizona sighed and went to the line, she couldn't live with that Latina, looking so so breathtakingly beautiful, she was sure it would kill her one day. She looked at their desk and saw Addison looking at her as well. She rolled her eyes and left with her coffee.
The second she was out of the cafeteria and lost sight of Callie, she felt someone grabbing her arm and stopping her in place. She looked to who was holding her angrily.
"What?" She spat and released her hand. "I want to talk to you about something." Addison said seriously, with a stern look that told Arizona there was no way out of it. She spun around signaling the light brown to follow. They went into an empty room and sat on two chairs in front of each other. Arizona waited for Addison to start, raising her eyebrow to signal her to start. "You know nothing do you?" Arizona narrowed her eyes in anger. Opening her mouth to speak but Addison spoke first. "Look Arizona, i respect you and all, but you must know that you have no clue what's going on with her. You know what George did to her, you know, cheated on her... Did you know that after that, she was so different, so sad, and she didn't even love him. She would see herself as worth noting, she was embarrassed, she hid from the world, drank her hurt. Ever since then, she had such a hard time trusting. She guarded her heart and her feeling so much that it would take a freaking miracle to make her loose her grip on her defenses. And then you came all shining armor and fazed her, you brought her true self back, she trusted you, she smiled and laughed and was just herself, having a good time from every day. She was convinced you were the one, she gave you her locks and chains, letting you in. But guess what happened next, you cheated in her as well. And now, it's even worse because it's someone who she loved, truly loved. And now, it's a freaking war to get her to be okay. She sees so little of herself, because in her mind, being twice cheated on says she's worth nothing, that everyone deserves better, she feels like nothing, like a piece of stumped on gum, she doesn't even see the rock star she is in the OR, she feels ugly and she wants to be alone, she is too tired or sad to eat hence her weight loss, she barely laughs or smiles at heart, she is trying to get better but she keeps on isolating herself, keeps on taking these breaks outside, crying it out in an on call room. You don't need to flatter yourself, yes she is hurting over you, but you are only one of her problems now. Her feelings, her heart, her everyday life is tremendously different, she is broken, but Mark and I will fight until our deaths to have her back, she is too much of a person to drown in that sadness and lose herself, which she is just so close to. I guess you know her, that tendency she always had when it comes to her mood, always on the edge.
When she's drunk she talked about you or says a stupid sentence and laughs because she says it's something you would say, but even when drunk she gets sad, she is lonely, she is going through something a lot bigger than ever before, and to tell you the truth, we are scared we'd lose her to that, that she won't move on. She knows well that other woman won't take the sadness away, so she just shuts down, closes on the inside, not even trying to feel better. She is making small tiny baby steps, like today, she just gave a fuck and came as she likes, no formal way, no need to please any prying eyes, and I can tell she's feeling more freed, more open, she is finally making progress, even if it's tiny, but if you reach out to her, damn, you better watch out, we'll crush you, she is fighting for her life and one wrong move would break her. I can see you still want her, and she does too, and if you two being together again is the right move, then you need to know what you're stepping into, you need to know that her trust is more guarded than it has ever been, she is scared to love. More than anything, she is scared to feel. I thin-"
By now Arizona was a river of tears, sobbing with every new information she got on her love. Addison had to rush out because of a patient crushing, but Arizona stayed the same, not stopping to cry, her shirt was becoming wet but she couldn't stop. She wanted to scream, she wanted to take Callie's pain away and put it inside of her if she needed, and she felt angry at herself, for being so blind and fucking stupid. She would do everything she has, to make calliope smile and laugh at heart. She was going to fight.
xxxxx
It's been a week and the only time Arizona and Callie were talking was when they shared a case. Arizona would try to expand their subject to more than the surgery plan, but Callie kept on answering quickly and rushing away. It got Arizona mad, she didn't know what to do. One second she felt with every nerve in her body the dark brown eyes looking at her but the second their eyes collide, she'd look away, act like the blonde wasn't there.
Days without seeing each other were torture, for Callie they were mingled with relief as well but it was always a rush seeing each other, no matter the negative feelings that were mingled with it.
In Arizona's perspective, Callie seemed to be doing better, she laughed more, smiled more, wasn't always alone in one of her 'breaks' on the bench. But unlike forever, today Callie seemed mad, she seemed angry and furious and the blonde hadn't seen that emotion in months.
Callie was walking the halls with a frown and tight fists. Heading towards a certain goal who happened to look like a tall blond muscular man with blue eyes, goes by the name Mark. When she traced him at the cafeteria, there were too many people for her liking to see the confrontation she had in mind, including the now staring Arizona. She wasn't planning on beating him up, she loved him too much for that, but she was pissed. She came to his table who was just near the blonde, she reached to him knowing full well Arizona was listening but too much red of anger in her eyes made her not care. "Mark, on call-room, now. Sorry Ash but i need to talk to this one." She replied fast and angrily, noticing the blue eyes looking at her with a frown, as well as Mark's blue eyes. "What the hell Torres?!". "Don't Torres me, now come!" She grabbed his wrist and took him away, knowing full well he could get out of her hold easily.
Once they got it, she released his hand and stepped in front of him. "Why the fuck have you been telling people i'm a weak wounded animal. What the hell. I'm not a baby, i don't need anyone's pity or careful words. YOU know better than to do that."
Mark's confusion turned into understanding as he lowered his head guiltily. "I know i know i'm sorry cal, but i mean, you've been a wreck, i was just trying to make things easier on you. Me and Addison were guarding your every step and really doing everything we could to take you out out that dark hole you've been burying yourself into. The last thing we wanted is for you to lose yourself like before." Mark said to her softly, trying to calm the latin genes. Which he succeeded since she was looking at him with soft eyes and a slight smile that grew even more once their eyes met.
"I was planning on releasing all this anger at you, but how could i possibly be angry, you've done it all for my wellbeing. I wasn't dumb, i noticed how you two sugar coated me, always there by my side when i needed you and not. I really really appreciate it, i mean it Mark. Thank you. You officially passed the hardest test of being a friend and i am thankful to have you." She came closer to him and hugged him. "You're my brother. But you better not take away my 'badass' title again" She whispered to him while hugging, which only got him to hug her even tighter and laugh. When they pulled away she nudged his ribs lightly, "Just so you know, i would have done the same for you." She said with a smile, both heading towards the door. "You're my family cal." He smiled to her. She replied with a big smile and laughed while opening the door. "Since when did you became so mushy?" She went out and both headed slowly to the cafeteria. Taking their sit in the same table she just took him from, only now it was empty. They eated a bit, or at least, Callie ate a bit. The last month Callie lost a significant amount of hunger, she just ate when she was told to or when she forgot to eat for almost a whole day and felt her body crying for help.
She noticed the wondering glances from the blond who was just in front of her. She was about to smile to her when she caught her staring for too long, and her mouth even started to twitch until she noticed a nurse joining the blonde on the table and after their gazes met again, her smile long gone and so is her attention. The blonde wanted to scream to the world, she noticed Callie's mouth about to smile, the first progress, but that stupid nurse just had to come and ruin it. She couldn't help but wonder if Callie thought she was sleeping with the nurse, and she knew if Callie thought that, her chances with her were as far away as the chances of a ray of sun in the middle of winter, almost nonexistent. She was so angry that she just left the nurse to eat alone almost the minute she came and made up some excuse about her needing to do a consult.
After that she hadn't seen Callie for three whole days. Beside in her dreams, of course. She had the next day off, Callie had the day after that off and the day after, she heard Callie called in sick. Knowing Callie was a few steps away from her, literally, hadn't made it any easier. The temptation only growing with the second and she wanted to see how Callie was doing, but she knew Mark wouldn't be pleased, if he'll let her in at all. So she made herself busy, decided to finally clean the kitchen drawers, something Callie always said that was needed to be done. After an hour, a few small knocks on her door tore her away from the cleaning and she rushed to the door and opened it without even asking who it was. She was more than surprised to find Callie standing there, with a size too big black sweater that she held tightly to and dark grey sweat pants. She had a slight frown in her eyebrows and her eyes seemed to have a hard time looking wide as usual. After the shock, Arizona's senses kicked in and she noticed how pale the latina looked, and the fact she was shivering from cold. She was about to start talking but the latina cutted her. "I really didn't want to do this, but I'm super sick and Mark has nothing left for my fever, do you have something in here to give me?" She groaned when she felt herself losing balance and held the door frame to hold herself. "God Calliope you look like you're about to faint, sure i have something. Do you mind coming in? You can sit while i search something to give you." Arizona knew she was playing with fire by asking that, and of course she wanted Callie around for more than that second outside her apartment, so why not.
Callie seemed to ponder that thought, but when she felt like she was about to fall out of low pressure, she sighed 'sure' and stepped in quickly to the couch she knew all too well. The second she sat, she let her head back and she sighed and closed her eyes, trying to calm her body from the sickness. Arizona was so drawn to her, she wished she could jump on her or cuddle but she just said quietly that she'd come any second and rushed to her medicine drawer to bring something for the latina.
Callie felt both sick and anxious, she wanted to cry, hearing Arizona call her by her full name had her almost falling due to her already weak body. She felt so bad right now she needed someone to help her and since Mark wasn't home to help her fever she knew this was her only option. She was even too tired to look for her phone.
Callie heard footsteps again and water, imagining the blonde giving her a glass of water to go with the pill. Before she knew it, the footsteps were coming closer until silence. She knew Arizona was just in front of her, setting herself in front of her on the couch and prepping the pill with the water. "Calliope." Arizona whispered softly to Callie, making her open her eyes. She was still not used to the close proximity and felt the need to get closer and further away from the blonde. She took the pill from the blonde's hand, feeling thunders with their hands touched and putted the pill in her mouth. She then took the glass from Arizona's hand, yet again feeling electricity when their hands touched and she drank. Very aware to Arizona not looking at anything else but her every action.
She lifted her eyes and met the sparkling blue eyes that used to change her world. For the first time in weeks, she noticed the little things on the blonde, after all this time from only seeing each other from afar. She noticed that right now Arizona was looking at her with concern and affection. She had light dark circles around her eyes, her hair was loose and a bit curly, framing her face beautifully. She looked behind the blond to find open and disconnected drawers with all their stuff laying out. She laughed lightly and smiled genuinely. She shook her head slowly with a smile tugging her lips. "Finally cleaning those drawers hah? It's about time." She said to Arizona with a small chuckle, not being able to hold her slight smile. Smiling even more when she saw the blonde's lips laughing out loud in surprise. "Yea, it is about time. I was bored and tried to distract myself." From you, she thought but kept that detail to herself. Callie replied with twitching her lips and let her head fall on the couch again, waiting for the pills to kick in.
Arizona kept on looking at her, wanting to remember every single detail in case they won't be in a situation like this again. "I have soup, my grandma's-" She was in the middle on the sentence but stopped when Callie's eyes broke open, she wasn't sure if she said something wrong but the second she saw the look in Callie's eyes she knew she said the right thing. She smiled slightly, trying her best not to break into a huge grin. "I'm not even hungry but i can't say no to that soup." Callie replied with a matching smile. "Good, you need to eat. You've lost weight you know..." Not being able to hold her concern anymore. "I know, everyone keeps telling me that. I just don't work with food lately. I mostly just forget to eat, which is just stupid." She replied with a shrug, trying to make it lighter than it was, but she knew the blonde knew better.
"Calliope... How are you?" Arizona breathed out, knowing the latina is going through a lot. Callie opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. "I hate that question. Everyone keeps on saying that as well. They don't even care so why ask." She said and ended with letting out a puff of air. She felt a bit dazed from the fever, which made her tongue a little looser, which made her say words she has yet to confirm on saying out loud.
"I don't care about others, even though i know that practically everyone wants your best. And i care, more than anything." Arizona replied lightly, fearing that every additional word would chase the latina away from her.
Callie sighed, feeling her throat swallowing a lump of emotions. "I wish i could believe you Arizona. And i'm getting there, i'm better." She replied lightly, her voice husky from the sickness and her eyes still looking at the ceiling.
After a few seconds of silence she heard a strange voice coming out of the blonde near her, she turned her head and found a teary eyed blonde. It hurted more than she thought it would to see the blonde crying. "Arizona, you don't need to cry. It's..." She was about to say it's okay, but it wasn't and they both knew it, what the blonde did is not okay and Callie didn't trust her anymore. Without thinking, Callie raised her hand to cup the crying blonde's cheek as light as a feather, looking directly into her eyes. She saw all the emotions Arizona had in her eyes, from surprise to sadness to longing and neediness to missing and loving and back to sadness. "You should heat the soup, i missed it." Callie added gently, taking away her hand and encouraging the blonde with a small smile.
That woman was her ending, how did they found themselves in a situation where Callie is the one who ended up being hurt yet she is the one consoling Arizona. She couldn't help it, it was one thing to ask for a favor, or be angry at her, but when she saw Arizona like this, knowing Arizona didn't just cry out of nothing, she forgot about the rest and reached out to help her.
Arizona went to heat up the soup, wanting to read between the lines that Callie missed her as well as the soup, but after all, she practically crushed her, how could she miss her.
Arizona came back to the couch, taking Callie's hand, needing her touch to help her to talk. Callie looked at her straight in the eyes, feeling there was something the blonde was about to let out. "I'm sorry-" And before she knew it, new tears welled up in her eyes but she didn't care anymore, she had too much to say and now was her chance.
"I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry i am, i'm sorry i was so so stupid, i want to punch myself every second i'm not with you, knowing full well it's all my fault. It was the biggest mistake of my life and i am so sorry, for both of us, for ruining everything, for breaking your trust, for crushing you-" and with that she started sobbing and she couldn't form any words anymore. She looked at Callie who was holding her hand tightly, she was tearing as well. It only made her cry even harder. She thought she cried all the tears left to cry with all the tears she had spent all this lonely days, but now it all came rushing back, with all the guilt, sadness, longing.
Callie might have been hurting but she couldn't sit there with tears in her eyes and see the blonde break down so roughly in front of her. She took her hand and while stepping closer, putted the hand around her neck and hugged Arizona close, the blonde immediately added her other hand around Callie's neck and tightened the embrace impossibly closer. Having the latina all around her, in her touch, in her smell, both soothed her and made her cry more because she missed this so badly. Callie wasn't sure what to say that wouldn't be a lying promise, so she just held the blonde close and tried to overcome her own tears. After they calmed down, Callie was about to step away from the embrace but the blonde didn't let her, and held her even closer, their entire upper body attached. Callie predicted they won't break out of the embrace for a while, so she decided to talk in this situation.
"You didn't crush me Arizona. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm not dead or dying and that's all that matters. I will be okay, I already am better. Don't let me pull you down. What happened happened. And there is nothing to do about it." She heard Arizona sniffing and she knew she made her cry again.
"Do you hate me? Will you even be able to forgive me?" Arizona asked in the smallest, saddest voice that had Callie tightening her grip even more. "I wish I could hate you, it would have made things easier, but I'm not into easy, and I could never hate you. And about forgiving, i want to believe time is a good accessory in that department." She replied lightly. "Now let's go get that soup, I'm starving." She lied, but she needed the blonde to be okay, this was killing her, seeing the blonde so needy and sad got to her. Hearing the big breaths the blonde was taking, she waited in the embrace, letting the blonde pull out whenever she was ready. After maybe another minute the blonde finally broke out of the embrace, the latina immediately brushing her wet cheeks with her thumb. Callie rose from the couch to the kitchen, looking back at the blonde sitting there looking at her. She raised her eyebrow and immediately Arizona got up and prepared everything.
After making small chat and having a nice time while eating from the tasty soup, Callie got up, ready to leave. Arizona gave her more pills to have with her and they both headed towards the front door. Arizona looked down, trying to make a decision, finally, she decided. "Calliope? can.. can i .. can i have a.. a hug?" She looked down, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden. "Just one more time." She added, finally lifting her gaze to find her glorious latina with a loving smile but holding sad eyes. She reached out and opened her arms for Arizona to step in. And she sure did, the second she could she reached into Callie and closed every gap, her head in her shoulder, her nose touching her warm neck right under her face. Each breathed the other in, trying to make their nose remember the smell. Callie slowly loosened her hold and went backwards. Just before opening the door, she looked back. "Thank you Arizona." She said with a bittersweet feeling. Without thinking, Arizona replied the one thought that chased her that entire meeting, or more like the entire year. "I love you." Callie froze. After a few seconds of major tension, she stepped towards her, again swallowing a lump in her throat. She lifted her hand to Arizona's face, brushed the blonde's cheek lightly, looking lovingly into the blue pools of love, and then she spun around and left, in a second getting into Mark's apartment.
Finally able to let her feelings out without making Arizona even more sad. She sat on the couch and thought about the entire encounter. That is NOT what she had in mind when she went in a desperate move for some pills.
Arizona closed the door and wasn't sure what to feel. She wanted to burst into eternal sobbing because she was so freaking desperate for her latina, and wanted to cry as well because of losing her in the first place, but she also felt like jumping up and down, with now having more hope about them than she had ever since they broke apart. She knew she shouldn't hope too much again, she decided to let the future actions decide. Who knows, maybe Callie would forget about it the next day, or act as if it never happened. She hoped with dear life it wouldn't happen. She noticed it has been a few hours and she really needed to finish the cleaning and shower, even though the smell of the latina still lingered, she decided to shower later. Meanwhile, she reveled in the moment.
When Callie got to the hospital, she was immediately called to the chief's office. She knew she had no reason to worry, she was on fire and everyone could see it, she even got raised into head of department and so she knew it could be only good or not important.
When she got in she was met with a beautiful view of a woman's behind. The woman was tall, on red stilettos, wearing a skirt and the doctors white coat. From all she could see from behind, the woman was skinny and had a long hair, not as long as hers and it was brown reddish. When she coughed for attention, the unfamiliar doctor and the chief looked at her. The new doctor with a beaming smile and surprised look. Now, having the chance to look at her front, Callie noticed she was indeed beautiful, hot beautiful. She had long just a bit tanned legs, her face shaped with good texture or bones, big green eyes and the reddish hair looking even better from the front. She had red gloss that made her smile and lips more obvious and before she knew it they were shaking hands, taking that advantage to check each other out.
"You paged?" Callie got to business and faced the chief, who seemed very pleased.
"Yes, well Dr. Torres I wanted you to meet Dr. Audrey. She flew in from California today for a special case on a child, you know the case well, and she will replace Dr. Robbins since the patient is technically hers and she agreed to follow him here. So get to know each other, find a suitable plan for the surgery and rock." The chief said, making Callie chuckle, attempting not to laugh. "Great, bye chief." Callie said with the redhead following her steps.
After a little bit of talking Callie knew two things - that Dr. Audrey aka Jane, was very nice, funny and pretty, and - she was very gay and very into her. They parted ways, Jane needing to discuss Dr. Robbins about a few Peds issues that didn't involve Callie at all. They decided to meet up later to talk about the surgery plan.
Meanwhile, Arizona was rushing from kid to kid, finally when she had a second to breathe, some new doctor, Dr. Audrey, requested to talk to her. The second they covered the business chat, Dr. Audrey started asking questions about Callie. At the start Arizona thought it was because she will be doing the major surgery with her - which she was not pleased to hear, she will only be in the OR to assist. But she started talking about her beauty, and her smile, and her body and THAT got her attention. "Have you talked to her yet?" Arizona asked, trying to fish for information.
The redhead woman replied with a big smile. "Oh yes, at the chief's office. Wow, like seriously, i haven't seen something like that in like, ever. She is also so funny and nice. Can she get any better? i can't stop looking at her. How will i do the surgery?!" She asked as a rhetorical question that was supposed to make them laugh only that it made a certain blonde feel a green monster of jealousy inside of her. That redhead was hot, she was sure that Callie noticed it too. She suddenly felt anxious to see Callie, not being able to wait. "Well, i need to go meet her at her room, i guess I'll see you tomorrow? Wish me good luck?" She said amused. "In the surgery? i thought you said you were god?" Arizona replied amused as well. "No silly, with Dr. Torres, or should i call her Callie?" Arizona's smile froze, she tried her best to hide it, "Mmm maybe stick to Dr. Torres." She replied with a super fake smile and spun around, very noticing the fact she in fact hadn't wished her luck with Callie.
She hadn't seen any of the woman again that day and knew she'd see them tomorrow at the big surgery. The rest of the day rolled to it's end quickly and before she knew it, she was heading to clean her hands before entering the OR. When she got in she saw Callie washing her hands roughly like always. She smiled to her, getting a smile in reply. "Excited?" she asked, feeling already excited, even though it was more since seeing the latina. "A little, but it's supposed to roll well and Jane seems to be good at this so it should be easily done." Arizona twitched her eyebrow. "Jane?" She raised her eyebrow, having an idea who that name might belong to. "You know, Dr. Audrey." Callie replied nonchalantly. She went to put her gown and just before getting into the OR she turned around to the blonde, "I'll see you in there." She smiled and got in, the nurses preparing her. A second after that, Arizona went in as well, to find 'Jane' and Callie talking and laughing lightly.
It was time, the clock started and the 6 hours surgery began. Jane started, being the one to open the kid's chest, after a few minutes Callie stepped in and did her magic. The procedures she was doing were supposed to be very complicated yet she seemed to do them as easily as if she were taking blood out of a patient. It left the entire people in the observing room speechless including Arizona and Dr. Audrey. When she was done with the chest. Jane took her place and she moved to take care of his legs. Meanwhile, they started chatting, having small talk, making jokes, a few flirtations from the redheads, a few lecturing from Callie to a different surgery done at the same moment in a different OR. Arizona felt so angry, so jealous, the way the redhead was hitting on Callie, making Callie actually laugh, she could actually see the smile on Callie's face even though it was half hidden. When she was done with one leg, she got up, stretched, letting everyone look at her glowing figure and settled again, working on the other leg. Jane consulted with Arizona once in a while out of boredom, most of the work was done by Callie, but the redhead still had a long procedure to make as well. To their surprise, the kid started coding and Callie stepped into action, giving stern orders to people in a matter of seconds, calling Arizona to hold her scalpel, she quickly got in on the problem in the kid's chest and fixed it, hearing the sigh everyone was releasing after full 20 seconds of coding. Callie told Jane to watch out from touching a certain area again and took her scalpel back, thanking Arizona in a whisper. When the surgery was done, it was honorable and everyone clapped to the two surgeons. Callie reached her hand to shake the redhead's but she just took her into a surprising hug that make her laugh a bit and Arizona to be pissed, almost changing form into that green monster. Once they all got out of the OR and took off their surgery clothes, people were greeting Callie and shaking her hand, they all knew she rocked but she kept on surprising. Callie only in dark blue hospital t shirt and pants made Arizona all kinds of hot. She wanted Callie, she wanted to claim her and if not than at least crush Jane's thing towards the latina. She was about to reach out to Callie to talk to her but Jane arrived first. Unfortunately for Jane, Callie noticed Arizona heading towards her and was as well surprised by Jane. She, once again, grabbed the Latina in another hug, and now Callie was hugging the other woman, her face directly in front of Arizona, both looking at each other. Callie smiled apologetically at her, and walked away from the smothering embrace of the redhead. "Hey i have to discuss a serious matter with Dr. Robbins right now so i have to leave. I'll see you. Great working with you Jane." She replied with a lovely smile that only made the redhead smile back, too hazed to realize Callie was going away.
Callie took Arizona's wrist and started moving her so they'd look like they were discussing a serious matter. "Why'd you do that?" Arizona asked, delighted by the latina's actions but still feeling jealous. "She kept hitting on me, and she barely looked me in the eyes, please, I'm more than boobs and lips. If Mark manages, so should she." And again the blonde felt the rush of jealousy inside but before any other word could be spoken, Mark joined next to Callie's other side. "Damn, that woman won't let you go Cal what was that?! i caught her gazing at you through the surgery a few times, i mean, come on." He shrugged. Arizona looked at Callie and saw a hint of amusement, but a second after that Callie stepped into the game. With a raised eyebrow she started. "Am i not hot or good looking enough for you Sloan?" She replied with her eyes narrowed, looking sexy and making Arizona flush at the sexy voice she was performing. "I don't think i should be the one to answer that. But we all know the answer." He replied and looked at the two woman. Callie broke into a laugh. "I guess we do. Feel free to distract her from me. You know i don't work that way." She raised her eyebrows at him, after a bit of laughing he left, leaving the two woman to themselves. "Well Calliope, how do you work than?" Arizona couldn't help but ask. Callie turned to her, amusement on her face, and then she came back to normal. "Well, I'm not into rebounds." She shrugged as if it was just another statement. Arizona's insides were jumping from joy. "I'm glad to hear that." She replied with a eating itself smile. Callie looked at her amused, and then her face fell, as if she remembered what Arizona did to her. Arizona wanted to erase that sudden hurt from the Latina's eyes. "I wanted to talk to you. I-I I really want you. No, i mean yes, but no i meant that i miss you and i love you and i want us, more than anything, i want us again. i will do anything, i will be here for forever, and help you gain the trust in me again. I need us more than air, you. I need you with everything, every step i make that you're not there is worth nothing. I love you more than anything on earth and i will fight. Because i don't think losing you is something I will ever be ready to deal with."
The latina just stood there, all the emotions that Arizona could make out from her face were fear, surprise, happiness, shock and worry. She started worrying when they remained like that for more seconds. "I know you don't trust me and i can't expect you to, but if you will just give me a chance Calliope, you'll see, you'll see it won't happen again, anything that can ever hurt you won't happen on my account. Calliope..." By now she was rambling and her eyes began to water. She was so scared to latina would not give her that chance. "I I'm not. i can't be without you. I have discovered new amount of tears in that last month more than my entire life. Calliope. Say something." Arizona pleaded. Callie went out of her shock, she took them into an on call room and sat them on one of the beds. "I don't know." She started. "I mean, don't get me wrong, i want this too, for so long. But how will i ever know if you are loyal to me only Arizona? i don't want to sit around worrying who you're with, or if we fight that you won't run of to someone. I won't be able to live like this. I don't know."
By now Arizona was crying a river of silent tears, she understood exactly what Callie was talking about, it all made sense. Inside, she knew she won't do that again, but how in the world would she make Callie believe it too?
"Calliope, I know it sounds impossible to trust me, but the only way to see why you can trust me is by giving me a chance. Just one more chance Calliope. You'll see, it will end well, no, it won't end. Because i will never let it." It seemed that Arizona was saying the right words because a sparkle went into the latina's eyes and that got the blonde to stop crying and look at her latina wide eyed waiting for an answer.
"If we give this another try, we need to go slow, we need to, i need this to take some time." Callie started, making Arizona smile. "I will take it as slow as possible until you yourself will rush us a bit." Arizona replied reassuringly, getting a laugh from Callie. "So, is this a yes?" Arizona asked, her eyes wide as ever, her blue eyes sparkling with hope and excitement, a huge smile hanging on her lips. The latina knew she had no chance of saying no, only looking at the mesmerizing blonde she wanted to say yes. She smiled back, making the blonde jump in place, still waiting for that simple yes. "Yes." The latina finally let out a yes and then the blonde jumped at her in joy and they both fell on the bed with beaming grins. Their faces were inches from each other and they looked at each other in the eyes. "Can I kiss you Calliope?" Arizona asked softly, respecting HER latina's wish to take it slow. Callie smiled again. "Yes." She sighed happily. The blonde's smile got impossibly bigger, her dimples full force. She inched even closer. "Finally." She whispered on the latina's plump sexy lips and finally, attached their lips together. It started so soft, so full of emotions and promises the latina almost started crying. They kissed until their lungs were a second away from failing, taking a few seconds to breathe again until they reattached their lips, now with more force, they felt hungry, that entire month of being apart ate them both alive, and not once they found themselves longing to kiss the other. And now, they were almost eating each other, their bodies touching everywhere, Arizona's hands in Callie's black soft hair, attaching her even closer, giving her better access to her mouth. They both moaned when their tongues met and started to play. Both breathing heavily after every breaking kiss, Arizona not being able to hold her smile any longer. "You're mine again." Arizona whispered so quietly, as if it were more to herself rather than to the latina. She smiled until she started laughing out loud. She was too happy, she couldn't help it. She just bore her face in the crook of the Latina's neck and laughed out of happiness. The latina joined her, on usual days, she'd say the blonde is going crazy, but she felt that joy inside too, she felt the tingly feeling inside, and whenever she thought about them being together again, a smile rose to her face and she just kept her thoughts there as well and joined her blonde with laughing their souls out. Both were tearing and holding their stomach out of laughter. They both knew this time it would be different. Sure, they still had a lot to go through, but they could feel this would end when they end. They felt a forever whispering, lingering around them. This was something they were looking forward to, their journey together, their future, their love. And so, both kept thinking about what time is holding out for them when they are together, still laughing and kissing with everything they have. They knew they would both give everything they have for that, for their love. About that they were sure. This will never end.