A/N: I KNOW I SAID I'M ON A HIATUS FROM HERE AND I STILL AM BUT I HAD TO WRITE THIS, THIS CAME ABOUT BECAUSE I WENT TO AFTERDARK (A GAY BAR IN FORT WAYNE, INDIANA) THE OTHER DAY. I'M STRAIGHT BUT I HAVE A LOT OF GAY FRIENDS SO I GO THERE WITH THEM A LOT. WELL WHEN WE WENT IT WAS A TUESDAY. TUESDAYS ARE STRIPPER NIGHTS. I HAPPENED TO GET AN AWESOME DANCE FROM THIS STRAIGHT DUDE THAT LOOKED LIKE TED DIBIASE JR. NO JOKE. IT WASN'T HIM BUT IT LOOKED LIKE IT. THEN WITH THE HELP OF SHIDA I REALIZED THAT THEY WERE IN INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA THE DAY BEFORE. SO IT GOT ME THINKIN, WHAT IF IT REALLY WAS TED AND WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE. SO OF COURSE WHAT'S SAID BETWEEN ME AND HIM IS NOT ALL TRUE. BUT HERE'S A ONE-SHOT OF HOW THAT WOULD HAVE WENT DOWN :P LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK…
So I decided to go out with 2 of my gay friends to the gay bar they always go to called AfterDark. Today is Tuesday and every Tuesday at AfterDark is stripper night. I never dress nice cause I'm straight so it's not like I'm gonna pick anybody up. But I have heard that some of the strippers are straight. But they're strippers so there's no point in me even trying to get with them cause most of the time they're hot so they wouldn't go for a fat, bald chick anyways. But hey that's why you tip them, they'll dance on you wether they want to or not. I just see it as a job, most of the time just a side job. You gotta make money somehow.
We were sitting at the table drinking and just hanging out for about an hour before the show started. First stripper was this guy named 'Big Dick Don' he was hot, of course but as soon as I saw him he reminded me of somebody. He looked like Ted DiBiase Jr. He danced for a songs worth and then there was a 10 minute break and somebody else went on. It continued like that the rest of the night. One of the times that I went up to the bar to get another drink, he was up there too and I decided to say something to him "Has anybody ever told you that you that you look like Ted Dibiase?"
"No but I will google that Mother Fucker tomorrow" he was obviously drunk
"Alright" I said and got myself another beer then went and sat back down and continued to enjoy my night and Don had done another dance too and I just couldn't get my mind off of him looking like Ted. I mean they were in Indy yesterday. No, it's not him, I know it's not. Don has a tattoo on his upper right arm.
After he was done with that song and walked off, Tristian, one of my gay friends asked "You think he's hot?"
"Hell ya dude. He looks like Ted DiBiase, one of the wrestlers" I laughed
"Well I got Heath (Tristians boyfriend) a private dance with him later"
"Good choice" I told him and we continued drinking and Tristian and Heath would get up there and dance in between strippers sets. Don had another song but during this one he came over and started dancing on me. I hadn't even given him a tip yet. I'll tell you this much, he's a really good dancer :P Of course with me thinking he looks like Ted that's all my mind was on. Imagining getting a dance like that from Ted DiBiase Jr. I couldn't help myself, you probably wouldn't be able to either and then he got close to me and said in my ear "I'm actually straight"
I laughed, I was drunk and I couldn't think of a response for that. He continued dancing as I reached into my back pocket and gave him a tip then he said into my other ear "All I like is that pussy you have" again all I could do was laugh.
A/N: NOW ALL THE REST IS MY IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD :P
He continued dancing and I couldn't help myself but feel his thighs up to his ass and his 6 pack abs. Then he went back to my other side and said "I am Ted DiBiase" again, all I could do was laugh cause that's just crazy, sure I knew that he didn't have to work tonight but that's just crazy. I had looked over at Tristian and he had his camera on and we both looked over at him and he took the picture.
He continued dancing some more and he said to me "I really am Ted DiBiase. But don't tell anyone. I've never done this before and I heard that these stripper guys get good tips at gay bars so I thought I'd try it in a little town where hardly anybody would know me"
Again I just laughed but I was actually shocked. After he said that I looked straight into his face and that's when I realized that he didn't just look like Ted, he was Ted. "What about Kristen. You gonna tell her?"
"No, she probably wouldn't like to know this"
And I thought… I'm not the one to do the whole blackmail thing but come on. All I'd really want is like an autograph and maybe a meet and greet with the other two members of Legacy and maybe tickets to the next show. No big deal. He could just say that I'm his cousin or something. Besides, he could most likely pay for that stuff with the tips he got tonight and still have plenty left over. He finished his dance and started to back away but I said "I have a Twitter" and he stopped. He knew exactly what I meant by that.
"You wanna go outside for a cigarette?" he asked
I smirked "Sure" then I followed him outside. I spoke up first, I was flat out honest with him "Look, I'm not the blackmail type nor have I ever blackmailed anybody and I'm not evil or anything but I just wanna know what I can get out of this"
"Nobody would believe you anyways"
"Ted" I started but he interrupted
"Don" he emphasized
I laughed "Don. Tristian took a picture and he's gonna take pictures when you dance on Heath, you can't tell them not to take pictures. I already have proof and I'm gonna get more" I smirked
He took a deep breath "What do you want?"
"Tickets to tomorrows show and atleast a meet and greet with Cody and Randy too"
"That's it and you won't blab?" he asked
"That's it. What? You expected more?" I asked
"I thought you'd ask me for like a thousand bucks or something"
"I could have got that?" I was shocked, wow he really wants to keep this hush hush
"Ya. Easily"
"Well then…" I said then he looked at me "I'm kidding. Just the tickets and the meet and greet and I won't say a word"
"Awesome. Well lets go inside and get my coat. I'll take you out to my car to get you a ticket and a backstage pass"
"Actually, since it's just a house show then I'm good with just the pass"
"That saves me more money and I don't have to tell anybody. We can just say you're my cousin. Thanks"
"No problem" I said and followed him in to get his coat and we went out to his car and he got me a backstage pass then we went back inside and he did his dance for Heath and before we left he told me that he'd see me tomorrow. This is great. Nobody ever gets this chance. He said he's never tried this before so I'm the only person that's ever had this chance or will ever have this chance cause wether he had fun or not, going to a small town and somebody recognized him, he wouldn't take the chance again.
The rest of the night I didn't say anything more about how he looked like Ted. I got the pass and I promised I wouldn't. If the pass ends up being a fake then he knows that I can send that picture everywhere. I have a twitter, my yearbook, myspace, facebook, wweuniverse and a fan fiction too. You know how many people that reaches? A whole hell of a lot. But I know I wouldn't actually do it. I'm not that mean. Just cause I threatened it doesn't mean I'd actually do it. If it's a fake pass then that's on him. It's more torture for him to be paranoid about me doing it than actually doing it. He'd possibly crack under the pressure. So I didn't get too excited about it.
The next day I asked my mom to borrow the van. My car's getting fixed. That I'd be gone all day. So I painted the Legacy logo on my head (cause I do that) and I left for the arena with my pass in hand. I parked in the main parking lot, I looked at the pass one last time. It actually says that I'm family of Teds. So if they asked I'd just say I'm his cousin, and walked around to the back to where they enter at. I go to the first guard that was standing around the fans. "Excuse me sir" I said and showed him the pass.
He read it and said "Alright, go on back. Just keep that with you" and I walked back and ran into a few guards that I had to show it to. Oh my god, it was real. I'm not saying Ted wouldn't do that cause he's cool but in reality it was mean for me to do this so I just expected that it'd be fake and I had of wasted a tank of gas driving here for nothing. I'm lucky. I'm starting to freak out a little. How many people that I look up to, that I'm working on emulating, am I gonna run into before I even get to Legacy's locker room? My hearts beating really fast as I walk up to the last guard standing right outside the door and show him my pass and he opens the door for me and I walk in and put my hood down and shivered a little bit. I like to have my hood up but when I paint my head I do it for people to see it and especially these guys. I decide to ask the first person I see where Legacys locker room is. I continued walking the hall and the first person I see is Paul Wight, better known as Big Show "Excuse me" I get his attention
"Do I know you, are you allowed to be back here?" he asked and I showed him my pass "How are you related to Ted?" he eyed me
"I'm his cousin" I answered
"Mom's side or dad's side" he asked a follow up. Shit, what was his mom's name? I know he's gonna ask that. I could get myself in deeper if I say it's his dads side. Maybe he won't ask her name.
"Mom's side"
"So what's her name then?"
Damnit. I know I read it somewhere "Oh you mean… my uncle Ted's wife? …Aunt Melanie? …Made you think I didn't know didn't I?" I laughed
"Hey, don't I know you?" he said as he looked at my head
"No. This is the first time I've been back here"
"Have you been to any shows before?" I can tell he thinks he knows me but I'm pretty sure he doesn't. I mean ya I've gotten his autograph once but I can't be that memorable can I?
"Ya. Ten of them" I answered
"Have you painted your head before?" wow, he does remember me
"All the time. Why?" I asked
"I remember you. You had your head all blue and I asked you where your loyalty was cause you said you paint it red for raw and blue for smack down"
"Wow you remembered. Ya that's me. Ya know, after I got home I had a good comeback for that" I had to say
"What's that?" he challenged
"You asked where my loyalty was. Well where is your loyalty? You switch shows all the time"
"Touche" he stated
"Am I that impressionable that you remember me?" I had to ask
"Ya, we haven't seen anybody that paints their head and you're a chick, so that's a plus"
"What do you mean 'we'?"
"Quite a few of us have talked about you. We've actually asked to see how many of us have signed your head?" he laughed
"Seriously?"
"I'm not just tooting your horn. I'm serious. We think it's cool. At first we thought you had cancer and thought that was very brave of you, instead of hiding behind a wig but one of us, I think it was Matt Hardy, he's so internet savy. He found your myspace, don't know how but he did and found out it's Alopecia Areata, we all had fun doing that tongue twister and we still think that's brave of you" he smiled
My jaw was dropped "You're not fucking with me, you're serious?"
He laughed "I'm not fucking with you, I'm dead serious"
Ok that's crazy awesome so I took a deep breath and bucked it up, don't be nervous what else could I possibly find out that's gonna blow me away anymore than what that just did? "Matt probably didn't have to work hard"
"What do you mean?" he cocked his head
"He probably just asked Amy and she probably told him, oh that's just Donna. I've been to like 13 Luchagor shows. She knows me"
"Oh duh, she told us about you. You and your friend drove all the way to Atlanta and Myrtle Beach to see them"
"Yep that's me"
"And you're Ted's cousin?" he asked again
"Ya. See, I never really wanted to throw that around and get free stuff. Me and Ted hadn't talked in years and I saw him when I went out yesterday and he suggested I come today to meet some of the guys" no idea where that came from but it sure did sound good didn't it?
"That's really nice of you. There's some people around here that do that, most of those people are annoying but you seem cool. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure" I said and wondered what he'd want to ask me
"2 things actually. One, can I sign your head?"
I laughed "Sure" and I pulled one of the many permanent markers out of my pocket and he signed it. If I'm going someplace to get an autograph, instead of carrying a notebook around and risk loosing it I just take a bunch of permanent markers incase they go dead and I have people sign my head then I'll take a picture of it so then I'll have it.
"And. If I pay for you to come out to the show would you paint 'Big Show Rocks' or something like that on your head and sit ringside?"
"Well I only have unemployment and I have about $1000 left in bills and I keep getting more bills, I'm 22 and still at my parents house, so the ONLY way for me to even say yes to that is if you pay for everything for me. Pay for the flight to where ever it's gonna be, pay for a flight back. My food, I mean everything cause I can't afford to do that stuff, I'd love to do it just because and then more people would recognize me but I just can't afford it"
"I can do that" he smiled
I went wide eyed "Seriously. You'd do that just for me paint you on my head and it be seen at ringside on tv?"
"Hell ya, I think it's great"
"Wow"
"Plus you'd get to see your cousin more"
I paused, this is gonna be weird "Right. Speaking of him do you know where the Legacy locker room is?"
"Ya, first what's your number?" he asked as he pulled out his phone and I gave him my number and he gave me his so that when he calls I know it's actually him "Thanks. You go down this hall and make a left then the second hallway you make a right and it's the" he figured out in his head "Fourth door down on the left"
"Alright, thanks Paul. Talk to you later" I said and took off down the hall. As soon as I turned left I saw Mike and John talking. I aint gonna be that type of person to stop by and just start talking to anybody. I'm really lucky that I'm getting to see Legacy. I'm not gonna push my luck so I decided to just walk past anybody that I saw. But as soon as I walked past them I heard John say "Hey is that Donna?" he said loud enough for me to hear
So I stopped and turned around and said "Ya, that's me"
"Well come here" Mike said, so I did "Ya know, I've actually met her a few times" Mike said to John
"Ya, I met both of you at a Luchagor show in Ohio which I still havent gotten that picture from Kim that I took with you guys" I kinda grumbled that part, it's been like 2 years "And Mike, you've signed my head once"
"Your friend hasn't given you the picture yet?" John asked
"No, she can't find the memory card it was on"
"Well here, let's take a better one. Let me see your camera" Mike said, so I handed it to him and they both got on either side of me and Mike outstretched his arm and he took a picture.
"Thanks guys, that was really cool of you" I commented
"No problem, as long as you let us sign your head" John stated
"Is it really as talked about as what Paul said it was?" I asked as I handed John a marker, I was being all cool now. Like I said, after Paul, nothing else can get more shocking.
"Ya it is actually. We just think it's cool that you do it" Mike said as he signed my head
"Awesome. Thanks guys" I said and started to walk away
"Wait" Mike said so I stopped. There is no way he's gonna ask me the same thing Paul did.
"What?" I asked as I realized that they hadn't even asked if I was allowed to be back here. I mean as far as they know I'm just a fan.
"If we pay you, will you paint our names on your head and sit ringside so people can see it?" John asked
I can't believe this "I'll just some it up, I'm 22, on unemployment and still live at home with the rents so if you guys pay for EVERYTHING then I will"
"You're awesome" Mike said
"I thought you were" I said to him
"Good one" he said then I got both their numbers and they got mine. Things are getting crazier and crazier. I walked down to the second hallway and turned right and there I saw Matt Striker coming out of the first door and again I continued walking but I guess he saw me "Donna" he said
So I turned around, I really hope he didn't remember what I did when I got his autograph "Yes" I said wearily
"I'm sorry but I laughed really heard when I realized you were the 'I have boobs' girl"
I laughed a little too "How many people did you tell about that?" I cringed, hoping it was nobody
"That's embarrassing, I wouldn't tell anybody that but why did you do that anyways?" he asked, well atleast I can explain myself.
"Because you were only signing autographs for women and kids and you passed me up and I didn't wanna get cheated out of an autograph just cause you THOUGHT I was a guy, it's just not fair" I explained
"True. Sorry about that"
"I'm used to it. Don't worry"
"I'm still sorry though. Can I sign your head?" wow, just wow
"Of course" I said and handed him a marker "Thanks" I told him
"You're welcome" he smiled and I walked away and walked to the fourth door on the left and knocked and Ted answered it "Hey there, come on in" he said so I walked in
"You didn't tell me that half the people back here knows who I am" I said to him
"What's your name again?" he asked
"Donna" I said and turned around so he could see my head
"That is kick ass…Oh, you're Donna? I didn't realize that" he said as I looked around and noticed it was just me and him in here
"Oh my god. So you know me too?" I asked as I sat down on the bench
"Ya, some of the guys have talked about hiring you for promotional like stuff"
"Ya I know. Paul Wight gave me 20 questions about who I was until he realized who I was. I didn't even know you guys knew who I am. He hired me and so did Mike and John"
"Wait, what all did Paul ask you?" he panicked
"Well he could tell I was a fan so he asked me how I was related to you and I told him on your moms side, I had to tell him your moms name then to cover up acting like I didn't know when I couldn't think of it I told him that I'm one of those cousins that you hadn't seen in years and I didn't wanna take advantage of you but we ran into each other yesterday at a bar and you suggested I come. So that's gonna have to keep going since 3 of you guys have hired me already. I didn't expect all this, I just wanted to meet Legacy but now we got to keep up that lie. I'll be honest, even if that was a fake pass, I wouldn't have posted those pictures, I would have just let you think I did. But because you let me back here, we have to keep up the lie. We have to tell your parents and your brothers incase they get asked about it. I mean it wouldn't be anything bad on me. Cause you said some of the guys were wanting to hire me anyways so it would have only been a matter of time before I went to another show. But you, as long as you don't want anybody to know about it, cause I still wouldn't tell them but if you don't tell your family then they're gonna get stuck with a question they can't answer and you get caught" I explained, that's the way I saw it anyways.
"That should be fine. I called Kristen and told her about it today"
"What did she say?"
"I told you you could dance good" he smiled
"Seriously?"
"Ya dude, it was crazy, she wasn't mad at all. As long as I do the dance for her when I get home and I never go to a gay bar again and do that"
"Good deal. So when is Randy and Cody getting here?" I asked
He walked over to his bag and grabbed a permanent marker then walked back over to me "May I?" he asked
"Go for it" I said
"They're down in catering. I stayed here incase you came here. They should be back anytime now"
"Do they know I'm coming?" I asked
"Ya, I said my cousin was coming to visit"
"Awesome. Thanks Ted, I know it's not making that much trouble for you but I am sorry that I threatened that"
"It's cool, just see it as me getting you here sooner" he smiled
"If you say so" I stated
"I do say so, so buck up" he laughed
"Yes sir" I saluted him
"Your funny cuz" he patted me on the shoulder
"And you're a good stripper cuz" I joked
"Hey now" he scorned
"I'm sorry, we're supposed to act like family now, right? I still wont tell anyone I promise"
"What about your family? What will you tell them about you being hired by some of us? By the way, we'd like to too. But don't know about ringside, we wanna do it different and put you in the tron video"
"Even awesomer. I'll just tell them that I came to the show and you came out to sign autographs and you asked me to come back but that as far as the other guys know, I'm your cousin. I'll just say that you had to tell the guards that to get me back there and so that's what I had to say if I was off wandering around on my own"
"You're a smart one"
"Thank you" I said then the door opened and Cody and Randy walked in and I could hear what they were saying.
"Cody, I know you think it'd be cool to put her and her painted head in the video and Amy said that she lives around here but Shelton said he didn't see her out there" Randy said to Cody. They were talking about me. I really do get talked about. I mean I believed the guys but I just actually witnessed it though.
"Hey guys" I said to them
"Oh you must be Teddy's cousin, what's your name?" Randy asked as he walked up to me and held his hand out for me to shake it.
"Randy, that's Donna" Cody stated as he looked at me
"Oh hell ya" Randy said "Ted, I didn't know she was your cousin"
"I didn't realize it until she got here today and her head was painted" he covered up
"Oooo, what did you paint it today?" Cody asked, so I turned around so they could see.
"That is awesome" Randy said as he looked at it "Let me get a picture with my phone. Sam would love it" he said so I stood still so he could get a picture.
"You got a marker?" Cody asked so I pulled it out of my pocket and him and Randy signed it
"Can I get a picture with the 3 of you?"
"Of course" Randy said "Let me go find someone to take the picture" he finished and walked out of the room
"Who is he gonna get?" I asked
"Probably the first person he see's. Why?" Cody answered
"I just expected to get to meet you guys, I didn't expect to get hired by some of you guys"
"Dude, it's no big deal. Amy said you're cool. Even if we didn't hire you, we'd still like to see you when we come around here. Based on what Amy and the guys say you're really cool"
My heart started beating faster again, there's no way these guys talk about me like this. Then Randy walked in with of course, John Cena. Go figure.
"Hey Donna. You know, I remember you. But when I met you, you didn't have your head painted" he stated. How does he remember that?"
"I didn't get the idea to do that until I went and saw the Luchagors. The first wrestling event I did it at was Wrestlemania 23"
"Alright, I'll let it slide as long as you let me hire you"
"I'll tell you the same conditions I told the others; I'm a 22 year old, still living with the rents on unemployment and I don't have any extra cash so if you pay for EVERYTHING for me then yes I'll do it" I told them all
"Will do. And I'll give you some extra money to spend" John added
"Thanks. You wanna sign my head then take the picture for me?" I asked
"Of course I wanna sign your head" he said then took the marker and signed it then I handed him my camera and Cody, Randy and Ted stood behind me and John took the picture.
"Thanks John" I said then we traded numbers
"No, thank you. I'll talk to you later" he said then left the room
"Hey D" Ted said and I eyed him, gotta use a nickname to pull it all off I guess "We still have a few hours before they start letting people in. I know you're a fan. You wanna go out to the ring?" he asked
"I would love to" I smiled
A/N: SO MY IMAGINATION REALLY DID RUN WILD, DON'T YA THINK :P WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK IF IT?