Welcome to another co-authored story. This time the challenge was to use at least two 'evil overlord' tropes in the story. Each ficlet in this collection has been written by a different author. We've got a mix of canon and OC's, so there should be something for everyone.

If you liked the story, please leave a review to let the author know you enjoyed their work. We all love gettting feedback :D

Hope you enjoy!

~spikala

Insanus Imperialis

by impoeia

On Pembric II, it always rained.

At any other time, Obi-Wan Kenobi might have enjoyed the light drizzle. But after two days of slogging through boggy wetlands, with water surrounding him from below and above, drenching his clothes and food, Obi-Wan had had enough. He wanted off of this planet and sleep in his dry cabin aboard the Negotiator. It was something he shared with his former Padawan.

"I don't see why we can't just go," Anakin complained.

Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh. He very much understood the younger man's feelings, but they were Jedi and were supposed to be able to push past such earthly concerns as clammy robes and impatience. Or at least have the decency to suffer in silence for the duration of the mission.

"Patience, Anakin," Obi-Wan chided, just as he had done throughout Anakin's apprenticeship. "We need to wait for the clones to get into position. Cody and Rex are both very capable, but neither can spontaneously transfer two battalions from one end of the system to the next."

"But while we wait, the Separatists might already be planning their escape. Dooku's latest pet scientist hasn't exactly been making a habit of setting up permanent residency. Besides," he muttered unhappily under his breath, "I hate just sitting on my hands for two days straight."

"As do I," Obi-Wan assured him, "but Anakin, you have to learn…"

"Wait," Anakin hissed at him. "I think there's something happening up at the castle."

Obi-Wan whipped out his pair of macrobinoculars and tried to peer through the steady sheets of rain and the surrounding foliage. He and Anakin had taken up an observation post in a small, natural ditch, where the local fern-like fauna could provide them with cover. It also provided them with an excellent view of all incoming and outgoing traffic from the castle.

Over the past two days, there had been a steady flow of groundcars, each scanned by a squad of B1 battle droids. During their time in the ditch, he and Anakin had also catalogued the routines of the droid sentries, attempting to assess their numbers. Not an easy task, given the faceless, uniform nature of these mechanical soldiers.

But Anakin was right, there was clearly something happening at the castle. Along the ramparts, a group of B1s was busily carrying several large crates out into the rain. More battle droids were moving clumsily along a makeshift scaffolding. The flare of their welding torches flashed through the night like lightning.

One of the droids fumbled a crate and it crashed to the ground like thunder. The sound echoed across the marsh in large, booming waves, making him and Anakin flinch in their little hideout.

"Talk about appropriate background music," Anakin muttered, his own macrobinoculars held closely to his face.

"What are they doing?" Obi-Wan wondered, mystified.

"I don't know," Anakin said. "But I recognize some of the gear. That's a M-43 Alpha model satellite dish they're mounting to the roof. And those power cables have to belong to a class six generator."

"So it seems we were right," Obi-Wan observed. "This is where all that stolen tech got to."

"Yeah," Anakin complained unhappily. "Too bad the Bothans couldn't do as good a job of protecting their gear as they did in tracking down the scientist that took it."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan chided in warning.

"Alright," Anakin conceded, then lowered the binoculars. He stared at Obi-Wan through the gathering darkness, absentmindedly brushing hanks of his wet hair out of his face. "You do know what this means, don't you? Whatever the Seps stole that technology for, they're getting ready to use it."

"We can't know that for sure, Anakin," Obi-Wan argued.

"Can't we?" Anakin countered. "Think about it, Obi-Wan. For two days these guys have done nothing but cart in supplies. And now, all of a sudden, they decide to do some exterior remodeling? No way that's just a coincidence. That scientist is getting ready to do something and I don't know about you, but I want to stop it before it gets going."

Obi-Wan sighed, his hand coming up to his beard in thought. He grimaced as his fingers shook loose the water caught in the fine hairs. Anakin's logic certainly correlated with what they knew about this Separatist scientist. By all accounts, this was an intelligent person, who, so far, had eluded Republic custody by moving from one temporary shelter to the next. That the droids would be set to construction now, argued for a definite change in the modus operandi.

"Let's say that I agree with you," Obi-Wan said slowly. "How exactly do you propose we proceed? That castle is heavily fortified and patrolled by at least a hundred battle droids. We're good, Anakin, but we're not that good and our reinforcements are still," he glanced at his wrist-chrono, "five hours from our position."

Anakin gazed out into the rainy distance, his face set in concentration. "Right, well…"

Obi-Wan watched the face of his former Padawan with a mixture of expectation and dread. Anakin was a brilliant tactician in part, because he could come up with some of the most hair brained and reckless ideas Obi-Wan had ever heard. But so far, they'd all more or less worked.

Anakin's blue eyes suddenly lit up and he turned towards Obi-Wan once more, a boyish grin lighting his wet and muddy face. "I've got an idea Obi-Wan and you are absolutely going to hate it."

"You were right, Anakin," Obi-Wan said a few minutes later, "I absolutely hate this plan."

One of the two battle droids walking behind them jabbed the muzzle of his blaster into Obi-Wan's back.

"No talking, Republic dog," it said.

Obi-Wan held in a groan – the droids' vernacular was extremely limited and they had exhausted their storage of insults quite a while ago – and whispered to Anakin under his breath, "Remind me again why it is that we surrendered to the Separatists?"

"C'mon, Obi-Wan," Anakin whispered back, "you should know this. After all, I got the idea from you."

"Me?" he asked, horrified.

"Yeah. Don't you remember Christophsis? You surrendered to General Loathsome to buy Ahsoka and me time to bring down the shields. This is the same thing. All we have to do is distract the scientist long enough for Rex and Cody to get here."

"And hopefully save us from the gundark's den," Obi-Wan muttered unhappily.

"Exactly."

This time, it was Anakin's turn to get jabbed with the blaster. "You heard the sergeant," the second droid said. "No talking, Jedi scum."

The droid sergeant turned its long head towards its companion. "Very nice usage of insulating language, private."

"Thanks you, sir," the other droid replied. "Do you believe the boss will be pleased by our apprehension of the Jedi?"

"Most definitely. I compute a 97.6% chance of a promotion in our immediate future."

"Roger that."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Droids.

Their droid escort led them through a series of twisting corridors, all made up of heavy blocks of stone even their lightsabers would have a hard time cutting through. Their final destination was a large hall, which Obi-Wan thought might have been a banquet hall at one time, but had now been turned into some type of lab. The walls were mostly covered with state of the art terminals, consoles, screens and scanners, all manned by more B1s. This effusion of technology stood in stark contrast to the archaic architecture of the castle.

He and Anakin were rudely pushed into two chairs, positioned in the middle of the laboratory. A few meters away was a large, white and chrome desk, auspiciously empty of all paraphernalia. Behind the desk was an equally large, oval chair, the back turned towards them.

"Hold still, Republic vermin," the droid sergeant told them and the hands of the two Jedi were wrenched behind the backs of their chairs, secured with binders. The droids had already taken their lightsabers when he and Anakin had surrendered themselves earlier. They were now truly trapped in the heart of the enemy base.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Anakin," Obi-Wan said out of the corner of his mouth.

"You and me both," Anakin muttered back.

"General Obi-Wan Kenobi." The voice was coming from the oval chair. "General Skywalker. What a pleasure to have you here, in my… humble abode." The voice was cultured, with a crisp Coruscanti accent.

The chair turned around, revealing the person sitting in it. "I have been expecting you," the woman purred.

She was a stout woman, with brown hair swept back into a bun and large, green eyes. In her mid-forties, she was dressed in a dark blue shirt, with pants and jacket made up of some shining, silver material. Her smile, as she looked at the captive Jedi, was sharp and showed a row of flashing teeth. Curled up in her lap was a white-haired, immature attack stohl. The creature eyed the Jedi with black, button eyes every bit as predatory as those of its mistress.

"Imperialis," Anakin growled.

The woman's smile widened. "The very same." Then the smile vanished, replaced by a fake pout. "But look what you did now. I fear that, while I have been looking forward to our meeting, I find myself pressed for time. My employer…"

"You mean, Count Dooku," Anakin interrupted.

Imperialis's eyes flashed with momentary anger, then was replaced almost instantly again with the pouting, put upon expression. By all accounts, this was a brilliant woman. But she was also quite mad.

"My employer," she purred again, stroking the stohl contentedly, "insists that I set our little experiment into action right away." A dramatic sigh. "Ah, how the demands of the people cut into my social time. But when the one doing the demanding is also the one paying for my research," and she flashed the Jedi a wide smile, reminiscent of that of a nexu, "who am I to argue?"

The stohl grumbled and twitched on her lap and the mad scientist gave a cackle of amusement. It grated against Obi-Wan's senses. The woman was as insane as a spiced-up Weequay.

The laughter cut off almost as soon as it started and Imperialis's green eyes settled once more on the Jedi. "Sadly, this means that I will have to kill you now. Droids!" And she snapped her fingers at the two standing behind Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Obi-Wan heard the whirr of their blasters as the droids took aim at the back of their heads.

"Any ideas?" Obi-Wan asked Anakin.

"Me?" Anakin looked at him, wide-eyed. "I got us in. I did my part for the day. It's your turn to come up with a plan."

Obi-Wan suppressed the urge to sputter in indignation at his former Padawan. Given the fact that they were about to be executed, there were better ways in which he could spend his last few seconds.

Obi-Wan's mind raced as Imperialis began turning her chair once more away from them, no doubt wanting to oversee the droids working at the banks of monitors behind her.

"Wait!" Obi-Wan shouted. "You can't do this."

Imperialis turned towards him, her green eyes bored. "I think you'll see that I can, Master Jedi."

"But not like this," Obi-Wan insisted. "It… it's not proper."

Anakin was staring at him in disbelief. "Not proper? That's the best you can come up with?"

But Obi-Wan had clearly caught Imperialis's attention. The woman was staring at him. "What do you mean? I give the order and you die. What can be more proper?"

"But there's no finesse to it, no… no mastery. Death by blaster," and Obi-Wan forced a patronizing smile to his lips. "Come now, my dear, how utterly mundane. You are the greatest scientist of your time and you want me to believe that you can't come up with a better way to kill two of the Republic's Jedi? A villain of your intellect and caliber, I would have at least expected a laser to cut us slowly into half, or a pit filled with poisonous reptiles."

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin hissed at him, alarmed. "Don't give her ideas."

But Obi-Wan could see that he had caught Imperialis's attention. She was looking thoughtfully off into the distance, still stroking the little stohl.

"And killing us without revealing your plans?" Obi-Wan went on, trying to stall for as long as possible. "Why, that is simply going against every tradition. How are we supposed to know by how much you've outsmarted us, if you don't tell us?"

Imperialis's face lit up, obviously liking this idea. "Yes," she murmured. "Yes, yes, of course."

"I could almost believe," Obi-Wan added, trying to stoke the fire, "that by insisting on hurrying, Count Dooku is trying to rob you of your moment of triumph."

Imperialis's features darkened in rage, her face flushing with the intensity of her emotions. "He would too, that egotistical cretin," she spat. "But I won't have it. I am Imperialis, the greatest scientist in the galaxy and I will have my due."

With a careless hand she threw the immature stohl over one shoulder. The animal shrieked as it went sailing into the air, but Imperialis didn't seem to hear. She jumped out of her chair, pointing at the droids. "You two, lower your blasters this instance. These Jedi will die a most horrible and long-winded death."

"Yessir," the droids said in unison and lowered their blasters.

Imperialis walked out from behind her desk, the nexu smile back in place. "You are no doubt wondering why it is that I have stolen so much of the Bothan's precious communications equipment?"

"I will admit, it has kept me up at night," Obi-Wan said seriously, then kicked Anakin in the shins – or tried to, at least, seeing as they were still tied to the chairs - but it was enough to jolt the stunned Anakin into action.

"What? Oh… yeah… me too."

Imperialis preened, and her stout figure began pacing before them, hands clasped behind her back like an empress inspecting her riches.

"It is simple really and in that simplicity lies its deviousness. What, I ask you, is the one thing a war cannot be fought without?" she asked them and her eyes swept over the bound Jedi like an expectant teacher.

"Troops?" Obi-Wan hazarded the guess, not really knowing what she was getting at, but hoping to draw her out. He could feel the approach of the 212th and the 501st in the Force, but the feeling was still faint. They needed more time.

"No, foolish Jedi. Something far more vital."

More vital than troops? Another guess from Obi-Wan. "Weapons."

Imperialis smiled scornfully.

"Biscuits?" Anakin muttered sourly under his breath.

"Communication," Imperialis said triumphantly. "Have you learned nothing from the Battle of Kothlis? Your army cannot function without working communications. I," and she gestured grandly at the lab with its arrangement of screens and terminals, "have invented a means by which I can shut down the Republic's communications satellites once and for all." And the woman dissolved into maniacal laughter.

Obi-Wan was stunned. Republic Intelligence had assumed that the tech had been stolen to build some sort of new listening post, but this? It would be a catastrophic blow to the Republic. They'd be crippled.

"That's impossible," Anakin argued.

"Is it?" Imperialis asked and stroked her silver jacket. "As soon as I give the order, a powerful virus will be streamed from the satellite dish atop the castle to the comsats orbiting Pembric II. This virus contains gigabytes of worthless fan mail and twitters. Once it reaches the orbiting satellites, it will spread and grow, gathering superfluous communications until, in a matter of hours, it overwhelms the Republic's communications network and brings the entire system crashing down!"

Imperialis threw her head back and laughed like a madwoman.

"You'll never get away with this!" Anakin yelled, incensed.

"Oh, but I will, young Jedi. For I am Imperialis and I. Am. Invincible!" She turned towards a number of droids, operating a station of terminals. "286, throw…" a dramatic pause, "the lever!"

"Yes, Mistress," the droid said and placed its three-digit hand on a gigantic lever.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called. "Plan B!"

With a twist of the Force, both Jedi called their lightsabers to them from their droid guards. Obi-Wan activated the blade, cutting through his binders in a swift movement. Next to him, Anakin sprang to his feet, blue blade humming.

"It's over, Imperialis," Anakin said.

"Over?" the woman hissed. "Never. You are still surrounded, Jedi."

"Not for long," Obi-Wan told her, casting his eyes towards the ceiling. In the Force, he felt a triumphant jubilation. "Reinforcements have just arrived."

"Droids!" Imperialis called. As one, the battle droids opened fire.

The two Jedi ducked and twisted, parrying shots and deflecting them back at the droids. In the tumult, Anakin managed to raise his comlink to his lips. "Rex, do you read me?"

"Copy that, General Skywalker," came the welcome voice. "We are in position and weapons locked."

Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged a glance. "Take! Take! Take!" Anakin said into the comlink and the firepower of the Resolute and Negotiator was unleashed upon the castle.

The walls shook, the stone crumbled and the ceiling began to give way. Imperialis screamed in rage. "No! This can't be happening!"

"Anakin! We have to get out of here," Obi-Wan called. The entire castle was coming down around their ears.

"No argument here," Anakin called back and the two Jedi began to fight their way towards the exit amidst blaster bolts and falling stone.

Imperialis, seeing that all was lost, attempted to escape with them, but a large chunk of ceiling dislodged itself, falling straight onto the mad scientist. She had time to utter one last scream of rage, before being crushed.

Obi-Wan and Anakin raced through the winding corridors, the walls collapsing even as they passed by.

Drawing on the Force, the two Jedi increased their speed, racing towards the growing point of light at the end of the corridor.

"Jump, Obi-Wan!" Anakin called and together, they Force-leaped into the rainy Pembric air, landing in a skid of mud just as the castle collapsed inwards with an explosive force, showering them with dust.

Obi-Wan and Anakin raised their heads tentatively to look over the damage. The castle was in ruins; buried beneath the heavy stone was the stolen tech and Dooku's mad scientist. Neither would ever be a threat to the Republic again.

Grinning triumphantly at his old master, Anakin said, "Mission accomplished."