Zelda Nintendo was walking around in a random record store, running from seventeen rapists as they tracked her through downtown dirty Manhattan. Whist running, she ran into the dashingly handsome Ben Dover, the son of the record store owner. He was all flabbergasted-like, but in the end he caught her in his strong, hairy brawn arms. He was all like.
"MADAM WELL MY MY MY.. MY MY MY MY MY MY. AREN'T YOU SEXY- I MEAN STUNNING. SUP LIL DARLIN."
And she was all like,
"AW TINK AWM I LUVVV WITCHU. TANNK U FRR RESHCING ME SER."
And they stared into each other's nasty, pink-eye-infected flea-sh*t-colored eyes. They started to drool. And then some of Ben Dover's drool landed on her forehead. Her response to this was as follows:
"DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
And they knew it was true love. Old, sad southern love.
Three days later they were married. The engagement ring was a Cod CD with some ketchup spilled on it. You know, to honor where they first met. At the record store. Which was actually named "NOT-ILLEGALLY-IMPORTED AFRICAN ANIMALS?"
Ten years later they were married with two kids and lived in a giant ZZZZZZ cup bra.
"HEI. HEI HUMMEH," Zelda croaked one day. "LEISH GOA FRR THAI FEWD."
"NAW HUMMEH," Ben Dover replied. "I HAETTE TIE FEWD."
And Zelda was so shocked that her intestines came halfway up her throat. She swallowed and ran upstairs to watch endless hours of Keeping up with the Kardashins. Then after watching 24 hours straight, she ran out of the house to get some Wendis. On the way there it started pouring rain and she looked up into the sky while listening to Goo Goo Dolls and saw the face of Jesus. While starin up at the thunder cloud that kinda represented Jesus, she decided she could overcome ben's hate of Thai food. While walking home a suspcious truck pulled over. Ben was in the driver seat and said, "Hop on in lil missi, I sure missed u." Zelda jumped in the car and told Ben about the face of Jesus in the clouds.
Now Zelda tours the U S of A talkin to churches about Jesus in the clouds and still is Addicted to the E! Network. Ben is a stay at home dad with a killer brownie recipe, and Zelda and Ben lived happily ever after but still doesn't eat Thai food.
The End