Momoko: So I don't own Naruto, which in this case means I don't own Gaara or Kankuro. However, Uma is mine, and Kayla is the OC Gaara-frenzy requested be used. I also do not own the Impressionable Priest or his lines from The Princess Bride.

Sorry this is so late!

Tell No One

"Tell no one." The reminder that what happens in Vegas – stays in Vegas. Usually. ~ GaaKayla KankHorse – One-shot Prize for Gaara-frenzy

Pounding music. Flashing lights. Beautiful women and unending drinks. Standing to the side, nursing a drink gone warm, he tried to remember why his brother decided that Vegas was the place for them to vacation. You'll meet tons of babes! Ah yes, the elusive female who was beautiful, funny, dumb and easy. The fact that the women avoided them ruined that prospect. Then Gaara saw her - Kankuro's ex-girlfriend. Turning to his sibling, Gaara started to warn him of the imminent danger. Before he could finish, someone laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you look bored. Want another drink?"
Gaara turned, relieved to find that it was one of "models who serve" who spent their shifts selling drinks and fantasies. "Sure. Two of your strongest." He said – deciding that it was better to get drunk and have fun than to stay sober and being acutely aware of everyone's avoidance.
"Coming right up, handsome."

"Hey, Gaara, check out the looks of that one. She looks like a horse!" Kankuro laughed, having decided it was better to drink than to remember people's names. "Kankuro, that's your ex-girlfriend."
"Hey, don't remind me of that chick! She ruined my life."
"I know, but if you don't lower your voice she just might try to end it."
"Naw, that's impossible. Been through waaaaay too much for a little horse to get me." Kankuro continued, taking a gulp of his alcohol. Gaara shook his head, if only that were true. He may not've been killed yet, but man is mortal.

Gaara was on his second drink, Kankuro on his fifth, when the server came back. "Thought I'd join you two for a little bit; you look a little lonely. Name's Kayla. Yours? She asked, looking between the two brothers. Gaara looked at her, before it had been just her face; long auburn hair, grey eyes and a scar from chin to the base of her neck. "Gaara, the drunk here is my brother Kankuro."
"I am not a drunk! You juss don' wanna have any fun. Gots a stick up yer ass all the time. If anythin' I'm a lil buzzed." Kankuro protested loudly before talking to the girl next to him again. Apparently she was also a "lil buzzed" because they were both laughing.

"Usually he's not this bad." Gaara explained to Kayla.
"It's okay, there are people who are worse off when they drink. At least he knows what is going on. What brings you to Vegas? If you don't mind me asking."
"Thought we'd get away from the office for a while, and Kankuro had this brilliant idea of 'bonding as brothers should' of course he'd just suffered a blow when he suggested it, but later it still seemed like a good idea."
"You and you're brother get along? Congrats."
"I wouldn't say congrats, most time we disagree. You got siblings?"
"Nope, just my parents and friends. I think it works out; treat my friends like siblings that way." She explained. Gaara nodded, he knew someone like that. Time flew by as they talked at the bar, enjoying drinks while Kankuro and his companion got steadily drunker.

A cloudy haze enveloped them as they stood in the little church, listening as the man pronounced the couple man and wife. Everyone was so happy. The world was happy. There was no way this union would end unhappily. This blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream...And the promise that love, true love, will follow them forever…Surely they will treasure their love.

Gaara woke from the dream with a start, the first thing he noticed was the headache he had received from the prior night's drinking. Squishing his eyes shut he willed it away but that only made it worse. Resigning himself to the pain as a form of punishment for over-indulgence, he rolled over deciding it was best to sleep through it. His hand hit the nightstand. Looking at the offending object he noticed there was something on it. A drink, and a note:

Here you go, it'll help with your headache. Join me in the kitchen when you're ready.

Knowing the note wasn't from his brother, Gaara wondered who else could be in the place they had rented for their stay. He eyed the drink wearily before the closing of a door made the decision for him. Anything to stop the pain. He gulped down the concoction, glad of his choice as the bitter taste caught up to his senses. Grimacing he looked around the room, searching for a visual clue. Nothing was out of place. No clothes were left in the room, the sheets were messed up, most likely from him sleeping.

"When you look at me tell me what do you see, this is what you get it's the way I am, when I look at you I wannabe I wannabe, somewhere close to heaven with Neanderthal man." The voice sounded familiar, definitely female. "Don't go, I know you want to touch me, here there and everywhere, sparks fly when we are together, you can't deny the facts of life." It was definitely coming from the kitchen, maybe this was the person who had made the cure for him. He got out of bed, pulling on a pair of pants before walking out to the kitchen. "You don't have to act like a star, try your moves in the back of the car, don't you know that we can go far, because tonight you gonna get my: Mwah! Mwah!" The voice was getting louder, singing to a song in their head. Peeking around the corner Gaara saw the girl from the night before. She was in their kitchen. Making something edible, dancing around the kitchen as she sung the pop song. "Don't play the games that you play, cause you know that I won't run away, why ain't you asking me to stay, because tonight I'm gonna give you my: Mwah! Mwah!"

He chose this moment to interrupt her. "Morning." He said; deciding simplicity was best in this situation. She stopped singing and dancing, almost dropping the bowl of batter. "Didn't mean to startle you." He apologized quickly, stepping into the kitchen. "Don't be sorry, I just wasn't expecting anyone else to be up yet. Out of the four of us I had the least to drink."
"The four of us?"
"You know; you, me, Kankuro and Uma."
"Uma? She and Kankuro were near each other last night?"
"You must've been a little more sloshed than I thought. You don't remember Kankuro's wedding last night?"
"I remember being at a wedding."
"Then you're probably more aware than he is. So, I'm making pancakes, mind setting the table?"

As they settled into the rhythm of maneuvering around each other in the kitchen a scream was heard from Kankuro's room. "And that would be Uma finding out she just married her ex-boyfriend." Gaara said wryly. "Oh, that's why you were shocked, you could've mentioned it sooner."
"You never brought it up again. Although you did explain the scar, which I will say, again, is impressive."

"How could I have married this, this buffoon! We broke up, that means; I don't wanna be stuck with you for the rest of my life!" Uma ranted at breakfast, ruining the goodness of the chocolate chip pancakes and bacon that had been whipped up. "Uma, I highly doubt I dragged you there, get used to it for five minutes and then we can get it annulled."
"An annulment? I won't have people thinking that there was something wrong with me! You have to fix this Kankuro! I don't want to be the laughing stock of the village!"

"You're not going to add your two cents, Ms. Least-Drunk?" Gaara whispered to Kayla.
"Nope, not in this case. I'd rather not see her reaction if I tell her that the wedding was her idea. Bad idea written all over it."
"Nice self-preservation."
"Yeah, but if she gets much worse I might let the cat out of the bag. Maybe it'll stun her."

"Kankuro, I need you're honest opinion on this; does this outfit look like it was worn yesterday?" Uma asked her new husband.
"No, but you're still a horse." Kankuro said, not even looking up from where he was packing. Uma narrowed her brown eyes at him. Gaara and Kayla simply watched, talking about anything they felt like. "We're getting an annulment, which means that you most surely did not think that I looked like a horse last night!" That sparked another argument, causing the other two to leave under the pretense of leaving something in the kitchen.

Unfortunately, even as they were leaving for the court, the argument wasn't over. "Look, how about we just leave you to your annulment, we'll wait for you at the airport." Gaara suggested, as a last ditch effort to get away from the bickering. "Fine, you might as well. I can see no one cares that my life was almost ruined due to the marriage to this idiot." Uma said, playing a very old pity card. Before anything else could be said, Gaara and Kayla ran off.

"Here's my number, email and address; call me when you get back to Suna." Kayla said, saying her goodbye to Gaara. "Of course, and here's my private email, phone and address as well." Gaara said, handing over the information before pulling Kayla into a hug. "I'll be back at New Year's. I promise you that." He whispered into her ear. "You better be, or I'm heading to Suna to attack the Kazekage." Kayla whispered back before turning into him for a kiss.
"Hey! Hurry up! We have a plane to catch!" Uma's voice screeched behind Gaara as he pulled away from Kayla. "I still can't believe they ended up not getting the annulment." Kayla laughed as Gaara looked back at his sister-in-law.

Momoko: Sorry this is SO LATE Gaara-frenzy! I had the first part done, then got stuck. But, as a double gift, the next TWO chapters of WSI are up!

By the way, if no one knew – Uma is Japanese for Horse.