Warning: quasi-spoilers for 158.
Again, really just a method of therapy for me... because really, CLAMP is being unbelievably cruel to Fay... and yes, I will continue to call him Fay until the manga makes an official change or something.
Disclaimer: I really don't have the creative capacity to torture readers like they do.
Well. This is just a small rant, all my mind was able to spew out in lieu of all this madness that my brain simply cannot handle. An excuse, perhaps?
On with the drabble:
Name
Chest constricting as his king spoke those words, the nameless magician – fit only to be nameless; stealing a name and choosing to erase his own- turned his head, dread wrapping tightly around his lungs, stomach, his whole body, including his hands, which were still, numbly, holding his long-dead twin.
They knew.
He knew.
And his heart could do nothing but plummet at the expression on the ninja's face.
He had said his past did not matter, and yet-
It was a cruel irony for him to respond in such a way, to feel the disgust pouring from the ninja after the things that he had said, the actions that he had taken; after the –apparently false- sense of security the other man had given him throughout their travels.
But his life was filled with it, wasn't it? Irony, and false safety.
Fay.
The stolen name again escaped his king's lips, and only worked to pull him even deeper; drowning him in his own self-loathing and misery.
And yet, what else could he be called? He had made a decision to erase his identity that day, seemingly an eternity ago.
And the man he was kneeling in front of proceeded to torture him even further with misplaced kindness, and the curse of recollection.
And at that moment, he wished, more than ever, to have died in that acid city.
He was saved, however, by the very man that he could not face or think of, not when his eyes held such hatred.
Towards him, or-?
Someone wise once said that by giving your name away, you gave them the ability to take your soul. He didn't have a name anymore, and his soul had somehow faded along with it.
Fin.
a/n: I still can't get over the look on Kuro's face, and sincerely hope that it was directed towards ashura or the situation in general, NOT FAY. I can provide with you with a million arguments for that (which clamp would defy anyway) but it would be way longer than this little drabble anyway… soo..
and, despite the reaction of many, I don't hate fay :D
well... review, tell me your opinions... and criticism is always welcomed. I give cookies for it.