Title: Snapey-poo's New 'Do
Author: Valecia92
Rating: G or K
Summary: Everyone is surprised 6th year when they see Snape looking... well, un-Snape-like. Done purely for laughter's sake. Now AU.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the tiny plot and Amy. All other characters are soley J.K. Rowling's.
Author's Note: Amy Matteny is an American Gryffindor of my own design.
When Amy joined them at the Gryffindor table, they were discussing a very interesting topic:
"Maybe he's the new DADA professor?"
"Well, then, why is he sitting in Snape's chair?"
"He looks somewhat familiar…"
"D'you think he's the new Potions Master?"
"That would mean Snape got sacked!"
"Or he just got promoted to DADA."
"No way… D'you think he coulda been?"
Sitting next to Hermione, Amy looked across at the boys. "I know for a fact he hasn't been."
Ron and Harry looked at each other jubilantly, "Then he's been fired!"
Amy smiled, "Not quite."
Hermione, who had been studying the man with short black hair sitting in Professor Snape's seat at the head table, suddenly exclaimed, "Oh my!"
Both boys' eyes turned to her, "What?"
"I can't… Well, I don't… But…," she turned to Amy. "You?"
Amy grinned. "Oui."
"Oui who?"
She turned to the confused ones. "Guys, I want you to look very hard at the man sitting in Snapey-poo's chair."
They did. There were a few moments of silence, then a simultaneous, "No bloody way in hell."
The man sitting in Snape's chair was, of course, Snape himself. With short, non-greasy hair and a hooked, non-greasy nose.
Amy beamed with pride. "Doesn't he look handsome? It took me for-ever to get him to let me cut it, but I think he's rather pleased with the result."
Hermione looked at the formerly-revolting professor with a critical eye. "I suppose he does look rather dashing without all that hair in his face, doesn't he?"
Ron's eyes narrowed, "Wait, who looks dashing?"
Hermione looked at him exasperatedly. "Snape, of course!"
Harry looked appalled, "Snape? Dashing?"
Ginny walked up behind him, "Hey guys. Have you noticed how good Snape looks this year?"
"Thanks to moi? Yes."
Ginny looked at Amy with appreciation. "Good job with the locks. I bet more students pay attention in his class now, the girls at least." She walked over to the Ravenclaw table to discuss Severus' new 'do with Luna.
Ron and Harry's eyes were wide. "Has everyone gone barmy?" The former exclaimed.
Hermione rolled her brown eyes. "No, some people just realize when it's time to let go of old grudges." She turned to Amy. "With the new hair style his nose rather fits him, don't you think?"
They continued their talk and the boys looked at each other.
"Our girlfriends are discussing Professor Snape."
"A 50 gazillion year old man."
"Harry, he's only thirty-five."
"Amy, quiet, I'm conversing with Ron right now. Anyway, Ron, he's old."
"And ugly."
"Not anymore apparently."
"According to our beloveds, anyway."
"Our so-called beloveds."
"Who are looking at other, older, meaner, greasier men and calling them things like 'dashing'."
"As are many other girls."
"And some boys."
"Shut up, Ron."
"Go back to talking with Amy, Hermione."
"Ron."
"Harry."
"I think the whole world's gone off the deep end, mate."
"I concur, mate."