Yes, I know I have a lot of other stories I should be updating, but I'm in a bit of a rut and this just came to me. This is a story about anorexia, which is a serious condition and not silly or attention seeking. I've never been there myself, so I hope I do this justice.

Here is chapter one of I'm (not) ok.

It started not long after his mother died.

He was reading the backs of food packets in a vain attempt to fill the miserable hours. That's when he discovered calories. And so calorie counting became a sort of hobby, something to keep him occupied, counting all his calories and making sure he didn't go over his recommended daily allowance.

He was ten when he discovered the benefits healthy eating would have on his hair, skin and nails. And doctors were always going on about healthy eating, so it didn't really matter that his calorie intake went down…

… And down and down. As the years passed, he was gradually cutting out all the foods with the most calories, starting with fats, then carbs. But it didn't worry him. He was still eating after all.

But then he came out, and the bullying he had always suffered got dramatically worse. And so did his obsession. Food became the one thing in his life he had control over, something he could focus on whenever things got too much. He would eat an apple in the morning; that was breakfast, wasn't it? His friends didn't think it odd when he had a salad for lunch; they were all girls, so many of them did themselves. And his father always got back from work at about 7.30. How was he to know that his son hadn't really eaten dinner?

It started off as a distraction, a control issue, but pretty soon, Kurt was enjoying the ever-shrinking reflection he saw in the mirror. He liked the feeling of his clothes getting bigger and bigger for him, relished having to go out and buy new, smaller clothes. He liked the fact that he could wear three, four layers, and nobody noticed just how thin he had gotten.

Until he realised that if nobody noticed, it must have meant that nobody cared. Nobody cared enough to notice that he was wasting away. Not his father, or his new stepmother and stepbrother. Not his friends, his teachers. Nobody.

Fine. If no one cared that he was wasting away, then he would just carry on wasting away.

By the time he met Blaine, Kurt found himself needing the three, four, sometimes five layers. The cold seemed to go right through him. And with all those layers, Blaine couldn't see just how thin his friend really was.

But hanging out with Blaine could be dangerous. Sometimes, when they went for coffee, he would buy a cookie or a muffin and insist on sharing it. There were only so many times Kurt could refuse. Every bite was painful. He could just feel the weight bubbling inside him with every tiny mouthful he swallowed, and the second he got home, he would put himself through an hour of rigorous exercise to make sure he burned it all off. And unlike the girls, Blaine would comment that a salad was not lunch. Kurt would laugh it off and say he always ate light at lunch because he ate dinner early. He didn't know if it convinced Blaine, but at least the boy didn't suspect what was really going on.

But that, of course, changed when they became a couple. They had only been dating for a week, and were cuddled together on the sofa watching a movie when Blaine asked him the dreaded question.

"Kurt, how much do you weigh?"

Said boy froze. After a few seconds, he shrugged. "I don't know."

"It's just that… well, you feel awfully thin."

Part of Kurt was smirking internally. He was pretty thin. The other part, however, was panicking. It's ok! Just stay calm!

"I've always been a little thin. It's just my body shape."

"Are you sure? Because… well, Mercedes showed me a picture of the two of you from about a year ago, and… well, you're a lot thinner now than you were back then."

"So I've lost a little weight since then! What's the big deal?" Kurt huffed. Now Blaine was just being ridiculous. He wasn't that thin for goodness sakes!

Blaine sighed. "Kurt… do you… eat?"

"Of course I eat! You've seen me eat tons of times!"

"I only ever see you eat salads, Kurt. With nothing in them, just lettuce! And… your brother said that you never eat dinner. You always say that you ate a big lunch and that you'll have a snack later. But I know for a fact that you don't eat a big lunch, and I'm willing to bet that you never get around to eating that snack either."

"And what exactly is your point Blaine?" Kurt huffed.

"I… Kurt, I have to be honest… I think you're anorexic."

That was it.

"Anorexic? I'm not anorexic Blaine! Just because I'm a little thin and I watch what I eat doesn't mean that I'm ill! I don't even weigh myself! So how can I be anorexic?" he yelled.

"You won't step on a pair of scales because you're too afraid to see how little you really weigh!"

"That's… not true," Kurt insisted with a lot less conviction than he wanted.

"Kurt, I think you need to see a doctor. Someone you can talk to, who can help you."

"Help me? There's nothing wrong with me! I'm sorry I'm not perfect, but I am not ill, and I am not anorexic!"

And with that, he grabbed his bag and his jacket and stormed out, ignoring Blaine's pleas that he come back.

Blaine didn't know what he was talking about. He wasn't anorexic. He wasn't ill. He was perfectly healthy. Just a little on the thin side.

There was nothing wrong with him.

Well, there's chapter one. The start was a little different from my usual style (ie, no dialogue lol) but I hope you enjoyed it. I think this will be a three shot but I'm not sure.

Please review, I'd love to see what you think!

Until the next chapter! xxx