I'm gonna ask you to look away.
The hearing in Luke's left ear went a bit hazy at the gunshot. His eyes, boring sternly into Kenny's as he lie underneath him widened in shock as he felt the pressure suddenly being lifted off his chest, felt Kenny fall to the ground beside him and listened through his right ear as the knife clattered lifelessly onto the snow.
He sat up, and his hearing began to return to him. He listened to the blood pumping in his head and felt the familiar pang in his leg telling Luke that he was, in fact, alive. The young man turned behind himself, watched as the gun dropped from Clementine's tiny hands, recognizing the grief on her face.
She ignored him and ran to Kenny, curled her little fingers around his shoulders as he told her she did the right thing, that she was a good girl. Tears slipped from her skin, pattering against the ground. Luke realized this was the first time he had ever seen her cry.
A minute passed, and Kenny was already dead. Luke blinked, and Clem had the gun in her hand again, firing a shot into the man's brain in order to keep him from turning.
"Clem," he said slowly, standing up from the ground. "Why'd you do that?"
She avoided his eyes, keeping her gaze fixed on the snowy ground beneath them. "To make sure he didn't turn."
"No, not that." Luke shook his head. "Why did you shoot him in the first place?"
"Isn't it obvious? He was gonna kill you." she only got angry when she was upset. This, he had picked up on already.
Luke mulled over this in his head. Kenny had him pinned - he was pretty strong for an older man. A knife over his heart. Furious at him for some stupid, petty disagreement. Would he have killed him?
"When I first met that man, I never would have taken him for a killer." Luke said thoughtfully, furrowing his eyebrows. "But along the way, something changed."
"He lost it," Clementine supplied, sniffling as she wiped her sleeve under her nose. "He couldn't handle losing Katjaa. Losing Duck. Losing Sarita." The first two names Luke reckoned he had heard before, but couldn't pinpoint where or when exactly. He'd have questioned further if Clem wasn't in such a dismal mood.
Luke put a comforting hand on her shoulder, trying his best to avoid upsetting her even more. She wasn't a very touchy-feely kind of kid, but he had never seen her in such bad shape before. "Hey," he said softly, "It's okay."
"No, it isn't." Sobs shook her body, frightening him a little bit. "Everyone… is dead."
"I'm still here, Clem." he reminded her, arching one eyebrow.
"Everyone… that I knew before," Clementine corrected herself, burying her face into her palms. "Everyone that knew Lee... they're all gone now. It's like he never even existed to anyone but me."
Luke shook his head. It hurt him to see her like this - she was so tough, so… hardened that it was rather difficult to ever see her as the little girl she really was. Only now, as she was dropping tears and tearing at the seams right in front of him, he remembered she wasn't even twelve.
"Your mind is a powerful thing, you know." he told her, his voice hardly louder than all of her whimpering caught up in the midst of her tears, "The people we've lost… they're not gone forever, Clem. They live on in our memories." It sounded awfully cheesy, but it was the only thing he could think of to solace what was left of the little girl's shattered innocence in such a dark time.
Clem slowly raised her chin to look up at the sky. A few tears fell from her face and pattered onto the ground, her eyes all puffy and red, but Luke knew better than to say anything about it.
"I'm glad that you're still here, Luke." she said a little quietly. "Thank you for... for not leaving me."
He blinked, taking in her words. It was funny hearing her talk so kindly to him, considering she never really showed much affection towards anyone at all. The only person she ever talked sweetly of was Lee, from before he knew her. Of course, it was obvious that Luke and Clementine had a closer relationship, that they were good friends, but her rough exterior almost always responded to his warmth with back-talk and playful, but mean-spirited insults.
"Of course," he said, accepting her statement with a smile gracing his lips. "I'm never gonna leave you, Clem."
She shook her head. "Please don't be lying when you tell me that."
Luke held out his pinky towards the young girl. She paused, lifting her chin in curiosity, and then wrapped her own smaller finger around his in sincerity.
"There," Luke said. "Now it's a promise."
I love my hands but it hurts to pray.
It was almost funny, how things had worked out. When Rebecca died cradling her newborn to her chest in protection, only to devour the poor thing moments later, it was a taste of bitter irony that flooded Clementine's mouth. That's what she told him, anyways. She screamed out loud and instinctively sent a bullet into the dead woman's head, only to spark an unintentional war.
The minute the ice began to crack around Jane's toes, her eyes met with Luke's and they both knew then that she was going to die even before it broke. The hopelessness of her predicament did nothing to stun Clementine, only sent the little girl tumbling after her through the ice until Luke himself had to pull her back through the surface and manually push air into her lungs. It was a scary thing, wondering if after everything they had gone through a stupid block of ice was going to be the deciding factor, the sealer of Clem's fate.
But instead, she pulled through just as everyone else fell apart. Bonnie, Mike, and Arvo left. They shot Clem in the shoulder - those stupid fucks. He and Kenny ended up together not out of like for each other, but simply because both were deeply invested in Clementine's safety.
Everything was okay, for a few days while Clementine was still healing, still sleeping. They mostly ignored each other, quickly realizing all they would do was start arguments. But then once their youngest member was mostly aware and well and the group had to begin discussing where to go from there, that was when things got bad.
"We need to head back down towards the cabin, towards Carver's camp. That's the only place we got food, shelter, electricity…" that was Kenny's argument.
But Luke wouldn't risk it. "What if some of that vermin's still crawling around over there? I say we go up north."
"Up north where exactly? Towards Wellington?" the older man sneered.
"Yes, towards Wellington, because that's the best goddamn bet we got at this point - ''
"It's cold enough as it is, now why the fuck would we go ahead and get even colder?"
"Winter's halfway over by now - ''
"Oh, halfway over! Well, fuckin' hallelujah!"
They went back and forth like that for hours, squabbling like a couple of teenagers. Clem was damn well sick of it, it was pretty easy to tell by the way she kept to herself, snapping at both of them anytime she was spoken to, up until Kenny split open.
The old man pounced on him, pushing himself right up to Luke's nose as he hurled insults at the country boy. Calling him an idiot, calling him an asshole, calling him anything he could think of in the midst of his fury. And then he threw the first punch, and things just deteriorated from that point on until the only sound Luke could hear was Clementine screaming, and he was pretty damn sure he was already dead up until the gunshot rang.
While Luke was glad he still had her, he really wasn't sure if he was all that fit to care for a child. Of course, Kenny was a little crazy, but at least he had a kid before any of this even happened. And he did care about Clementine - he knew what to do, at least. But Luke - he didn't even know how to change a diaper. Not that she was a baby or anything like that, but…
He never knew what to do. How to make her feel better when she was upset, how to let her know he cared. They camped out in the car one night, hidden neatly in the garage of some suburban home half-buried under mountains and mountains of snow. It was icy enough outside and practically frozen solid in the car too. He flattened out the barrier between the trunk and back seats down so there was enough space for both of them, and even gave Clementine her own little blanket.
He woke up halfway through the night to the sound of her teeth chattering. "Whatsa matter, Clem?" Luke murmured, the drowsiness evident in his voice.
"C-c-cold," she replied gruffly.
His eyes opened a little wider, the sleepiness slipping off of him like a sheet. It felt fine to him - cold of course, but bearable. Was it 'cause she was so small that she was freezing? It didn't make much sense to him, but there had to be some kind of reason, right? Either way, he had to do something before she died of hypothermia and bit him right on the neck.
Luke turned on his side, facing her. "You, uh… you wanna cuddle?"
Clementine wrinkled her nose up, still shivering. "Gross."
He let out a chuckle, and said, "Okay, well, it's either that or you freeze to death, kid, so your choice."
In a lot of ways, Clem was like the little sister Luke never had. She liked to tease him a lot. She was tough as nails, but underneath that solid exterior there lay a heart of gold still left untouched by the cruel reality of the world she had been thrown into. She was a pretty cute kid, and she got along with both him and Nick - when he was still there. Luke almost wished he'd known the little girl before everything went bad, maybe gotten a chance to see what she was like back then.
She said, teeth still knocking against each other like bowling pins, "I'll take my chances."
The life I have isn't what it seems.
Once the winter was nearly over, they hardly ran into people anymore. Clementine wondered if maybe people were almost gone for good, but was a little too frightened to ponder the question any further than a fleeting thought.
Often times when they were settling for the night, Clementine would watch camp while Luke sought out a meal for them. They usually found homes, or sheds, or cars, or some kind of shelter to sleep in, but this particular day they were up against the elements in a little clearing guarded by a plethora of trees and bushes. The snow was melting on the ground and it was warm enough that Clem only needed one coat, but she was definitely not looking forward to resting in the cold, outside air.
Luke told her to put out the fire while he was gone. She agreed to, but ended up ignoring him because she wanted to take a nap and the sun had only just begun to set; who would see the smoke anyway…?
Clementine woke up very suddenly to voices. They were gruff and gravelly, old and mean. She sprang up from her spot on the ground and a gasp escaped from her throat right as a hand snaked around to guard her mouth.
"Don't bite and we won't hurt you, honey." Normally, she would have chomped down anyway, but the thing was that this voice wasn't the owner of the hand; this voice was veered off somewhere, a little off track. And she didn't know where her gun was - it had probably slipped out of her pocket while she was sleeping since she couldn't feel its weight in the back of her jeans. A different voice chuckled a little, and said, "Too bad."
Rope went around her wrists, holding her hands behind her back and she felt like she was in Carver's camp all over again. Two men stepped in front of her while the cord looped around her hands, pulling it taut until she couldn't quite feel her hands so well.
The men were a little unsettling to look at; funny smiles graced their faces and they both had pretty noticeably unkept hair all sticking up in places. One was graying at the seams and the other seemed brunette, but it was kind of hard to tell in only the firelight.
Gray said,"What's your name, angel? I'm Elliot, and this is my friend Victor. Daniel's behind you."
The skin webbed over Clementine's mouth dropped, presumably working on knotting her cuffs and allowing her to speak. The young girl licked her lips, thinking for a moment, before fibbing, "My name is Sarah."
"Well, Sarah, aren't you a pretty little thing." the man named Elliot said with a chuckle. "You look a little young, but men gotta take what they can get in these times I'll tell ya."
"Ain't gonna be a kid for long, that's for damn sure," the person behind her said. Goosebumps rose on Clementine's shoulders, sending a funny tingle all the way down her spine.
"Elliot, man, what if the kid isn't alone and someone comes back?" the man called Victor said, his voice a little unsure.
"If she had someone, I'm sure she'd'a called out for 'em by now, son," Elliot said, plenty confident in himself. He turned back to Clementine, that same bizarre smile making her shrink a little deeper into herself. "You by yourself, aren't ya, sweetie?"
She responded by nodding her head, attempting to convey as much fear into her body movement as possible. Once Elliot faced Victor again and the two began to bicker, Clementine shot her elbows back as sharply as she could, emitting a grunt from the one behind her. She fell backwards and scrambled up to her feet, only for a strong pair of knuckles to meet her cheekbone so hard she heard a crack in the wells of her eardrum as she plummeted back towards the dirt.
"What the fuck, you stupid little bitch? What are you trying to pull here?" a new voice - probably the one that had been standing behind her - slid over her skinny body, straddling her and making escape impossible, especially with the pounding in her head…
She could call out for Luke. She could scream. But then - then they would know that he was there, and she couldn't do that to him.
They punched her again, in the same sore spot. She cried out as they chuckled amongst themselves."You're gonna regret that, honey." Clementine closed her eyes tight; she didn't want to hear them anymore, only the man called Elliot continued, "We was gonna play nice with you, but now that you wanna put up a fight, looks like we're gonna have to rough you up, ain't that right boys?"
She felt a hand gingerly pat down her shirt and she was sure that they were going to cut her stomach open or something with the way they were touching her. And they were all laughing too, which made things even worse, until -
Three shots rang out - one right after the other. The one man collapsed on top of Clementine, crushing her chest and she coughed and hacked up until the weight was lifted off of her and she could finally breathe again.
"Clem, Clem…" Luke was breathless, his voice gritty and rough as he struggled to inhale. "Clem, did they - did they hurt you?"
Her voice was a little dry. "One of them hit me."
"On your cheek? Does it hurt?" she nodded her head yes. "But - but other than that, they didn't touch you or nothing, right? Didn't make you do anything… anything weird?"
Clementine furrowed her eyebrows, taking a long pause before she replied. "They said… weird stuff."
Luke didn't say anything, just walked over to sit behind her and untie the rope binding her wrists together. He kept swearing, kept cursing himself. "Fuck. God damnit. Fucking sick pieces of shit. Fuck..."
"Luke, why are you so mad? I'm fine." Clementine was confused, an anxious expression harrowing across her face.
"It's…" Luke shut his eyes tight, like he was trying to force a teardrop out. When they opened again, he said, "It's nothing, Clem. I'm just… shit, I'm just glad you're okay, kid." He wrapped his arms around her in a random show of affection. Clementine, a little, taken aback by this bizarre move, awkwardly allowed herself to melt into his embrace.
"You and I, kid, we're a team." Luke said, happiness once again lacing into his voice. "And a pretty damn good one at that."
The sky's not blue and the field's not green.
Clementine was counting and he was hiding.
It was stupid. Really stupid. The only thing that made her feel a little less stupid was the fact that Luke probably felt even more idiotic doing the whole thing than she did.
But it was fun. When he found her, he tickled her and she laughed so hard that tears sprang at the creases of her eyes, flowing down her cheeks as she continued to screech and giggle like the little girl she was. Luke started to laugh, too, and he said, "It's nice to see you enjoying yourself like this."
"Shut up," Clementine said, choking down another cackle. "It's my turn to count."
They were in some building - probably used to be a museum or something, but it was incredibly large and surprisingly safe so they had decided to rest there for a day. Luke was the one that had started it; he hid first, jumped out and scared her while she was taking off her coat.
"...Twenty. Come out, come out, wherever you are." Clem called out, a smirk rising onto her lips as she began to search for her friend. It was only a few moments before she heard the cry.
"Agh, shit!"
Her heartbeat sped up a bit. "Luke?!" she hollered, and received a few gruff grunts in response. Clementine spun her head around and raced towards the burgundy-colored curtain concealing a large window across the way from her counting spot up against the wall. She tore the fabric from its grip, and saw Luke's figure lying on the floor, free from walkers and animals alike.
Clementine crawled through the open window and kneeled beside her friend, only she wasn't too prepared to see his leg, caught at the ankle in some sort of… spiky metal thing.
"L-Luke, what is that?"
"It's a…" his breathing was heavy and labored, sweat dripping down his face and off his chin. "A bear t-trap, Clem."
She immediately tried to pry her little fingers underneath the claw of the thing, only for blood to spurt out of an instant incision on her index finger. She cried out in pain, as Luke continued to groan.
"Kid, you - you gotta get me outta this thing," the young man pleaded with her, making eye contact as she sucked on her wound tenderly.
"How?" Clementine asked, brows furrowing, but she already knew.
The days are gray and the nights are bland.
Luke was out for a long time. Days. Almost a week. She was so worried he was going to die that she didn't let herself sleep, not even nap for a little bit, both out of fear he would turn while she was snoozing and anxiety for her friend's life. What if in his last moments, she wasn't there? Clementine could never forgive herself for that.
She was scared of losing him. She didn't want to be alone - she couldn't be alone. Luke helped her, he saved her from those people, he always made her feel better, he was her best friend.
Her stomach hurt so bad because she hadn't eaten - she was saving all the food for him when he woke up. Their medicine, too, the few painkillers that they had adopted through the months, he was going to need them for sure.
When he finally woke up, she was lying against the wall staring up at the ceiling. She heard a groan, and for a second feared that her beloved companion had turned, but then heard a weary, "Clem?"
"Luke!" the little girl cried out, throwing her arms his torso happily. "You're awake!"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am. How… how long was I out?" he asked, his voice still shallow. "Ugh, my fuckin' arm..."
"I only got rid of the foot, and I wrapped it up pretty good so I think you should be okay." Clementine said, "There are some painkillers in the… the, uh…"
Very suddenly, the enthusiasm that had fueled her through Luke's revival suddenly slowed to a stop. Her vision blurred and head fell backwards as she hit the pavement, stomach growling and teeth clenching in hunger and discomfort.
"Clementine? What's wrong?" Luke's voice began fizzing into static through her eardrums. She closed her eyes, curling into the hard ground underneath her as she drifted into sleep.
When she woke up, Luke offered her water and was absolutely shocked when she refused.
"No. It's for you." she said.
"Come on, kid, I ain't gonna let you kill yourself for me." he raised an eyebrow. "Although, that's what I'll bet you've been doing."
Clementine immediately became defensive. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay!"
"When was the last time you slept, before I came to?"
"That doesn't - ''
"Last thing you ate?"
"Shut - ''
"You can't value my life over your own, Clem." Luke scolded her, thrusting the water bottle back into her face.
Resentfully, she took a sip before speaking. "But I - I care about you."
"And I care about you just as much." he said, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "And together, we're a team. That's why both sides gotta be healthy and alert, you see? Imagine if a horde of walkers, or some bandits came through, and I was all defenseless like I was and you were halfway dead. What woulda happened then?"
She didn't like this. "But I'm fine."
"For now. You pull this kinda stunt again and I'll really lecture ya." Luke concluded his scolding by patting the young girl on the top of her head, emitting an annoyed sound from her as she readjusted the hat on top of her head.
A broken life will never stay.
One-legged Luke had his difficulties, but he adapted to his new lifestyle surprisingly well. They only moved slightly slower than usual, and tended to rest in areas for longer periods of time, but aside from that everything was almost normal.
One time, he went scouring through a building while she covered him and he returned with two cans of olives, a beer, and a bottle of soda. He set up a whole picnic, throwing their blanket over the grass and setting up their meals across from each as if they were at a dinner table. He let her drink most of the soda because she was so excited - Clementine couldn't stop smiling and talking that day. She never got to drink soda at home, only on special occasions like Christmas and Thanksgiving, and she told Luke about how she would have to sit at a separate table with all of her little cousins and other weird kids. He laughed, and told her that when they were kids, Nick would always come over and eat with his family for holidays.
"Why didn't he eat with his own family?" she asked.
Luke offered a little bit of a sad smile. "He only had his dad, and that man didn't want him around much."
"What do you mean?"
The country boy sighed, tipping his head up towards the setting sky. "Well, I dunno if this is too heavy a topic for a kid your age, but Nick's dad used to beat him up quite a bit."
"Oh," Clementine said. "Why?"
"He was kind of a drunk." Luke supplied, taking a swig of his drink.
"There was a man back at Carver's camp." Clementine said suddenly, wrinkling her nose at the memory. "His name was Troy, and he would hit me all the time."
"What a jackass." Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm real sorry about that, Clem. Sorry I wasn't able to protect you."
"It's not your job, you know. Most of the time I feel like I'm the one protecting you."
"You've sure got a mouth on you, huh?"
Clementine only grinned.
Tried too hard and I always lack.
They were only a day away from Wellington, but stuck inside the lobby of a hotel.
Luke had a fever, and wasn't in much of a position to be on foot. He drifted in and out of consciousness, relentlessly persisting he was perfectly fine, and then passed out again the moment he tried to stand.
She needed to find him medicine. They were a few small clusters of walkers scattered around, but nothing she couldn't handle by herself. She laced through them like a sewing needle, seamlessly entering and exiting different stores, different herds in order to obtain what they required so desperately.
Clementine had been scavenging for a few hours and the sun was already beginning to set over the horizon. She hoped Luke hadn't woken up, but in case he did she left him a note explaining her whereabouts. He wasn't going to come after her - not like he could anyway.
She found bullets. Knives. Some food. Clothes. All good things, but never what they needed.
The young girl was about to turn back for the day, squatted on the ground, when a fist slammed into the side of her face, impacting her jaw roughly right before she fell to the ground, her gun clattering out of her hands and out of reach. She coughed, metallic blood mixing with her spit. Then Clementine opened her eyes to an unfamiliar face glaring down at her. "What're you looking for around here, kid?"
"Do… do you…" Clementine crawled backwards until she hit the wall, cursing herself for how she had twitched at the sudden impact, but she had been caught way off guard. "Have any… any medicine? I really, really need it."
In the dimly lit room, she could barely make out the man raising one eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"
"It's not for me. It's for my friend." she explained, drawing her knees up to her chest to keep them from chattering against each other.
"Your friend, huh?" the man lowered himself until he was level with her. Clementine grimaced. He smelled like beer.
"I got some medicine, girl. I got some to spare, too." he smiled lecherously, exposing his teeth like a wolf. She forced a smile upon her lips, ignoring the disagreement in her stomach. "Could I please have some - ''
He moved quick and a sting ripped across her face, the sound of his open palm smacking her cheek burning into the room. She cried out, a loose tooth flying through the air out of her mouth.
"You still want the medicine?" he sounded amused.
"Yes, please - ''
He beat her up a little bit, but not too bad. Mostly just on her face, a black eye and some bruises everywhere. It didn't even last very long, and he tossed the medicine right to her after his last punch. He chuckled and said, "There. You might need it a little more now."
What disturbed her was that he wasn't aiming to kill her, nor did he have any reason to. He was just bored, and beating her like that was something to do.
As she scurried back to the hotel, she thought about Nick and his dad. Was this how he felt when his dad hit him? Was it worse, or not as bad? If he was still alive, she would want to talk to him about it for sure.
"Luke, Luke." Clementine whispered, shaking her sleeping companion's body back and forth on the floor. He grumbled under his breath in exhaustion, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.
"What is it, Clem?" a yawn tore through his mouth.
She reached for his hand, unfurling his fingers before resting the bottle of pills in his palm. His eyes opened, staring incredulously at the object before he raised his gaze towards her battered features. "Where did you - what the hell? What happened to you?"
"I'm fine!" she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest and standing from her spot. "I'm gonna get you some water."
"Who did that to you?" Luke sounded angry now.
Clementine shrugged, her back turned to him. "I dunno, some guy. Why does it matter?"
"Some guy? What was his name? What else did he do?"
"He didn't hurt me that bad, it's not a big deal." Clementine brought the bottle of water over to her resting companion, sitting up in his makeshift bed of sheets and pillows. "Besides, he gave me the medicine."
"You gotta stop letting yourself get hurt for my benefit," he began to scold her, tossing a couple of pills into his mouth and swallowing with the water, "Here now, you take some too."
"Wouldn't you do the same for me?" she asked, suddenly accusatory.
Luke looked her in the eye, still holding out two pills for her to take. "Take them."
She hastily shoved the things down her throat, burning her throat without any water. Ignoring the sensation, she peered at him with a little more ferocity in her eyes. "Wouldn't you do the same for me?"
"Clementine," Luke wrapped his arms around the young girl in a hug. "I would do anything for you. You know that. I just don't like seein' you hurt, okay? I don't want you hurt like this anymore."
He said, "I love you, Clem. You're like my little sister or some shit, you know?"
She had been stiff the whole time, but then nestled into his embrace, feeling a little drowsy from the medicine and finally content with his answer. "Yeah," Clementine said, "I know."
Wait for me.
When they made it, the snow wasn't falling anymore. There were only three footprints on the dirt ground, two tiny and one big.
Kids always got let in. By default, someone said to them in passing. But it didn't matter. They didn't care, as long as they were together.
They had waited.
This is just something I wrote for a friendship I completely adore: Luke and Clementine. This is in no way meant to be romantic or 'Cluke'.
The song is Wait For Me by Moby.
Have a great day.