WD: I've been away for a bit and this is just something to help me get back into the swing of things. BTW there's no math involved. :D
Warnings: Yaoi, Cursing, sleep molestation? Some things that could be interpreted as mild bullying, short little almost-lemons that will piss off the pervs until a few chapters later, OOC, Violence, humor attempts, oh and dub-con
Pairings: Hikarishipping, Yamishipping
Pythagorean Theorem
Once upon a time, three hikaris had a sleep over.
"Malik, it's your bed! Just sleep in the middle."
"Yeah, it's not like we all won't fit."
"Really guys, I'll just-"
"No way! Malik you have to."
"But Yugi-"
"You will sleep in the bed and you will like it!"
While sleeping arrangements were being put in place, just down the hall, three yamis were already settling in and deciding what to watch on T.V. together.
"Let's watch the card games channel!"
"There is no card games channel."
"Let's watch a horror movie."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I said so and if there's a problem with watching an action flick, you can go in the living room. Actually, you can't because you'll steal shit, so you'll just have to get the fuck over it instead."
"…well you're awfully chipper tonight…"
"Aren't I?"
"Since we don't get to pick the movie, we should at least get to sleep on the bed with you."
"Absolutely."
"Now you lovebirds are ganging up on me? No. Hell no. Fuck no and a half. I refuse to have to wake up in the middle of the night to find you two fucking on my hair or some freaky shit like that."
The night carried on in this fashion with the six souls in the two rooms until everyone fell asleep. Or at least a third of everyone did…
"Ryou?"
"Hm?"
"I think he's asleep."
"Malik… Malik…" Ryou called softly while gently poking Malik's side.
"Mali-"
THWACK!
"What the hell Yugi?! Why'd you slap him?"
"What? Now we know for sure that he's sleeping."
"If he's not unconscious!"
"Oh come on, he's tougher than that."
Ryou quickly shushed his friend as Malik rolled over onto his back. His shirt had ridden up at some point during the night, leaving his oh-so-seductive midriff exposed for wandering eyes and eventually wandering hands…
Just down the hallway, something a little different was happening.
Marik was a very unique sleeper. In order for him to rest well, the T.V. had to be and that was it. Light from outside the door or window would keep him awake. The sound of his ceiling fan or a spider farting would keep him awake. Absolutely nothing but the T.V. could be on. And if the T.V. was off, he couldn't fucking sleep.
So, naturally, when these perfect conditions were disturbed by something, such as a pair of lips spontaneously pressing themselves against his own, he woke up.
Yami's lips pressed aggressively against Marik's. He took immediate advantage of the gasp produced by Bakura's wrapping firmly around Marik's quickly forming erection.
Many people have the notion that waking up with a tongue in your mouth and a hand in your pants is a wonderful thing. Fuck all of those people. It means being tired in the morning when Rishid came to drag Marik to the museum to do Ishizu-knows-what. In an attempt to not look like a zombie in four hours when he had to get up, Marik pulled away from Yami and almost managed to get Bakura's hand off his dick.
"Kura… No…" Marik gasped out as he shoved ineffectually at the molesting hands.
His battle was quickly lost when the entirety of his length was engulfed in heat and wetness. All the way to the hilt, which was pretty fucking impressive by the way.
Marik let his head fall back with a groan even as he tried to guess how many cups of coffee he was going to need to stay sane when the sun came up.