Looking for Angels
Chapter One: Breathe in
Dean lost his mother when he was four, his father turning to alcohol and his work at the garage to cope while he was passed to family and friends to be watched. Because of the lack of a maternal instinct, Dean was a very strong willed child and came off as rough, intimidating those younger than him. This was the case when he first met a curly haired brunette named Castiel. The boy was three and dressed in a strange outfit with wings on the back, sewn on by his strange adoptive parents Becky and Chuck. He was brought to Dean's house to play with his two year old brother, the two hitting it off easily. His older brother, a six year old named Gabriel, came along as well. Dean tried to play with him but the boy was so annoying he couldn't help but run and hide from him. It was at that time Castiel and Dean truly met.
Sitting in a closet to avoid Gabriel and his constant pranks, Dean is surprised to see the smaller brother open the door and peak inside. The boy remains quiet and simply walks in with him, plopping down beside him and staring at him curiously.
"U-um…what are you doing?" Dean asks, making Castiel jump a little and cry. He tries to shut him up in every way he can; promising him treats, toys, hugging him, but nothing works and soon everyone in the house comes up and sees them in there.
"What are you doing in there?" John asks, annoyed.
"I was just hanging out in here when he came in and started crying!" Dean explains as Gabriel walks up and picks up the crying boy.
"He's not good with older kids other than me and Anna." Gabriel explains before making funny faces and noises until his brother begins to giggle.
"The older kids in the orphanage were cruel to Castiel." Becky says to John, who sighs.
"Well, I assure you Dean would never be mean to him." He promises, looking to his son. "Right?"
Dean nods, "That's right!" He says and goes up to Castiel who instantly falls silent again. "I promise I won't ever be mean to you!"
Castiel stares at him curiously, his wide eyes looking the boy over as his head tilts slightly.
"I'm Dean!" Dean adds, holding a hand out, "Let's be friends!"
The brunette smiles at Dean, taking the outstretched hand in both of his. "Dean!"
"That's right!"
Gabriel rolls his eyes and looks to the little boy beside him, "Well Sam, I guess we got edged out."
As the years pass Dean and Castiel become best friends, by the time Castiel was five he was practically inseparable from the older boy. Anna didn't like it so she kept a close eye on the two, but Gabriel didn't care and spent more time with Sam, mostly playing tricks on him. Since he turned six, Castiel's father Chuck began writing a book called Supernatural about two brothers, Jensen and Jared, that fight demons and other weird creatures. It hasn't gotten him much money or attention, but he's only written two books so who knows. Sam is now seven, smarter than most kids his age, and close to Castiel and his brother as well. They are all very happy, and despite the strange feelings Dean has been getting when around his best friend recently.
"Dean! Look!" An eight year old Castiel calls, tugging his best friend's arm and pointing him towards his own backyard. "Mommy got her garden put in!"
Dean rolls his eyes, allowing himself to be dragged anyways. "Cas, I'm a boy, something I thought you were too. I don't care about flowers."
Castiel looks at him amused, "Dean you know I'm a boy." He says simply, making Dean's cheeks turn a slight red. "Besides, flowers mean animals!"
"Huh?" Dean raises a brow, "Animals?"
"Butterflies for one!" Castiel brings him to the garden in his backyard, a relatively small one with no more than six flowers in it, but according to Becky it's a beautiful garden. Dean begs to differ.
"Butter-? Cas for the last time! Men don't care about butterflies!" Dean huffs, crossing his arms. "Besides, butterflies don't come to people."
Castiel pouts at him, "They don't?"
"W-well…not…usually…" Dean mumbles, his annoyance crumbling into a familiar yet unnamed feeling of affection. "But…they like sugar and people's sweat is sugar so-!"
"Actually it's salt…" Castiel points out and Dean quickly gets him into a head lock.
"An eight year old can't know more than me!" He says teasingly as Castiel giggles.
"You always mix up salt and sugar…"
"They are both white and start with an 's'. I remember which shaker each is in!" Dean huffs.
"Salt is bitter, which is why it keeps demons away!" Castiel explains happily and Dean laughs.
"That's not why! And stop reading your dad's stories, you're too young!"
"He likes it when I read them, and I already told you I am a big fan of the main character Jensen!"
Dean lets him go and smiles, "He's my favorite, too! Out of the two books he has written, Jensen is definitely the more kickass than Jared!"
"Dean! Look!" Castiel says before letting out a small noise of excitement.
Dean turns to where he is looking and sees a blue butterfly fluttering around. "Wow it is actually close!"
Castiel's smile grows wider as the butterfly moves closer to him, finally coming to land on his hand. "Dean! Dean! Look!" He exclaims.
"Awesome!" Dean says in excitement and reaches out, his hands hovering on either side of Castiel's so he doesn't scare the butterfly. "This is so cool!"
Castiel grins at him, "Yeah! It's so blue!"
"Like your eyes!" Dean blurts out before flushing. "I-I mean-!"
"Yeah! Yeah like my eyes!" Castiel agrees, visibly fighting the urge to move around in excitement.
"Boys!" Chuck calls, making the butterfly fly away, "I need Castiel inside!" He says and the two boys share a disappointed look before Castiel runs up to the house. "Sam is out front, Dean, you should bring him home."
Dean smiles at Chuck and nods, running to grab his little brother. "Sammy!" He calls, making the seven year old look up from his book and smile.
"Hey Dean, Chuck took Cas too?" Sam asks and Dean nods.
"Yeah, I take it he grabbed Gabe as well?"
"Family meeting, I guess." The younger brother says, standing up and walking to Dean.
"Well, let's head home and I'll make you dinner." Dean offers, walking his little brother home.
It's around seven that evening that there's a knock on Dean's door, a frantic sort of knock. Getting worried, Dean runs to it and opens it to see Castiel standing there in tears.
"Cas!" Dean gasps, pulling his friend into a hug. "What's wrong Cas?"
"I-I-!" Castiel chokes out a sob, digging his fingers into Dean's coat and sobbing into his shoulder.
"We're moving." Gabriel says somberly as he walks up the porch steps to come in. "Dad's book is getting really popular, a big publisher was it so we are moving." He explains, patting his little brother on the head before walking further inside to see Sam.
"W-wait…" Dean mumbles weakly, "You…are going?" He asks and Castiel sniffles, looking up at him with tear filled eyes.
"Daddy said it's forever!" Castiel cries.
"No!" Dean yells, his grip tightening on the boy. "I-I'll kidnap you! You can stay here! I'll adopt you!"
Castiel shakes his head no, "You have to be eighteen to adopt…and mommy and daddy would look here first if I disappeared."
"This isn't fair, though!" Dean screams, burying his face into Castiel's hair as the two boys cry.
The day of the move is just as hard, Gabriel having to pick Castiel up and carry the crying boy into the car as they leave. John gives Chuck and Becky their number and address so the boys can write before picking up Dean as he throws a tantrum and dragging him inside with a solemn Sam holding his free hand. As soon as Castiel arrives at his new home he sends Dean a letter so he knows his address, telling him about how big their new house is and how their garden now has way more than six flowers. Dean quickly writes back, asking if Becky is actually the one taking care of it or if they hired someone, to which Castiel informed him they now have help around the house.
For a year they send each other letters and call one another every Friday, birthday, and holiday. Gabriel calls Castiel weird for the attachment and Sam asks Dean if he's in love with Castiel. Both shrug off their brother's teases and continue until one day, when Castiel is nine. He receives his latest letter to Dean with a 'return to sender' message. Figuring Dean has moved and will call him again, he waits. He waits a whole year, and then another year, and by the time he's twelve he completely gives up and moves on.
Five years later Castiel enrolls in a college about midway between his home and Dean's, not for any sentimental reason, it was simply the closest college that had his desired major. In all honesty he doesn't want to be anywhere near that old town and those old feelings he has been avoiding since Dean stopped talking to him. His brother and sister go there as well, both dorming and eager for him to join them. He can't get a room with his brother though, since Gabriel is slotted for a new roommate already. Instead he got a room with his best friend Balthazar.
"Hey Cassie!" Balthazar calls, coming up to his friend with an arm full of boxes. "Are you going to just stand there or are you going to hit the elevator button?"
Castiel comes out of his thoughts and hits it to go to the fourth floor. "Right, my apologies."
"Nah, it's all good." Balthazar says, walking in ahead of him. "I just wish we didn't have so much stuff."
"That is always the hassle with moving, which is why I brought as little as possible." Castiel mumbles and Balthazar laughs.
"Five boxes of yours are just books, Cassie, how is that 'as little as possible'?"
"Well at least my boxes are not filled with pornography."
Balthazar scoffs, "I wish they were filled with pornography. I swear you are some strange hybrid of the human species that is completely incapable of romance and sex."
"I am not incapable, I simply do not hold any interest in it." Castiel explains as they go into their room.
"Yeah, yeah, use all the fancy words you want, Cassie, I know you're incapable." Balthazar teases, "Now go grab the rest of your precious books."
"I will." Castiel says resolutely before heading out and going to his car. On his way back in he comes to a stop so he can shift his weight.
"Hey, need some help?" A man asks from behind Castiel. Planning to reject the offer kindly, he turns around, the air instantly leaving him as his books crash to the floor. Castiel stares at him in shock, a look mirrored in the other man. "C…Cas…?"
"Dean…"
Dean remains silent, staring at him. Neither move, speak, they are actually struggling for air as they feel their hearts sinking into their stomachs. This is the last thing Castiel expected, the last thing Dean expected, they had both erased the other one from their lives and made peace with it years ago. But now, now that they are together again, in the same place, memories and old feelings are flooding their minds. Castiel soon regains his composure and becomes torn between hugging Dean or punching him. He settles on walking away instead.
A/N:Soooooooooo this is happening. Sorry I'm not great with capturing the emotions...? They escape me. (It will get better I promise!) Also, I got the idea for Chuck and Becky(although she got ruled out in it) as parents from the Happy!Verse tumblr which is so fucking cute I cannot even.