You woke up with a jolt, panting, with your eyes wide. Your body was tense, covered in sweat and terribly hot. You still felt the ghost sensation of touches, kisses, bites shrouding all over your body; sensations your wild imagination had provided in your sleep.
It took you a little time to relocate yourself, to realize you weren't in a room that looked like a strange mix between the Shirasagi castle and the tents you had used during the campaign against Valla. To realize that you actually were alone in your own private chambers of the Nohrian castle, and not with the intimate company of the Hoshidan prince.
You would have sighed and dismissed the dream if it had been any other kind of dream. But you were horribly hard and your body begged for release. So you clenched your teeth and grabbed your own throat with one hand to muffle your sounds while you used the other to softly stroke yourself, continuing the dream where you had left it, and trying to convince yourself it wasn't your own hand, but one thinner, softer. One that not only knew the way of the sword and the arts of war, but also the delicacy of poetry about nature and seasons and the art of ceremonial tea.
You came incredibly fast, and you were incredibly ashamed of yourself. You were supposed to be a mature adult that would soon govern a country, not some teenager with a crush on the prettiest girl of the village. You were going to be a king. He was going to be a king. Kings of countries that had been at war for so long it would take generations to mend the wounds they had inflicted on each other. You both were to marry and have children that would continue the royal bloodline. You weren't even sure of how he would react if you ever told him about it. Your imagination only provided two scenarios: disgust or pity. You didn't know which was worse.
It was still early, but you knew you wouldn't fall asleep again, so you sighed and got closer to the water jar to clean yourself and prepare for the day.
You weren't entirely sure how it had started.
Corrin left Nohr, but didn't join Hoshido. Panicked rumours started to spread, saying they planned to make an army that would take over the world, only for them to fight both you and Ryoma until you would listen to them and let them tell you to go to the Bottomless Canyon, where they would explain everything. You had always found it hard to believe that Corrin would attack you, and the strange behaviour your father had started to show was the push you needed to accept Corrin's proposal and go to the Canyon, for the sake of your country.
A small Hoshidan detachment, lead by Ryoma, had been there as well, and both countries joined into a single army, fighting together for the same purpose of killing Anankos and saving their nations. It was not a joining without tensions, but knowing both Nohrian princesses and the youngest Hoshidan prince and princess had already been fighting together helped ease the potential distrust among them.
You were approached by Ryoma proposing a truce between both of your nations for the sake of your survival in Valla, and you accepted immediately. Fighting each other in such a situation would be nonsense, after all.
Once you arrived at the army you saw how your little sister had already become a great friend to the princess Sakura. It wasn't strange given how friendly Elise usually was, but it made apparent to you the respectful yet distant way you treated the Hoshidans. Having good intentions and joining for the same cause was a good start, but actually growing closer after so much pain was hard, and it would possibly take time they didn't have the luxury to take. You noticed a similar behaviour on the older Hoshidan prince and princess, so you were greatly surprised when Ryoma approached you two days later and asked you to train with him. Both of you were strong, for sure, but your fighting styles were so different it was hard to believe any of them would be able to learn something useful about combat in such little time. You couldn't help but voice your doubts, and you saw how the Hoshidan prince grew slightly uncomfortable.
"To tell the truth, it was Corrin's idea. They know you better than I, and they're sure we could be friends if we got to know each other." Ryoma's expression clearly showed his doubts about it, but he kept talking. "And, in any case, being less distant could help the stability of our army now that we are in Valla. I thought training would be the best place to start."
You couldn't help but admit Corrin was right, and nodded at the other prince's proposal. You both went to the training field, took some practice swords and lunged at each other. Despite your natural advantage by riding a horse in battle, Ryoma was much, much faster and more agile than you had expected. It soon became a contest to see who managed to hit the other better, faster. Ryoma moved with a grace that looked like he was dancing instead, and yet you learned quickly of how deadly those delicate steps would have been had he used the electricity of the Raijinto instead of a normal bronze blade. You didn't remember who won, since at the end, every Hoshidan and Nohrian cheered and congratulated both of you equally. It had been a harsh battle, and you could remember panting a little while you got down off your horse and patted its neck as a thanks for the effort in the battle. Ryoma approached you and offered you his hand with a small satisfied smile. You were sure you had the same smile on your face. You grabbed his hand and shook it. It was the first of many friendly spars.
Since you were the prince of Nohr, you had the obligation to go to every war meeting you ever planned while you were fighting in Valla, along with Corrin and Ryoma. Sometimes, Ryoma would approach you, or you would approach him, and ask each other about this or that detail, making sure you clearly understood the plan before explaining it to the rest of the army. Sometimes you talked to each other searching for advise, knowing well that a different point of view in war tactics could greatly benefit your strategic meetings.
It wasn't long until it seemed you had talked about war as much as either of you were able to stand, surrounded by battles in Valla at every corner, and Ryoma one day simply told you about a time he had gone to a forest close to the castle to catch cicadas and butterflies in the summer when he was a child. It was a memory too intimate to share with someone he wasn't that close to anyway, but every other topic they could think of (their families, their countries, Corrin, Azura, Garon) felt too delicate, too dangerous. It would be too easy to say the wrong thing and crush the trust they had managed to build over time. So you responded in kind, and told him about a time where you found a duckling with curious blue coloration and took it to the castle with you, to keep it as a pet. You didn't realize how strange it was that they would simply let you keep an animal in the castle, even if it was in the barnyard, until three months later it suddenly disappeared and you discovered the dinner had been a bird-like animal. You cried for three days straight. You kept telling each other stories about your childhood that only had to do with yourselves or your siblings, carefully filtering the ones that would include Corrin or their parents in one way or another.
It was strange to open up to each other like that, sharing your innermost memories instead of talking about more irrelevant issues. But fighting in a strange land against a strange army to depose a strange dragon king, it felt fitting.
After the defeat of Anankos, it was as if everything had come back to life. The castle was restored, the Vallites woke up from their trance and every ruin they could see turned back into a proper village. A few fearful servants entered the castle to investigate, and found you there. The news of the defeat of Anankos made them almost cry in relief, in happiness, and they left to spread the word. More servants quickly returned, and they insisted on preparing rooms for everyone in the army, as well as a proper meal, to thank them for freeing them of the King. A few of them recognized Azura, and greatly welcomed their former princess.
Thankfully, everyone seemed to realize how tired all of you were after the battle, and the celebrations didn't last long, so you could retire to the rooms they gave you and rest. But as the Crown Prince, it was your duty to make sure everyone and everything was fine, so you first went to check on your soldiers and then on your siblings. Even if you appeared calm and happy after your victory, the truth was that seeing the dragon devour your own father as if he was nothing had stricken you to your very core. You had hoped your father would return to his former self after the death of Anankos.
Leo was reading alone in his room. You exchanged a few words to make sure he would be fine, but he would rather be alone at the moment. You nodded and left his room. Leo was introverted, not stupid. If he truly needed of company, he would seek it.
Next you went to check on Elise. It was Camilla who opened the door and gave you a sweet smile before letting you enter the room. To your surprise, the youngest Hoshidan princess was there was well. Sakura immediately blushed when she saw you, and tried to hide her face with the mirror of her rod, intimidated by your presence. Elise looked and pouted a little at you when she saw how scared Sakura was of you. It seemed that you had interrupted some kind of tabletop game the three of them had been playing. You apologized for the interruption while Camillia chuckled next to you. She suggested both of you went outside to talk, and you bid farewell to both young princesses, while Elise tried to convince Sakura to resume their game.
"We will be fine." Your sister assured you. "I came to check on Elise a while ago, and found Sakura already here. They were both crying while trying to comfort each other. I managed to calm them down recently, and Sakura had just come back with a Hoshidan game and was teaching us to play. Elise is mostly irritated you made little Sakura nervous again after our efforts to soothe her."
Your expression became slightly guilty when you heard her words. "I see. My apologies, I merely wanted to make sure Elise was fine after today's events."
Camilla laughed. "I know, Xander. Don't worry about it. It looks like the Hoshidan princess is easy to startle. We will be fine."
You nodded at her, but then noticed her expression became serious. "What will you do, Xander?"
"I will go to sleep. We need to rest for our departure tomorrow to our world."
Your answer didn't seem to surprise her, but it clearly didn't please her either, because she kept staring at you with a blank expression. She grabbed one of your arms and softly pressed it. It looked like she wanted to tell you something, but that she knew you would simply argue back.
"Very well. But if you need something, feel free to come to my room, dear. Good night."
"Good night." You answered back, watching as she opened the door to Elise's room and got back inside.
You went to your room, but once you put away your armor and laid on your bed wearing only the clothes under the metal, you knew it would be impossible for you to fall asleep. The scene of your father's death replayed inside your head every time you close your eyes. You kept thinking of ways you could have saved him, but no matter what you thought of, none seemed possible in the slightest. You finally gave up, and got up. It looked like you wouldn't be able to sleep much that night. Perhaps you should take Camilla's offer and go see her, or perhaps exploring the castle would give you the distraction you needed.
A third option presented itself in front of you in the form of a knock on the door. You frowned, estranged, and grabbed Siegfried as a precaution while you approached it and opened it. Prince Ryoma stood in front of you, wearing a calm expression, a white porcelain vase with two small porcelain cups, and no armor.
"I hope I didn't disturb your sleep, Prince Xander." He started. "After everything that has happened today, I thought… perhaps you could use some company."
Ryoma raised slightly the drink so you could see it better, as if the alcoholic offering could be what you needed to make you change your mind. Despite having rejected Camilla's offer, you immediately accepted Ryoma's, nodding and stepping aside to let him enter. The Hoshidan prince smiled faintly when he knew he wouldn't be chased out, and approached the desk and put the drink and the cups on it while you closed the door. Since there was only one chair, you moved the table so you could sit on the bed while he took the chair in front of you. You saw how he filled your cup first and then his with an orange liquid. You took the cup with curiosity after you sat and examined it.
"Is this sake?" You asked. It didn't look like the transparent liquid you were expecting.
Ryoma looked at you as if he was surprised by your question. "Yes, of course." Then he seemed to realize something, and chuckled. "Oh."
"What?" You frowned a little. You had the feeling he was laughing at you.
He shook his head. "In Hoshidan, sake refers to alcoholic drinks in general and each has its own specific name, but perhaps you didn't know about that. This is umeshu, it's sweet, and doesn't have much alcohol. I thought perhaps it would be to your tastes."
"I see." You answered.
His explanation made you realize your ignorance. Nohr knew so little of Hoshido, beside the fact that they were enemies for life, that even something as simple as the word for alcohol had been turned into something different within the Nohrian borders, as if the Hoshidans were so simple they were unable to create different types of drinks. You felt slightly unsettled by that thought. How many of the few things you thought you knew about Hoshido were a lie? How many of them had been turned into a lie on purpose for the sake of inciting the nation into conquering its neighbour? You feared that answer.
By the way he looked at you, Ryoma seemed to notice the change in your mood. He looked like he wanted to ask you about it, but also as if he knew you didn't have a nice answer. You remembered he had come to you with a drink, and it was very likely he had done that with a specific purpose. You had a feeling you knew why he was there, so you thought that might as well talk about it and be done with it. His companionship may even help you feel better.
"I knew it had to happen someday but…" You trailed off while the scene of Anankos devouring your father flashed before of your eyes. "losing my father is harder than I thought it would be." You admitted to Ryoma. To yourself.
The Hoshidan Prince nodded, not even questioning why would you care about someone like Garon, someone who had gone mad due to the influence of the Silent Dragon and had tried to destroy both of their nations. Perhaps it was exactly because of that. Garon hadn't been on his right mind, but you had known him before Anankos started influencing him.
You stared at Ryoma and saw his tense expression, his hard eyes. You were going to say something, but he beat you to it.
"They weren't my parents." He said, with ferocity. As if he was trying to convince himself that shedding tears a second time for his dead parents was meaningless "Only puppets under the control of Anankos."
You remained silent, looking at him. He stared back with a hard expression, as if challenging you to change his mind. You simply closed your eyes and nodded, accepting his words the way he had accepted yours. His expression relaxed slightly, but his hands, turned into fists over the table, were shaking in anger. You didn't think twice before putting your hand above one of them, and he didn't hesitate to accept it, softly holding your hand.
It was calloused, like you expected, but also softer that you thought it would be.
Ryoma's turmoil seemed to slowly vanish, and you saw him relax. He took his cup with his free hand and took a sip of the drink. A part of your brain thought of doing the same, but you had trouble looking at something that wasn't his lips, wet from the alcohol.
But the Hoshidan prince's face quickly became serious again and stared at you. You noticed how he grabbed your hand tightly.
"I want to ask you something you may not like. But, if from now on we are going to work towards a future of peace, I want to understand… no, I need to understand your country. Know what each of us can do to help."
It was a reasonable stance, appropriate for the future king of the nation. You nodded, waiting his question.
"Why has Nohr tried to conquer us in the past?"
Your hand unconsciously grew tighter around his. Ryoma didn't flinch, and simply grabbed you tighter, waiting for you to answer. There were many ways you could explain, but you decided to give him the simplest, fastest version.
"Because Nohr has nothing. Nothing but iron and stone."
Ryoma stared at you surprised and confused. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. There is almost no fertile soil, and the little there is has trouble growing food due to the almost constant darkness and coldness of our land. A good yearly harvest means only half of the elders and sickened people will die in winter. It's gotten to a point where, in certain places, once you're so old you can't contribute to the fields or housework, you simply leave your house and go die in the forest. Because having to feed you may very well mean the starvation of the whole family. Most of our resources come from the places we've conquered, and the only reason Nestra remains neutral is thanks to the yearly tribute in food and materials they are forced to send us."
You stopped talking. You had never truly liked the ways of your people, but had always accepted it as a necessity for survival. It was saying it aloud that made you aware of the status of your nation. Nohr wasn't a country, it was a parasite, ready to spread and destroy everything around it for its own sake. Ryoma had a horrified expression, and you were sure he no longer saw you as someone worthy of respect, only another leech ready to jump at him at any second. You felt slightly sick.
"… Why did you never ask us for help?"
"Nohr is a proud, conquering nation. It doesn't beg, only fights, and takes." You sounded a lot more bitter that you thought you would.
Ryoma stared at you with a serious expression, but you found yourself unable to hold it, and looked instead at the cups, still filled with the orange liquid. You had never felt ashamed of your country, but at that moment, you were incapable of feeling anything else.
Ryoma must have felt your discomfort because you felt his hand tightening around yours in support.
"Hoshido has plenty of food. I'm sure we could send you some and help. It could be the first step towards the peace we desire."
You looked at him, surprised at his offer, but shook your head. "I cannot ask you to put your people in danger of starvation."
Ryoma laughed, but it wasn't a happy one. "We won't. Not when we have three harvests each year. There's plenty of food we can spare."
Your eyes widened when you heard him say that. Three harvests each year. Three. The sheer amount of food that had to be made you feel dizzy. You knew Hoshido was more fertile than Nohr, but never expected that the difference would be so great.
"I…" You didn't even know how to answer after that. It would be stupid to not accept such an offer when your country was slowly starving to death, but pride was a poison clinging in the hearts of most Nohrian elites. They would probably reject the help, and yet instigate the military even more in order to conquer such a fertile land. "It is extremely generous of you, Prince Ryoma, but I am unsure if my country would simply accept the present."
"Then, how about we make a commercial exchange? Truth be told, Hoshido has a strong lack of good metals."
"Really?" You replied, surprise. "I do not think the Hoshidan katanas are less dangerous than any other."
Ryoma smiled, appreciating the honest compliment. "That is thanks to our artisans, that managed to use metals of low quality and turned them into worthy weapons. But the smallest mistake in the production means it can no longer become a proper blade. It would not be an exaggeration to say that half of our katanas are made with Nohrian metal stolen from the fallen bodies in skirmishes along the border."
His voice was filled with the shame and discontent you saw reflected on his face. Perhaps they didn't conquer to get what they needed, but they killed and stole anyway. Even worse, they stole from the dead, as if they were some kind of barbarians. Nohr would conquer, but the civilians were not greatly disturbed beyond the tributes they had to send to the conquering country and having their militias disbanded.
But you still felt responsible for that as well. "Perhaps you would not have such a need for iron if we had never provoked you into this tense situation in the first place."
Ryoma chuckled. "Your words are too kind, Xander, but I'm afraid our need for metals is so great the skirmishes are almost a welcome change to get them. If the Nohrians hadn't started sending soldiers, and Nohrian brigards hadn't willing crossed it to loot and raid our villages, I cannot be sure we wouldn't have been the ones crossing the border in search for iron."
You tightened your hand around him in understanding, in support. "I see. Then, that commercial trade would certainly be welcomed." You sincerely smiled and your face relaxed for the first time in what seemed forever to you.
Ryoma smiled back. It was a sincere smile as well, one that relaxed his features and made his eyes shine in hope and happiness after such a long and exhausting day. He was beautiful, and you were glad you had managed to take a heavy burden off his shoulders. He had managed to do the same to you.
The Hoshidan prince took his cup of umeshu with his free hand and raised it. You did the same, and clinked your cup with his.
"For the start of a lasting peace between Hoshido and Nohr." Ryoma said, smiling. You said the same, smiling as well, and drank it.
The drink tasted sweet, as Ryoma had said, but it was nothing like you had tried before. It wasn't too strong either, and you liked it. You stopped glancing at your empty cup to look at Ryoma, only to find out Ryoma was staring at you while pressing his lips and trying to hold a smile. He put the cup down and started coughing suspiciously, as if he was trying to hide laughter. He was blushing as well.
"Ah… you… ahem! You are supposed sip it slowly." He explained.
You stared at your already empty cup and at Ryoma's cup, which still held most of the liquid. You also felt your face burning in embarrassment.
"Ah." You managed to express. You had drank like an idiot. "The cups were so small… I simply assumed…"
"It is alright. I should have explained, it is a Hoshidan drink, after all." Ryoma still looked like he was trying to hold his laughter, and the blush on his face seemed to intensify due to the effort. You found yourself blushing more as well, although you didn't know exactly why. At least it didn't feel like embarrassment.
Ryoma pulled his hand away from yours for the first time since you started talking, and served you another cup, explaining how you should hold it while you get a refill. You drank correctly that time, and with the tensions of the day already gone, you merely chat of customs of each other's countrie, no longer feeling like it was a topic that could greatly disturb either of you, not after all the time you had spent knowing each other in Valla.
Your hand felt slightly cold from that moment on, but hearing Ryoma's voice made the rest of the night worth it.
You didn't actually leave the next day, as you had planned. Valla needed a new king that would help them recover, and by Azura's request, Corrin became the next ruler. You and the rest of the army helped with the preparations. It was done fast and without much flourish; the Vallites needed help, not a waste of their resources; and you had to go back to your countries as well.
Once back at the Bottomless Canyon, the Nohrians and the Hoshidans, who had traveled together until then, slowly separated into their own groups. You and Ryoma bid farewell to each other formally as well, remembering the promise for a future of peace between the nations. You had a faint and strange ache in your chest when both of you started walking in opposite ways, but you dismissed it. The Hoshidans had proved to be great allies and good friends, but it wouldn't be the last time you would see any of them. You were satisfied with how everything had turned out.
Or so you thought, until the first night back at your castle, inside the safety of your room, you had the first dream about him. You still remembered the softness and warmth of his hand against yours, but in the dream, it wasn't relegated only to your own hand. Ryoma's hand explored your body as it pleased, and you did nothing to stop it. You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling need and panic in equal parts, and quickly got up to reach for the jar to clean yourself in the morning filled with cold water and threw it all over you. The sudden coldness made you breathe sharply through your teeth, but it also had the desired effect, and you managed to calm down. You stood next to the bed, panting, confused, while staring at the mess you had made, the puddle of water at your feet that was slowly growing with the drops that fell from your body.
It was absurd. Ryoma and you had become friends, sure. But that, that, was absurd. It simply made no sense. You grit your teeth and shook your head. It made no sense. And, therefore, it was nothing. You had simply been too long without physical contact, and your brain had decided to provide someone you had been close the last few months for a lack of a better alternative. The moment you returned to your routine, everything would go back to normal. You simply needed to regain the reins of your life, of your country, after such a long time at war, and everything would be fine again.
Except, it didn't.
His fic grabbed me by the throat and didn't let me live for a week until I finished writting it. I've never writen or even thought of writing a Fates fic before, but I guess my brain decided I Had To.
But it was really fun to write, and there will be a second chapter! So, see ya!