Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. I'm sure you can figure out who owns them. c: Unless you don't recognize it and I don't give credit for it… then I own it.

AN: Okay, everytime there are five words in a row italicized (I know it's spelled wrong) it means there's a change in time because I decided to tell this story backwards with how it ends already having happened by the time Bella starts telling the story... it'll make sense...hopefully.

Black Night:

We had spent the day in the meadow; Edward had promised me we would watch the sun rise and fall. And we had. Edward has spent the entire night with me, humming our song till I fell asleep. He had woken me minutes before the sun rose, when the sky was still dark but not yet the dark purple it would become in moments.

I suppose after a hundred years or so after sunsets and sunrises they weren't very spectacular to Edward anymore.

"If I get to share the sunrise with you, it will be beautiful," he replied when I asked him about it. But as the sun rose and the purples became yellows, blues and pinks, out of my peripheral vision I could see that Edward's attention was not on the stunning pastel colors melting in the sky but on my face.

Which must have been puffy and pale from lack of sleep.

Even after Edward came back to me it was still hard to understand why. I was grateful, certainly, but what did he see in this clumsy human.

"I see you, Isabella," we had been up in his room when we had this conversation, his house was finally quiet. It was nice to know that no one else would hear this exchange, "I see the beautiful person you are," he continued.

"But- but," I tried to form a complete thought under his dazzling gaze, "I just feel like I don't deserve you."

Edward thought for a moment, his hand still combing through my hair from neck to waist. And then, although his face stayed the same, I could see his eyes light up, "You don't believe you deserve me because," he chuckled, "you think I'm perfect?" Duh. I nodded, "Well, if I'm perfect that means I am always right and I say you deserve me," he pulled me onto his lap and held me close, "You deserve me and so much more."

I left the memories in the back of my mind and focused back on the dank coldness of the room. How had we gotten here?

The warmth from the sun as it rose was lovely, Edward's sparkle began slowly at first and then with the sun fully up the rays of sparkle came off of him like a diamond under perfect show lights. It made my skin duller than ever.

"What did you think the first time you saw yourself sparkle?"

"I don't know, so many things had changed in those few days; sparkling just wasn't that big of a deal. I woke up to find this stranger watching over me, an incredible thirst for blood, found out vampires were real and my mother was dead. And this was after three and half days of immense pain. And having the Spanish Influenza wasn't trouble-free," he stopped, his human memories harder to grasp, "The appetite, the eyes, the other changes, sparkling just wasn't that big of a deal," he smiled down at me, "I think it's just a big deal to you," he kissed my cheek and we leaned back against the rock we were sitting in front of.

"Well, it's not every day you find out your boyfriend sparkles," and it wasn't every day girls like me had incredibly good looking boyfriends like Edward.

Edward sighed, the sigh he always sighed when the fact that we were so different was made evident. I changed the topic before he could go off on his emotional diatribe of how there were people out there who were better for me. "Were you happy when you realized that you were a vampire, that you were going to live forever?"

"I don't think happy is the right word for it, the hunger, the pain, the exhaustion from dealing with the pain… those feelings really overweigh the more positive ones. It was what my mother wanted for me, at least according to Carlisle. I like to believe that my mother knew what Carlisle was in those last few moments of hers, I like to believe that she wanted this for me."

"Maybe she knew about me, maybe she knew that you were meant to be here for me."

"Oh, Bella, if I had died all those years ago, you would of found someone else."

"Yeah, and it probably would have been Jacob- and where would that of gotten me?" okay, so Jacob and I only became so close after Edward left me and I became extremely depressed, but who needed (or wanted) to bring that up?

"Have you always caused this much trouble?" Edward ran his hands through my hair, something he seemed to like doing.

"Only since I moved to Forks have I been a hazard to others," I smiled at him and raised my head for a kiss. My face was cold from the morning air and for once Edward's lips felt warm against mine.

Things weren't warm in this room. That day in the meadow had only been days ago, but it felt like forever. Edward and I were really different people. We had faced plenty of obstacles before, a modern day Romeo and Juliet. With out the dying for each other.

Yet.

We spent the entire day in the meadow; Edward had made and packed food for me. It was depressing how wonderful a cook he was, of course once I tasted the savory flavors of the chicken salad and white chocolate dipped strawberries I quickly recovered from my bout of depression.

But it was still unfair that Edward hadn't eaten or enjoyed food in so long and yet he could still cook better than I could. "Is there something I can do better than you?" I asked desperately.

"Of course," Edward seemed so sure of himself.

"Name one thing," I fired at him before eating more of the chicken salad. I had assumed it would take Edward time to come up with something I was better at then he was but he began his list promptly, ever the fast thinker.

We had been lying on the grass and Edward sat up and smiled over me, "You blush better than I do," I turned onto my back and rolled my eyes, hoping (and failing) that I didn't blush, "You trip better than I do," he pulled me onto his lap, Alice would be furious at the grass stains this caused my shorts. But, Edward didn't seem to mind the future wrath; he continued to stare into my eyes.

"You forgive people far easier than I ever can. When we got back from Italy you forgave Rosalie so quickly and she hated you before this. And just like that you accept her for the stubborn pig-headed vampire she can be.

"And I live with her, I know why she made those decisions. I can read her mind, Bella, every day I hear her guilt, I see it on her face and I can't forgive her. You don't give yourself enough credit for that."

I took a deep breath and dove in, "Edward, how long have you been on this earth?"

"Since 1901, Bella, you know that."

He handed me a slice of apple, maybe to shut up, but I continued, "And I've been here for a mere 18 years. I've grown up being told that life is too short to hold grudges," even if they were deserved, "But, you've been here for a hundred some odd years, you have forever to forgive and forget," except he wouldn't because of his perfect vampire memory.

"You forgave me and I nearly killed you," he murmured, almost as if he was thinking out loud and had not meant to say it.

I stood up, now outraged, I spilled the water everywhere making mud around my feet "Edward! First off, Rosalie nearly killed you me and Alice. I jumped off that cliff on my own accord no one forced me to. And it wasn't to kill myself!" Edward had stood up fluidly, "Besides, Edward, you are such a different story, I love you. The way I feel about you is like nothing I have ever felt before, or heard about or read about.

"When you left it broke my heart, but only because you already had a piece of it. Take the rest of it, it's yours. Forever," I felt only slightly pathetic with the uncontrollable tears coming down my face, "I love you, Edward. I could never hold a grudge against you. If you were to lose control and kill me right now I would still love you in heaven- or wherever I end up. I will always love you."

Edward stepped over the food and held me tight to his chest, "That wouldn't happen, Bella," he said against my hair, I continued to sob into his chest, I could feel his shirt slowly getting soaked but it seemed neither of us cared. "I love you, Isabella."

I was slumped on the floor, exhausted from the pleading with Edward. I loved him dearly and still do, but he could just be so stubborn sometimes. And it wasn't when he needed to be stubborn.

After the emotional break down Edward had taken me to a nearby pond to wash the mud of my feet. But things can never be simple with me. I stood in the lake's shore, letting the water lap over my feet. I had thought that Edward was behind me and the question had been nagging me for some time, "Edward, do you float in the water?"

I turned around quickly, thinking he was right behind me, but instead I tripped over my foot and face planted into the murky water. I sat up quickly and pushed my sodden hair out of my face and choked on the dirty lake water.

I was out of the water in an instant, lying on the pebble beach, "Are you okay, Bella?" Edward looked quite ready to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on me, and I was certainly willing to let him, but I didn't need him to worry anymore than he already did.

I spit out a little more water and took in a ragged breath, "I'm fine. Just a little wet."

Edward smiled his crooked smile, "Silly Bella," I narrowed my eyes and pouted just a bit. Of course Edward would find a way to make fun of the situation, "If you had wanted to go swimming you should have said something; Alice would of brought you a swimsuit," he bent down and kissed my already pursed lips.

"I didn't want to go swimming, I wanted to ask you a question!"

"Which was?"

I looked away from him, blushing, now with Edward in front of me the question Edward in front of me the question seemed absurd, "I wanted to know if you would float in water. Because well, dead things float and I know it's morbid, but I really just wanted to know-"

"Do you think Carlisle would have been able to swim across the Channel if we floated?" he brushed even more hair out of my face.

"Well maybe. It would explain why it was so easy for him."

Edward stood up, pulling me with him, "We don't float, it sort of goes with the stone skin theory; we sink."

"Sink?" I was astonished.

"Yes, Bella, sink. To lack buoyancy."

I pointlessly slapped him arm, "I know what sink mean, it's just- I don't know. You're a vampire, you've got these super powers and good looks," I looked up at him pointedly, "You seem to have everything going for you."

"I don't, Bella. I can never go to a public beach with you and laze under the warm sun. I have to watch every move I make around you. I can never have children," he was whispering softly now right next to my ear, "I can never make love to you and feel your warm body around me and see your sweet blush cover you."

My entire body tingled in his embrace, "That and swimming is really exhausting," he said pulling away from me.

I looked up at him, my face still red from his earlier comment, "You're such a tease."

"It's true, Bella, I do sink in water." I rolled my eyes, trying too hard to ignore his crooked grin, "What about you?"

"I'm human, Edward, remember? Humans float."

He slowly began pulling me back towards the shoreline, "Yes, but can you swim?"

"Oh, you think my mother wants her daughter, the klutziest girl in the world, near a body of water, swim instructor or not?" besides, being in front of people in just my swimsuit was not my ideal way to make my next klutzy move. What's more, I had always spent most of my summers in conveniently cool Forks; heat had never been a problem here. And even back home, Mom was firm believer in AC.

Edward's eyes lit up, "Let me teach you than!"

"Edward, I don't even have a swimsuit," not that I wanted to be in one in front of him, "maybe another time."

"Bella! You're already wet and you'll just make excuses later," it was terrifying how right he was.

"Fine, but when you're all tired out at the end of the day and have to leave me to go hunting don't come crying to me."

"I won't," he smiled an eerily evil smile, "Anyway, you'll be the one missing out."

Edward pulled me into the water, further than I had ever gone before. The water was cold, I didn't even want to think about what was swimming around in it with us. Could sharks eat vampires?

Both of us reeked of lake water now, but I was sure even that stench couldn't over power my blood, dried or not. I knew that Edward was breaking down and he would have to give in soon. Him giving in was the only hope of making it out alive, even if it was only one of us.

"Are you okay?" I asked after we had gotten out of the water.

"I told you, swimming is the one thing that really wears me out."

We walked slowly back to the meadow, "Thanks for teaching me how to swim."

He put his arm around me and pulled me close, "I just want to keep you safe."

"That won't be a problem, as long as I'm with you," I turned towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist, Edward pulled me closer wrapping his arms around my shoulders, I pressed my face against his cold, unbeating heart. The heart that loved me to no end.

"And I'll be here as long as you want me to be here."

"Which will be forever," I whispered softly.

He bent down and kissed me gently, "Forever and ever," and I was lost in his embrace.

A gust of wind blew by causing me to shiver.

A cold hard voice interrupted the moment, "Isn't that sweet."