2am
It's 2am and I sit at my computer. Scrolling through endless pages of your life. From now to way back when. I want it to be the same again.
It's 2am and my fingers hurt from typing out the words. Words left unsaid. The same words running through my head, and no matter how I try, I can't shake them. They get erased in a breath.
It's 2am and the bed is cold. I try to wrap myself up in the blankets. But nothing can bring me warmth like your body in the night. The cold burns my skin.
It's 2am and the music blares. I keep my headphones on so they are not disturbed. The music bringing back memories of times gone by. The memories that haunt me late into the morning.
It's 2am and I can't sleep. The tendrils of guilt and loneliness crawling up my spine as I lie. The pain of losing you fresh in my heart. I can't shake the feeling of regret.
It's 2am and you're not here.
It's 7am and I awake. Your obvious absence rousing me to consciousness. The faint morning light harsh as it spreads through the room. The quiet discussion in the other room echoing around the apartment. The thought of you being somewhere else. I bury my head to forget.
It's 7am and he's making bacon. The smell drifting to me and dragging me from my bed. The taste unnatural on my tongue. Flashes of distant mornings floating in my head. I chew to forget.
It's 7am and they're laughing. Talking about school and their boyfriends. Talking about their teachers and their friends. Are you still my friend? I leave the room to forget.
It's 7am and I'm staring at my drawers. Trying to find some decent clothes to wear. The images of our uniforms as we strut down the hallway remain. I strip to forget.
It's 7am and you're not here.
It's 9am and I'm at class. The teacher talking about stuff I have no actual interest in. My gaze drifts to the seat on my right. The girl sitting there a stark contrast to you. I wrap my pinky around my pen instead.
It's 9am and nothing makes sense. The sentences aren't words. The words aren't letters. Everything is squiggles and I can't clear my head.
It's 9am and I'm so tired. Effected by not sleeping, I can't work. I stare blankly around the room. I see people with their friends, smiling. I don't remember the last time I saw you smile. I stare straight ahead.
It's 9am and I hate this. I feel numb and detached from the world around me. I feel like no one cares. I don't even care. My body feels like lead.
It's 9am and you're not here.
It's 4pm and I return home. The shouts of the couple next door shaking the walls. Their bitter arguments and declarations of hatred melt into that of love. I love you.
It's 4pm and they're still not home. I wander around the empty apartment to try and find something to do. The flowers on the table a reminder that someone loves them. I love you.
It's 4pm and I'm listening to my iPod. Listening to songs of heartbreak and rejection. And then our song comes on and I'm a mess on the floor. It's a song of love and happiness. I love you.
It's 4pm and you're still not here.
It's 2am and I hold my phone. Looking at images of you and I. My eyes aching from staring at the bright screen. I just want to hear your voice. I want to hear you laugh. I want to see you smile.
It's 2am and I refuse to sleep. My heart longing for you. Does yours long for me too?
It's 2am and it's always the same. I do my best to avoid sleep. Thinking that the more I think about you, the more chance I will see you. It doesn't work. I stay here and you stay there.
It's 2am and I wish you were here.