A/N: Hey, this is my first Lost fic. I dunno if songfics are against the ToS or not, so if they are, could you guys tell me so I can delete this? Thanks. Also this is set after 'The Other Woman', season 4 and pre-finale.
We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.
O o O
Juliet looked up as she heard footsteps on the white sand of the beach. She squinted, blocked the sun from her eyes, and finally smiled in recognition as Jack- wonderful, handsome, brave Jack- walked towards her with big grin on his face. Her answering smile was just as big, and she'd like to think just as beautiful. As he neared her she propped herself up onto her elbows from a sleeping position and called out, "Hey, stranger. Haven't seen you in a while."
He sat down beside her, shrugged in that amazingly nonchalant way of his and said "I've been pretty busy." He reached up with his hand to push back a stray lock of blond hair from her forehead. "I've missed you." He could tell he meant it, by the way his eyebrows scrunched together and his eyes narrowed slightly. Did Kate notice these things about him? Probably not. She was too busy jumping from man to man, Southern conman to successful surgeon, Sawyer to Jack. It pissed Juliet off that Kate could screw and make out with either one, and then run to the others arms and be forgiven.
"I've been to see Daniel and Charlotte about the transmission," Jack continued, unaware about Juliet's dark thoughts. "They say we should be outta here by tomorrow."
She forced a smile. "Great." Sometimes, she had to remind herself that she had a sister, a nephew, a life, outside of this island. As much as she was dying to get home, she couldn't help thinking, Will we see each other when (if) we leave? Will Kate get serious about him, leaving Sawyer for the final time? What will happen to us? A part of her whispered, Nothing. You'll fade away from his heart, barely leaving a shadow, and who knows? The shadow might be, "The crazy blond fertility specialist who stalked me even though I was clearly into a known fugitive." It would be a funny story to tell Jack and Kate's future kids, she thought bitterly.
"Well, I gotta go." Jack got up onto his knees and kissed Juliet on the cheek. "See you." Jack got up and walked back towards the camp, looking back to wave once he reached the tent that held Charlotte and Daniel. Juliet managed to gather up enough semblance of normality to give a casual wave back. But her head was reeling. Her hand reached up to her cheek, and touched the place where Jack's lips had met her skin. Yep, it had been real. Homigod, the twelve-year-old within her giggled, but was soon sobered up when the real Juliet saw Kate walk out of the tent and give Jack an over-the-top hug. Jack didn't pull away.
Her heart pounding, Juliet closed her eyes, and forced herself to think of happy thoughts, thoughts that had nothing to do with the Austen bitch and being stuck on the beach and having no one to talk to but Jack, and he was never around. Memories flooded back to her. The first time she'd spoke to him, in the underwater hatch. Him saving her from death and the council. His hands pressing the eucalyptus leaves to her raw and bloody lower back, and the kiss. The wonderfully sweet kiss she'd given him before she'd left with Sawyer to save Jin, Sayid and Bernard. And then when she'd told him... By the Tempest. Not that he'd done anything really, he'd just kissed her back and proceeded to fawn over Kate. No, not that memory. Happy memories, she thought, before she became immersed in the past.
O o O
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;
O o O
The first memory was so cliché it almost hurt. The first meeting- well, the first meeting that didn't involve an old television monitor and being watched like a caged animal. The first time Juliet had spoken to Jack, the first time she had heard his voice, the first time he had looked at her... kind of. It had been a two-way mirror so... yeah. But she could feel the power and intensity of the man's gaze even if he hadn't realized that he was talking to a woman that would soon fall in love with him.
"Jack, I'm going to bring you some food. I need you to sit with your back against the wall. Then, I'm going to walk through the door and set the plate on the table. During this, you will have to remain seated. Can you do this?" Juliet asked him. Jack seemed to be thinking, and then finally threw his hands up into the air. "Fine," he muttered sarcastically, and walked to the wall where he slumped against it, his head on his knees.
She should have known better than to underestimate him.
The first thing he did was to launch himself across the room with the speed and ferocity of a caged beast with freedom that close. He caught hold of her and pressed something sharp (she didn't really get the chance to see what it was) against her neck. His strength and the suddenness of the attack made her freeze; by the time she started struggling, it was too late. He had pulled her gun out of her pocket and pressed it against her head. "I want you to let me out of here," Jack growled as he pushed her down a hallway and to a door that was sealed and locked. "OPEN IT!" Jack yelled, with a crazy glint in his eyes. His gun pressed harder into her head and she felt herself beginning to panic. "I can't open it. We'll all die." she explained in a shaky voice.
Jack curled his lips in rage. "Yeah, I'm sure." he snarled sarcastically. Then he whipped around and pointed the gun at- well, what do you know. Ben walked down the hallway, trying to reason with Jack, pleading, please, no, we'll die, step away from the door please, and Jack screaming in anger. Juliet was aware of one thing- whether she opened the hatch or not, she was never going to see her sisters baby. Pure fury gave Juliet strength to break Jack's grasp while he was distracted and-- Open. The. Hatch.
"NO!" Ben shouted as hundreds of gallons of water rushed into the room, sweeping both Jack and Ben off their feet and pushing them away. But Juliet was ready, and as she kept a firm grip on the door handle. Straining, pushing, and grunting with effort, Juliet managed to push the door back into its frame. It locked with a reassuring click, and Juliet sank to the ground in relief, even though it caused water to soak up to her chest. On the other side of the hall, Jack was standing up, coughing and vomiting water. Juliet heaved herself to her feet and walked over to him. He looked up at her. "This whole facility is under water?"
She answered by hitting him on the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.
As he fell to the floor, Juliet reached down to prop him upright so he wouldn't drown. Ben walked over to her, cleaning his glasses and sopping wet. He smirked enigmatically (she hated it when he did that) and remarked sarcastically, "You have your work cut out for you. He'll be hard to convince to do the surgery."
Juliet turned around to glare at Ben. "I told you, I can do this."
Ben smiled at her in an incredibly patronizing way. "I'm sure you can. Just don't take it too far..." he trailed off suggestively. He didn't need to finish: Like you did with Goodwin. It's your fault that he's dead, killed by the survivors of Oceanic 815. His blood is on you hands. Juliet ignored him, and pressed to button that opened the vents to drain the water out. When the place was relatively dry, she proceeded to drag Jack back to the room with the two way mirror. As Juliet laid him down on the table, and stared at his face, so vulnerable in sleep, she couldn't help but think, This is going to be fun...
O o O
Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'
O o O
"They're gonna kill Sawyer!"
Kate's sobbing, muddy face obviously filled Jack with more emotion then Juliet ever could, she noted wryly. Jesus, Austen looks terrible. How have they been treating them? The answer was pretty obvious; not well at all. Juliet swore quietly. Danny was going to screw everything up because of his stupid little testosterone fueled rivalry with James. Juliet needed both of them alive if she was ever going to get Jack to do the surgery – and mess it up as well. Juliet's angry thoughts were startled by the look on Jack's face. Pain was obvious, pain at Kate's obvious infatuation with James, pain at the sight of the woman he loved in so much pain, pain at his realization that to save her he either had to kill Ben or save Ben – two things he loathed to do.
And love. Of course there was love on his wise, kind face, love for the brunette standing in front of him. Not for the blond, hiding in the shadows and listening to this conversation. Never for her. Not since Goodwin. She hadn't been loved since Goodwin, and it killed her to think that it was that close to her, right within reach. She wanted it, wanted to be loved by Jack so badly it physically hurt. She let out a soft moan and was mortified when both Jack and Kate turned to look at her. "Time's up," she said softly, surprised by the tears in her eyes.
After she left Kate in the cage, locked up Jack's building, she walked back to her house. She picked up a pot of flowers that was knocked over, probably by Alex with her slingshot (stupid kid). She walked into her living room and past the piles of papers and straight to her kitchen (I really have to clean those up).
She poured herself a glass of cheap red wine. She took slow sips, trying to savor it and not gag (maybe Ben will get me some new stuff) She brushed her teeth. She climbed into bed.
And then Juliet Burke collapsed into a fit of sobs.
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
O o O
"You should do the surgery, Jack. Ben is a good, intelligent man, not the villain you think him to be. I would, we would, greatly appreciate it if you could save Ben's life. Jack, I know this is hard for you, I know you think you're betraying your people, but you're not. You're helping save the life of a great man. Please, Jack? Please?" Juliet dared to reach across the television set and place her hand on top of his. Jack was staring at her with a mixture of horror and wonder. She knew what he was seeing on the television screen; instructions from her on how they could kill Benjamin Linus.
You could make it look like an accident. This is a very tricky procedure.
Juliet could see the indecision in his eyes, a hate for Ben warring with an instinct to save lives on the operating table, not end them. Conflict, calculation of whether this was (another) trick from Ben -- whether she would betray him as soon as she could. Calculation of whether this was the only way to get off the island and back home, to family and friends and civilization and not having to forage for food and sleep with a gun under your pillow, lest the Others come and decide to kidnap another innocent girl for their experiments.
No one would blame you. You would still be set free.
It hurt, it hurt, that he didn't trust her even after everything she'd done for him, everything she'd sacrificed. Juliet and Ben were the reason Jack wasn't abandoned on the island, and it was Juliet that pulled all that she could to keep Kate and James alive. Juliet did everything she could to help him, and he still didn't trust her. She still had to put up with the Others making fun of 'Juliet and her pet doctor', and Harper had had the nerve to ask her if she'd slept with him yet. Of course, she'd responded appropriately.
Harper still had the black eye.
Trust me. I haven't been trusted in so long. I'm just as imprisoned as you are, but a lot more subtly. Please, Jack. Please. Jack looked up at her sharply, and Juliet held her breath. Yes to the surgery, yes to the assassination, yes to taking her out of this fucking, god forsaken island...?
"No," Jack replied curtly. "And turn the TV off."
O o O
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'
O o O
"I think you should let Kate and James go," Juliet whispered softly, her hand on Ben's. "Jack is serious. He's going to let you die if you don't." Ben just stared at her. "Please, Ben." Ben looked at her, in that way that made her feel like he could read her mind and see into her soul. "They say you asked him to do this." he whispered sadly.
Juliet didn't deny it. She just stared at him, begging him with her eyes. Oh please oh please just let them go Jack is going to die for them Danny and Harper and Tom will kill him if he lets you die please I can't lose another one please Ben oh please have a heart you stupid bastard please please please. "You love him," Ben accused quietly.
"No, I don't." Juliet said immediately, but at that precise moment she knew she did, because Juliet knew what a lie tasted like. And she also knew what Ben would do now. You're mine. The words Ben had said all those months ago beside Goodwin's rotting corpse haunted her for weeks, and still did. Most nights she woke up from nightmares full of Ben's face and smile and being lost on this island forever, until she just faded into nothing, only distinguishable by being Ben's 'possession'. Ben didn't love her, Juliet knew, he was only obsessed with her. He wasn't capable of loving. Only Alex was the exception.
"I will make you a deal," Ben whispered. "If you convince Jack to fix me, I will let both of you go." At first Juliet's heart soared. Home. To Miami. To Rachel and Julian and her life and friends... but then it crashed. How the hell was she supposed to convince Jack to do the surgery? As if he read her mind, Ben said, "You are going to convince him by letting Kate and Sawyer go."
"Where are they?" Juliet asked, still confused as to why Ben was being so... reasonable. Ben shot her a look. "Where do you think? My daughter helped them escape, so they've obviously gone to rescue Karl. Then, they'll have gone to get the boat Alexandra thinks I don't know about, so at the South Beach. You have to stop Danny, anyway you can. And Juliet," Ben whispered, "bring a gun."
Jack looked up as Juliet burst into the room he was sitting in. "Give me a walkie-talkie." she demanded, holding her hand out. Juliet needed to go fast."Why?" Jack asked suspiciously.
"Because I'm going to save your friends if you stitch up Ben. Once I radio over to you and Kate tells you-" Juliet was interrupted. "Me and Kate already have a plan. Just give to radio to her when you've got there and got them out of here." Jack said, and started to push her out the door. "Go. Save them." Jack started down the stairs towards the operating room as Juliet ran to save her secret love's preferred. (And said preferred's man toy.)
As Juliet ran through the dense jungle to the South Beach, she wished that Jack felt the same compassion for her. The look of hope and love that shone from his eyes whenever Kate was mentioned practically made Juliet heave. Juliet wanted him. Juliet wanted to be with him. Juliet loved him, and wished there was some way they could be together. But she was an Other, and it wasn't likely to happen.
O o O
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
O o O
"DANNY!" Juliet screamed. The older man turned away from James, who was on his knees on the sand, glaring up at him, and saw Juliet standing at the edge of the trees with a gun in her hands. Juliet shot him without hesitating, without letting her thoughts wander. If Kate died, the Jack... No. No way would she even finish that thought. That was Ben's field of expertise. Danny crumpled to the ground, a crimson stain spreading through the light beige of his T-shirt and an expression of surprise for Juliet and hate for James still clear on his face.
James, Kate and Alex, who was supporting a lifeless Karl, stared at her in utter shock. Their mouths practically grazed the floor, and it was quite obvious they had no idea that the cute blond fertility specialist could shoot someone in cold blood. "Go," she told them harshly. "now. Quickly! I bought you some time, but not much." That did the trick. James and Alex lifted Karl into the boat, then Kate began pushing. James joined her and Alex started to jump in.
"No," said Juliet, full of sympathy for the young girl. "You can't go, Alex. You know your father would never let Karl leave if you went with him." Alex, looking like she was about to cry, hopped out of the boat and kissed her boyfriend. The two started talking in hushed tones, but Juliet stopped listening once Kate walked up to her. "Thanks," Austen smiled at Juliet. The brunette's eyes were still cautious, but for the first time Juliet wondered if Kate really was such a terrible person. Besides the murder of her stepfather, of course.
"You risked your life," Kate continued. Then her face fell. "But I have to go back for Jack." Kate looked incredibly guilty and worried, and Juliet couldn't help the anger that boiled inside of her. "Jack will be fine." Juliet snapped. "Now go." To her immense relief, James and Kate pushed the boat into the water. As they began paddling to the other island, Kate turned around and waved. "Thank you!" she yelled.
I didn't do it for you, Juliet thought pettily, then felt slightly guilty. She tucked her gun into her pants, and turned to stare at Alex. The young woman's face was streaked with tears, and for the first time Juliet realized that Alex really loved Karl. It was much more then a crush, someone who takes you to movies and you make out with in the back seat of your fathers car. Again, Juliet felt a strong rush of pity towards Ben's daughter. She also, had had to say good bye way too many times. To Edmund, to Goodwin... "We'd better go back." Juliet shook herself from her thoughts and nodded in agreement with Alex. Then the two started the long trek pack to their own personal purgatories.
O o O
Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
O o O
"Did Juliet ask you to purposely harm Ben during the surgery?" The Warden's ice-blue eyes pierced into Jack's warm brown ones, and Juliet was overcome by fear. No one lies to the Warden. He's going to rat you out, he doesn't care, he just wants off the Island. The Warden was not scared of using death as a punishment. Though she rarely came to the camp, every time she did, it was like the entire organization held their breaths until she left. That was the kind of woman she was. Juliet was going to be on trial, and she would be sentenced to death. That was the consequences of killing and trying to kill one of your own. Juliet braced herself for the words that would spell her doom, but was beyond shocked when they didn't come.
"No," Jack sneered. The flicker in his eyes betrayed how deadly serious he was taking the Warden. "I made that up. You know, to try and divide you up. I figured it was my best chance." He shrugged with amazing casualness and slumped slightly in his chair. Juliet didn't trust herself to look at him, in case she betrayed something with her eyes. Both prisoners waited a long moment while the Warden scrutinized Jack carefully. Finally she stood up and leaned towards him. "Why are you lying for her, Jack?" she asked softly.
Jack pressed his mouth together and glared at her. "I'd like to go back to my cage, please." At once, three guards surrounded him and handcuffed him so he couldn't run. They exited the room, and Juliet was lead to the cell they had kept Jack when he first arrived. Her head was still reeling with shock and surprise that Jack had risked everything to lie for her, in an attempt to save her. It was amazing. It was weird. Jack didn't love her, she knew that. She wasn't an idiot. But still... if he tried to save her, that meant something, right? Juliet heard the sound of the door to the cell locking, and lay down on the hard table in an attempt to sleep.
Juliet screamed in pain as they pressed the white hot iron onto her lower back. Pain coursed through her spine and she shrieked in agony and disgust for the sound of the flesh on her back sizzling. Juliet wanted to run and get away from the people doing this to her, but she was cuffed, and forced to stare into the eyes of her people. Harper, who could barely disguise the smugness and malice radiating out of her hazel gaze. Tom, who looked sick and full of pity for Juliet warring with self-righteous anger about Danny's death. Various Others, looking a mix of all three.
Juliet was wracked with a burning sensation, feeling like she was being grilled alive. The star-shaped iron was only pressed to her waist, but it felt as if flames were licking up her entire body. She wriggled around, placating the desire to move and get away, but the thing that truly kept her from going mad was Jack's face, frozen in a picture in her eyes. I'm going to play a game, Juliet thought deliriously, pretend that Jack will love me if I endure this in silence. The blonde's eyes rolled up into her head she bit her tongue until it bled to keep herself from crying out. Juliet was proud, and she didn't want to lose this game. So, she didn't scream. Not when they pressed it harder to see if she was still conscious. Not when they lifted the iron off of her, when the cool air actually stung. Juliet had not screamed, and now, as she spiraled down into unconscious, she smiled softly and whispered, "I win..."
O o O
I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
O o O
"I hope you're not you're not dragging me all the way back their for him," Juliet snapped as Kate started to drag her through the jungle. Juliet already regretted following through with Ben's plan to handcuff herself to the Austen bitch and pretend that it was because 'Ben has a thing for mind games.' Yeah, right. He liked any form of girl on girl action even more. Anyway, Kate was not a good companion, mostly because she was constantly obsessed with getting Jack back to their stupid camp. I mean, Juliet thought irritatedly, I can't get him out of my head either, but at least I'm not going public about it.
"Excuse me?" Kate turned around, giving her a surprised glare.
"I hope you're not going back for Jack," Juliet explained, not quite patiently. "Because I was standing right there, when he told you not to come back. So now that you've ruined his chance to get off the island-"
It was dark, and Juliet didn't see Kate's fist coming, She felt a mixture of pain and surprise when she felt Austen's fist connect with her nose, making a disgusting crunching noise, and then she was on the ground, and Kate was punching her again and again and- Suddenly, she stopped and Juliet took the advantage to haul herself up and toss Kate over her shoulders, using those handcuffs. Kate pressed her knees into Juliet's back as she quickly recovered from the hit and pinned the blond on her belly to the ground. Juliet slumped in defeat and thought with a chuckle, She's been hauling rocks and trekking through the jungle for the last three months while you've been studying pregnant women and reading Stephen King. Of course she's stronger than you.
"Are you done?" Kate yelled angrily, which Juliet found very unfair since Kate had, in fact, started the fight. Hoping that Austen wasn't too dimwitted to understand the gesture, Juliet sighed and relaxed her position. "I said, ARE YOU DONE?" Kate screamed, twisting her arm terribly out of proportion. Juliet wailed in agony as she felt her shoulder bone dislocate and thought, You bitch. I should have killed you when I had the chance. No, but Jack wouldn't like that, would he? Still sobbing slightly from the pain, Juliet vowed, like when she was branded, to endure this very different form of punishment in silence, also.
O o O
And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"
O o O
"What are we supposed to do with her?" Sayid's voice pulled Juliet out of her reverie, one that featured Jack pulling her into his arms when she came back, whispering over and over, "I love you. You, not Kate. Don't ever leave me again. Oh, Juliet, I love you so much." Unfortunately, all she had received was a friendly smile and a pat on the back. Not that she hadn't enjoyed that smile, but... still. Now, that fucking Iraqi just had interrupt her thoughts with a very vital question; Where the hell was she supposed to go, now that Ben and the Others had 'abandoned' her? Yes, where indeed. Were they going to leave her out here to slowly starve to death? Or would they ask her to come with them?
"She can't come with us," As usual, it was Kate that was all for everything that Juliet didn't want. "We can't trust her. She's an Other." Sayid nodded slowly, agreeing with her. Juliet turned to Jack who was staring out at the jungle, obviously not paying any attention to what was going on. Juliet's hopes crashed and burned. Ben was wrong. Juliet was wrong. Jack didn't care for her enough to invite them into the heart of their society. Juliet held her breath, waiting for the words that would spell her exile...
O o O
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet. you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
O o O
"No."
Jack's voice froze Juliet's blood. It wasn't Kate or Sayid that wanted her out. It was Jack. It was Jack that didn't want her near him, Jack that couldn't stand her. Everything she'd thought was there, everything she'd thought she'd read in his face, his voice disappeared with that little word. Juliet sharply drew a breath, and tried to keep her face impassive, but she didn't fail to notice Kate shooting her a sharp glance. Juliet didn't care what Kate thought, though. She could go fuck herself.
"No, she'd coming with us." Jack swung around to face the blond Other and clapped his beautiful brown eyes onto her ice cold blue ones. "I trust her. She saved my life."
"Jack, you have got to be-" Kate's whiny voice was cut off by Jack again.
"Kate?" He said, looking at her. "Do you trust me?"
"...Yes, but-"
"She's coming with us, Kate." Jack turned to Juliet. "You ready?"
Juliet's eyes were practically blinded by tears, but she could still see something pouring out of Jack: Love. She had been wrong, all along, but it wasn't about what she'd though. Jack loved her. He really, truly loved her. Not Kate. He had loved Kate, but it was over now. Kate had Sawyer, Juliet had Jack, and they would live happily ever after, she knew it. She had conveniently forgotten that she was, in fact, there to betray the survivors, but right now it didn't matter because she loved Jack and Jack loved her. And all was right in her heart at that precise moment, her heart that had been squabbled over and betrayed and broken and stabbed again and again, to many times to count. She was going to be okay, she knew it from the moment Jack whispered "Let's go," in her ear and took her by the hand. She knew it. Juliet Burke knew it, with all her heart, that she had finally found where she belonged.
O o O
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you
A/N: Argh. It killed me to constantly be writing about how amazing Jack is. -hates Jack, loves Sawyer-. Oh, and I got a little carried away with the Kate bashing. -cackles- Sorry. -waits to be killed by Jaters- Reviews are win.