Just think of this as a Youtube Poop and your reading experience will be enhanced.

Don't know what a Youtube Poop is? Look it up. On Youtube. IN AMERICA.

© Satoshi Tajiri, T.V. Tokyo, The Pokémon Company...and stuff.

[Crack Lectures][Prologue]-Neglected main character in a poorly sealed box approaching.

Ah, we've been expecting this one for a while.

Naive satellite character. Very intelligent; almost annoyingly so. Could probably speak in full sentences at age two, the bastard.

Ridiculously unlucky. Easily influenced, very sarcastic and has a mouth a pirate captain would be proud of.

Experienced super hacker.

Is delusional; thinks he's the only child on the planet with a working brain.

Age 9.999999.

Probably has an assumed crush on his sister.

Also has an assumed crush on the main character.

Can down enough food to feed the whole of Ethiopia in one sitting and is still oh-so scrawny.

Has a fetish for Psychic Pokémon and robot loli maids.

Reports say that he has a twin in the Sinnoh region that stumbled into the prototype of an aging machine and is now a hormonally distressed 13-year-old skirt chaser.

...

We're going to have to get said twin in here sometime. He seems owsum ;D

Max opened his eyes, only to see nothing but dark brown all around him. He was still somewhat dizzy and his limbs felt like boulders, but he knew he was trapped in a limited square-shaped space.

But you know, most of us would just call it a box.

There were small air holes; large enough to be able to breathe but small enough to go undetected by the slightly brain dead post office workers.

Max could feel the box moving, probably on a conveyor belt. He had somehow survived a week and a half of being shipped from Hoenn to Kanto with no food or drinks and he seemed to be sane; he couldn't really tell after being stuffed in a box for 12 days without human interaction.

After what seemed like hours of moving on that conveyor belt, everything screeched to a halt.

"Oh, the new victim's here."

"Victim?!"

"Oh calm down, Tracey. You really should learn to appreciate Ming's sense of humor."

"But professor...I don't think--"

"Zip it, fatty. See, this is why you don't exist."

A pocket knife suddenly broke through the box. Max had to move his right arm to prevent it from being sliced. In a swift motion, the top of the box had been opened, and seizing the opportunity Max immediately stood up.

He wasn't expecting what he saw next.

Professor Oak, his grandson Gary, Tracey (who doesn't exist so he will be replaced by MISSINGNO's sprite), and some weird little girl he had never seen before.

"..."

Silence.

"..."

"..."

More silence.

"............."

"...Why the hell was I in a fucking box?!" Max finally snapped.

"Pirate mouth; check," said the girl in a monotone voice, checking something off in a clipboard she hadn't been holding before. "Step into my office, robot loli maid boy."

Just as soon as the thin thread that was Max's sanity snapped, his eyes were glimmering and he was floating around with the aid of microscopic angel wings he had metamorphosed on his head when he heard what he was being told.

"I get to be an intern?" Max cooed, floating around like a super deformed 5-year-old in a crack anime; really dragging out the 'ern' part.

"An unpaid one, but you'll be sticking around for a while," Professor Oak clarified. "Besides Tracey and Ming Chao here, I am short on hands."

"But professor, what about the paid lab aides you had working for you before?" Tracey asked. Not that he existed.

"Ah, they..." Professor Oak froze up. "T-They..." The truth was, they kind of just vanished during the transition from anime canon to fanfic. Of course, the professor didn't know how to word this in a way that wouldn't send the fourth wall crumbling. "STFU TRACEY YOU DON'T EXIST"

"WUUUTT ;__;"

Ming Chao then sort of dragged her heels to where Oak was, and tugged on his lab jacket. "It's okay if you break the fourth wall, professor," she said in a sweet yet eerily monotone voice. "We'll be doing it a lot, chao."

The fourth wall then came tumbling down, and the debris covered the mangled corpse of Humpty Dumpty.

Gary turned his head to look at it for a bit, but soon turned back around and returned to just standing there and looking awesome. Then he poofed away.

Upon returning to his regular, non-chibi form, Max had a question that had to be asked. "How and why am I here anyway?"

Ming Chao cleared her throat, jerking her doll-like body clockwise like a rusty android until she was facing Max.

"Your parents were sick of you doing nothing of value, so they drugged you while you slept, stuffed you in a box and shipped you to Kanto."

When Ming Chao fully turned to look at Max, he had somehow turned to stone with a look of sheer horror on his face.

Exactly what she had been expecting to see.

"Welcome to the place where all neglected main characters go."

"I believe you've been 'Oaked'," MISSINGNO/Tracey needlessly added. Nobody was listening to him though, especially not Max as he was too busy kicking the machine that read his age as '9.999999' until it read '10'.

Author's End Note: Ah, half-assed narrations with the occasional badfic parody. Just the way I like 'em!

So what did this prologue achieve, you may ask?

Absolutely nothing!

I just wanted to see if I could go through with writing a simple introductory chapter to explain how Max got all the way to freakin' Kanto for the story.

I also wanted to introduce Ming Chao, who is most definitely not a placeholder for more unpaid, badly treated interns who will shift according to who I want to showcase.

So difficult when a neglected main character gets thrown out halfway across the world, and we have to go fetch him, eh?

Next chapter Oak starts getting his new lecture pokemon shipped!

Smell ya later.