Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. No money was made from the creation of this fanfic.
A/N: This fic is actually a series of connected one-shots written for ToManyLetters' "Ring Around The Boyfriend" Challenge. Each chapter/one-shot will contain a different pairing. The pairing for this chapter/one-shot is Harry/Ginny. The prompt used is lion.
Warning: This fic contains mild sexual content. Also, while this chapter contains het, some of the later chapters/one-shots will contain slash. This fic is non-epilogue compliant.
Part One: Happily Ever After or Not?
After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry Potter decided to resume his relationship with Ginny Weasley. Of course, since he was currently staying at the Burrow, they didn't have too much time alone with each other. Still, they did go on various dates as well go shop for school supplies for when they were to return to Hogwarts.
Great progress had been made on the restoration of Hogwarts and there were plans to reopen Hogwarts for the next term. Students who should've graduated from Hogwarts the previous term but were unable to due to the war were invited back to complete their education. Ginny initially didn't want to return to Hogwarts, but she changed her mind when she found out that Harry, along with Ron and Hermione, was planning to go.
While Harry and Ginny seemed like the perfect happy couple, they did occasionally have their arguements. Lately, most of their arguements revolved around Severus Snape. Harry was working on getting Snape the recognition Harry felt he deserved as well as clearing Snape's name. Ginny, on the other hand, felt that Harry was wasting his time trying to help a dead man who most likely did as many bad things as he did good things and who was an absolute git towards everyone, especially Harry. Still, Harry persisted, and Ginny quickly realised that once Harry had his mind on something nothing, not even her disagreements, would stop him until he reached his goal.
Harry also had an ulterior motive for clearing Snape's name. While Harry was initially sure that he had seen Snape die, the fact that Snape's body had disappeared from the shack caused Harry to wonder if he had been wrong. Most of his friends thought that Death Eaters must have taken the body, but that theory just didn't sit well with Harry. Sometimes Harry wondered if Snape was still alive and in hiding somewhere. Of course, everyone else would tell him not to get his hopes up. Still, if Snape really was alive then maybe he would eventually come out of hiding if Harry cleared his name and helped change the public's opinion. In any case, Harry kept this motive to himself since he didn't think anyone else, including Ginny, would be able or willing to fully understand.
Dispite their disagreements about Snape and the lack of private time together, Harry and Ginny's relationship continued to develop. They would give each other quick peck son the cheek when the other Weasleys weren't looking. During those rare moments where they were alone, they would give each other longer, deeper kisses. Unfortunately, they never had enough time alone to do anything more than kiss.
As the sexual tension continued to build, Harry began to have fantasies involving Ginny. The most common fantasy Harry had was of Ginny agressively ridding him, her red hair bellowed out like a lion's mane. Even her moans sounded like roars in his fantasy. Every time he had this fantasy, Harry couldn't help but to pleasure himself. Eventually, Harry decided that it was time to find a way to make his fantasies become reality.
One day, Harry and Ginny decided to take a trip to muggle London and stay at a muggle hotel, in an atempt to get away from any snooping reporters. Before they left, they told Molly that they probably wouldn't return to the Burrow until the next day so that she wouldn't be worried. Once they were comfortably in their hotel room, they proceeded to take off their clothes. After they became naked, Harry put on a condom while Ginny took a contraceptive potion. Soon, they were embracing each other on the bed.
"Are you sure you're ready?" asked Harry.
"Yes," Ginny replied as she proceeded to kiss Harry on the lips.
With that said, the young couple began to explore each other's bodies. Since it was the first time for the both of them, it was a rather clumsy attempt. Still, it was an overall pleasant experience. Harry felt mostly satisfied as he laid beside Ginny in afterglow of sex. Yet, there was something about the experience that seemed a little off, though Harry couldn't point out why.
Perhaps, it was because the sex he had with the real Ginny didn't seem to be on par with his dreams and fantasies. Ginny simply wasn't the 'lion' that he imagined her to be. Of course, Harry knew that it was unfair to compare Ginny to a fantasy. Besides, it was only their first time and it was decent, if not quite what he expected. 'Maybe it will get better the more we do it,' thought Harry as he finally fell asleep.
Two weeks passed since their first attempt at sex. During that time frame, Harry and Ginny had sex three more times. Instead of getting better, like Harry had hoped, the sex actually seemed to be getting worse. In fact, Harry had trouble even getting aroused during the last time they had sex. Harry also no longer had any dreams or fantasies involving Ginny. He still had his fantasies, but instead of Ginny they involved a nameless, faceless person.
The sex was not the only part of their relationship that had suffered. They didn't seem to kiss or hold hands as much as they used to. At first, Harry thought he was just being paranoid; but as he counted how many times they kissed and held hands recently, he realised that his observations were accurate. Still, Harry didn't want to give up on his relationship with Ginny. He vowed that he would figure out what was wrong and fix it.
Despite Harry's determination, their relationship did not improve. Ginny had begun to realise that something wasn't right and decided to confront Harry about it. So, one night after the rest of the Weasleys were soud asleep, Ginny quiety woke up Harry and dragged him to the Kitchen so they could have a talk.
"Harry," Ginny began, "is there something wrong? You've been acting kind of strange lately."
"It's nothing," Harry replied. "I've just been having something on my mind. That's all."
Ginny still wasn't satisfied with that answer. "Are you sure, Harry? You know that you can always tell me what's bothering you, right?"
"I know. This is just something I have to figure out for myself."
"Well, okay Harry. I'll trust you. Just know that you can talk to me if you need to." With that said, they both left the kitchen and headed back to bed.
After that conversation, Harry began to reflect on his feelings for Ginny. He loved her, didn't he? After all, his ultimate dream was to marry her, have two or three kids, and have big holidays with a bunch of Weasley relatives.
'But, maybe that's the problem,' thought Harry. 'Maybe I'm more in love with the idea of having a family to call my own than I'm in love with Ginny herself. If that the case, then it's not fair to Ginny. She deserves to have someone who loves her for who she is and doesn't have any ulterior motives. I'm pretty sure that I care for her and I would do almost anything for her, but I would do almost anything for Ron and Hermione, too. Do I really love Ginny in a way that a boyfriend should? I used to think I did; but now, I'm not so sure. Sure, I kissed her, held her hand, and even had sex with her, but I did those things because that's what other boys did with their girlfriends. Even those fantasies... did they even involve Ginny to begin with? Maybe it was always a faceless person in my fantasies and I pretended it was Ginny because she's the one I'm supposed to be dreaming about. In any case, I don't want to give up on my relationship with Ginny, but if I don't really love her in that way, then maybe I should.'
A few days passed by before Harry finally came to a decision. Harry met Ginny outside the Burrow, and they sat down underneath a nearby tree. They sat beside each other in silence for some time before Harry began to speak.
"Ginny, you know that I care about you, right? I used to think that I loved you, and I still do. The problem is that I'm no longer sure if I love you as a girlfriend or just a friend."
Harry looked at Ginny, but she refused to meet his eyes. Sighing, he continued, "I don't think I know how to truly love someone in that way. At least, not yet. And I think I should get some more experience by dating other people for a while. So, until I know exactly what my feelings are, I think we should break up."
Still refusing to look at Harry's eyes, Ginny slowly replied, "Alright, if that's what you think we should do. I love you, Harry, but if you aren't really sure about your feelings, then maybe we should break up. But Harry, I may not wait for you this time."
Placing a hand on Ginny's shoulder, Harry waited a few moments before speaking again. "Ginny, I want for you to find someone who can make you happy. I'll support you even if that person isn't me. Even if I'm just a friend, I'll still care about you."
Ginny turned her head and looked at Harry with her tear-filled eyes. "Oh, Harry," she sobbed, and she leaned against Harry's chest. Harry tried his best to comfort Ginny as cried for several minutes. After she finally calm down, Ginny stood up to leave.
Before she walked away, she look back at Harry. "You know, I wish for your happiness too, Harry. I hope you find out how to truly love someone, even if that person isn't me." With that said, Ginny walked back to the Burrow.
As he watched Ginny leave, Harry wondered if he made the right decision. Part of him still thought he should've tried harder to stay with GInny and make their relationship work. However, if he truely didn't love her as he should, then it would've been cruel to lead her on. For better or for worse, it seemed that Harry wasn't destined to live 'happily ever after' with Ginny. All Harry could do now was hope that living at the Burrow wouldn't get too awkward before it was time to go back to Hogwarts.