Summary: it's kind of an AU to Heroes, Jack is shot in the battle (mostly Jack's POV)

Rating: K+, there aren't any much rude words or something

Category: S/J, angst/romance

Disclaimer: I really don't own them :)

A/N: It's actually my first English fanfic, so I'm very sorry it there's any mistakes (but I swear I checked it as best as I could :) especially the commas (we use them really lot in our language :). But if u find any mistake that would be burning your eyes, feel free and tell me about it.

Skills of Dying.

He experienced these feeling many times ha can't event count it. The feels of lost and despair while the life is being sucked out of your body. And still, though he really thought he would be prepared for everything now... he hated it... it hurt. Not physically although whole his body hurt like hell too, it was emotional pain. How many times when he was dying he told himself he'd make things different if he survived. But he never had enough courage to do this. How many times he told himself to reveal his feelings to his closest friends, to do things he'd always wanted to do. He was just a coward, and he was so smart to realize that only when he was dying again. And it hurt...

"Sir..." the woman shout took him back to the reality.

Yes, he really hated it... not only dying itself but his friends having to... his Carter having to live through it too... How damn much he wanted her to be 'his Sam', not Carter nor his 2IC. Yeah, Jack you old damned coward. 'And what would you do?' told him his second inner voice, 'would you ruin her career? She wouldn't want you anyway, look at yourself!' echoed this voice. Yeah that's true...

"Sir!" he heard her words again, "you have to fight it, medic team would be here soon." Was this desperation he heard in her voice?

"No, Carter, I can't.." shattered words came out of his mouth suddenly realizing he had to have several ribs broken.

"No! You must hold on, it will-"

"Look," he stopped her "Carter, after I... whatever happens, I want you to move on, to be happy and finally get a life. I know you like your job but now it's time for you to be happy... get a real life, with kids and some kind guy, just not some bastard like-"

"I won't... I don't want anyone else." she whispered back.

"Huh?" he spitted out in disbelief. But he knew what she meant and she knew he was just playing stupid again.

"Please, Jack, hold on for me... don't leave me here." she whispered again touching his face. Were those tears in her eyes? Oh damn you, Jack! Why do you have to hurt others all the time... those you like most. 'She says that only to keep you alive longer! She doesn't mean it!' again that his little mind voice. But as he looked into her eyes, he thought he's never seen so worried look in them.

His eyelids felt so much heavy, he was tired, really tired and he wanted to stop all the pain... but he can't do this to... her.

"No! Please! Jack!" she cried even more desperately.

"I'm sorry, Sam..." and finally, the darkness clouded his mind.

'Oh crap, turn off the light somebody!' his mind shouted for him.

'So.. am I finally there? Is that heaven? At least it doesn't look like hell,' and he for sure has been on a lot of places looking like hell,' this was totally different. How the hell could he get to heaven? And was that some blurred kind of angel out there?'

"Do you have a phone here? I have to make a call." he murmured in his well-known sarcastic tone.

"We have, but you should stay in bed right now." he heard from what-looked-like-angel. 'Was that smile what appeared on that blurred thing?' And that familiar voice. Ok, so maybe he was in heaven but he lost his mind completely.

And why does his head have to hurt so much?

"And do you have some aspirins up here?" he mumbled hopefully again.

"Of course we have but Janet have to allow it first." said that familiar amused voice again.

'Janet??? What the hell is Fraiser doing here?' And it suddenly struck him... 'Am I not... no that's not possible... I just can't be...'

I blink a few times, trying to concentrate on that blurred... blond... smiling face... Even that her face was the most angel-like-looking-face he has ever seen and that smile.. oh God. Even he thought it was just too much good to be true... he started to slowly realize it was probably real... much real.

"How do you feel, Jack?" she said with concern in her eyes.

'Jack??? Did she really called me Jack?'

She must have noticed his confused look and smiled on... 'was that General Hammond on her side? Did she REALLY called me by my first name in front of my CO?' But he smiled back.. 'Well, if it's not heaven or dream so what is it?'

"You told me I should change my life... to be happy," she grinned on me - yes, she really GRINNED!- and continued "so I decided to make it happy for both of us."

I open my mouth to say... "No, and it's not a dream," she said those words instead of me.

I look to Gen. Hammond questioningly and he just bow his head, smiling. I turn back to MY SAM and create the biggest smile anyone could've ever seen on my face as she, still grinning nears to my bed to kiss me.