Human Male (C-Sec) / Turian Female (C-Sec)
by Brioche/Bryoche
Citadel
Part I
« -and then the Krogan answered : « Gun ? What gun ? This is just my frying pan !» Eh ? Ah ? That's a good one now in'it ? » Beaming, he was sure this one would get a good reaction off her. He delivered the punchline perfectly, and even peppered the joke with small theatrical gestures and krogan grunts imitations that would have made the Asari from accounting burst out laughting.
« Hm... I never heard that one before. » she answered flatly, her head resting on her palm and a bored look across her features. She stared at him, dead silent, as his smile and optimism seemingly desintegrated before her, occasionally taking a sip nonchanalty from her turian brandy. The discreet ice cubes jingling inside her glass made him realize that the music stopped a while ago and that he was simply standing there, arm outstretched, smiling like an idiot. He didn't last five seconds before admiting defeat.
« Come on !» he finally let out, dejected, crashing down clumsily on the comfortable couch before him. « How many jokes will it takes to get you to crack a smile ? »
« Keep trying. »
« Do turians even smile ? Or do they flap their mandible around like this to laugh ? » he wondered, using both of his hands against his jaw to mimic some kind of unsetling nutcracking action. « Do you even smile ? Or laugh ? »
« You wouldn't be able to guess if I was smiling right now.» she teased in a dead-pan tone, « … And you'd know if I was laughting. It would mean that one of your joke is successful, or at least passable. » A sip from her blue brandy punctuated her condemnation, her brow plates frowning mischievlously.
He groaned and shifted his weight to bury his back deeper against the soft fabric of the sofa. She was still looking at him, lazily hunched on an ottoman across him, paying close attention to the moment he would start to sulk just so that she could gloat about it. Looking down over the low steel table that separated his couch from her oversized cushion, he tried to locate his own drink among the many colorfuls cans and bottles. His tongue suddenly dry and heavy in his mouth. He leaned forward, blinking hard as he tried to internally rationalize that he was merelytipsy, and just on the verge of being really drunk. That meant that he could surely get one last drink before going home
But he couldn't make head or tails from the carnival of alcohol and snacks that was parading on the table. Too many colors, too many labels, too many chances of some dextro-amino beer laying in ambush to send him to the hospital again. Half-drank and half-eaten remnants of their joyous party. It wasn't everyday that the C-Sec managed to completely shut down a violent Humano-Volus red sand smuggling ring, something that would be the headline on the Citadel News Network for some days, something that would deserve a throughout bacchanalia. This time, according to the ancestral Zakera Ward tradition of drawing straws, it was her appartment that got "choosen" as the place to crash.
And as according to that old tradition, they infact did crash her appartment.
The striped blinds filtered a vibrant blue-green light into the messy appartement, the room's lighting seemingly pulsating at the rhythm of the giant "Rosenkov Materials" neon advertisement outside. A heady and stuffy smoke was still rising from an abandonned Elcor cigar, slowly burning alone on the kitchen table amidst a constellation of empty plates, dusty crumbs and fruit peels. What was left of the cocktails and belgian sushis were moved to the lounge table when the party started to dwindle, and now the floor was covered in a odd flock of cushions and round seats. The stereo was silent, its voice either broken by such an intensive use or shamed by the musical taste of its users.
Everybody else left, leaving only her as the defeated host and himself, late to the party but last to leave. As always.
« What are you thiking about ? » she asked, pulling him out of his reverie.
« I was thinking about one last drink before taking off. But I can't make what's levo or dextro-jumbo from all of... this. » he answered, designating the table with an exagerrated hand gesture. « I'm in the mood for something... Strong, but not too strong. Maybe something a little bit sour, but sweet at the same time. You know ? » he tapped on his chin, acting innocent « Something very stoic and unflinching, something that could claw my eyes out but will make my heart melt. See what I mean ? Something- »
« Something like me, I get it. » she interrupted with a blasé sigh. « Let me find it for you. »
He chuckled as she rose from her seat, drink in hand. She stretched herself, eyes closed and mandibles streched, her long arm bending strengely behind her back, and simply ajusted her snug black top, zipping it back up to the collar. Standing up, she looked down towards him, towering above, two piercing green eyes between fine scrawls of red warpaint. He paused, a little confused by her pensive expression and long gaze.
« What ? » he snorted, staring at her though and unmoving face.
Her mandibles silently opened, showing rows of sharp dagger-like teeth, as if she was about to say something. She tensed up, raising her head and exhaling forcefully.
« You did a good job today. » she curtly said. « You are a credit to our team. »
She turned around and disappeared towards the kitchen.
It was an unexpeced and out-of-character reaction coming from her. He frowned and scratched his head, rubbing his eyes vigorously. She wasn't exactly forthcoming with compliments. Has the alcohol gone to her head ? He sighed and let himself get devoured a little more by the soft maw of the couch. They shared history, the both of them. She was assigned as his patrolling partner when she got transferred to the Zakera C-Sec section. Her stoic and military-minded personallity were probably supposed to counter his laid back and relaxed attitude. He never managed to make her crack a smile during duty, and she never managed to make him care about his job enough to not get to the station two to five minutes late – or shave for all that mattered. She was unbending protocol, he was unpredictable improvisation. She was the cold ruthless letter of the law, and he was the open and forgiving spirit of the law, or at least he saw himself that way. The very picture of Turiano-humano contrast. Their little petty tug-of-war about how to handle field work has been going for two years now, full of drunken arguments and rarely a fistfight or two.
But there was no one else he trusted more than that woman. Crashing a C-Sec shuttle in the middle of an illegal krogan gambling den and having to survive the wrath of its owner make you learn some things about trust. They had to look after each other back then.
Funny, now that he thought about it, he never really tried to fight her on the importance of protocol since then. And she never gave him flack for coming in late or not shaving when his arm was healing.
« Here, try this. » her rough and flanging voice said.
She was handing a square glass containing a layer of beautiful amber liquid to him. Taking the drink from her, he tentatively smelled it. Earthy. Light and fruity.
She carefully sat down on the other side of the couch, one long leg bent under her other thigh. She turned her head towards him as she sipped on her own beverage – that she seemingly refuelled back in the kitchen – while making the ice cube tingle nicely. He put his lips to the side off the glass and bent his head backward.
The amber liquid was strong-tasting : a burning hot and numbingly heavy sensation flooding his palate and throat before a sweet, sugarry and honeyed aftertaste lingered on his tongue. The liquor was much more loaded than its smelled preluded to it, but it was an enjoyable drink. Something like cognac or a very sweet whisky ?
« It's really good. » he admited, impressed, smacking his lips contentedly. « What is it ? »
« Something from Earth. It's a blend of honey and an alcohol humans call "vodka". »
Bewildered, he looked at his glass like it used to contain a golden molten treasure that he just drank. He spun his head towards her : « Why do you have something so- »
« Relax, it was gift from a human girl I befriended back on Earth. She was pretty young, so she probably didn't understood how our metabolism differed and that I couldn't drink that. » she shrugged. « I'm just glad I finally managed to get someone to taste it. »
He paused and scratched his head. He never expected such a story coming from her. His curiosity was peaked : « You went to Earth ? » he asked with a small laugh.
« Yes. I think it was four or five years ago ? A continuation of the Palaven-Earth military exchange program, you remember ? I served under some human commanders as an experiment on how to integrate turian soldiers to the human chain of command. »
He scratched his chin, suddenly understanding why she joined the Zakera C-Sec section where the majority of officers are humans. « Did you liked Earth ? »
She sighted, her rough voice betraying just a hint of longing « It's a cold place for my kind, much colder than Palaven. But I have good memories about my stay. Your species developped some interesting concepts during your young history.»
« Concepts ? »
« Your police special force training, your theory about nuclear detterence and mutually assured destruction... Oh ! And those "helicopters" of yours are pretty interesting to look at ! A shame that your governement lost touch with the teaching of that ancient Roman Empire, humans would gain a lot by learning how an autocratic leadership would push them towards greatness. »
He groaned with disapointement. « What about our culture, our people ? »
« The people ? » she repeated, incredulous. « Well... It always surprised me how friendly your kind is. How open they are to each other. » She said, sneaking a sip from her drink.
« Any anecdote ? » he prodded.
« I've seen people greet by embracing each others, a traditional festival where humans climb over their comrades and stand on their shoulders to make the tallest tower... And your holos... » she turned her head towards him, frowning accusingly « As one of your human expression says : your kind have a pretty touchy-feely culture. »
He laughted at her reaction. « That's just because you turians are always so repressed and inhibited. No, wait... That's just because you are too hung-up to understand us. »
« Tch ! » she sneered at his remark, shifting her weight from side to side.
« You know what would be good for you ? » he continued, unabated « Experimenting something tactful and tactile. They rhyme now ain't 'em ? See what I mean ? Something that would make your heart shed its iron shell and go boom-boom. See what I mean ? 'cause I mean sex. 'cause Turians are- »
She froze and tensed up, her sharp talons visibly squeezing her glass as her mandibles flapped angrily. « Is this the start of another one of your joke ? » she asked, exasperated.
He stopped himself, mouth agape. Suddenly realizing that he didn't want to vex her for something so uncalled-for as a dirty joke at the expense of her race. He had too much respect for her to tease her like that anymore. He quickly wondered if he wasn't making a fool of himself again. Probably, he thought. But somehow he felt he couldn't back down from what he said. It would make him feel like a cowardly boor. He had to rectify his trajectory. Maybe by being honest with her ? She earned a little honesty from him, right ?
« No. I think I sincerely believe it. » he started, trying to sound as sincere as he could, an earnest attempt a tad bit ruined by his drunken slur. « I mean, sex is great now in'it ? It feels good. Intimacy with someone you like feels good. Feels confortable, you know ?»
She turned towards him furrowed her eyes, seemingly unconvinced or still vexed. Her brow-plates and mandibles moving menacingly in the dimly lit athmosphere.
« That and the fact that sex relieves stress. » he blabbered, a little lost in his own argument. « By liberating your bottled-up frustrations, you are more vigiliant to your surrounding, more attentive to the need of the team because your own have been taken care off, you know ? It's even an excellent way to understand how your own body work ! What feels good and what feels not, what's sensitive or whatnot, you know ? Sex is a way of discovering yourself. »
Mandibles slightly outstreched and her head tilted on the side, she was looking at him with less anger and maybe more confusion. He felt that not only he was furiously digging his own grave deeper by the second, but also that he was probably giving her a very Asari-like mind-bending spiritual look on something as raunchy as sex.
« So yeah. I really think that you should get some sex with someone you like more often. » he stumbled, realizing that it sounded much better in his head. « Intimacy with someone you like's a great way to deal with stress, build up trust and improve both body and mind... I'm sure that... »
He stopped in his track, his mouth dry and his mind blank. He scratched his head indolently, sipping from his amber beverage before realizing that maybe more alcohol would make his argument more clear and convincing. Or was it the contrary ? Why did he come to start talking about sex ?
He inhaled sharply « I'm sure that there's-. »
« Do you want to sleep with me tonight ? » she said at the exact same moment.
« -a nice turian guy out there that... What ? »
He gulped hard and turned towards her. Her frontplate were still furrowed and her mandibles tighlty held against her jaw, but her eyes were much softer. Her lithe body was turned towards, but her arms were nervously crossed over thights, firmly holding on her empty glass. He thought for a second that he hallucinated what he though she just said, and that he crossed the line from really drunk to completely smashed.
« Do you want to sleep with me tonight ? » she repeated, slower, huskier, her words hanging on the silence of the room. She slightly leaned forward, as if to make their head at the same level, her piercing green eyes studying his face for his reaction, his answer. She exhaled sharply, her hot breath betraying the smell of a bread-like alcohol.
He felt his heart pumping strong and hard. Was she always this... cute ?
« Yeah, sure, why not, I'd like to. » he muttered, almost to himself, mesmerized by her green eyes.
« Follow me upstairs. » she simply stated. Putting her drink down and rising up.
He closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side. Suddenly very aware of his surrounding and what was probably going to happen next.
It was a sobbering thought, to say the least.