DISCLAIMER: I do not have the rights to Ace Attorney or any of the characters used in this story, only the story itself is mine. I wouldn't be so cruel to Apollo if I did...

Contains spoilers for Apollo Justice, Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice, if you're reading this and haven't played any of those, why? Anyway, you've been warned. Also, this isn't lighthearted, it's not a tragedy really, but this isn't bittersweet or anything like that. It's just Apollo.

A little oneshot I wrote as a spur of the moment sort of thing. It didn't really have much of a purpose or conceived idea in my head, it just kinda... is. It's just Apollo working through some stuff, I guess that's what you'd sum it up as.

Anyway, if you like this or have any comments, please review! I've (despite it being my favourite series) never written for Ace Attorney before, so any advice or comments are appreciated. Don't want to leave a comment here? I'm on Twitter to chat too - same username minus the 's' on the end.

Also, if you're a fan of Zelda, click on my profile to see an on going fanfic called the Legend of Link: the Bastard Prince. I swear it picks up in quality soon and I absolutely loved writing it, so I'd love for more people to check it out.

Anyway, enjoy (I guess?) this little piece.


Apollo's Career

"Say, how IS your career going, by the way?"

All things considered, this was the last thing Apollo had expected Dhurke to ask.

Exhausted, terrified of being stuck in this cave for the rest of his life and still a bit pissed about his foster father appearing out of nowhere and asking for his services; Apollo had answered Dhurke honestly enough, but there were still a great many things he'd left unsaid. A habit he'd picked up during his first few years of living in America.

Sure, it was nice of him to apologise for leaving him all those years ago, but it hardly made up for the fact that Apollo'd spent large swaths of his adolescence crying into a cold pillow. And, yes, the orphanage he'd lived in had been nice and everything, but it was a lonely place for a child brought up in a different country.

In Khura'in, he'd had a brother, a foster father and a crazy uncle Datz. Not to mention all the other rebels who'd helped them from time to time.

In America he had a pillow, a blanket and that bracelet on his wrist. He didn't even have any photos.

And now he was restarting Dhurke's law firm alone.

Yes, Datz, Alibi, Nahyuta and even Rayfa were helping him out; but none of them were capable of being a defence attorney. And the only person from America who'd stayed behind was Ema – and she was capable of going back whenever she liked or was called to.

Once again, Apollo was stuck somewhere because of Dhurke. Alone and against the world.

It didn't matter that his hours were filled with cases, that the new era of law in Khura'in (the Justice era) was named somewhat after him, that he was back in his childhood country making a name for himself and saving the wrongly accused.

At the end of the day, the facts were simple: Apollo had made a spur of the moment decision that had given him his own law office to run in a country without lawyers.

But, he was Apollo Justice, he never once let his smile falter in front of clients or his refound family, he never let anyone believe he was anything but fine.

And so it continued until New Year's Eve.

Nahyuta had asked him to join Rayfa, Amara and him at the Palace for New Year. "I've invited Detective Skye, the young monk and Datz to join us as well. It would be lovely to have you there, Apollo."

As gracious an invitation as it was (and as much as Apollo enjoyed seeing his brother be himself again and Ema uncomfortable with the Royal Family), Apollo had declined.

Then Klavier had offered for Apollo to join him in Germany for the Gavinners' New Years concert. "It'll be great fun, ja? You'll get to watch as I rock in the Year with a little Guilty Love!" Apparently Lamiroir was going to perform as well, and there was meant to be an opportunity for Apollo to meet a German Prosecutor and an Interpol Detective at Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth's insistence.

As interested as Apollo was in meeting friends of Mr. Edgeworth's other than Mr. Wright, and as much as he loved Lamirior, Apollo had declined Gavin's invitation as well.

Then came the final invitation from the Wright Anything Agency. And, of course, it was Trucy asking, tugging at his heart strings and trying to guilt trip him into coming.

"Come on, Polly! We haven't seen you in forever! Athena's all excited and Daddy's inviting Mr. Edgeworth and their weird artist friend Laurice! Plus, Pearl and Ms. Maya are bringing a Fey family cake! And, and! I'm performing a new trick with Mr. Hat and an assistant from the audience! Wouldn't you love to be that assistant?!"

Yet still, Apollo declined Trucy's invite. Not that he didn't love the idea of seeing everyone back at the agency again (or even that he didn't like the idea of being another assistant to Trucy's magic), it was just that he'd already made New Years plans.

After Dhurke's funeral, Apollo had a made a vow. He'd spend some time with his father this year, even if it was the last thing he did.

And so, bundled up to his horns in winter wear, Apollo set out to Khura'in's cemetery a little after 11pm on New Years Eve.

It wasn't meant to be a sad occasion or anything like that, at least that's what Apollo hoped it wouldn't be. Instead it was meant to be the opportunity to say one last goodbye to the man who'd raised him, the kind of goodbye neither one had been able to give each other in life.

So, after Apollo set the single nahmanda flower down before the large monument to Dhurke in the heart of the attorney district of the cemetery, he drew himself up.

"I'm fine, I'm fine... This is what you wanted to do, Justice, don't choke on it!"

He cleared his throat and checked his phone – only half an hour left.

"Okay. Here's the thing, Dhurke." He cleared his throat and started over again.

"No, okay, I'm fine! Um, Dhurke. Dhurke, you asked me how my career was going back in the cave. And, well, I left a lot out in my answer. So I want to answer again."

He rubbed his hands together as he stared, unseeingly, towards Dhurke's monument.

"It HAS been a harrowing adventure, a career full of betrayal and death. And, it's not been fine. I'VE not been fine. I'm not fine now. But let's start at the beginning of the, what, three years? (Really? Only three years? Wow.) Three years, I've been an attorney...

"I was an assistant to a man called Kristoph Gavin, I worked at his law firm. Then a client asked for me specifically to defend them, in my first proper trial. A murder, obviously. It really put me through the wringer.

"Yeah, my first client was Mr. Wright. I might have lost my cool a little when it was revealed that my boss, Mr. Gavin, was the killer... I might have even punched Mr. Wright after the trial – and he was one of my reasons for becoming an attorney in the US – I'd kinda given up on Khura'in by that point. He offered me a place at his agency after all that, and for some reason I accepted.

"Well, my second case was with Mr. Wright's agency. I met his daughter, you know Trucy, and I saw Mr. Wright's legendary luck. Well, I worked three different angles at once until they lead to a murder. Not a hard murder to solve once you got rid of all the useless red herrings, but I was really off balance.

"I'd just discovered my perceive ability, met my 'rival', who just so happened to be a rock star and the brother of my old boss, and Ema. Ema was a bit of a pain before she joined forensics.

"Then, my third case was at a concert – Klavier Gavin's concert. Gavin was pissed, more so over the loss of his guitar than his band mate to begin with... That's not fair, Gavin'd been through some serious bull over those few months. Anyway, that third case I met Lamiroir, a lovely singer who was duetting with Gavin. I bet you'd like her.

"The fourth case I worked was an utter mess, to be honest. A jury system was the only thing that saved it from utter disaster. And they were what got Mr. Gavin convicted for another murder and an attempted. I really did feel sorry for Klav. But, if he could keep smiling despite it all, then so could I.

"That was the motto I adopted after finding out that my former boss was a killer and one I kept when I started working for Mr. Wright after he got his badge back.

"My next major case came when I met Athena. A Yokai case, believe it or not. In hind sight, it was a lot easier than some of the others I've worked, but I was helping bring in a newbie and off my game with all the monster talk.

"That was the case I met Detective Bobbie Fulbright. He was a real change of pace from Ema, not that that was a good thing, really. It was also the case I met samurai, prison Prosecutor Blackquill. Blackquill's nice and everything now, a real confidant for Athena, but man, that guy scares me.

"Anyway, the next one was with Athena as the lead and I was the assistant. It was her old friend on trial, lovely girl named Juniper. The case had a lot of twists and turns, hell, it seemed to just go on and on... But by the end of it I was proud to see Athena growing into a fully-fledged lawyer in her own right.

"Just as I was beginning to call her a friend, my oldest one was murdered. And she had enough psyche-ticks that I suspected her.

"My best friend, dear, dear Clay... He's been gone a year now. And I still can't get over it.

"That's why I was so drastic in defending his mentor, Mr. Starbuck. I suppose, in a way, Mr. Starbuck reminded me a lot of Datz, in his own way, of course.

"Then, throw the court bombing in there! Goddammit, it just wasn't FAIR! I'd lost Clay, I suspected Athena, I couldn't quite prove Starbuck innocent, I'd saved Juniper's life! Then I was attacked by the real bomber!

"It's a wonder that I didn't just give up there and then.

"Instead, I ended up dressing a little like you, Dhurke. Clay's coat over my shoulders and a bandage over my eye to stop me perceiving... I probably looked the spitting image of you...

"Well, I certainly ended up imitating Mr. Gavin in court after my own investigations. Why Athena doesn't hate me is a wonder, I practically indicted her there and then.

"It was hell, that case, but it worked out and I went back to the agency. Everything was meant to be fine. I was meant to be fine. But I wasn't.

"My best friend was dead, my mentor a murderer and I was left alone and clinging to the agency for comfort.

"Then, six months later, you appear.

"Out the of the bloody blue, asking for me to help you find some long-lost relic. You pitted me against Mr. Wright, you almost made me give in.

"You were dead the entire time I saw you again.

"And now, I'm living in Khura'in. Now I'm the only attorney at your office. Now I'm in a whole new country again.

"In the span of six months, I lost my best friend and my foster father. And here I am, stood talking to myself on New Years Eve instead of being with any of me new friends or extended family.

"Here I am, crying in the snow, knowing that there's going to be someone new taken away from me next year."

Apollo hiccuped as he shivered next to Dhurke's grave. He can't feel the cold, the first touches of frostbite to his toes.

He can't feel anything but the pain and anguish he's been suppressing.

He's not fine, he never was.

But all he can do is put on a smile for his clients, because that's what Mr. Wright taught him.

He can't yield, Dhurke taught him that.

And he taught Clay what it was to be fine. He can't give in on that mantra. He can't let Clay see him as not fine.

Somewhere, in the Twilight Realm, or Heaven, or space, or some new baby's crib, Apollo had to believe that Dhurke, Clay and even his father were smiling.

Because if he let himself believe that they weren't all out there somewhere, starting over or just watching on, he really wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning.

And then the fireworks started and the year moved on.

Apollo watched the flashes with a kind of abstraction, sniffling to himself. Numb. Almost unseeing.

This year will be better, he told himself the same thing he'd said after Clay's death last year. This year HAS to be better.

So the fireworks fall and Apollo leaves – patting his father's monument once before he goes.

He repeats his ever longer mantra to himself as he starts back to the office:

"The worst of times are when I have to force my biggest smile, because I'm fine and a dragon never yields..."

It helps if he keeps telling himself that, over and over, it's power fading on him with each trial and each new, improbable murder.

He's Apollo Justice, and he's not fine.

Not really.