AN: This is not in anyway trying to bash Sera.
On my first time romancing her I was playing an elf.
When she broke up with Lavellan over her elf things, I was pretty upset about it, but then I was curious if I could start a romance late in the game, and I could and did with Cullen.
Which got me curious if Sera would have been upset to see Lavellan having moved on to someone else, so this is what I wrote for that plot bunny.
Sera had not expected to feel this much pain as she watched Cullen hug Lavellan tight to his chest. Sera still only saw her Lavellan, her love, but she wasn't her's, not anymore. Sera had broken up with her, she had let her go, so Lavellan became his.
This was what she had wanted.
Lavellan was too elfy, everything she said was wrong, everything she did was even worse, and yet Sera felt a huge loss in her chest with every beat of her heart.
She wasn't one to think of the past, but now, as a party went on around her, the past seemed to be the only thing that she could think about.
Her memories danced over every moment with Lavellan, like it was the only thing her mind would allow her to think about, it was bad enough her dreams were plagued with a soft laugh and the smell of cinnamon, now it seemed her whole life would be consumed by what she could have had.
It was disgusting to see how perfect Cullen and Lavellan were, they fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. He was everything Lavellan deserved, as much as Sera hated to admit it. He was good, a little uptight, but he was serious about her, he wasn't scared of standing by her side, even with her elfy ways. Lavellan deserved someone that strong, and needed someone that strong.
Which led Sera to the scariest of ideas.
That it had never been Lavellan's elfy ways, but Sera's own fears that drove her from the woman she loved.
She hated everything to do with Lavellan's attitude towards the Dalish, but it didn't bother anyone else, at least not like Sera was bothered. Cullen didn't care, he didn't even care that she was a mage. They were perfect together, all of their little pieces matched, and Sera had been so sure her pieces had matched Lavellan's.
No, she knew they had.
Lavellan's pieces were the exact match to her's, born to fit together, and Sera had ruined it, she had broken Lavellan's pieces till they no longer fit her own.
It was hard to swallow the bitterness, this feeling didn't just wash away because she wanted it to. It sat there, a heavy reminder that she fucked up the best thing she ever had.
Her Inky, her Shiny, her Buckles, the love of her life.
Gone.
Sera knew it was her fault, Lavellan had accepted her, all of her annoying habits, the things that pushed people away, Lavellan stood through all of it, but Sera couldn't do the same.
She was weak, she was pathetic, she didn't deserve Lavellan.
The words were a mantra in her head.
The final straw was watching Cullen and Lavellan disappear upstairs to Lavellan's quarters, no doubt to relish in their love, in how stupidly perfect for each other they were, and she wanted to hate both of them, but she couldn't.
Lavellan was happy, truly happy, and in love with someone perfect for her in every way.
That was enough for Sera to not be angry.
Still, she was bitter, it sat in the pit of her stomach, gnawing its way through her, and she took care of it in the only way she knew how.
Loads and loads of alcohol, when she was too shit-faced to remember that she fucked up, everything was good, and she didn't have to worry about Lavellan until tomorrow when the pain would sink back into her heart, but for now, she was going to live.