One-shot song fic. Song is "Loves Me Not" by T.A.T.U. I own Rachel, everyone else is property of themselves and the WWE.
+Chapter 1+
"You're my sister! How could you do this to me?!" she cried as tears poured from her already red eyes. I looked at my baby sister knowing that her pain was completely my fault. There wasn't anything I could say to correct or eliminate her pain. I lowered my head, unable to stare at her any longer. I muttered softly the only thing that came to mind, "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" her tone quickly heightened as she spoke. I knew she was fuming. "Sorry isn't going to fix things! It's not going to make me forget, and it sure as shit won't make me forgive either of you!" she screamed as she pushed past me and exited the room. I debated on whether or not to follow her, but I figured it would only make the situation worse. I never meant to hurt my sister. I loved her more than anything. I never would hurt her out of spite or 'just to do it' but this, what I'd done, just happened. I can't even blame alcohol or anything.
I closed my eyes and thought back to the 'good ole days' and a small smile crossed my thin lips. Those days no longer existed. No amount of begging and pleading would bring them back either. I had almost single handedly destroyed that picture perfect image that once was. I thought about Rachel and how badly I'd hurt her; it sent a chill down my spine that I could do something so terrible to my own flesh and blood.
I made my official debut into the WWE years ago. I loved my job, the people I worked with, and the fans. When I was at work, I was in my element. I had an amazing boyfriend who I loved more than anything who I was with on the road as well as off the road. After a few years, Rachel came into the Universe and quickly fell into the swing of things. Over time, I noticed my sister's interactions with a good friend of mine and my boyfriend. Before I knew it, they were together. I'd never paid him much mind until after my sister began dating him. Maybe it was because of my own relationship problems or maybe it was because of some hidden sibling jealousy. I watched for months as their relationship bloomed, the whole time feeling the jealousy eating me alive. I was trying to fix my own relationship but at the same time, I wanted him… my sister's boyfriend, not mine. Being friends for years hadn't helped the attraction.
"Hey Amy…" his voice spoke as he approached me.
"Hey Adam…" I said in response.
"Rachel's sick?" he questioned.
"Yeah, she's at home. Sick as a dog…" I muttered smiling at him.
"I'll have to call her after the show. Make sure she's ok." He said honestly.
I looked at him and months of frustration had boiled over. "Do you love my sister?"
He gazed at me with surprise in his facial expression. "You know I do…"
I looked at him, feeling a panic in my own chest. "More than you love me?"
He looked at me with confusion on his face. "Amy?"
I stared at him, the man I had fallen for over time. The man I wanted to hold and kiss more than anything else. "Do you love Rachel more than you love me?" I repeated looking into his blue eyes.
He looked at me and bit his lower lip. I knew when he couldn't answer the question that he didn't want to tell me the truth and hurt me. I looked at him and nodded my head. "That's what I thought." I muttered turning to walk away as the tears began to weld up in my eyes.
I felt his hand on my arm as I turned to walk away. I slowly turned to look at him. He drew me closer to his body as we looked into each other's eyes. Before I knew it we were kissing. I knew it was wrong. I knew I would hurt not only Matt but Rachel as well. Two people I loved more than anything, but something about Adam made it all worth it to me. That's how it all started and afterwards, we both felt too guilty to tell Rachel and Matt. We also couldn't leave each other alone. I never thought it was possible to love two people at the same time, but it can happen. Matt and Adam both had attributes that the other didn't have and I loved them both for different reasons. Matt was a planner and always there for comfort me. Adam was adventurous and surprising. Neither Rachel nor Matt knew about Adam and I until after it'd been happening for months.
++I complicated our lives
By falling in love with him
I complicated our lives
Now I'm losing my only friend
I don't know why, I had to try
Living my life on the other side
Now I'm so confused
I don't know what to do++
Matt found out first. Adam had texted my phone and Matt saw the texts before I did. I remember that night like it was yesterday. The hurt on his face. The anger in his voice. He told me it was over, called me a string of names which I deserved, and kicked me out of his house. I knew I was wrong and had no reason to beg him to reconsider. No amount of 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry' could save us, and I knew that.
"I can't believe you'd do this to your own sister!" he screamed.
I looked at him, unable to offer an explanation. "Please don't tell Rachel, I need to tell her." I begged him.
"Why would you do this to? I loved you!" he screamed.
"I can't give you any answer besides I'm sorry. I love you too but I don't know why I did this…" I replied honestly. Matt looked at me with pain in his eyes. "I can't forgive you for this, Amy."
"I know you can't…"
++He loves me, He loves me not She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me...
I started blurring the lines
Because I didn't care
I started crossing the line
Cause you were never there
No where to turn,
No one to help,
It's almost like I don't even know myself
Now I have to choose
I don't know what to do
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, she loves me++
Rachel looked at me the next day. I was visibly upset because of Matt and me breaking up. We'd been together almost 6 years. She looked at me and expressed her confusion.
"But why would he end things out of the blue? I just don't understand that! Maybe he's just mad and he'll get over it?"
I shook my head. "No, he won't ever forgive me."
"What did you do?" she asked with concern.
I bit my lip as I stared at her. I had to tell her. "I slept with someone else." I muttered.
Rachel looked surprised. "Amies! Why would you do that?"
I threw my hands into the air. "I don't know why!"
"Who was it? Someone Matt knew?"
I shook my head trying to avoid her eyes.
"Who?" she pressed as she ran her hand over my shoulder.
I looked at her and took a deep breath. "Adam."
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I could see her mind was spinning as she was obviously choosing her words wisely. "My Adam?" she asked already knowing the answer.
"Yes…"
"Why would you do that?! You know how much I love him!" she screamed as tears began to fall freely from her eyes.
"I don't know! I'm sorry!" I screamed trying to comfort her.
She shrugged me off as she shook her head in my direction, "Don't touch me!" she screamed jumping away from me.
"You're my sister and I love you!"
Rachel turned quickly and looked at me. "You don't love me! I don't want to know you anymore! You're not my sister anymore! You make me sick!" she screamed before flinging the door open and storming out.
++He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me...
No where to turn,
No one to help,
It's almost like I don't even know myself
Now I have to choose
I don't know what to do++
I walked out into the hallway and almost slammed into Jeff. I couldn't look at him either. He was one of my best friends but at the same time, he was Matt's brother. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.
"I heard about what happened… and I heard Rachel screaming at Adam. How are you?"
I looked at him, tears still on my cheeks. "Like you care." I said trying to push past him.
"Amy, you're my friend… I do care! I always will…" he said.
I lost my composure as I looked at him. "Everything's such a mess. I can't fix any of it!"
"They love you. Even if things won't be the same, they love you."
I wiped my tears. "No they don't."
"You made a mistake…."
"It wasn't a mistake." I whispered.
Jeff looked at me. "You love Adam?"
"Yeah."
"The heart wants what the heart wants. I just hope he feels the same about you… so you don't get hurt."
Jeff looked past me and smiled. "Maybe it's time to find out."
I turned and saw Adam standing there awkwardly behind us. He walked up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I watched as Jeff walked up the hall and met Rachel and Matt. I watched as the three of them walked away. I clutched Adam's neck as he held me close to his body.
++He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
He loves me, He loves me not
She loves me, She loves me not
Loves me not...++