"Totally Not What You're Thinking" a "Yu-Gi-Oh!" fanfiction 3-19-2014
I stumbled upon this old thing awhile ago, so please have an early, silly, cutesy, ridiculous Valentine's Day fic.
Yugi was skipping happily down the hall towards the room which he and his other self shared; it was Valentine's Day, and his yami had promised to help him surprise Anzu with a special gift that Yugi had picked out earlier on in the week. Yugi couldn't wait to see the look on her face!
He passed by Miho, who was standing out in the hall with her ear pressed against a door.
Yugi cocked his head to the side, wondering what she was doing. "Miho-cha-"
"Ssssh!" She turned to him, her finger to her lips. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she did her best to explain why she was eavesdropping. "Miho brought a special Valentine's Day present for Bakura-kun, but Miho was shooed out of Bakura-kun's room by Bakura-kun's baka no yami!"
She turned to stick her tongue out at the door. "So, Miho has been standing here and listening to Bakura-kun and his yami, and Miho doesn't like the way they're talking!"
Yugi stared at the door with a certain degree of curiosity before leaning close to listen himself.
"NO!" Bakura Ryou's voice could be heard ringing out from within his bedroom. "Yami, stop it!"
"Come on, little landlord..." Yami no Bakura purred, his voice low enough and soft enough that Yugi had to strain to hear what he was saying. "It's not like I'm asking for your body... this time, anyway."
Yugi cringed as the spirit of the Sennon Ring could be heard laughing evilly under his breath. There was also the sound of scuffling, as though Ryou were trying to get away.
"Go away, yami! I... I don't have to give you anything!"
"But, Ryyyyou..." the evil yami drawled, the tone of his voice causing Yugi to blush. "Sweet, precious, little Ryou, why won't you? I'm not asking for much, pretty host, so why won't you just give me the one little thing I desire of you?"
There was silence for a moment, and Yugi could easily envision Ryou-kun swallowing nervously.
Finally, Ryou responded. "I can't! I won't! I won't give you a kiss!"
Yugi jumped away from the door as if the handle had bitten him, but his ear was soon dragged back by his piqued curiosity.
When he spoke again, the spirit of the ring sounded almost... hurt. "... Why won't you give me a kiss, landlord? ... Am I that bad of a tenant?"
There was a rustling, as if Ryou were shaking his head rapidly. "It's not that, yami! Honest!"
"... But?"
"But... I've never shared kisses with anyone before. I've never even had anyone to share them with before!"
Both fell silent for a few seconds, but then Yami no Bakura spoke again, his voice now sounding hopeful instead of hurt.
"Could we trade, landlord? I'll give you a hug if you give me a kiss!"
Ryou's voice floated back, sounding intrigued. "I've never had a hug before..."
"Oh, hugs are wonderful, little host! Some people even say that they're better than kisses!"
"Better than kisses?!" Ryou asked, his voice sounding speculative. "Really?!"
"Well, some people think so, anyway. But what do you think of that deal, landlord? A kiss for a hug?"
"Well... Alright!" Ryou answered brightly.
Glancing over to his side, Yugi could plainly see the indignant fury that was painted all over Miho's face. So terrifying was her glare, he thought the door might just burn down!
Yugi was mildly surprised to hear soft moans coming from within Bakura-kun's bedroom, as apparently the two spiritual partners had come to some sort of agreement.
"... Mmmm... I love the way your kisses taste, pretty landlord! They're smooth and sweet and succulent... I want more! Give me more! Right now, Ryou!"
"Hmm? Ack! Hey! Stop that! Yami, no!"
"Please, Ryou? Just a few more. I'll give you all of my hugs!"
"No, stop it!"
Miho's rage was now all-encompassing, and she curled her hands into fists. "That baka no yami is stealing Miho's future husband!"
Quickly taking a step back, Yugi watched in slight fear as Miho pushed the door open and entered the room. He was slightly surprised when she froze suddenly, as though too shocked to move.
Hoping he wasn't about to see something very personal that he would regret walking into later, Yugi slowly entered the room.
Ryou was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, defensively clutching a bright pink basket that was decorated with hearts and frilly bows. Hershey's Chocolate Kisses were falling out of the basket onto the floor, since he was holding it so precariously.
Yami no Bakura was sprawled across the bed in a lazy fashion, laughing and eagerly grabbing at the dropped Kisses, tearing the wrappers off and shoving the candies into his mouth. A bag of Hershey's Hugs sat near him, being kept just out of Ryou's reach.
Both Bakuras paused and turned to gaze at their intruders, causing both Miho and Yugi to blush strongly.
"May we help you?" Ryou asked, staring up at his friends with some interest.
Since Miho was completely frozen where she stood, Yugi decided to intervene tactfully. "Well, you see, Ryou-kun... Miho-chan just wanted to know if you liked the Valentine's Day present she gave you!"
Ryou beamed up at both of them in his usual sweet way. "Of course I like it, Miho-chan! I love this basket of delicious chocolate goodies you gave me!"
He turned to glare at his dark side, snapping a Kiss out of the spirit's hands. "Unfortunately, my yami seems to think that he can just take all my sweets from me!"
"Well... I offered to trade..."
Yugi turned to look at the bag of candy beside the yami. "Where did you get your candy from, Bakura-san?"
Before the darker one could answer, Ryou spoke up. "He went to the store and bought it himself. Or, more likely, he probably stole it out in the parking lot from some poor girl that was going to make a special gift for her sweetheart."
Yami no Bakura smirked at his host wickedly. "But, you love me anyway, don't you?"
Ryou glared at him vehemently and promptly turned away. "I don't think you even deserve an answer, after you've already eaten so much of the gift that I received!"
"Oh, that reminds me!" Yugi's eyes widened and he fled the room. "I need to go give my gift to Anzu-chan! Bye, Ryou-kun, Miho-chan, Bakura-san!"
"Bye, Yugi-kun!" Ryou called after him.
Yami no Bakura turned his smirk upwards to look at Miho. "And speaking of receiving gifts, you are aware that Honda is waiting so you can give you the world's largest bouquet of flowers, correct?"
Miho's eyes grew to be as large as dinner plates and she too ran out the room, an excited smile on her face. "Flowers for Miho? I'm coming, Honda-kun!"
Laughing darkly, the yami turned his attention back to Ryou. "Now then, where were we...?"
"We were at the point where I am not about to hand all of my candies over to you, you pig!"
"Rats."
The End.