Rin averted her eyes from his amber ones, taking a deep steadying breath. "I won't be there tomorrow." She seemed to be trembling, as if scared that he would be angry with her, or ask where she would be. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow in bewilderment, his gaze trying to lock with hers but failing.
"I just wanted to tell you goodbye," her eyes filled with unshed tears as her gaze finally met his, "I'm leaving and never coming back."
There was an uncomfortable silence, the air between them crackling with unspoken tension and fear as the two gazed at one another. Rin avoided his prying eyes, choosing instead to look at the dirt-covered ground.
Rin slid the metal across her wrist, the warm stinging sensation somehow calming her emotional turmoil, her eyes watching as blood began to flow from the wound she had inflicted on herself. She repeated the action once, twice, three times before setting the blade down. Rin was sitting on the tiled floor, full lotus style, against the bathtub. Blood flowed in small rivets down her arm, a dazed look in Rin's eyes as she tried to remember what had triggered her this time.
Someone shoved Rin into a locker, her books thrown to the floor as she fell. The right side of her body pulsed with pain, the bruises already forming alongside the ones she had gotten from her foster 'mother'. Her assailant, Zagan, and his girlfriend laughed at Rin's pain, not caring that she seemed to be barely able to move. The two would call Rin all kind of names, telling her that she should not have been born and that was why Rin's mother had abandoned her, that she was worthless. Rin was almost glad that Sesshomaru was not around or he might have noticed how she held her shoulder and abdomen even before Zagan shoved her into the hard metal lockers.
Rin arrived home that afternoon, a slap to the face her foster mother's greeting to her. Rin bolted upstairs to her room, locking the door before Marie could do anything worse. Her foster mother's fist thundered against the door, the woman yelling vulgar things though the door. Rin pulled her knees to her chest in a corner of the room, her head resting on her knees as she watched the door vibrate, every vulgar word of the Marie's echoing in her mind.
Rin was startled from her thoughts as a buzzing sound filled the air of the bathroom. Her cell phone was getting a call. Rin put the blade down, picking up the black cell phone slowly, her heart racing as she saw the name on the caller ID.
"Hello?" Rin asked once she had answered the phone, her voice thick. Part of Rin was hoping that Sesshomaru would not notice. The other part of Rin wanted him to notice, to ask her what is wrong, and to care.
"What happened?" Sesshomaru asked immediately, a moment of slight silence followed before he said three simple words then hung up. "I'm coming over."
Rin sat in silence for a few moments, trying to comprehend the events that just took place, before she shot up from the floor. Rin fumbled around in the medicine cabinet for the bandages, band-aids, disinfectant spray, and flower scented spray. Rin quickly set all of the items on the ground, and then pulled a box of tissues off the counter before seating herself before the items.
Rin carefully wet a tissue, and then began to wipe the blood from the length of her arm and wrist. After there was no blood left her arm, leaving no trace but the small beads of blood rising, Rin carefully sprayed her wound with the disinfectant spray, wincing at the pain. Rin wondered absently why the disinfectant spray's sting stung worse than the wound. Rin covered cuts with two large band-aids, and then carefully wrapped the bandages around her wrist in a circular motion, tucking the extra piece into the rest. Lastly, Rin lightly sprayed the floral spray into the air above her wrist, letting the spray soak into the bandages lightly.
Rin put the items away hurriedly, pulling down her black hooded jacket's sleeve carefully as she made her way back into her bedroom just as a knocking sounded at her door. Rin slowly made her way to her bedroom door, her hand reaching for the doorknob before she was aware of it. The click of the door unlocking woke her out of her trance. Rin pulled the door open slowly, her gaze firmly on her feet. She could feel Sesshomaru's eyes on her, analyzing every fiber of her being, before he took a step forward.
Rin backed away as he stepped into her bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind himself. Rin's eyes filled with tears as she stood still a moment before she launched herself at the sliver-haired dog demon. Rin hugged him tightly, crying into his chest, hoping that her best friend would hold her. Thankfully, the moment Rin come into contact with him Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her, an action that was becoming more normal as time went by. Rin sobbed into his chest, muttering about her foster mother and the people at school.
"W-why…" Rin whimpered, her voice hoarse, "What d-did I do to b-be hated? W-what did I d-do w-wrong?" Sesshomaru pulled away a bit, tilting her head until her gaze met his.
"You did nothing wrong Rin. Anyone who says otherwise is incompetent. You should not to change for anyone, nor are anyone's opinions needed or matter. No one decides what you are but yourself."
Rin looked into his intense amber eyes, knowing that his words were true but not being able to believe them. Sesshomaru's eyes caught sight of a loose bandage like cloth on the ground, his eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.
Rin took a deep breath, steadying herself for what she was going to do. Rin had the bottle in her hand that is how she had decided to go. Rin did not want to be in pain her last moments, she had been though enough pain throughout her entire life.
Rin pulled out her cell phone, unsure if she should say goodbye and turn her phone off or should she just turn it off and do it. Rin checked the clock, three-thirty a.m., and decided that Sesshomaru would be asleep. Rin sent a quick goodbye message to him then shut her phone off. Rin wondered if he would realize what happened once he reads it.
Rin opened the pill bottle carefully, her hands sure and steady as she thought of what she was about to do. "I'll be gone…." She thought. Rin brought the bottle of sleeping pills to her lips…