Prologue
An ominous voice called through the announcement speaker after a second of crackling
"Cosima Niehaus, please report to the principal's office promptly."
They know.
They know what has happened.
I stood up and made my way out the class. I walked down the hallway with the same two words replaying in my head.
They know.
I didn't tell anyone but somehow they know what has been going on at home. Why else would they call me to the principal's office? I thought that I was doing a good job hiding what was happening. I bathe, I always wear clean clothes. I am always polite to the teachers, I didn't tell my friends, mainly because i don't have any friends but that is beside the point. I don't need friends, I don't have a mother but I don't need her anymore. I don't need anyone. I will be okay, I will do this by myself and the world will see how strong someone can be when they aren't weighed down by others. I tell myself as I push the door open to the office and walk to the principal's door. I hesitantly knock and turn the handle after a hurried Come In from the other side of the door. I have no fear, I walk in and sit in the chair that I have been gestured to sit in.
"Miss Niehaus, something has recently been brought to my attention by some of your teachers."
I know what is coming, Your mother has left you alone, You have no-one. These are not the words that spill out of the principal mouth, instead he says very excitedly
"I have been hearing about how well you are doing in all of your subjects and especially from one teacher, how passionate you are about science." He grins at me as he finishes speaking, looking at me expectantly for some form of confirmation. Well, this is unexpected. I smile back at him, it is true. I love science, any form of science. I am going to be a scientist, if it kills me.
"Well, I have been pointed in the direction of a summer program that takes young students who are enthusiastic about science and what to see what is out there in the world of science. Does this sound like something that you would be interested?"
"Yes, I want to go." I nearly scream at him. I can't contain myself, I almost jump out of the seat.
"Okay, so here is the information sheet and permission form that needs to be signed by a parent or guardian. When that is done, bring it back here and I along with your science teacher will sign it and send it off." He says as he hands me a bundle of sheets and shooing me with his hand, picks up the phone and begins to dial a number.
I walk back to class, happier than before but a bit disappointed. I mean, like nobody has noticed that my mother has been gone for nearly a week. I really don't need anyone. I can do this and I will.
A few days later
I get home from school on Monday and dump my bag into my room like always. I walk into the kitchen to get some food and something is different. Mum is back. She is just sitting at the kitchen table like she normally would when I get back from school. She looks up as I walk in and smiles.
"How was school honey?" She asks as if nothing has changed, like she hadn't disappeared for over a week, leaving her nine-year-old at home alone. No way am I going to leave this alone.
"Where have you been? Did you have a nice vacation from being a mother?" I cross my arms over my chest and stand defiant and strong.
"I just had to get away for a bit, I knew you would be fine. You are so smart, I know you can look after yourself." She said as if trying to justify what she did. I walk away to grab what I came into the kitchen for and scoff at the weak explanation of why she left. I turn to face her.
"Just because I don't need to be watch every second of the day doesn't mean that I know how to look after my self for an undetermined amount of time. Don't think that I will forget what you have done. I don't know what was going through that head of yours, seriously." And I left to my room to do homework, the only thing that is going to help me get anywhere in life since obviously my mother is not going to be any help. I can only rely on me and that is what I am going to have to do.
The relationship was never the same with my mother, we grew more distant and every now and again something would bring us together for some time but we never got any where near what we had before that first departure. She continued to do this go away and come back for maybe three years, sometimes a day, sometimes a week. She came back one time when I was around 12, saying that she was going to have a baby and things would be different. She had a girl and called her Alison, she loved Alison but as soon as Alison starting showing a preference for me, she start to withdraw from us. I was probably 15 when she left the next time, that was complicated. Ali was only 3 and I had school. I would go if mum was around which was often but different days, I managed. I was still top of my class for most subjects but the school was starting to question my absences. Mum came around and I managed to convince her to put Ali in daycare so that mum wouldn't have to take care of her during the day. This made my school life easier when mum was gone on her 'vacations'. The cycle continued this way, the only thing that changed was Alison going to school and me getting a job and this is just how it was for many years until this year.