Cas and Dean lay in the dark, the muted sounds from outside the bunker making it seem like they were in another dimension from the rest of the world.
Castiel lay on his stomach as Dean traced patterns over his back, sighing as the relaxing drag of skin on skin made him feel like he was sinking into the memory foam mattress and blending with it.
Dean snorted, apparently Cas had said that out loud, and Cas just smiled, not opening his eyes as Dean's hand lay flat on his back while Dean tried to muffle his laughter.
"Your brain-to-mouth filter is brilliant."
"Or broken."
"Yeah but I like it that way," Dean's fingers traced over the bumps Cas' spine made down his back and Cas's smile just grew.
Both of them spent a lot of nights like this, despite how much Sam was convinced they were just screwing every night, (see: loved to make lewd comments about their incredibly active sex life to Charlie just to see Dean squirm and Charlie give him grossed out looks) just curled up or sprawled out on Dean's bed. Though calling it Dean's bed wasn't really accurate any more since Cas had basically moved into it too.
Cas' room in the bunker now served as a ready-made guest room for if any one else came by to help with a case and had to stay for a while.
Dean watched Cas' breathing slowly even out and smiled, he ran his eyes over Cas' back and down to where the duvet covered the bottom half of his body. Mostly, Cas had one leg half out of the covers with just his foot tucked under it after his knee poked out.
With a gentle touch Dean began tracing the outlines of the muscles on Cas' back and watched as goosebumps erupted on Cas' skin. For all of his Angelness his body was incredibly human in it's reactions.
Dean suppressed a wave of guilt for being the cause of that, he knew that if he hadn't made Castiel rebel against everything he stood for before him he wouldn't have lost his Grace before, but then again he'd have never got to have Cas like this. Relaxed, peaceful, and safe.
He wouldn't change a thing really.
Dean often marvelled at how they'd got to being here. By all rights they shouldn't have, an Angel and a human was an abomination in every sense of the word according to anyone who you asked; forget a human that had become a demon then got turned back. But Cas? Cas was more than an Angel.
Cas was the thing that had saved Dean, and lost so much by doing so that Dean couldn't ever repay him, and no matter how many times Castiel said he didn't have to, Dean still felt te need to.
That's why he was so gentle, and why they spent more of their time just gently touching, or kissing, and holding each other than they spent frantically fucking. They had enough time for that whenever they wanted. Both of them knew the other wouldn't go anywhere now they were here, it took too much to get here to just throw it all away.
There was too much history.
Too many memories.
Too many feelings.
Too much that the two of them couldn't even begin to list that meant that this was it.
And every bit of pain to get to it was worth it.
Dean sighed contentedly and let his eyes droop slightly, he listened to the deep push and pull of Castiel's breathing and kept the pressure of his fingers even as he traced words into Castiel's skin.
He'd never said them out loud, he didn't even know if he could, but he felt safe doing it like this. With Cas asleep and warm next to him in their shared bed, trusting that the sentiment of the words would keep Cas' nightmares at bay.
Cas had said it many times, he'd breathed it into the space between their lips, he'd gasped it out as he came, he'd said it so casually when Dean did something thoughtful that Dean almost tripped over himself and had smiled like a dope for hours afterwards, not used to hearing those words sincerely, let alone hearing them outside of the bedroom.
Charlie thought it was adorable.
Sam teased him for days.
Dean didn't care what anyone thought or said because he was just so damn happy that he and Cas could have this. Finally.
But he'd still never said it out loud to Cas. He was pretty sure he'd shown it, because that he knows how to do. He'd cooked Cas burgers when he was feeling lost, and he'd held him so gently that Cas had cried one day after they'd found several Angels butchered for some unknown reason.
They still didn't know, but Cas had managed to recover from the shock thanks to Dean's grip.
He'd also proven it with how he prepared Cas. Gently, slowly, and with so much care that it left Cas whimpering and almost begging Dean to just get on with it, but Dean still dragged it out. Kissing every inch of his body and gently stroking over his skin with his hands, mapping the bones and muscles and drawing lines between the moles and freckles on Cas's skin with his tongue until Cas was writing underneath him.
Then so, so gently easing into him, holding Cas' hips in place and not letting him move even though he knew the Angel could overpower him any time he wanted to.
Dean proved it with how slowly he moved in Castiel, making the sensation more intense by how it was dragged out, and accentuated the feeling by kissing Cas within an inch of his life while he did so.
He proved it by how he stroked Cas to orgasm, tightening and releasing his grip in all the right ways that made Cas whimper, his ability to speak long forgotten and replaced by a look of speechless awe as he arched his back and gasped quietly, seemingly unable to make any more noise than that.
He proved it by how he cleaned Cas up afterwards, a warm cloth dragging gently over his skin to remove the cum over his abdomen before Dean quickly wiped any off himself and then settled on top of Cas to kiss him more.
The slow drag of lips earning him pleased sighs as Cas came down from the orgasm and more whimpers when he moved away to lay on his side next to Cas and smile lovingly at him while Cas turned his head to watch Dean get comfortable, all the time with a satiated smile on his face before rolling onto his front because he was more comfortable sleeping that way.
Yeah. Dean was very good at proving how he felt. Just not saying it.
Dean leant forward and kissed Cas gently and chastely, not trying to wake him but just so he could feel the happy sigh that Cas let out before he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes fully.
Castiel stirred a few minutes later, he shuffled closer to Dean and threw an arm across Dean's stomach, resting his head on Dean's chest and nuzzling his nose into Dean's skin.
Dean's arm moved around Castiel's shoulder and he gently ran his hand down Cas' arm before letting it rest on his waist, sighing in happiness as Cas relaxed against his side.
"I love you too," Cas mumbled quietly, almost hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure if he should respond.
Dean froze for a moment, then gulped and relaxed, "I thought you were asleep," he managed to whisper, feeling Castiel snuggle closer to his side.
"I was, for a little bit, but then I drifted awake again and felt you tracing that, sorry."
Dean smiled and kissed the top of Cas' head, "I had to get the guts to say it some day."
"You show it very well, though, you didn't have to say it and I still knew."
Dean smiled and hugged Cas closer, he rolled onto his side and tangled their legs together, looking straight into Cas' eyes as he settled and gently kissed the tip of Cas' nose.
"Good. Because I do."
Cas gave him a soft smile before closing his eyes and sighing again, Dean watched him for a few more moments with a matching smile before twining the hands between their bodies together, closing his eyes and drifting off himself.