Yeah, don't ask me how I came up with this. It just popped up into my head and I wrote it.
So don't blame me if it sucks. This is also my 30th story! So WOO! WOO!
Also, if you CAN get help for self harm please get it. Cause like it says in the poem it becomes like a drug. You need it after a while and if you can get help to stop it, get it. If not hang in there and please try. You have no reason to feel shame for it.
I own nohting alright. So stop asking!
P.S Read bottom for more info on the story.
Go to sleep and rest your eyes, and dream of broken butterflies.
She knew how stuipde it was. But she really didn't care. I mean no one really seemed to or ever did.
She had been found out once. But she didn't get help. It wasn't her who did it. It was her meds. It was her over reacting to things.
Well,acording to her family.
As you rest their wings will take the pain away. Take you to a place where you feel better.
Your dreams should not die here,you should like your face.
But the truth never got out. She did it cause she hated her face. She hated her own reflection to the point of tears.
You could call her pretty all you wanted...she just would say o.k,alright,I guess so...she'd hide it with a smile,cause she didn't belive you.
Be hide those broken eyes, beyond that hidden smile, their lied the person who once was.
The person who should still be, but sadly that person is lost forever. She died so long ago. Die along with all the insults.
Yes,things got better but she just couldn't stop. Every little thing seemed to just go and set her off.
Yes, peopled tyred to help but she didn't need the school counselor,she didn't need the teachers. She didn't need to hear it was her meds. She needed someone to flat out just tell her.... To just listen. No one tyred to figure out why. So she figures no one really cared or took it searsley.
Why wouldn't anyone listen. Why didn't anyone ask. All they did was make things ten times worse. All she wanted was some one to hold her...some one she could tell, "I'm so sorry I slipped up again."
She did stop. She did stop for some time. But she slipped up again. She just couldn't take anger that builed up after that fight. So she grabed her hair and pulled..she took a pen and scratched...she sunk her teeth into her arm.
This helped. She found a new way to get the pain out tonight.
A friend to call. Some one to get help from...why isn't that there for her. When she had been the shoulder to cry on.
Another fight. With someone she loved more than life. No one seemed to take her side. "Why is there never any excuses for me?" She'd think as she fell to her knees.
If someone would just show they cared. If someone would have know that she couldn't stop. Things would be so different. But father time just keeps moving his clock.
She was just the step-child. Her tears,I guess,weren't real. But she hurt like them. She missed him so much. She had to force herself to remember some of the things that she had done with her step-father in life.
But some days she'd forget his voice. Some days she think it was all a dream. Oh, how she longed that it was. She even wished for insanity. So that the death of one of the closes things she had to a father could just be some fucked fantasy.
Why doesn't anyone notice. Notice or ask...if she still wanted too.
Time goes as they say. She had made herself stop,and she found him. He doesn't know it but he healed those wounds and took the pain away.
But the urge would just come. On and off some days. But it got to strong. Her wrist even felt cold. She bite into her arm once more and did it again.
She was hurting all over again.
She could stop some days. But then sister told Mama's sercet. Mama had a new boyfriend. How could she date when it hadn't been a year.
She couldn't take that pain. She had know the day would come but not so soon. She looked over and saw the knife. She took it and scrach herself again. Will maybe it was kinda of a cut.
This time it left marks that didn't got away. She got good at hiding it again.
The urge has never left. Now she just has too. She has a drug. But her the drug is not coke or anything or the sort. Her drug is pain. She needs her cutting knife like a junkie needs his cocaine.
Mindy couldn't couldn't help it. Everyone had fallen asleep. Besides she had wanted this for days and weeks. The new marks where made and so she felt better.
Yes,it hurt but she needed it. It let her hurt out and stopped her urge as well.
Mindy hated herself for it but she knew she wasn't;t going to stop. She had started all over again.
Maybe she could tell a friend tomorrow. But then again they'd just tell on her. And she'd be the crazy girl who cuts her self again.
No one will ever find out her secret she hopes. She knows that this is wrong,she knows that these kind of secrets are just walls that keeps us alone.
Yeah,little story about self harm. I used my own cutting story for it. No I will not say if I still do it but this is how I felt and feel when I went threw it or when i do it. Like I said I'm telling if I still do it.
People if you really know anyone who does hurt themselves,please help them. I can tell you right now not having help or someone to tell is awful and just makes things worse.