Carmel Harmony Chapter 1: Hating You, a mediator fanfic

A/N: this is pretty much what is going on- Jesse left 8 days ago after the whole graveyard thing, and now Suze is at school on the last day before vacation. She is depressed and stuff. After the first scene thing 8 days have passed and Suze has been upset for 14 days total. She has one week to get her life back together and gain her lost weight and stuff……I love makeovers so I had to do it!

Chapter One: Hating You

"Drop it Paul" Paul Slater had just about popped my last nerve. It was hanging by a thread…

"Whoa there Suze! What is it, did Rico Suave like dump you or something."

I don't know where it came from, but one minute Paul had my against the wall and the next he was pushed by someone (or something) against-no into-the opposite wall.

Dad! No, no it couldn't be. He had died, no ghost to be found; and trust me, I looked everywhere I went. Could it be…no, it can't have been. Father D just told me. He was at the rectory. He couldn't be here. But then I looked.

It was Tad Beaumont!

"Dude, leave Suze alone or you will go back to State and be serving 20/20 doing push-ups." I totally didn't get that comment cause I was just so surprised that Tad was here. I thought that he went to live in San Francisco with his Aunt because of his psycho human/vampire dad?

"Tad! Oh my god! You are back!"

"Go, Suze. I'll handle him," Tad said while nodding towards Paul who was squirming like the fish that "fell" out of their tank when I got Tad's dad's study was on fire. It was ALL totally his Uncle's fault though. I have witnesses.

But I couldn't let Tad handle Paul. Sure he was all big and muscular and-

Okay, maybe he could take care of Paul. But whatever. I wasn't in the mood to argue.

"Hey Suze, I don't want you to get hurt. I know you are like Super girl, but Paul is wanted for 8 murders and 9 rapes. Not to mention the 11 robberies, but then his name was Tony Brown."

"Suze, this guy has NO idea what the hell he is saying-"But Paul didn't finish. No way did he finish cause Kelly Prescott just had to choose that moment-where I was very interested in this Tony Brown dude-to come out and go, in this really high and squeaky voice, "Who are you!" Trés chic, I'd say.

And then I saw who she was talking to. And I saw her eyes widen as she looked down his body and see his obvious six-pack defined by his semi-tight black sweater. And then he spoke. To me, when at that moment I wanted nothing to do with the heart-breaking cowboy.

"Sussannah, I need to speak with you," Jesse said. "I have a surprise for you." I had it! Who did these people think that they were? NO ONE can play with Suze Simons head like that! NO ONE! Do they think that I have no dignity, no pride at all! That's why I said the first thing that popped into my head, and it was just my little surprise to this "new Jesse."

"Jesse, why don't you take that surprise and shove it up your-"

"OH MY GOD, Suze! We need to talk! Do you know how far behind we are in the election!"

And then EVERYONE started screaming my name, Kelly because she wanted me to introduce her to Jesse, who looked totally sexy in black jeans and his black sweater (and where did he get those clothes from anyway!) – not that I cared, because I totally didn't- Tad because he wanted me to go out with him on Saturday, Paul because he didn't want me to go out with Tad, Father Dominic because he wanted me in his office "Immediately!", Dopey because he wanted to remind me that I couldn't go because Mom was grounding me for doing some other thing that I don't remember, and, well, you get the picture.

So you can imagine how overwhelmed I was by just everything that had gone on in the past week-the whole thing at Paul's, Craig's case, Jesse and the rectory, my feet dying, this, and just my whole LIFE- that I just bolted out of these, leaving everyone thinking I was still in the middle of the crowd.

I ran to the only place I could go- to the graveyard. There I sat on the bed of my favorite flowers that Father D got put there around this ebony bench. But I didn't cry. I had cried enough for the past weeks; about Jesse, lessons with Paul, Father D sending me to a psychiatrist, and now my psycho school. So ya, I couldn't cry at all really. My eyes were dried out, never to be refilled because I was never going to mess up and fall in love ever again. Never.

All I did was sing softly and fall asleep on the sweet scents that I could barely recognize, because of all the saddening things that had been going on in my life.

Yet in the back of my mind, all I wanted was for Jesse to come and comfort me until all was better-

-all was better…

Jesse's POV

I helplessly watched Sussannah scream at all of the commotion going on around her. I again watched her helplessly as she sang in a shaky, but beautiful voice. You could tell that she was holding back many tears, and it took all of my strength to not go running to her, hold her, and comfort her until she was back to her silly, bubbly self.

But I knew better. She would only yell at me for things I knew were entirely my fault. I watched her cry herself to sleep for the last 6 nights. I could only hope that when she was healthy and happy she would come around to talk to me…

…for I had much to tell.

Suze's POV

He didn't come back to close my window that night. Or the next. Or the one after that. No, Jesse would never come back. I know that this would be the end of our rendezvous, as fun as they could be (ya right).

Jesse and I were over. In fact we had never begun. To say that I was pissed would be an understatement.

Yet I still cried my self to sleep when I thought that I was better. I still screamed at night, only to awake in my mother's arms, shushing me until I would fall asleep again. Only to scream some more.

But exactly 8 days after Jesse and I had our little sentence long "reunion", I woke up after a night devoid of crying and screaming. I went to my full-length mirror and what I saw was only to be expected, but horrific.

A girl who was thin, pale, bony, and sad looked back at me. But in her eyes was hate. Something that no one should experience. Good thing that we had two weeks off when I went anorexic.

But I had. I went through hell because of a stupid cowboy ghost who only cared about himself. He was out of my life now, though, so I had to move on. Live on.

I went downstairs after what seemed like centuries, and sense no one was up, I went to the fridge and cooked up some breakfast. Yumm…..bacon and eggs!

"Suze, what are you doing down here? I mean its fine that you're here but, I just, I haven't seen you in, like, ages. Since school ended, actually." Brad had taken to being nice to me since the whole school thing. I hadn't seen Tad at all yet, but Brad said that he came by a lot to see me. I was always "out".

"Ya, well, you know me…always surprising you," I put my breakfast on a plate and walked over to the couch that Brad was sitting on and sat on the opposite end, leaning on the arm rest.

Brad dropped his plate when I sat down and he looked at me, in the eyes. He gasped. "Suze, what has happened to you? Was it that Jesse guy that was always in your room, cause I swear, me and Jake will kill him if it was!"

I flashed Dopey a shut-up-and-leave-me-alone look. It worked well enough. Then Jake walked in. "Brad, Suze." He saluted us. "Suze! What is wrong with you! You look so mad-okay I'll shut up now. Hang on-was it that Jesse guy who was always in your room, cause I swear-"

"Why don't you two leave me alone? It was Jesse, okay! But I'm fine now. Anyways, he's as good as dead by now. Can we just drop the subject!" I said, piercing them with a you'd-better-say-yes look. Sleepy and Dopey both held their hands up in surrender.

" Okay, but Mom and Dad are out tonight, so we can either stay home or I can drop you off somewhere. I just left David at his friend Mike's house. Do you two want to go anywhere?"Jake offered. Both of them were being extra nice to me by now, probably because they thought I was still a fragile little girl.

But now I was different. I was stronger.

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd dispise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'Cause you made that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you, thinking that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't called your bluff, time is up
'cause I'e Had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Couse your greed sold me out in shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do,
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming,
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I'd realized your game
I heard you're going round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave(A/N: grave lol!), uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes your wanting to HURT me
But that won't work anymore, uh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'cause it

(Chorus)
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU WON'T STOP ME

I am a fighter and I (fighter and I)
I ain't gon stop
There is no turning back
I'VE HAD ENOUGH

Thought I would forget but I
I remember
Yes, I remember
I'll remember

A/N: it kinda really sux, cause I'm bad at writing in the characters lingo (I did Suze kinda bad, but I'm trying to make her sound less fun and uppety and happy and bubbly and stuff)….hope you all like it…..read and review!

Otherwise I won't post the next chappy (I need 3 reviews atleast!)

Tad will have a bigger part o promise, but I might make something happen...and I never plan what I write I just let my fingers becum alive and dance along the keyboard and then I read it and I'm like "whoa…..this sux. I think I need a manicure"…..Suze WILL SURVIVE!

Hope u luv it! R/R: )

Luv Jesse'sDevil teeheehee!u know u love me!