Author's Note: Hello, world. Once again, this is The Epitome of Eccentricity. You may know me for my extremely short parodies that I write. For once, this isn't a parody. I'm taking a step out of the norm to write something a bit different. I've only seen two stories ever that resemble this, those being Chuunin Exam Day and Time Braid. While I don't have any respect for CED, I love the concept. Thus, this story is born. You'll be following the life of some poor, hapless Leaf Gennin as his life is changed forever. No, he's not a self-insert, nor is he powerful. He's actually quite weak... Right now, anyway. Of course, he'll gain power, but this story is mainly about learning about one's self and the journey of a young man as he tries to understand the world around him, or maybe it'll just be about a kid kicking ass and taking names... Who knows? This first chapter is in 1st person, but I'll be doing 3rd person afterwards.

Thus, I give you...

The Epitome of Eccentricity presents...

The Eternal Exam

I hate my team.

Those words are the first to enter my mind as I stand sullenly in the room that the first exam is to take place in. I look to my left to spot the female member of my team, such as it is, Misami Tagochi. Her cropped, black hair tops her angry head. Angry, from the eternal scowl that makes up her countenance. Her green eyes are narrowed, her lips upturned just slightly in a pouting snarl. Her arms are crossed across her flat chest. Today, she is wearing a long-sleeved plain black turtle-neck. She never really cared for fashion, being a tom-boy more focused on her career than her looks. Her plain black pants are tapped at the bottom, revealing her black shinobi sandals. Her foot is tapping impatiently as she waits for the exam to start. The light in the room reflects off her hitai-ate, causing me to blink sudden tears from my eyes as I look away from the flash of reflecting light.

My gaze takes me to my right, instead. There, I see my male teammate if you can even call him that. He is taller than either of us by a whole head, with Misami being the same height as me. This guy's name is Akuto Barashi. Akuto's shiny black hair is held in a ponytail braided right down his back to his waist. He must have spent hours on it, I figure. Then again, he needed to, with his fighting style and all... Still, his coal-colored eyes stared dully at the ceiling. He is as bored as I am. Hopefully, he doesn't start anything with me. His forest-green gloved hands tapped some sort of beat as his finger undulated impatiently on his leg. His brown shirt had no sleeves, showing off his muscles, which are better developed than usual for one his age- much better than mine, at any rate. His brown shorts cut off at his knees, showing his tanned legs off and his... bare feet. Once again, it seems Akuto forgot to wear shoes. I shouldn't be surprised, really. He always hated wearing shoes. He caught me staring, and flashed me a cruel grin.

"What's the matter, Nakago-chan? See something you like?" He cajoled, once again insinuating that I might be gay.

I closed my eyes, ignoring him in favor for taking inventory of myself, missing the glare he sent my way when he realized I is going to ignore him. Let's see... I have spiky, matted brown hair. My headband kept it from my eye. Yes- eye. My left one is a plain brown color. As for my right eye? There is nothing but a gaping hole. The empty socket usually unnerved people who looked at me, and left me with less friends than most people. I didn't care, though, it is a reminder of how pathetic I used to be. It is a reminder of my failure. I'm wearing a gray jacket, unzipped to show my plain white shirt. Nothing fancy there at all. My pants held plenty of pockets for various supplies, and are a dark cargo type. My shinobi sandals are black. My height is pretty much average. Though why I was thinking about myself like this, I really don't know. It's kind of weird.

Ignoring my team mates now, I looked around the room. There were so many shinobi here, I wondered just how would I ever pass! Just then, another team entered the room. It was some short kids from my village. They looked like they had just graduated, judging my their expressions. I frowned, thinking about the presence of Rookies in the exam. The three were joined by six more, obviously the other two teams from their graduation group. Three rookie teams in the exam at the same time. Either their sensei's hated them, or they were powerful. I spotted what seemed to be an Inuzuka, a Hyuuga and an Aburame together. Also over there was some fat kid that had to be an Akamichi, a skinny, dark-haired child who had the air of a Nara around him, and some blonde who was obviously a Yamanaka. They would likely be a tough team, being very balanced. Finally, there was some blond haired shrimp who might be a Yamanaka, but judging by the other blonde, he wasn't, a pink haired girl who, judging by her looks, didn't train much, and some dark haired kid with a fan-crest on his clothes. I squinted my eye, trying to place his clan, before it widened as I placed him as an Uchiha. Frowning softly, I marked that team off as well. The rookies weren't to be messed with, it seemed.

There was a little bit of commotion after that, but I ignored it, having no more interest of the going on's over there. Then, the instructors showed up. Finally, the exams would begin! "Alright, there will be no fighting in this exam! So settle down, shut up, and take a seat while I explain the exam!" Well, there was no arguing with that, I figured as I took a seat in the middle of the room, closer to the back. I spotted Akuto near the front, and Misami was off to my left somewhere. I looked to the front, ignoring the Chuunin lining the walls with their clipboards, my left hand running over the number '255' on my desk. The man in front was glaring out at everyone, his face scarred, with a bandana covering his head. Glaring, he shouted,

"Listen up, brats! This is the first stage of the Chuunin Exams! There will be no questions at all, so listen well. The exam in front of you has nine questions. You have 45 minutes to answer them. For each question you miss, you lose one point. If you are caught cheating, you lose two points. This is a team effort, so if you fail, your entire team fails! After 45 minutes, I will offer you all that remain the final question."

Suddenly, a mist gennin raised his hand, pushing up his glasses as he tried to ask a question, before Ibiki's voice overwhelmed him, "Number 126, you fail for trying to ask a question! Take your team mates and get the fuck out of here!" The now crying Mist ninja ran out of the room, his team mates complaining as they left as well. Then, everything was quiet.

"BEGIN!" With that, the first exam had started.

Turning over my paper, I stared hard at the first question. I blinked, trying to see if this was for real. It... was just too difficult for most people. What kind of question asks 'If you are standing on a tree 50 meters high, that is three feet in width, but on a branch only 20 feet in the air, what is the degree you would throw a standard kunai at an enemy ninja 80 meters down the road, with the wind blowing at 10 miles per hour?' Seriously, that was impossible for me to figure out. The other questions were no better, really. I might be able to figure out one or two of them, but that was it.

With a sigh, I looked up and around to see how my team mates were doing. Misami, I could tell, was filling out the questions using her natural intelligence. She didn't need any help at all. That girl was already smart enough. Further down, I saw Akuto pull a small hair off his face, and watch it float away to someone's desk. With a smile, Akuto then filled out the answers on his sheet. I frowned, not having any kind of ninjutsu or ability that allowed me to gather information on my own like that. I just had to hope my answers were right.

Eventually, the 45 minutes passed, and Ibiki yelled out, "Alright, brats, put your pencils down! It's time for the final question!" He grinned darkly, a shadow crossing across his face. "This tenth question is very important. So important, in fact, that I'm giving you the choice to take it or not." There was a lot of scattered murmuring at that. I only frowned. "If you take the question, but get it wrong, you will never take another Chuunin exam again!" There were startled gasps now, "But if you don't take it, you can just try again in six months, with a different proctor." He grinned and leaned back in his chair, watching the students struggling to decide. One after one, teams of Gennin gave up, streaming out of the room until one of the rookies, the blond kid, slammed his hand on his desk, the loud crack silencing the room.

"I don't care if I'm going to be a Gennin forever! I'll still become Hokage anyway, because I don't give up! That's my ninja way!" I couldn't see his face, but his very words seemed to inspire everyone in the room. No one else gave up. I smiled to myself, further feeling that I could do this right. The kid's words inspired me, alright.

"If that's so, then everyone left- Passes!" Wow, that... That was a surprise. I didn't know how to react! I had passed the first exam! A smile wormed it's way onto my face, growing wider and wider. I had passed!

"Then what were the first nine questions for?" yelled out a girl from Sunagakure.

"They were to see if you could cheat properly, and make it through a struggle." He then went into an explanation about being a Chuunin, and never giving up, before showing us his... head. That was really gross. I blanched, and before anything could happen, the window shattered, something... or someone flying through it. It turned out to be a purple-haired woman in very... revealing clothes. So much was going on at once, I wondered just how would I ever manage to understand or comprehend it all!

"Listen up maggots! There's no time to celebrate- I am the sexy and single proctor of the second exam- Anko Mitirashi!" There was even a banner exclaiming her title. Single, huh? I shook my head, clearing it of any hormones. We were now supposed to meet her at training ground no. 44- the Forest of Death. Oh great! And what was that about cutting us in half?

After that, everyone swiftly cleared out of the classroom, sticking with their teams as the group of Chuunin-to-be's made their way to what us Konoha ninja affectionately called the Forest of Death. It was a massive, gated forest filled with terrible man-eating animals and plants. That venus fly-trap you keep in your home? Yea, Konoha has some of those in there, except to them, YOU are the fly.

After everyone made it to the front gates of the massive green death trap, we were handed out various sheets of paper. These papers were waivers, lifting Konoha of any legal rights if we were to... die. We could DIE in this exam!? I stared at the paper I was holding in horror. Yea, I wanted to be a Chuunin of Konoha, but I didn't want to die. Looking around at the other teams, I made mental marks of who to avoid if possible. I refused to die here. I just wanted to make Chuunin and get off this terrible team. They hated me and I hated them.

After exchanging our paperwork for an Earth Scroll, we waited impatiently at the gate. Out gate number happened to be Gate #62. I stood there, my arms crossed against my chest as I ignored my teammates. They had long since given up on pestering me, and we all stood there sullen and angry. Suddenly, the doors opened, and it was time. Misami fingered the scroll in her pouch, and Akuto grinned savagely as we rushed in.

The Second Stage of the Chuunin Exams had finally begun.

Just a few minutes in, we all heard some screaming in the distance. Akuto laughed at the sound, stamping his bare feet on the earth floor in excitement. "Oh, this is great! We've just started and someone's already kicked the bucket! I guess I can start planning now..." With that, he plucked a few hairs from his head without a single wince, and imbued them with chakra. With the grin still on his face, he blew on them, sending the hairs out into the world. Somehow, they began to multiply. Blinking, I figured it must have been part of the jutsu, and not some sort of optical illusion. I vaguely recalled seeing some older ninja multiplying their weapons before, so I guessed it was possible.

Moving my head so that I could see her better, I then focused on what Misami was up to. She had taken time to mark an interesting little pattern on one of the trees nearby. I recognized this from her usual strategy on C-ranked missions. She would make a detailed pattern on a tree, something she would readily see, but not others, then on the next tree, make the same pattern, but with one detail missing. When she was down to nothing left, she would make another pattern again and restart the process. It was her way of keeping track of where we were in case we accidentally looped around again. She could easily keep a mental map of everywhere we had been. I may have hated the girl, but she was certainly a genius. I wouldn't be able to do that.

She turned around a sneered at me, her plain face scrunched up in disgust with me. "And what are you doing to help, Yaiba?" She snarled, addressing me by my last name. I just stared at her, crossing my arms against my chest defensively.

"If we're attacked, I'm here to patch us up. You know that, Misami..." I replied, trailing off uncertainly. It was true, of course, but I hated how weak I sounded. She just snorted in disgust, Akuto laughing as well as we carried along, stopping here and there for them to do their own thing.

Then, just as suddenly as it was calm, everything suddenly went bad.

"Sand Coffin." A thin, raspy voice intoned from the distance. Waves of sand shot out around us, our vision filled with the grains that looked how the voice sounded. Thin, grainy and rough. It grated against us, filling our pores and wrapped around our bodies. I had been saving this jutsu as a surprise, wanting to impress my teammates in the foolish hope that they would begin to like me, but now was the time to use it.

A blue blade extended from my left hand, cutting away sand and dislodging it from my flesh. With a few short swipes, I was free, jumping back away from the madness. The chakra scalpel then vanished as it had outlived it's purpose. I couldn't just keep it up all the time, after all. It took a lot of chakra to keep a physical manifestation of chakra outside of my body. Scalpels took fine chakra control in shape manipulation to even create, much less without hand seals like I had. It was my only offensive jutsu.

"Sand Burial." And with that, my two teammates, Akuto and Misami, the two being I loathed with all my heart, and yet had been working alongside of for nearly a year had died. For the first time in my life, I wanted them to be here. I wanted to hug them, to love them and be their friend. Their blood splattered everywhere as the sand crushed them. I could feel it dripping down my face, my eye wide open with a soundless shriek escaping me. I was terrified, I was in awe I was...

"Sand Burial."

I was dead.