Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Uzumaki Uzumaki opened both eyes, huffed, shook his fists in the air violently, and cursed the fact that we was literally unable to sleep past dawn. He sat up in bed and wondered why he bothered owning an alarm clock.
Scanning the blurry amalgamation of shapes that was currently his bedroom, he reflexively reached to the night stand and directed his hand in fuddled movements to find his glasses. After his fingers slid their way on top of them, he pulled them to his person and used both hands to unfold. After silently completing his complaint ritual about the entire six a.m. business, he got out of bed and made his way downstairs to find breakfast. Uzumaki Uzumaki groaned out loud when he realized that there was no microwavable ramen left in the cupboards. Unfortunately, that was the least of his problems.
If someone had decided to be sadistic that day and make a list of all the above mentioned youth's problems, the list would start with his name.
Uzumaki Uzumaki, in fact, had the same first and last name. It was the name of his father, who (after a number of arguments with the youth's mother about naming the child) decided that it would be a good idea to write the double name on the birth certificate while his wife was unconscious from labor pain medication. Incidentally, his father was well known not for his good ideas, but his stubbornness. That same stubbornness is the only thing that kept the youth's name from being changed by his mother. Eventually, after the longest of arguments about the child's name to date, she gave up. The youth's father once told him that her last words on the subject were, "Fine! If you want our son to be miserable for the rest of his life because you thought it would be fun to give him a horribly ridiculous name, be my guest." In truth, Uzumaki Uzumaki did not mind his name so much. He was far from the days of the academy and incessant name calling, as well as the special angry look his father got from whenever teasing about the double name came up.
Next on that list would be his parents. This isn't to say that his parents were neglecting or abusive; the truth was quite the opposite. His mother was very loving and sweet. She was incredibly supportive of her son in all endeavors and always made time for him, despite her busy schedule. His father was also extremely encouraging. While his position demanded him much more than his wife, he always devoted as much time as possible to his son and to being a good father. He set an excellent example for his son and tried to teach him as much as possible, though what he taught his son was not always appreciated by his wife. It would be true to say that the youth love and adored his mother and respected and admired his father. The problem with his parents was not so much who they were as people as much as who they were as ninja that created a reasonable amount of tension and pressure for the youth.
His mother was the top medical ninja in the village (and possibly the world). She ran the village's hospital and other medical research facilities with brilliant efficiency and leadership. She was also one of the most well known and feared female ninja in existence, coupling near legendary chakra control with colossal physical strength and medical jutsu to develop powers that surpassed even her mentor, the fifth Hokage.
His father was even better known with a list of aliases and rumors about his persona and power that stretched from Hidden Village of Rock to the Hidden Village of Mist. He held one of the most impressive ANBU records to date, racking up an astounding number of kills and missions. It was also during his ANBU career that his ferociousness on the battlefield when defending team mates and his white mask with angular kitsune features earned him the title: "Fox King". In the Hidden Village of Sand he was admired for his courage in keeping close ties with their fearsome Kazekage, Gaara of the Sand. Elsewhere he was called "The Red Fox" for his uniquely explosive chakra or the "Kage Bunshin Master" for his constant and revolutionizing use of the technique. Within Konoha, the Hidden Village of the Leaf, he was simply referred to as Hokage. On some occasions, was also called "the biggest idiot in the world", but only his wife called him that.
Moving back to the subject of that list, the identity of Uzumaki's parents was only the premise of a much more prevalent problem: the fact that he was the number one rookie in the village. Uzumaki had seemed to have had first pick of the gene pool, as he inherited his mother's amazing ability to delicately control and capably conserve chakra along with his father's seemingly endless chakra capacity and physical stamina. That combination made him a hypothetical candidate to learn and effectively use any jutsu in existence. It was the same combination that had peaked the interest of a certain Leaf village traitor who'd grasped the secrets of immortality and conceived another event to add to Uzumaki's list of unfortunate occurrences.
When Uzumaki was three years old, the Sound Village agent Yakushi Kabuto kidnapped the child for his leader, Orochimaru. Despite his intense grief and rage, Uzumaki's father was not able to go after him due to his position as Hokage. With a literally fuming hand, he summoned a team of high ranking ninja to retrieve his son. The team consisted of Jounins Hayate Kakashi, Shiranui Genma, Yuuhi Kurenai, and Maito Gai. The mission was, thankfully, a success and the child was retrieved. Regardless, Hayate Kakashi was dismayed when he was unable to conclude his long standing rivalry with Yakushi Kabuto, who seemed to have made a career out of escaping the famous Copy Ninja.
The kidnapping set the stage for the next item on Uzumaki's list: his adopted mannerisms. The entire kidnapping event was rather traumatic for the child, and the only way Uzumaki managed to cope was to repress the entire ordeal. The memories however, haunted his subconscious, in form of the obsessive mannerism he learned during the event: his constant habit of slowly pushing his glasses up his face that sent chills down the spine of anyone who had the displeasure of meeting the mannerism's source.
After standing in disappointed silence for a few minutes due to the lack of ramen, Uzumaki resolved to get something to eat on the go. He went back up to his room and checked his clock. It was 6:15. After dressing his lanky figure in khaki shorts and a black t-shirt, he pulled on an orange nylon jacket, leaving it open to contrast colors. He walked over to a small armoire, opened its cherry wood doors and pulled out a rectangular shuriken holster which he strapped to his right leg; and three pouches full of weapons, soldier pills, and explosive tags which he attached to his belt on his back. He draped his open jacket over the pouches on his waist to conceal them and then turned back to the armoire. Uzumaki grabbed his head band and pulled out its material, tying its blue material over the top of his head. That style of wearing his head band concealed most of Uzumaki's straight strawberry blond hair, with the exception of two thick, long, bangs that he let border his face down to his jaw. He surveyed his features with lazy, bright, blue, eyes wishing he'd adopted a few more masculine features from his father as his pale complexion and small nose didn't reverberate manliness. He also suspected that his forehead was larger than normal, and felt rather self conscious about most of his features. That day, however, his ritualistic fretting about his appearance was cut short by the contrast of color he saw on the sides of his face that day. What looked like dark lines were starting from the top of his cheek bones. Mysteriously as they had appeared, the dark lines seemed to recede back into non-existence in the time it took Uzumaki to blink questionably at them. Dismissing the thought of some type of symmetrical three line break out of acne in an attempt to keep the morning's anxiety level at a minimum, he pulled on two wristbands from his armoire and readjusted the thin needles that were carefully placed within the material. Uzumaki moved toward his window, breathed in a comforting rush of morning air, and decided he was looking forward to meeting with his team mates that day. Eager, Uzumaki Uzumaki launched himself into the leaf filled sky.
Uzumaki Naruto quickly made the jump between sleep and full consciousness. He rarely spent seconds drifting into awareness or stretching before he was awake. This ability was an essential in the field. His ability to sleep without jeopardizing a mission was another of the many things that separated the seventh Hokage from the dead.
He was, of course, in little danger in the comfort of his own bed. While he often questioned the seriousness of his wife's threats to smother him in his sleep, he was sure she'd never bother. He liked to believe that if his genius spouse were out to kill him, she'd pull it off in a much stealthier, impressive, and less traceable fashion. Opening one eye, he peered to his left and found his wife sitting up in bed, quietly engrossed in a book. It was the same mystery novel he had mentioned a week ago, and as far as he could tell she was about half way through. We was tempted to ask about the events of her current place in the book, but his penchant for speaking too far into the future about the novel's events got him into trouble. He kept his mouth shut.
Sitting up, he mumbled a cheerful good morning to his spouse. After waiting for a hum of acknowledgement, he stood and strolled into the bathroom. At the sink, he turned on the cold water to splash his face. From the bedroom, he heard his wife call out: "Uzumaki left already." "Oh," he responded, turning to face his spouse. With the door open, there was a beeline between the sink in the bathroom and his wife's location. "I thought he'd at least stay for breakfast," Naruto mused. "We're out of ramen," responded his wife. Her eyes never left her novel as she continued to speak, "This really is a good book. Thank you for suggesting it." "Sure," Naruto said as he turned his face back to the mirror. "Have you gotten to the part where they find out that the killer is Officer Asuma?" As soon as those words left Naruto's mouth, he suspected his own err.
The dense feeling of negative emotion streaming from his wife's direction, however, confirmed it.
Thanks to a combination of ninja reflexives and an encyclopedic knowledge of his wife habits, Naruto knew the book was coming. Gracefully lowering to one knee, he swiftly shot up his long right arm to catch the spinning novel. He stood, resisting the urge to shake his catching hand. It stung like mad and he rationalized that his spouse must have enjoying the book a lot to account for how hard she threw it. He silently groaned at how much his head would have stung had he been hit, and turned back to look at his wife.
Uzumaki Sakura sat in a light, but noticeable huff and stared toward the window. She was obviously upset at her husband's talent for ruining a good book. "Oh," said the husband in question as he pulled the book open to her marked page, "You're only in chapter 12." Naruto winced as he came to terms with a familiar situation. He slowly slid to his wife's side preparing for requisite damage control and the "sorry", hugs, and kisses they both expected.