A/N: Well I was bored and this came out of it. Enjoy!

4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey

"Goodnight Hedwig" The snowy owl hooted softly, and Harry Potter fell asleep for the night.

I wake up with a start. My heart pounding, a drumming in my ears, from the god-awful nightmare. Why was it always like this? What did I do to make fate hate me so much that even in my dreams I wasn't safe? Whatever it was I don't regret a damn thing, that vengeful bitch got what she deserved!

"Potter! Get down here and start making breakfast!" Aunt Petunia yelled from down stairs. I don't even bother answering, why should I? I would only get in trouble for yelling in the house.

The only thing she cared about was that fat son of her's, Dudley, got to stuff his face with food. He did an amazing job of imitating a starved pig. Entertaining... in a morbid sort of way.

"Boy!" Her voice had gotten shriller, a clear warning to come down now. I sighed sitting up on the edge of the 'bed', if you could call it that, the thing was more like a torture device. All springs, to much bounce not enough cushion. I got up and walked towards the door, glancing out the window to the right. I paused, only for a moment, thinking of Hedwig. She was with the Weasley's, since Vernon was likely to kill her if she made a sound.

I scowl, fuckers.

I open my door which is miraculously unlocked! Yay. I start down the stairs with all the bubbling joy I could possibly feel, which usually means that I'm one step away from becoming a total arse. Not to say that I'm not one already ( according to Hermione anyway.)

"Hello Aunt Petunia!" I say cheerfully, smiling all the way. Cause you know how the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served with a smile. She completely ignored me, not even a grunt. I'm calling BS to that saying.

Maybe I'll try 'Happiness is the best revenge' later. I'm tired of trying right now. Though I will keep on the cheerful facade, if only to spite myself.

The whole worlds against me, why don't I just help it along, and add my name to the list!

I go over to the stove to start making breakfast. " That freak! I will not tolerate this!" Aunt petunia mumbled to herself, glaring in the general direction of my room. I looked over at her in bewilderment.

"Aunt Petunia, I'm right here" It came out a bit sarcastic, and would prolly get me into heaps of trouble for 'backchat'. Ah well.

"Vernon!" The horse like woman shrieked. "That Freak is not coming down!"

Now I am completely bewildered, WTF! I step around her and wave my hand in front of her face. There's the muffled curses and threats coming from Vernon, as he fumbles with the locks to my room.

"Huh, so you can't see me. Or hear me.." I feel a slight smile come over my face. "Well then, I have a few things to say to you, you horse faced bitch! Never fuck with the kid who's blood is protecting your sorry ass!"

I would have went on to say more colorful things, however I was interrupted.

A worried look passed over Petunias face "Vernon!" she called out shakily. There was no reply, in fact I hadn't heard a peep from that direction since the start of my little rant.

Aunt Petunia made a move toward the stairs, I myself was curious, and if I am honest a bit scared, so I followed her.

I got impatient and a little nervous, I ran ahead.

Not the best decision.

For lo, there was a duplicate of me strangling Vernon to death. Looks like he had already passed out. I'm actually surprised that this other me had managed to wrap his fingers around all Vernons chins, no small feat.

I hear a small gasp behind me, I turn to see Petunia standing there with a horrified expression on her face. It makes me uncomfortable, cause while she's not the best person by a long shot, she is still my aunt.

I turn back around and walk forward to try and stop the doppelganger. I raise my hand in front of his face, "Er... stop?" Huh, that didn't come out like I wanted it to.

"Er...stop?" The little asshole mimics me, smirking a smirk worthy of a Malfoy.

It's a creepy experience. "Look, I know he's not the best person but..." I pause, there's really no redeeming quality to him, "well I'll just leave you to it!" I start to walk away.

"Hmm so the golden boy of Gryffindor has gone evil." I swear this guy has to get his priorities straight, first he chokes Vernon pretty much to death, then he goes and declares I'm evil! Jeez, and I thought I had problems.

"What would be the point in helping him if he is already dead?" Ha! Take that!

"He's not, yet anyway, you could still save him." I've noticed in the background of our little chat, Aunt Petunia is freaking the fuck out. She really needs to take a chill pill.

As if reading my mind, which now that I think of it there is the possibility, he stuns her with a stupefy.

While he's doing that I am frantically running through my thoughts for an excu-cough- reason for not saving the whale.

"Well?" He asks turning back to me.

"How can you see and hear me?" Phew, quick save.

"You're avoiding the question." He states, his smirk getting wider, colder. Damn, that was a fail.

I sigh, seems I'm gonna have to save Vernon Dursley, no matter how unappealing that idea is to me. Well how to take out other me. I bow my head "I..." stalling, best thing ever. To bad this guy wasn't like Snake Face, he'll go on and on talking you to death before actually trying to kill you.

Looks like I'm gonna have to resort to physical violence, great.

"Well?" Jeez, he's like a freakin broken record 'wellwellwellwell' yick.

I tackle him to the ground, or at least that was the plan. Went straight through the mofo, damn. My reflection has a blank look on his face as he turns to look at me. He holds it, fucking creepy. Then he grins, ok go back to that blank face, go on, the new look doesn't suit you.

"Hmm, you're rather rude," He's gone back to smirking, yay, "First you invade my personal bubble, then you avoid a simple question" There's something creepy about getting reprimanded by yourself, " and now you jump through me! What next?"

I'ma startin to think this guy is insane. Maybe I am too, maybe this is some hallucination, or even- "This isn't a hallucination" he says in a nonchalant manner. Fuck, the fucking fucker can read my mind!

"Uhhm..." think, think, think... wait don't think. Crap this whole not being safe in my own mind is starting to get to me.

"I don't appreciate your insulting me either," He says looking at his nails, " it's rude." He lets go of Vernons throat, "I'm bored, you want to play a game?"

"Sure?" Okaaaay.

"That sounded more like a question than an answer" He says menacingly, taking a step forward.

"Yes, yes I would love to" I say with the biggest smile I can conjure up.

"Good, lets play Yahtzee."

With a start Harry Potter woke up to hear his aunt screeching for him to come down. For a brief moment Harry wished that the dream had been real.

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