This story will mostly take place in place of the Goblet of Fire. So, the events of the first three books still happened as they happened in the books unless otherwise noted. However, the first chapter is a flashback/intro of sorts to set things up. Hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own no one. They all belong to J.K. Rowling, whom I will never be able to even hold a candle to (although I am still bitter about certain deaths in the series.) The song for the title of the story and this chapter belongs to Everclear and the ending song belongs to Bob Dylan.
So please, no one sue. I'm a poor college student and if any less money means I don't eat.
November, 1980
The motorcycle engine roared against the otherwise quiet night sky as Sirius Black made his journey home. Having just left an Order of the Phoenix meeting, his eyes were drooping slightly as he yawned in the night air. He had always been one for adventure and excitement, diving headfirst into a situation if he thought it was the right thing to do, or even just the fun thing to do, so when the Order had first formed, he was one of the first to sign his name on the list. It sounded exactly like his kind of gig. It was slightly unorganized and extremely dangerous, but the part of him that still felt like a young boy from Hogwarts was screaming for a new adventure, while the man he had become knew that this was of the utmost importance, not just for him, but for his family and friends.
Of course, it only encouraged him that Remus, James, and Peter had signed up as quickly as he had. The Marauders had to stick together, it was all or none as far as he was concerned and he was not about to let his best friends go toe to toe with Voldemort while he sat on the sidelines.
Yet, part of him still felt guilty. He was a man now; a man with responsibilities and obligations that he felt sometimes took a backseat to the Order, which was absolutely unacceptable. He sighed, hoping that the reign of terror Voldemort was currently creating would soon die out so that he and his loved ones could have somewhat normal lives.
As he neared his home, he glanced at his watch, sighing as he saw how late it was, before looking up. When he did, the green light he saw illuminating the night sky was undeniable.
"Huh?"
He looked closer, and, as his eyes focused, his heart dropped into his stomach and a shiver ran through his body.
"No." He muttered. "No, no no no no no."
There, above his house, was the Dark Mark.
Increasing the speed, Sirius made it above his house then sent the bike into a dangerous dive, not caring as the ground rushed toward him at an alarming rate, glad, not for the first time, that his house lay in a fairly secluded area. He landed the bike half-hazardly, jumping off and pushing it aside, uncaring that it crashed to the ground as he took off in a dead sprint, wand at the ready, yelling along the way.
"Addison! Addison!" He threw open the door and frantically looked around, running along the trashed first floor of the house, flinging doors open with such force they bounced against the walls. Through the foyer, living room, dinning room, and finally, the kitchen.
Furniture was overturned, pictures had been ripped off the wall. Lamps laid shattered on the floor. The home that Addison had spent over a year decorating and making more "homely" was in shambles. Personal belongings littered the floor, giving off the impression that a tornado had ripped through the home, and, in effect, to the very fiber of Sirius' being. His worry, however, wasn't the house, or his belongs, but rather the only two things in the home that really matter to him.
He turned to stone when his eyes took in the scene in front of him. There, motionless on the floor, was his wife. Her blonde hair lay in all different directions as her now unseeing grey eyes looked toward the ceiling.
"ADDISON!"
He fell to his knees, gathering her in his arms, shaking her gently in an attempt to wake her, not allowing himself to believe what he already knew was true.
"Addy, wake up honey. Addison, look at me. Come on sweetheart." He pleaded, tears building in his eyes as he clung to her, burying his head into her neck and hair, unable to hold back the sobs that now wracked his body.
Sirius didn't hear the front door open behind him, or the two men that ran through his house, calling out his name.
"Bugger." Lupin muttered, looking around the decimated house.
"SIRIUS!" James managed to scream around the lump in his throat. "ADDY!"
"Oh no."
"Merlin."
It wasn't until a hand rested on his shoulder that Sirius pulled away from his wife and looked up.
Seeing his two best friends, Remus and James, he let out a shaky breath. "She…she's gone."
"Sirius, I…" Lupin began sorrowfully, as James stood unmoving tears already falling from his own eyes that stayed transfixed on the blonde in Sirius arms.
They all remained motionless, until Sirius grew wide-eyed, a look of absolute panic replacing the heartbreaking pain etched on his face moments before.
"Reagan." He muttered then quickly, but gently, lowered his wife down on the ground and stood up.
"Wait, what?" Lupin asked, terror creeping into his voice.
"Reagan. I haven't seen her…what if…" He quickly shook his head as if clearing the thought from it. "Reagan!" He stood up, barreling through the house.
"Reagan!" James shouted, snapping out of his shocked state, leaving the room just as quickly.
"Reagan! Make some noise for Daddy! Come on honey!" Sirius could be heard shouting through the house as doors slammed open, desperately looking for his daughter.
Remus turned to follow, but, before he could, a rolled up piece of parchment gripped in Addison's hand caught his eye. Kneeling next to her, he gently pulled it free, glancing at the blank paper, confused. Moments later, recognition dawned on his face as he realized what he must be holding. Addison had always found the Marauders' map extremely interesting, even before her and Sirius started dating during his sixth year. So after they bought their new house, Sirius helped her make her own map of the place, just to see how it worked.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Lupin whispered, hitting the map with his wand. When he did, ink instantly danced across the paper, forming the blueprint of the house, as well as the people currently inside. Lupin smiled sadly before looking down at the deceased blonde woman.
"You did it sweetie." He said softly, reaching down and closing her eyelids then hurried toward the stairs, paper still in hand.
"Reagan! Reagan!" Sirius shouted in pure panic, taking the steps two at a time as he bounded back into the living room, having already checked every room twice. "Reagan!"
Having triple checked all the rooms Sirius had just looked in, James hurried down the stairs after him, seeing him frantically looking around the first floor rooms, still calling his daughter's name.
"Sirius." James's gentle voice was ignored as the dog animagus dug through the debris in the living room.
"Sirius." Again ignored.
"SIRIUS!" He finally shouted. The longer haired man turned around and, upon seeing the look in James's eyes, shook his head silently, more tears breaking the surface and trialing down his cheeks.
"No."
"Sirius, she isn't here. They either took her or…" James' voice trailed off as Sirius slid down the wall, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.
"They killed them." He muttered, tears streaming. "They took my baby."
Quickly dropping down in front of him, James pulled his best friend into a hug, allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder as the tears dampened the shirt between the two. Sirius kept repeating an incoherent mantra, of which James could only make out "Addy," "dead," "my baby," and "Reagan."
James continued to hold Sirius tightly, as though he was the only thing keeping him from falling apart. He barely held back his own sob as he thought of Addison, a girl whom he had loved like a sister since she had joined the Quidditch team during her second year. His mind raced to his own wife and child and how devastated he would be if he lost either of them. His heart suddenly ached to be home and be with them, to have Lily hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but he couldn't leave, wouldn't leave, knowing he was needed here at the moment, consoling his best friend.
Suddenly, the shrill cry of an infant broke the ominous silence that had settled around the sobs. Sirius's head shot up faster than a snitch as he looked around, the despair in his eyes temporarily replaced by a glimmer of hope. "Reagan?" He questioned, scrambling to his feet, almost falling in his haste, before rushing to the stairs, taking them two at a time. He hurried to the linen closet, where the crying seemed to be coming from.
Lupin stepped away from the closet, carefully holding a wailing bundle in his arms.
"She's okay Sirius." He said softly. "Addison wrapped her in an invisibility cloak and hid her before…" He let his voice trail off, not wanting to burst the happy bubble now surrounding Sirius at the realization that his daughter was still alive and with him, before he handed the baby, wrapped tightly in a blanket, to him.
"Reagan." Sirius breathed softly, immediately snuggling his daughter to him, more tears falling down his face as he looked at the still crying three-and-a-half-month old child. Letting out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumped with relief as he studied her carefully, making sure she wasn't harmed. "Shhh. It's alright, Pup, it's alright. Daddy's here now and he'll keep you safe."
The child's cries instantly quieted, as Sirius bounced her up and down slightly, moving his body from side to side to appease her.
"Wait, why didn't we hear her crying?" James asked.
"Silencing spell." Lupin explained. "It looks like Addison figured if no one could see or hear Reagan they couldn't hurt her. Addy was holding her version of the Marauders' map; I looked at it and saw Reagan."
Sirius looked up toward the ceiling, biting his bottom lip as he blinked back tears then down at his daughter, who was now laughingly looking up at him, reaching up with her hand to grab a strand of hair and pull on it, her bright blue eyes still maintaining all the sparkle of wonder and innocence, completely unaware of the horror that had just transpired in the kitchen moments before.
"I got you Pup. Daddy's got you." He kissed her on the cheek, before holding her tight against his chest and shoulder again. "Daddy will always have you."
HP – HP – HP – HP – HP – HP
An hour and a half later, a small group had formed in Sirius's house as the news had spread about Addison's death. Her body had already been removed from the house, taken to St. Mungo's as friends and members of the Order slowly filed in to show their support to Sirius and young Reagan.
"Thanks Minerva." Sirius said quietly as she placed a cup of tea in front of him. Adjusting the now fussing infant so he only needed one arm to hold her, he took a drink with the other, the despair clearly shining through in his bloodshot, puffy eyes.
He rubbed one hand down his face, resting his elbow on the table before hiding his head behind it, taking in a shaky breath. He felt a hand rest on his back, rubbing it comfortingly before resting on his shoulder and squeezing.
Looking up, he flashed Lily a weak smile and seeing her tear stained face and the small baby boy nearly asleep in her arms, he rested his free hand on hers, squeezing softly. "Evans, why don't you and James get the little guy out of here? You all look exhausted."
She shook her head quickly. "You need us here, Sirius."
"Lily…"
"We're not going anywhere Padfoot." James's voice broke in as he stood beside his wife; his hand resting on Sirius's other shoulder, dried tear tracts on his face.
"Well, at least put the little guy to bed. It can't be good for Harry to be up this late. You can put him in Reagan's crib upstairs. There's a day bed and Addy's rocking chair is…"
His voice trailed off as Lily squeezed his shoulder again. "Okay." She agreed. "Do you need anything before I take Harry upstairs?"
He shook his head, the movement causing Reagan to start wriggling even more. Securing her with both arms, he shushed her softly and rested her head in the crook of his elbow again, attempting to get her to sleep.
Lily nodded, giving James a quick kiss before taking Harry upstairs.
James sat down on one side of Sirius, Lupin on the other, as the long haired man looked up toward the ceiling, running a hand down his face as tears started to building in his eyes again.
Minerva McGonagall placed a hand over her mouth, taking in a shaky breath as she walked into the other room where Moody, Kingsley, and Arthur Weasley were.
Frank Longbottom was standing next to Albus Dumbledore and Hagrid, whispering in hushed voices, before the Headmaster gently pushed off the wall, excusing himself as he somberly made his way over to the grieving man.
"Sirius." His soft voice broke through the tense silence, "let's step outside for a moment."
He looked up, unsure. "I, uh…" He cleared his throat, working past the lump that had formed. "I don't think Reagan should be outside. It's a little too cold for her."
"We'll watch her, Padfoot." Remus offered.
Sirius quickly shook his head, instinctively holding his daughter tighter. "No."
"Sirius. This is currently the safest house on the planet. Nothing will happen to her." The werewolf coaxed, but could tell before his sentence was over he wasn't getting anywhere. However, as Dumbledore took over the convincing, Sirius's reaction seemed to change.
"It will only be for a brief moment, Sirius. Besides, I think the fresh air would do you good."
Glancing between Dumbledore and then his two best friends, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Just a minute, right?"
"You have my word."
"And you guys are sure you can watch her until I get back?"
James nodded. "Absolutely. Now, let me see my Goddaughter."
With a deep frown and weary eyes, Sirius looked down at his daughter, lifting her up to snuggle for a moment before kissing her on the forehead. "Daddy's just stepping outside for a second. I'll be right back Pup. I promise."
With great care, he handed her to James, who smiled down at the baby as she who acted as though she were about to start crying. "Oh, don't you start crying, Pup. I know I'm not as pretty as your Aunt Lily, but your Uncle Prongs isn't that ugly."
Sirius stepped forward, wanting to take his daughter back, not able to bear hearing her cry, but stopped when he saw the baby smile up at her Godfather, even laughing a little.
"You would laugh at that you little booger." He said, tickling her belly lightly.
The dog anamagius stared at the two, uncertain in leaving his daughter. A hand was placed on his shoulder.
"Sirius. She'll be right here when you get back." Lupin swore, the conviction in his eyes leaving room for Sirius to do little but nod before looking at Dumbledore who smiled softly.
"Just five minutes Sirius. We shalln't be long."
He sighed, still eyeing his daughter reluctantly before standing and following Dumbledore outside. Tucking his hands into his robe pockets, he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, continually glancing over his shoulder to look toward the door they had just stepped through.
"Sirius…"
"Look, Dumbledore, if you're just planning to ask how I'm doing or give me some 'she's in a better place' pep talk, please, just save it and let me get back to my daughter."
"Sirius, I certainly would not insult you by asking how you're doing when it is so clear you are distraught, and of course, it would be highly inappropriate for me to attempt to devalue your grief."
"Then what are we doing out here?"
Dumbledore sighed, as if he knew what he was about to say would not be received well. "I think that it may be best if you took sometime away from the Order."
"What?" A dangerous edge formed in his voice as his eyes narrowed, the pain quickly giving way to fury. "My wife was just murdered by Death Eaters or Voldemort or who the bloody hell knows and you want me to walk away? I want answers, Albus. I want blood."
"And that is exactly why you should step back Sirius." His hand shot up as Sirius opened his mouth. "Sirius, you are so focused on revenge right now that you would walk right into a nest of Death Eaters if you thought you'd get a chance to take on whoever killed Addison."
"Bloody right I would."
"You would die to get revenge?"
"I want whoever did this to pay."
"So, you'd want me to keep you on the Order like nothing happened, and then, when we find out who killed Addison, send you after them and thus orphan Reagan?"
Sirius looked up, wide-eyed at the implications of his current idea for his next course of action. "I-."
"Sirius, I will not send a man to his doom and leave a child without her parents. I know you want to avenge Addison, but I urge you to wait until you're once again able to think rationally. She would want justice, but not at the price of her daughter being fatherless."
The moonlight glistened against the tears that were now falling down Sirius' cheeks. Wiping them quickly, he nodded. "Okay. I'll take some time away."
"Good." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now, this leads me to a more…difficult topic." Dumbledore looked toward Sirius, and the sadness and despair in his eyes almost caused him to lose his nerve. But, swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued. "If something were to happen…"
"James and Lily take Reagan. If they can't, Remus." Sirius offered like it was the simplest of concepts.
"And what of Peter?"
"He…umm…he doesn't do very well with kids. Reagan just starts crying every time he holds her. Harry too. Not sure why. I think he was actually relieved when I didn't name him as second guardian."
"Very well. But," Dumbledore ran a hand down his beard. "If something were to happen to threaten the entire Order and Reagan were not safe with either you or the others…"
"You think it'll come to that?"
"I think it's best if we're prepared for the worst possible scenario."
Sirius ran a hand down his face as he let out a long, drawn out breath, the events of the day clearly wearing on him tremendously. "She is to never step foot in my parents' house. I don't want her to grow up like that or ever know that's in her blood."
He stood wordlessly, taking great care in the decision he was about to make. This was not a light or easy decision. He couldn't just jump into it like he was so accustomed to doing. He couldn't look without leaping. Not with Reagan. Never with Reagan. Everything had to be looked at through a microscope. He walked to the fence at the edge of the yard, resting against it as he thought. This wasn't his decision to make alone. Addison should be there with him, deciding what was best for their daughter.
He stood, leaning against the fence, for a good few minutes, before Dumbledore cleared his throat directly behind him. "Sirius, I…"
"Addison's parents." He said, his shoulders slumping. "Her father hates me. Thought the whole 'witching' thing was just a phase Addison would have grown out of if it wasn't for me. Thinks we're all abominations. Her Mum's sweet though and would do anything to take care of Reagan."
"Very well."
"Only problem is their Muggles." He said, strained. "Her father did move them to America a few years back. He's from Chicago. They should be far enough to be safe, but if Voldemort or the Death Eaters wanted to go after her, she'd have no protection."
"If the worst comes to pass, I promise you, I will make sure she is protected." Dumbledore comforted, once again patting Sirius' shoulder. "Now, I'm sure you'd like to get back inside to Reag…"
Before he had even finished, Sirius had already cleared half the yard, making it to the door moments later. He walked inside to see Lupin, bottle in hand, feeding the small infant as he cooed at her, flashing a small, sad smile as he saw Sirius in the doorway.
"She wouldn't stop fussing, so I figured she was hungry. She hasn't eaten since…" He let his voice trail off. "Her eyes are already drooping again. Do you want me to take her up to her crib?"
"No. I'll take her into the living room. I just…need to know she's alright." He held out his arms, taking the precious child as he smiled down at her, rocking her gently. Remus and James following closely behind him into the living room.
He sat down in the recliner and started rocking her back and forth, his soft voice barely audible to the others in the room over the sound of the creaking chair as his eyes stayed transfixed on his daughter, feeding her the last bit of her bottle. He didn't bother trying to wipe or conceal the tears now falling freely down his face.
His daughter stared up at him intensely, as if knowing something was wrong. She reached out with one hand toward his cheek, like she wanted to wipe away a tear. Sirius grinned down at her, grabbing the hand in his own before leaning down to kiss it. Seeing Reagan's droopy eyes still attempting to focus on him and stay awake, he began to sing the song he had adopted into a lullaby for Reagan.
"May God bless and keep you always. May your wishes all come true. May you always do for others, and let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars, and climb on every rung. May you stay forever young."
The infant nuzzled into his chest as her eyelids closed and she finally slept, feeling safe and comforted in her father's protective arms.
Please leave a quick review letting me know what you think. I'll be forever grateful.
Casey
*2 Corin. 4:8-9*