a/n (1): Hey you lovely people! I know I never finished my other story and I fear that I won't be able to do so, now that the story on TV has progressed so much. Plus, college is way much busier than I would have ever anticipated. But I don't want to complain.

Anyway, ever since I read the episode description for episode 14 and saw the stills, I can't stop thinking about this episode. I'm scared it will break my heart. And this was my way of dealing with it. This story doesn't give away that much since it is only loosely based on the synopsis but I just wanted to warn you before you're going to read this little fic :-)

Love And Loss

Yourself and a partner of your choice

are cordially invited to attend the

1st annual Mystic Falls Ball

to be held at Klaus' mansion

this coming Friday, 8 pm

Sincerely yours,

Klaus

You look at the invitation with wide eyes and for a moment terror rips through your soul at the thought of what this horrible monster has planned now. But you are Damon and there is now space for fear and terror in your life. So you banish the fear from your eyes und put on that mask that has become your second skin.

"Have you received an invitation from Klaus as well?" was the first thing Damon heard upon picking up his vibrating cell phone. He detected the irritation and fear in her voice immediately. That feeling of protectiveness that always seemed to consume him where Elena was concerned filled his whole being.

"And hello to you, Elena." came Damon's snarky reply, trying to hold himself back as much as possible and also trying to distract her from the threat at hand for a moment.

"Hellooooo, Damon" Elena said, stretching the word deliberately before continuing: "So, have you received such an invitation as well?"

"Yes, I have indeed. And you will be my date." Damon stated without giving her any chance to object.

"Who said I was going?" the girl with chocolate brown eyes that hunted Damon's every waking and sleeping hour wanted to know.

"Are you kidding me? I have to attend. And since I know that there is no way I can make you get far far away from Mystic Falls on that evening, you will attend that ball with me. And you will not leave my side all evening, even if you have to pee. Understood?"

"Hello? Do I have a say in all of this?"

Damon hesitated for a second, hoping to give her the feeling that he really did consider her objection, while he refilled the glass in his hand with his favorite burbon.

"Will you leave town that evening and try to get as far away from here as possible?"

"Uuuh... No. I most definitely will not."

"Then no, you do not have a say in all of that." Damon replied and hung up the phone.

You stand in the entrance of her house and wait nervously at the bottom of the stairway for her to get ready. It is already 7.45 pm and you will be late if she does not come down soon. If it were under any different circumstances, you would be more than happy to take the love of your life to a formal ball. To spend time with her, to have fun, to swirl her around the dance floor. But things are as they are and you can not help but feel a little terrified. For her. And for you.

While you wait, your mind flashes back to the last couple of days. There have been countless fights with your brother on how they would handle the situation, on how they would get through the evening of the ball. And especially on who would be taking the woman you both love to the ball. There was no need to mention that you both had a déjà vu experience to a similar situation back in 1864.

Just when you started to relive the climax of your and your brother's discussion of the night before, your attention is drawn to the movement at the top of the stairs. A brown-haired angel in the most beautiful black and silver shimmering dress you have ever seen slowly descends the stairs.

Your heart skips a beat and you have to suppress the urge to run up the stairs, scoop her up in your arms and beg her to be yours forever. Instead, a deep sorrow overcomes your soul at the thought she might never truly be yours, despite everything that has happened between you two.

Damon parked his blue Camaro in front of Klaus' mansion before he helped Elena out of the car. With her satin clad hand firmly holding on to the crook of Damon's arm, they made their way for the entrance together.

Bonnie was already there, wearing a dark red dress that hugged her body tightly. Caroline was standing right next to her, the light blue dress matching her pale skin, giving her the appearance of a perfectly carved ice sculpture. Damon also spotted the Sheriff, a small smile gracing her lips while being deeply in conversation with some guy from the outskirts of town.

The long case clock at the opposite side of the pompously decorated room struck eight o'clock, when Klaus stepped on the dance floor with a glass of champagne in his hand. Damon watched him scan the room, while he welcomed his guests with a speech. When Klaus' eyes fell on him and Elena, a diabolical and knowing smile spread across his face. Despite the chill that run down Damon's spine he put on a nonchalant smile and nodded in his direction.

"To an unforgettable evening. Cheers!" Klaus finished his speech and then the horror began.

It's hands down the worst night of your life. And that says a lot, considering the fact that the beginning of the evening went beyond all your dreams.

You will never be able to describe the feeling of having the woman you love more than life in your arms. The feeling of her eyes never leaving yours while you lead her across the dance floor skillfully. That feeling when she flashes that special smile that is reserved for you only. The feeling of her frantic heartbeat against your chest when you pull her a little closer. The feeling of her body moving so in sync with yours.

And that feeling of hope when you see her tender look and feel her body reacting to your touch.

"Mind if I steal my gi... Elena for a second?" Stefan asked, his eyes saying so much more than he would ever admit openly. But Damon is his brother and he knew exactly what was going on his mind.

He can fool anyone. But he can not fool you. Behind that mask of inhumanity and indifference you can clearly see the desperation, the self-hatred but also the love dancing behind his eyes as he holds the woman you love more than anything close to his body.

An invisible fist clenches your heart and you think you have never felt that kind of pain before. It is worse than a stake scraping at the side of your heart. It is worse than a shower in vervain. It is even worse than sunlight burning your unprotected skin.

The sight of watching the two persons you care about the most is a pain that goes beyond your wildest dreams. It does not even come close to the pain you felt when your father made it clear again and again who his favorite son was or the pain of Katherine choosing Stefan to escort her to the ball.

No, this kind of pain is not from this world and only a person who had his dreams and hopes shattered could possibly understand what you have to go trough while watching Stefan and Elena dance.

It is just a dance. She kissed you back. you tell yourself, trying to dull the pain.

So you go and look for that source of champagne.

The ball was running smoothly but there was something in the air that kept nagging on Damon's inner senses. He had just decided to get some fresh air, knowing Elena safe with his brother, when he found Klaus' sister standing on the balcony, staring into the night sky.

Rebekah looked stunning in a red dress that looked vaguely familiar. She turned around so quickly that a human eye wouldn't have been able to catch the movement. The blonde eyed him suspiciously and didn't seem as surprised as he was to find him standing there.

"I thought you were dead? Well, at least as dead as one of you guys can be." Damon stated, not caring what his comment might provoke her to do. The thought hadn't even left his head when he felt himself pressed against the wall of the mansion, her delicate little hand tightly wrapped around his throat.

Damon didn't even try to shake her off, knowing very well that it would be of no use. And even if he stood a chance, maybe it would be easier if she would just do him the favor and end him right then and there. At least then he wouldn't have to stand Elena slipping away from him and back to his brother.

"Isn't that the pretty red dress you were staked and buried in?" Damon teased, trying to provoke her some more and was immediately rewarded with a tighter grip on his throat. They both glared at each other for what felt like minutes until Rebekah finally let Damon go.

"Elijah told me what had been going on since your little girlfriend put that stake in my back. Very clever. VERY brave. I must admit that." Rebekah explained and almost sounded impressed. "Thank you for saving Elijah."

Pain.

Anger.

Jealousy. And then some more.

All hell had broken loose just before the clock struck midnight. The lights in the mansion had gone dark without a warning and a deep roar echoed through the ball room. Damon run inside, desperately searching for Elena. People were screaming in terror, doors were being ripped open and Liz stormed by with a stake in one hand and the other safely secured around her gun.

There were shouts, sobs, people calling each others names in search for their loved ones, while there was only one force driving Damon through the crowd.

"You have to get to Elena. You promised her she would be safe."

Cold air swept through the room from the open doors. Damon halted for a second, taking a deep breath and calming himself down. "You're of no help if you freak out now." He scanned the room for any sign of Elena or Stefan.

That's when he heard their voices.

"Elena, come with me, please!" Stefan's desperate voice begged her. Damon couldn't see them yet but they had to be close. Relieve swapped over him at the realization that nothing had happened to them.

"No, I told you I can't leave without..."

"Please, we have to leave right now. We do not want to be here when Klaus comes and finds us."

"What the hell is going on anyways?" Elena wanted to know. But instead of fear, there was only determination in her voice. They had to be just around the corner, so Damon sped up.

"I have a few guesses. But trust me and come with me now. I know where we have to go."

Before Elena could reply, Damon rounded the corner and found the both of them in a tight embrace, their faces only inches apart. He would have anticipated a lot. But finding them in such a situation had definitely not been on his list.

What had they been doing there before the lights went out? Thoughts and pictures he couldn't afford to have right now flooded his mind and his already bruised and battered heart broke a tiny little more. His only hope was that neither one of them noticed. Putting all his feelings away, he grabbed Elena's hand.

"We have to get out of here. Come on." Damon said, his voice cold and devoid of any feeling.

"No, I'll take her." Stefan jumped in, moving closer to Elena. "She's not safe here. But I know a place."

"There's no way in hell I'm going to let you take her away." Damon replied, a frightening growling erupting from deep within his chest.

"Please, Damon, don't be childish. I want her safe just as much as you do!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE! You have to stop making decisions for me!" Elena said louder than she intended to and both Damon and Stefan let go of her.

"Elena, please come with me." Stefan tried again, more calm this time. He extended his hand in her direction. "Trust me."

Damon watched Elena's eyes wander from Stefan's hand to his eyes. Stefan nodded encouragingly, his eyes never leaving hers. Damon saw his world shattered before his eyes, when Elena turned to look at him. There were more emotions in her eyes than he had ever seen before. And while they tried to tell him that this wasn't his fault, that she was sorry and would explain, and that he should not be hurt, all Damon saw was Elena's hand taking Stefan's and her being hauled away from him.

And just when you thought that there could be no greater pain than the one you were already in, the woman you love but can never have is taken away from you.

You do not feel the pain of the stake that pierces through you left shoulder, leaving a deep hole in your lung. You do not see Klaus triumphantly laughing down at you.

You also do not feel the pain of the stake being removed, your blood immediately starting to heal your wounds. You do not see Rebekah's apologizing smile or feel yourself being lifted from the ground.

That switch to turn off your humanity has never been so tempting as it is right in this moment.

"That was not fair. Not to me. And not to Damon."

"He'll come around. He will understand."

"No, he won't and you know it. Do you have any idea what I just did to him?" the pain vibrating through Elena's voice startled Stefan.

You can not think and you can not feel and you have no idea how you will go one for even just another second. But you do because your sorry little ass rather suffers an eternity of watching your brother with the woman that should belong to you than living a moment without her.

And when Rebekah drops you off at the boarding house and follows you inside, you do not mind. Even as she walks up the stairs behind you right to the guest room next to yours and helps you take off your blood strained shirt, you do not mind. It is so very easy to picture Elena in the blonde's place because you have done it a thousand times in the past.

So it is not Rebekah's lips you kiss, not Rebekah's breasts your tongue explores, not Rebekah's dress you rip from her body. It is not Rebekah's lust filled eyes that watch your every move as you undress yourself. And it is not Rebekah's name that falls from your lips like a prayer when you bury yourself inside of her. That silent, single tear that rolls down your cheek, leaving a burning trail, is not shed for Rebekah but for the one woman you lost forever.

"What if Klaus got him?"

"He didn't. Trust me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am. That's not how we play this game. Klaus and me."

"That really is all that matters to you anymore, isn't it?"

"You matter and you know it."

"Damon matters. And he will never forgive us for this."

When you wake up with the first rays of the sun peeking through the curtains and feel a cold body curled next to yours you realize that it had not just been a nightmare. It was reality. Truth.

You let the coldness pull you back under.

"We need to go back. I have to make it right."

"I really have lost you, haven't I?"

"I'm sorry, Stefan. I never planned on this to happen. I didn't even realize it myself until last night."

"I understand."

"I really am sorry."

"I know. I'll take you back."

When you open your eyes the next time you think you are dreaming. She is standing in your room and the pain in her eyes is more than you can possibly bear.

"What... Why are you here? Has my dear little brother already left you again?" Damon's harsh words cut through Elena like a knife.

"Your dear little brother has brought me to you upon my request!" Elena replied, the pain in her voice still audible.

Elena didn't even look at Rebekah as she crawled out of bed, excused herself and left the two of them alone.

"Why was she here?" Elena wanted to know, looking expectantly at Damon.

"Why do you even care? I'd say you made your choice last night. I don't own you an explanation. There's nothing here for you anymore." Damon said, getting out of bed with the sheets wrapped around his hips.

"Why are you being like this?" Elena asked him, moving further into the room. "I thought..."

"You thought what?" Damon interrupted, the muscles in his chest flexing dangerously. "That I'd watch you run off with Stefan and not care? That I would just sit around and wait for you? Do you have any idea what you did to me last night?"

Elena just stared at him with wide eyes, the speech she had prepared on their way back to Mystic Falls having been destroyed the minute she walked in on Damon and Rebekah.

"I thought that we were past all this mess. That we had something going on here."

"I guess we were both wrong about that, weren't we? And you don't even have to answer that because you taking Stefan's hand last night was pretty telling."

"Come on, Damon, please."

"Please what? You made sure how things will be between us from now on. God... I can't talk to you about his right now." Damon sighed, his voice suddenly with an edge to it. "Right now, I have to figure out how I'm supposed to go on with my life. How I'm supposed to survive another second with you being so close to me. And it's my fault really. I should be used to it by now. Stefan will always be the one everyone chooses. My father. Katherine. You. I should never have expected anything else. But there's only so much pain a man can take, do you understand that? Even for a cold and heartless dick like me."

Without waiting for a reply, Damon moved past a speechless Elena and out of the room. It only took Elena a moment though before she could react, processing that she was about to loose the one thing that kept her going through all of this mess.

Elena run into Damon's room after him and grabbed his arm to make him look at her.

"You are neither cold nor a heartless dick. But you are crazy if you thought for even one second that I would just run off with Stefan after everything he did to the both of us. And you obviously don't know me at all if you think I would kiss you if there wasn't something going on between us."

"But you said it wasn't right." Damon reminded her of the conversation they only had had a couple of days ago.

"That's because I didn't realize how much I already love you!" Elena said in defense and put her hand over her mouth as she realized what she had just admitted for the very first time. To herself. And to him.

And before another word was said, Damon's lips were on hers.

The joy you feel in that moment lets you forget the pain you have felt only five minutes ago. Pain that has built itself inside of you for over a 150 years was forgotten with that one, single touch of her perfect lips.

Your arms circle around her, pulling her even closer to your body. You are mesmerized at how perfectly she fits against your body. You try to memorize every curve of her, every breathy sigh that leaves her lips, the way she moans your name silently. Pictures of her lying under you in your bed, writhing in ecstasy, screaming your name flood your mind. Pictures of cheesy picnics at the beach, of cuddling on the couch while watching a romantic movie, of taking walks around a lake, holding hands in the sunlight.

And when Elena's trembling hands loosen the sheets around your hips you can not think of anything anymore at all.

a/n (2): Soooo... did you like it? Then I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know! And even if you didn't like it, I would still love to hear from you! Thank you so much!