DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kyou Kara Maoh!. Because if I do, I'd marry Wolfram myself. Also, I recommend listening to The Man Who Never Lied by Maroon5 before reading this fic for added feels.
The Man Who Never Lied
Why Yuuri?Why?
I was already over you. I was done picking up the million pieces of my heart that you shattered. Wait, no. Scratch that. You didn't just shatter it.
Rather, you pierced it with a knife. You pushed until it was deep to the hilt. And you didn't even let the pain and brokenness seep through and come out from the wound.
Then, you turned that knife, twisted it until all I am feeling was pain. I was devastated. I was ruined. I was all I never thought I could ever be.
But when I thought I couldn't get any more destroyed, I did. You put fire in your hands — hot, burning fire — and clenched your fists around my heart. It was ironic how the fire was my element and the water was yours — you were supposed to still and calm my burning fire — yet here you are, burning the day and the moon out of me. You squashed my heart while burning it — taking out all the life you could and turning it into a smoking pile of rubbish ash.
That's what I've become Yuuri — ash. A million bits of pathetic and useless dust. That's what I've become because of my undying love. Then, like the world is just so cruel (which it really is), a cold hard wind blew — and all the pieces of me flew farther away from you.
"Hey, Wolf?"
I thought I could never recover. I was scattered all over. Not having a thought on how I would, even if I could, get up and build myself again.
"Wolf?"
But I did. I eventually did. I built myself all over again — paying attention to all the good things and other loving people that care about me. I forbid myself of thinking about you. I stopped my world from revolving only around you. And I succeeded. I'm free now… free from you.
"Did you hear me, Wolf?"
But why are you saying this now, Yuuri?!
"Hey…"
Are you planning on ruining me all over again?!
"Did you hear what I just said?"
Yes. Yes, I heard you.
"I said I love you, Wolf."
I know… I heard you.
"Why aren't you saying a thing?"
Because I know what will happen…
"Is it so impossible to believe?"
Yes…
No…
I…
I don't know anymore…
"Are you surprised?"
I'm bewildered.
"Are you shocked?"
I'm shaken.
"Are you… scared?"
…
…
…
I'm terrified.
I'm terrified of what I will do.
"Come on, Wolf. Answer me!"
I'm terrified of what my words will do to you.
"Please, Wolf…"
Yuuri…don't.
"Please…"
Don't.
"Please tell me you still love me."
No.
I can't.
Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't.
"Wolf…"
Don't, Yuuri…
"Please…"
Don't look at me with those teary puppy dog eyes while asking to be loved back because I don't want to see that all over again! I don't want to look at you because I will see my past self! I don't want to be reminded of my foolishness! I don't want to be reminded of how pathetic I was! I don't want to be reminded of how hopelessly in love I was! I don't want to be reminded of how pitiful I was! I don't want to be reminded of the greatest mistake of my life! And I don't want to be reminded that you never loved me back!
Don't… Yuuri.
Don't kill me again.
Moreover…
Don't kill yourself the way you killed me.
"Why aren't you saying a thing, Wolfram?!"
Because I don't know what to do…
"Just, tell me the truth!"
I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
That's the horrible truth, Yuuri. I don't.
…Not anymore.
"Why…are you crying?"
Because I don't want to kill you…
I don't want you to experience all the agony I've had just because the one I love the most doesn't love me back. I don't want you to go through the mental torture of choosing between to live with all the pain or to the die and not see your face again.
I don't want you to lose your sanity like I did.
I don't want your heart to break and tear at any possible moment like mine did.
I don't want you to be reduced to nothing like I did.
I will give you the world. Just…don't be like what I was.
I was the man who never lied
"Yuuri?"
"Wolf…"
I never lied until today
"… I love you, too, Yuuri."
But I just couldn't break your heart
"Thank you, Wolfram…"
Like you did mine yesterday
Don't cry, Yuuri. My lies don't deserve your tears.
What am I doing here?
Who is this one staring at me in the mirror?
Why does he have my blonde hair? Why does he have my green eyes?
Why does he look like me?
Why is he clad in black?
Why is he so elegantly dressed?
Why is he wearing a crown?
He… He is me!
But…
Why am I wearing a wedding attire?
Oh. Right.
I lived my life for him again, didn't I?
I threw away my own freedom… I forsook my own happiness… I came back and succumbed to all the things I've been running away from these past two years… And caged myself in the love that I'd yearned for for so long, yet didn't get, and now, don't even want anymore.
He bought me the most expensive gifts. He picked and gave me the most beautiful flowers. He did all he can to ensure I live comfortably. He gave me his time. He gave me all his faith and devotion. He cared for me like I was the most precious thing in the world. He yearned for me like I was all the good in the world. He showered me with love I could never hope to have. And he loved me wholeheartedly… like I once did to him.
But then again… I don't love him anymore.
No.
Not anymore.
Too much love is poison, Yuuri. I've once told you that.
But you just shrugged it off and, instead, smiled to me sincerely, Then I'd die loving you. And then, you kissed my lips.
How ironic, I thought. I once died for you, too.
But then, you didn't love me enough to be there with me when I buried my heart.
Yet here I am — ready to wed myself to you (even if two years ago, you would swear to every god that you would never marry me), ready to be with you 'til your last breath (even if two years ago, you'd prefer to see it as friendship than my undying love and devotion to you), ready to protect you (even if you underestimate me and always see me as leverage) and ready to give you all my life (even though I don't love you anymore).
You're too important, Yuuri. Too important to be hell bent and depressed just because of love. You have a whole kingdom that relies on you, a whole nation who looks up to you. So my sacrifice really is worth it.
The door suddenly opened.
"Cheers to the Maoh and his soon-to-be-husband who doesn't even love him back!"
The Great Sage. Ever so cynical.
… And always right.
"What are you talking about, Sage?"
"Don't hide behind your bratty façade, Lord von Bielefeld, soon-to-be Your Majesty."
"I don't understand…"
"Yes, you do. And you even over thought the situation, I must say."
What?
"You don't love him anymore. So, why marry him? It can't be his title and his riches, can it? I know you're not the type who will forsake his freewill and will willingly bind himself to the pressures of being the prince consort just because of that."
"I really don't—"
"I SAID QUIT IT ALREADY! Or do you want me, myself, to be the one to tell the whole castle and the whole kingdom that you're marrying our beloved king not because you love him but because of pity?!"
How?
"Don't look so shocked. I'm the Great Sage, after all. I saw through you, Lord von Bielefeld. I saw the lack of glint and lack of love in your eyes when you look at him. I saw all the smiles and laughs you've faked just to make him feel appreciated. I saw the apathy in you when he touches and hugs you. And I heard, very loudly, the heartlessness of your I love you's."
"It's better this way. You know that, Sage."
"Better let him live a happy lie and you a miserable one? Since when did you become this selfless?"
"Since he broke me."
"I knew it. You're saving Yuuri the agony of not being loved back. But, why?"
Because I don't want him to be like me.
"Wake up, Lord von Bielefeld! You're not helping Yuuri by fighting his battles for him."
I am.
"I thought you don't love him anymore? But why are you living your life for him again?"
I…
"Everyone saw how broken you were."
My eyes welled up with tears.
"When Yuuri broke off your engagement and dated another woman just days after, everyone saw the brokenness in you."
I…
"You thought no one heard you cry yourself to sleep every night when in fact everyone did. Except for the one you're crying for."
No.
"You ate all your meals in your chambers in the first couple of weeks."
Stop.
"Everyone noticed."
Stop reminding me…
"Except for him."
Of how pathetic and pitiful I was.
"You didn't even get out in the first days…"
Stop reminding me…
"Everyone was worried."
Of the painful truth…
"Except for him."
That I was nothing to him.
"He was so happy…"
And I was so miserable.
"But eventually, the woman was found out."
Yes. She was just after his crown and the glory of being queen.
"But then, you've already moved on."
Yes.
"You learned how to be happy with your family, with your friends, with everything in the world that you had been missing out all these years because of your love for Yuuri. You realized that Yuuri is not the world. You just made yours revolve around him."
How can the Great Sage be this smart?
"And later, Yuuri realized you are the one he really loves."
Yes.
"Everyone thought it was too late — that you were moved on and that you don't love him back anymore."
"It's true. I don't."
"But you surprised all of us when you two walked hand-in-hand to dinner that night, announcing that you would get married. It was all smiles and congratulations that night. But everyone was worried…"
Worried?
"Your eyes…"
My…?
"You were smiling and laughing… but it never reached your eyes."
How…?
"We thought, in time, you would change your mind. So we waited… and waited. Until today came. This is your wedding day, Lord von Bielefeld. And this is your last chance to freedom."
Last chance…
The Sage walked to the door and held the handle. But before he opened it, he turned.
"Last piece of advice: as you walk down the aisle, ask yourself the most important question — Am I gonna be happy in the end?"
Then he walked out of my room.
I looked at the big double doors in front of me.
Soft music was playing from the inside, I can hear it.
Happy chatter can be heard from the other side.
But they were all just background noise to the thuds of my pounding heart.
This is it. The product of all my lies, the zenith of the act I started.
It all lead to this.
This is all my doing.
This is all my fault.
At last, the wedding march started. And the double doors opened.
I was brightened by the light and deafened by the loud applause and the torrent of blood in my ears.
Surprisingly, that gave me the moment to think; What am I doing here?
I am at a wedding.
Whose wedding?
My wedding.
With whom?
Yuuri.
Who is Yuuri?
The king.
Aren't you supposed to say 'The one I love.'?
I… But I don't love him.
Then why are you marrying him?
Because I don't want him to get hurt. I care for him.
Then why are you marrying him?
Didn't you hear me?! I said I care for him.
But aren't you supposed to marry the one you love?
But… I don't love him.
Then you should not marry him.
"Are you ready?" kind black eyes greeted me.
Oblivious to my psyche, I was walking down the aisle while I was battling with my self. And when I reached the end, a hand who reached to my arm and a soft, loving voice took me out of my reverie.
Before I could answer, Yuuri escorted me to the front and we stood there together.
It all went well as we practiced it to be. And we were nearing the end. The end.
"…ask yourself the most important question — Am I gonna be happy in the end?"
Would living a lie, putting up an act, and hiding behind a façade all my life make me happy?
…
…
No.
You don't have to be smart to know that it won't.
"And your vows, Your Excellency?" Ulrike called out to me.
I lied, Yuuri. I'm sorry I made it reach this far. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not going to live my life for you, again. Never again. I hope you forgive me.
"Yuuri, my king…"
… don't look at me with those hopeful eyes.
"We've had a very very long and complicated story."
Smile all you can, Yuuri. Because after this, you will have no will to smile anymore. Trust me. I've been there.
"But, we still made it this far. And even came to this point."
Stop. Your tears are for the wrong reasons. Stop.
"Six months ago, I was a man who never lied. Until that one fateful day that I decided to — that day when I told you I still love you."
Your happy expression faded.
"I long stopped loving you. I've been happy the past couple of years. And you were not a reason for that happiness. I was moved on for the past two years. But then, out of nowhere, after you've dissolved our first engagement, broke my heart to a million pieces, loved another woman, just days after, who is nothing but a power hungry harlot, and I have picked up all my pieces, moved on, and started to be happy, you declared your love for me."
Surprise and disbelief was written all over your face.
"I was reduced to nothing when you made it clear that you would never love me back."
Tears sprang to your eyes.
"I never lied until that day, six months ago. But I just couldn't break your heart, like you did mine."
I held one of your tear-stained cheeks.
"I don't love you anymore, Yuuri. I'm sorry I made it come this far. I'm really," and I started crying, too, "really sorry. Please forgive me."
You held my hand that was on your cheek.
"I just don't want you to get hurt and be destroyed like I was, Yuuri. Please forgive me. Please… please… forgive me."
You took my hand that you were holding and kissed my palm.
"You are forgiven, Wolf. How could I not forgive the one I love the most?"
Oh, Yuuri…
"You are the fire and I am the water. When you loved me, I never loved you back. When I was happy, you were drowning in your misery. When the woman left me and I was devastated, you found your happiness. And when I finally realized that you're the one I love, you don't love me anymore."
I'm sorry…
"We are complete opposites, Wolf," then you looked intently into my eyes, "but we are meant to be together."
"After all of this, Yuuri? You still think that?" I don't get you.
"Yes, because if we're not, we should be far from each other now. I should not have realized that I love you. And you should not have lied that you love me, too. All of these meant something, Wolf. We just have to hold on to find out what."
"I don't—"
"I may not make sense but I want you to promise me one thing, Wolfram."
"What?"
"That you will never leave my side. Just stay with me a little longer. Until we find out what we really are to each other. Together, let's wait for this to end."
"The end?"
"Yes. A happy ending. If we're not happy, this is not yet the end."
THE END
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-ash