A/N:This is my first atempt at writing fanfiction. I dont really like writing but decided i would give this a try. Constructive criticism is welcome:)

[This story starts around page 589 of Eclipse.]

I couldn't stand being in the house a moment longer. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door, practically running to my truck. I climbed into the cab and started the ignition.

If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving up being human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose.

And maybe it was. Was I really willing to give my whole life up for Edward? I loved Edward, but was it healthy to abandon my family and friends just for him?

I thought about this as I drove to La Push. I pulled into the long driveway and shut off my truck, afraid to go inside.

No, it wasn't. It wasn't healthy at all. For the past two years, I had been more than ready to give up my life to spend eternity with Edward. It was a selfish decision. I never stopped to really consider the effect it would have on the ones I loved. Could I leave my mother and Charlie? What about Jacob?

Jacob, the one who was there for me when I wasn't even there for myself. Jacob, the one who put me back together in the worst time of my life. Jacob, the one who I had hurt time and time again but still continued to love me.

I knew who my decision was going to be.

I got out of the truck and went to the door and let myself in. I went straight to Jacob's room. Not sure whether to knock or not, I hesitated outside of the door with my hand on the doorknob.

Billy came up behind me, "Go in. He woke up about 15 minutes ago."

I sighed and turned the knob.

Jacob was lying on the bed; the whole right half of his body was covered in plaster. It hurt to know I was the cause of this. He looked at me for a long moment then smirked.

"Jake. . . " I started but he cut me off.

"Look, Bella, before you say what you have to say I want to tell you something. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making this decision harder on you. I'm sorry for kissing you without your permission. I should've never have done that. I just didn't know how else to make you realize you loved me, too. I had to do everything I could. But I understand it now, you can't live without him. But I could give you a normal life. You wouldn't have to change for me at all. I love you, and I want to make you happy. . ."

I stood there in shock. Why was he apologizing? This was all my fault, and I wasn't going to let him take the blame for it.

"Jacob, I love you too. Thank you for making me realize that before it was too late." His eyes widened in disbelief but I continued. "Thank you for always being there for me. I have been so selfish. I really hope that you can forgive me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want to be with you. It took me all this time but I finally figured it out. After Edward left, I couldn't let him go. I've loved you this whole time, ever since the motorcycles. At first I thought I loved you as family but the kiss on the mountain today opened my eyes. I saw our whole life Jake, and I want it. I don't want to give up my family and friends, or having children, just to become a vampire."

"Bell-"

I held up my hand, I wasn't done. "But Jake before you make up your mind, I need to tell you something." I took a deep breath, he deserved to know. He had to know everything. "When I brought the motorcycles to your house, it wasn't because I wanted to hang out with you, not a first." I closed my eyes and let the rest rush out. "It was because I found that I would hear Edwards voice if I did anything reckless or stupid. But after hanging out with you, I felt happy, almost like I was my old self again. I couldn't wait to spend time with you. I always kept you at arm's length because I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't know if I could love someone the same way I loved Edward . . ." I trailed off, waiting for his reaction.

His face was blank, emotionless. I almost regretted telling him it, but then his lips tugged up at the corners and he smiled my smile. He motioned for me to come to him. I crossed the room, unsure of where to sit. His big frame looked so fragile. He pulled me next to him on the bed.

"Are you sure?" He asked. His voice doubtful. "Does Edward know?"

"Not yet," I admitted. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to say to Edward. I was going to break my heart to tell him I didn't want to be with him anymore. But he had forever to find someone to love. I had to believe that there was someone else for him in the world, just like there was for me. "But I'm positive. I love you Jake," I said as I kissed his shoulder.

"I love you too, Bella."

I looked up and he was grinning. It made me happy to know I would never hurt Jacob again. Edward was a different story. Telling him my choice would break him. But I had to make sure he wasn't going to go to Italy after I told him. He wouldn't do that would he? I would make sure he wouldn't. No matter what, I still loved him. Not as much as I loved Jake, but I couldn't let him kill himself because of me.

I pushed those thoughts aside and thought about happier things. Spending my days in La Push with Jacob, not having to worry about Victoria coming to kill me . . . I felt my eyelids start to close and fell into a dreamless sleep.