Goodbyes
How do you say goodbye to the person you love when all you want to do is to hold them in your arms and never let them go?
Warnings: Feels maybe?
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are the propery of Kishimoto Masashi.
"Are you sure about this?" you ask as you put on your helmet and buckle its strap into place.
He nods before grabbing the helmet you hand him by the straps and swings it over his own head. He pushes it down and buckles it.
You feel his hand on your shoulder, its weight and warmth a familiarity you have come to live with as he takes his place behind you on the motorbike.
"Let's go," he says and you start the bike switching gears and hitting speed.
"When will you come back?" you ask at the turn that leads to the main street.
You watch in the rearview mirror as he shrugs, his leather jacket softly brushing against your cotton shirt-clad back at the motion. "Who knows?" he says, his voice slightly muffled by the clear shield of the helmet.
You frown. "But you'd said you might come back home after taking the exam!" you say and his eyes shift inside the clear shield.
"I don't know anymore," he says softly and your heart does a double take. You two are best friends and while you attend a local college, he's a student of one of the most prestigious universities in Otogakure.
"What is that supposed to mean?" you ask, your voice taking on a hysteric shade.
He sighs and leans forward. The zipper of his jacket brushes against your back again but this time it digs in a little as his chest touches your back too. "You know I don't like this place anymore, right? Otogakure has a lot to offer that this dump doesn't. Besides, coming here only reminds me of you know what…" he trails off and leans away making you miss that body heat the moment it leaves you.
You know what he's talking about. Here in Konoha he may have his roots but the nightmares that linger cannot be banished so easily. His house, or what remains of it, only serve to remind him and everyone for that matter, of the fire which broke out when he was seven years old, destroying not just his house but his family as well. The death of his parents is still something that he has not been very good at dealing with even now.
"But you can always stay at my place!" you argue. You've hardly seen the guy in the past six months and here he is, coming home for only a week and talking about going back already.
He breathes out rather loudly. "Let it go." There's finality in his voice and you can't help but huff angrily, swallowing the half-formed excuses that linger on your lips.
You turn in front and stiffen angrily. He knows how you feel about him and you know that somewhere deep down he has the same feelings for you even though you both haven't really talked about it. Because there's no way in hell he would sleep with you if there was nothing there and knowing him, he doesn't do anything just for the heck of it. Besides, a pity party is not really his cup of tea.
"I'm sorry," he says very softly, his head on your shoulder, his hot breath right at the most sensitive section of your neck making you shiver with its heat.
"Don't be," you mutter, sulking angrily but the fight has left you. You understand. You know how difficult it is to deal with demons which don't really leave you alone. Not when you were seven and not even now when you're twenty-one.
"I knew you'd understand. Also, you know I've signed up for those advanced designing courses that will start early so I must go back." His perfect Otogakure accent grates your nerves.
"Now what can I say?" you ask rhetorically as you turn your gaze from the road and into the rear side mirror.
He laughs and pats your back smiling at you in the rearview mirror. "Nothing, really," he says.
You smile. "You'll catch me again on email, right?" you ask.
"Of course," he says pulling out his cell phone and typing away at it.
You narrow your eyes in anger. There's this selfish part of you that only wants you for him when you're both together and when he starts doing random stuff on his phone, it really gets on your nerves.
"I'll tell you what," you say keeping your voice as casual as possible as you take a left. "When we're together, I want you to shove that phone in your pocket and forget about it."
He smiles with amusement but doesn't put it away. "Jealous much?" he asks and there's a teasing note in his voice that annoys you to no end. "It was just a friend from the university," he says and continues typing away.
You're ready to hit the brakes and command he pocket the offending device when he turns the screen off and pockets it. Unconsciously you loosen your hold on the accelerator.
You don't want him to go. This distance from your house to the airport isn't much, but every mile covered makes you realize just how soon you're going to have to let him go, how much sooner he is going to go back to his world and you will return to yours.
You let go of the accelerator slowly, bit by bit, so that he doesn't notice. When the speed falls below 40 your heart hammers in your chest thinking he is going to comment on it but he just chuckles and you watch in the rearview mirror as he gives you a knowing look and bites his lip to prevent himself from laughing. "Hurry up!" he says, jostling you slowly as he pushes his backpack higher on his shoulder.
"But I don't want to let you go!" you whine like a needy toddler. Living without him hasn't been easy. Missing him all the time hasn't been easy. True, you have your friends and everything, but hey, this is Sasuke. Your feelings for him aside, he's always been there for you.
You hit the brakes and smile when you see the red light. You watch in your rearview mirror as he adjusts his backpack again and glances at his watch, taking a note of the time. "How long before your flight leaves?" you ask, turning back to look at him, your eyes drinking in his profile as you greedily try to savor every second you can with this man.
"Half an hour," he says and sounds almost wistful about it, like he wants it to happen instantly, like this half hour is a monumental burden on him.
You huff as you turn your head forward and let it hang. "I'll try to be back after the exam," his voice in your ears quiet and soft is your undoing and you want nothing more than to turn around and head back home, till you can lock him away from the world, away from all his miseries and away from all his reasons about why Otogakure is the perfect place to go. You want him here with you, you want him home.
"Naruto," he says and you look up startled, too lost in your need for him. He smiles at you and points at the light which has turned green. "Let's go," he says.
Reluctantly, you press the start button, giving the bike a raise as it begins its slow acceleration. Four miles ahead, the airport building looms large to your left. You open your mouth to start another conversation but you're afraid the only words that will leave your mouth will be of love and longing and so you close it.
"You know I'm going to miss you, right?" Sasuke's voice, once again so close to your right ear makes you gasp. But this time the shock is born out of his words than his voice. Not trusting yourself to speak, you dip your head once.
"When I come back, I want us to go on a vacation. Nobody else, just you and me," he says as he puts his chin on your shoulder, the heat of his skin sending a current running through your body, causing you to shiver involuntarily.
"Where do you want to go?" you ask, your voice loud enough for him to hear above the roar of the engine. Vacation sounds nice, vacation sounds fun. You can have him all to yourself, you can take him wherever you want, and you want to just be with him.
"Wherever you take me," he says with a smile in his voice that puts a smile on your face.
You nod, your head filled with all the possibilities that lie ahead. Suddenly you have so much to do. You have to find the perfect place, you have to make the perfect plan, you have to book tickets, shop, pack, but above all you have to find the right place. The sea sounds nice but maybe Sasuke is in the mood for mountains? But all that can wait. That will give you something to talk about while Sasuke is away in Otogakure.
Sasuke is quiet when you two reach the airport. He takes out his phone and checks the messages he's received on his IM, laughing at a couple of them. Your buoyed mood takes a downward dip and you find yourself irate at all his friends who message him round the clock. This past week that he has been here with you, he's spent more time on his phone than talking to you. You growl in anger and he quickly shoves his phone away and gives you a small smile which is both a mixture of how apologetic he is and yet how much he enjoys teasing you.
You really have little choice but to grab him in a playful headlock which has him laughing and hitting your hand to let him go. The sound of a plane landing nearby bursts the happy bubble as your arms loosen, but you don't relinquish your hold on him. You're not ready to let him go. Not yet. But he pulls his head out of your grip and shakes his head to bring his slightly tousled hair into its original style again.
You watch with your heart growing heavier by the minute as he hoists his backpack up on his shoulders; runs a hand through his hair and pushes it back slightly before he looks at you and smiles one of his rare smiles. Your heartbeat doubles and you gasp at the sheer poignancy of the gesture. Then he holds out a hand. "So I'll see you in a couple of weeks?" he asks raising an eyebrow undoubtedly at your morose expression.
You nod and maybe it is something about airports or your expression that he turns around and surprises you by giving you a hug. "You're going to be fine," he says with a small laugh as he pats your back in a gesture you know all too well is purely out of love.
You roll your eyes at his attempts at trying to cheer you up but you pat his shoulder back. "Yeah I know."
He draws away and gives you an adoring look. "Don't eat too much ramen, okay?" he says and you feel a small smile tugging at your lips.
"Take care, Sasuke," your voice sounds raspy, like you haven't used it in years. He nods and makes his way towards the gate.
You stay till he moves through the gate and you're still standing there when he goes out of your sight. Finally, you sigh deeply, shove your hands into the pockets of your rugged blue jeans and then turn around to make your way back to your bike.
Wherever you take me…
The smile that comes across your face washes away the pain of watching him go as hope rises in your chest. By the time you exit the airport and make your way to the spot where your bike is parked, your heart beats with the unmasked joy of what lies ahead. And by the time you reach home, you're done with mulling over whether it's the sea or the mountains because honestly, whatever you pick won't matter. What will really matter is that you're both together, away from the world.
The End